Author: Fabrice Julien PUA

How to get a strong, lasting erection? How to get hard and stay hard? In this article, we’ll address erection issues and natural solutions to improve your sexual vitality.

Introduction

A strong erection isn’t just about age. Yet after 40, many men notice a drop in quality. This can be linked to fatigue, stress, hormonal decline, circulatory problems, or lifestyle imbalance. Fortunately, in most cases, natural solutions work very well.

This guide gives you the keys to improving your erections without relying on medication. Breathing, diet, strength training, hormonal balance, circulation, and mindset — it’s all covered. This program is designed for men over 40, but there’s also a special section for younger men. Because yes, it can happen at any age — especially due to stress.

And if you’re also ejaculating too quickly, the problem compounds. Of course, the two issues don’t always go together. Some men come too fast but can get hard again… others struggle to maintain erections but have trouble climaxing. Neither is ideal.

But if you ejaculate fast and can’t get hard again… ouch.

👉 You can also check out this article on how to last longer in bed >>

Why Your Erection Might Fail

Common Physical Causes

• Reduced blood flow due to age or arterial plaque
• Overweight, sedentary lifestyle, lack of physical activity
• Chronic fatigue, poor deep sleep
• Natural testosterone decline (about 1% per year after age 35)
• Excessive alcohol, tobacco, or certain medications

🔎 First step: see a doctor to rule out any serious underlying medical conditions. Once that’s done, we can work on your sexual confidence and lifestyle together.

Psychological Causes

• Work or family stress
• Performance anxiety (which is why you should also get good with your fingers and tongue)
• Relationship or emotional issues
• Porn addiction or unrealistic sexual expectations

✅ Good news: most of these causes can be reversed or improved within a few weeks.

It can be tough to accept that your erection problems are stress-related…

But your body is trying to tell you something.

How to Naturally Improve Erectile Function

1. Improve Blood Flow

An erection is primarily a vascular event. Blood needs to flow freely into the penile chambers. Healthy arteries are essential.

➡️ When your body is relaxed, blood flows in — you get hard. When tense or stressed, it cuts off — you go soft. That’s why stress kills erections. You wouldn’t want to be chased by a lion with a boner, would you?

Practical Tips:

• 🍎 Eat more berries, beets, garlic, onions, citrus, and dark chocolate (100% cocoa)
• 🏃‍♂️ Do moderate cardio 30 min, 4x/week (fast walking, cycling, swimming)
• 🚫 Avoid saturated fats, fried foods, processed junk
• ☕ Cut caffeine and drink more water (2 liters/day)

2. Boost Testosterone Naturally

Testosterone is key to male libido. After 40, production steadily declines.

What Helps:

• 🥚 Eat zinc-rich foods: oysters, eggs, pumpkin seeds, fatty fish
• 🛌 Sleep 7.5–9 hours per night with quality deep sleep
• ✊ Strength train 3x/week (even bodyweight only)
• 😊 Meditate or do yoga to lower cortisol (stress kills testosterone)

⚠️ Watch out for endocrine disruptors (plastics, pesticides, synthetic cosmetics) — they’re everywhere and mess with your hormones.

3. Targeted Exercises: Kegels, Core Work & Posture

Your pelvic floor muscles (especially the pubococcygeus or PC muscle) play a crucial role in erection and control. Strengthening them improves erection quality and ejaculation control.

Kegels:

• Contract as if stopping your pee
• Hold 5 sec, relax 5 sec
• Repeat 10 times, 2–3 times/day

(Some experts don’t recommend doing this during actual urination, but you can train the muscle via mental focus.)

Core Strength and Stability:

A strong core supports better blood flow and sexual positioning.

• Planks, crunches, glute bridges, slow squats
• ⛹️ Yoga: plank pose, cobra, warrior II

Once cardiac issues are ruled out, exercise is one of the best remedies.

4. Reduce Chronic Stress and Anxiety

A stressed man activates his sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) — which shuts down erections. Erections need the parasympathetic system (“rest and digest”).

You can’t run from danger with a hard-on, right? So it makes sense that stress is the enemy of arousal. Some pressure is inevitable, especially with a new partner. The key is learning to manage it — and having backup plans in case things go sideways.

Effective Anti-Stress Routines:

• 4-7-8 breathing: inhale 4 sec, hold 7, exhale 8
• Cardiac coherence: 6 breaths/min for 5 minutes, 3x/day
• Hot baths, time in nature, silence, slow music

Try different things. Even placebos can help — if it works, it works.

5. Conscious Sexuality and Sex Tao

Instead of chasing performance, reconnect with your inner sexual energy.

Sex Tao, an ancient Chinese tradition, teaches how to recycle sexual energy through breath, muscle control, and focused awareness. It allows:

• Deeper, more stable erections
• Prolonged pleasure (even without ejaculation)
• Less reliance on external stimulation

Practice:

• Breathe through your belly
• Gently contract the pelvic floor
• Visualize energy rising to your chest or head

Sex Tao is a system for mastering sexuality: orgasm control, delayed ejaculation, heightened sensation, and more.

Focus: What About Younger Men?

Before 40, erection issues are also common, but often due to different causes:

• Too much porn and frequent masturbation ➝ real desensitization
• Student/work stress or toxic relationships
• Poor diet and irregular sleep (alcohol, drugs)
• No exercise (or extreme fatigue from overtraining)

✅ Main tip for young men: reset your mind and body.

• Quit porn for 30 days
• Learn to enjoy pleasure without always ejaculating
• Resume regular physical activity
• Reconnect with your body (mindfulness, breathing, slow touch)
• Don’t compare yourself — especially not to porn stars
• Take care of your lifestyle (diet, hydration, rest)
• Find a sexy woman who really excites you!

Bonus: Diet and Natural Supplements

Some superfoods and supplements can help support your efforts:

• Maca: Peruvian plant known for boosting libido
• Red ginseng: enhances sexual and mental energy
• L-arginine / Citrulline: amino acids that promote blood flow
• Ashwagandha: reduces stress, supports testosterone
• Omega-3s: improve blood fluidity, brain function, and hormone balance

⚠️ Always check with a health professional before starting any supplement regime.

Conclusion: Take Back Control, Naturally

You get it now — a great erection isn’t just mechanical. It’s the result of a healthy body, calm mind, deep breathing, and a good relationship with yourself.

✅ With consistency, even after 40, you can regain strong, lasting, satisfying erections. And most importantly — you don’t need a pill. You need an aligned lifestyle.

Use Viagra or Cialis only as a last resort — and never take sketchy products from the internet.

FAQ

What if nothing works to get a solid erection?
See a urologist or sexologist. They can check for serious issues (diabetes, hypertension, hormonal imbalance). You can also consult a sex coach.

How long before I see results?
Some improvement can show in 1–2 weeks. But expect 4–6 weeks for solid, lasting changes with consistent effort.

Is porn harmful for erections?
Yes, excessive visual stimulation can mess with real-life arousal. Even a temporary detox often boosts erection quality.

➡️ Especially if you want to “get hard on command.” If you always need stronger stimuli for the same level of arousal, that’s a red flag. Train your body to get aroused by thought — no visual aid needed.

Can I still improve my erection at 50 or 60?
Absolutely. Erections reflect overall health. Many men 50+ report better sex lives today thanks to simple, natural changes.

⚠️ Be aware: some medications can have erection problems as a side effect. Always check the leaflet.

 

Your sex-coach

Fabrice Julien

How to last longer in bed? How to last longer during sex? Discover this complete guide to lasting longer with a woman. We’ll talk about various ejaculation issues, and how to take control.

Introduction

I imagine you’re looking for a method that’s natural, respectful, and satisfying?

Lasting longer in bed is absolutely possible — without medication (Viagra, Cialis), without gimmicks, just with the right techniques, better physical and mental preparation, and open communication with your partner. This complete guide will help you understand why you ejaculate quickly, how to regain control of your body, and most importantly, how to become a more confident and enduring lover.

Quick reminder: to be considered “good in bed” by most women, you generally need to last at least 10 minutes of active sexual intercourse. That gives time for a few positions. It’s not about records — it’s about the quality of the shared experience. Premature ejaculation can be a real handicap.

Why Some Men Ejaculate Too Quickly

The most common cause is premature ejaculation, a frequent issue that can affect any man, at any age. It’s often related to:

• Hypersensitivity of the glans
• Lack of muscular control (pelvic floor, abs)
• Habits of fast masturbation (in secret, under stress)
• Stress or performance anxiety (very common!)
• Poor understanding of one’s body and arousal threshold
• Neurological or hormonal factors (less common)

In any case, it’s not a life sentence. Control can be learned. And you’re on the right page to improve.

By the way, it’s not just premature ejaculation that’s problematic. Rapid ejaculation — meaning ejaculation before both partners are ready — is also an issue. Especially if it’s combined with difficulty getting hard again…

Check out this article on how to get better erections >>

Immediate Techniques to Delay Ejaculation

These methods can be used tonight (even if you’re with a bombshell):

Stop-Start Method (Edging)

This technique involves stopping all stimulation (masturbation or penetration) just before orgasm, waiting until the urge subsides, and then resuming.

Stimulate her with something else — like oral sex — while you cool down.

➡️ Use this multiple times during one session. It’s a powerful training method to help you understand and control your arousal threshold.

Best practiced during mindful solo masturbation sessions.

Stop-Squeeze Method

When arousal is too high, stop and gently squeeze the base of the penis or frenulum for 5 to 10 seconds. This reduces stimulation and delays ejaculation.

➡️ Can be done solo or with your partner during sex.

This method exists, but I don’t personally recommend it often.

Think About Something Else (Even Your Grandma)

It sounds silly, but mentally detaching yourself from intense arousal can help. Think of neutral or unsexy things (your grandma, your taxes, tonight’s dinner) to defuse the moment.

Once the peak has passed, you’ll often find you can last quite a bit longer. Arousal comes in waves — the goal is to surf them.

Pinch Your Ear or Change Position

A small physical cue can break the automatic cycle of arousal. Pinching your ear, biting your lip, or switching positions can buy you time.

Some men even say out loud, “I’m about to cum” — and that expression alone can bring relief and buy them more time.

Use Thicker Condoms or Desensitizing Sprays

Condoms with a numbing effect or sprays containing lidocaine/prilocaine can reduce sensitivity. It can help temporarily, but don’t overuse them — it may affect pleasure or your erection quality.

Ejaculatory Control and Advanced Techniques

Conscious Breathing

This is one of the most effective tools. Slowing your breathing lowers your heart rate, calms your nervous system, and enhances control. Inhale through your nose for 3 seconds, exhale slowly for 5. Sync your breath with your movements.

➡️ The closer you get to orgasm, the faster your body wants to go. Breathing calms that impulse.

Pelvic Floor Mastery (Kegels)

Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles that help control ejaculation. They also lead to harder and longer-lasting erections.

• Contract the muscles you’d use to stop peeing
• Hold for 5 seconds, release for 5 seconds
• Do 3 sets of 10 contractions per day

Some experts suggest avoiding stopping your pee mid-stream due to inflammation risk. But you can train your pelvic muscles through focus alone — no bathroom needed.

I teach these in-depth in my Sex Tao training course >>

Sex Tao (Taoist Sexual Practice)

Sex Tao is an ancient Chinese practice focused on circulating sexual energy (Chi) throughout the body. The goal is to separate orgasm from ejaculation and even experience multiple orgasms without releasing.

It involves:

• Deep meditation
• Targeted muscular contractions
• Highly controlled breathing
• Deep focus on internal sensations

Medium and Long-Term Exercises

Cardio and General Endurance

Your body is your vehicle. The fitter you are, the better you perform sexually. Cardio (running, rowing, cycling, HIIT) improves blood flow, stamina, and reduces stress.

➡️ Aim for 3 sessions per week, 30 minutes each.

Functional Strength Training and Core Work

A solid core is essential for thrusting, movement control, and sexual stamina.

Try planks, bridges, lunges, squats, and slow push-ups.

Fast ejaculation may also signal your body wanting to “end the effort” quickly. But a stronger body is more resilient.

Yoga and Mobility

Yoga enhances breathing, body awareness, flexibility, and mental grounding. It significantly reduces anxiety. Poses like Cobra, Child’s Pose, and Warrior II are especially helpful for sexual energy.

➡️ Some yogis claim they can make love for over an hour without ejaculating.

And yes — the best way to practice is mindful solo masturbation. Avoid conditioning yourself to “finish fast” with porn.

Lifestyle and Nutrition

Your sex life reflects your overall lifestyle.

• 🍎 Eat an anti-inflammatory diet: berries, leafy greens, omega-3-rich foods
• ❌ Avoid processed sugar, junk food, and excess caffeine
• 🚬 Quit smoking, cut back on alcohol and drugs: all hurt your control and erection quality
• 💤 Sleep well: testosterone is produced during deep sleep
• 💧 Stay hydrated: good hydration supports circulation and sexual energy

Communication and Mindset

Don’t Make Performance the Goal

Focusing on “lasting as long as possible” can increase pressure. Focus instead on shared pleasure, connection, and intimacy. Talk to your partner about what you’re trying — being aligned will relax you and help you last naturally.

Ditch Porn

Porn creates unrealistic expectations and bad habits (fast, intense solo sessions). Reconnect with reality — your body, your breath, your partner.

Sex Therapy

A sex therapist can help uncover blocks, provide guided exercises, and reduce performance anxiety. It’s not a weakness — it’s smart.

Conclusion

Lasting longer in bed is a mix of immediate techniques, physical training, mental awareness, and lifestyle upgrades. It’s not something you’re born with — it’s something you learn.

The combo of breathing + Kegels + Sex Tao + cardio + communication is unbeatable.

➡️ And remember: make 10 minutes your baseline. Not to impress, but to give your partner a true shared experience.

FAQ: Lasting Longer in Bed

What’s the average duration of sex?
Between 5 and 6 minutes for most men. But with focused training, 15–20 minutes becomes very doable — enough for at least 3 positions. Don’t start with what excites you the most (often doggy style).

Does Sex Tao really work?
Yes, it’s a proven practice in Eastern traditions. But it requires discipline, regularity, and a deep connection with your body. It’s not for everyone — but it works.

Can I train alone to last longer?
Absolutely. Kegels, edging, mindful breathing, and Tao practice are all trainable solo. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll be with a partner.

Should I avoid ejaculation altogether?
No. The idea is to choose when you ejaculate, not to suppress it entirely. Some days you’ll last 20 minutes, others 7 — the key is having control.

How long until I see results?
With consistent practice, you’ll likely see progress within 2–3 weeks. In 2–3 months, your sex life can transform completely.

 

Your sex coach,
Fabrice Julien

How to finger a girl ? Fingering her is an art. So, how to put fingers in her pussy ?

You can learn how to do it properly here.

Why learning how to stimulate with fingers?

Digital stimulation (fingering) involves touching the vulva and vagina with the fingers. Often seen as just a warm-up act, it’s actually a legitimate and deeply pleasurable sexual practice. When done properly, it can lead to clitoral or vaginal orgasms, enhance trust and intimacy, and even result in female ejaculation (squirting) for some women.

Understanding how to finger a woman respectfully and attentively is essential for anyone wishing to explore sexuality gently and consciously. It’s an adaptable, sensual way to connect — every woman is different, and so the technique should be too.

Anatomy and Physiological Basics

The Vagina and Its Sensitive Areas

The human vagina measures approximately 2.5 to 4 cm in diameter at rest and is naturally lined with moist mucosa. Certain areas, particularly on the anterior wall, are especially sensitive to touch and can create intense sensations when stimulated.

The G-Spot

Although its existence is debated in scientific circles, the so-called G-spot is located about 5 cm inside the vagina, on the anterior wall. It often has a slightly rougher texture; stimulating it may activate internal branches of the clitoral nerves and, in some cases, trigger female ejaculation.

Even without causing ejaculation (squirting), good manual stimulation can give a woman great pleasure and may lead to a satisfying orgasm.

Vaginal Lubrication

When aroused, women produce vaginal secretions (also called cyprine) that are rich in water, mildly acidic, and naturally lubricating. These fluids increase comfort and ease during manual stimulation.

As arousal increases, a woman’s genital area becomes engorged with blood—just like a man’s. It swells, opens slightly, and becomes more lubricated.

If you want to learn how to make her squirt, click here >>

Preparing for digital stimulation

• Hygiene: Clean hands, trimmed and smooth nails are essential to avoid discomfort or infections.

• Comfort: A relaxing environment with soft lighting, calming music, and a warm tone.

• Consent: Always ask. If unsure, say something like: “Does this feel good?” or “Would you like me to continue?”

Step-by-step fingering techniques

1. Start slowly
Avoid going directly inside. Begin by caressing the inner thighs, outer lips, and vulva gently. Teasing through underwear or light strokes can build anticipation.

2. Insertion and basic movement
Insert one or two fingers (palm facing up) about 4–5 cm in. Use a gentle “come here” motion to reach and stimulate the G-spot.

3. “Come here” technique
Bend your fingers upward toward the belly button. This is especially effective at stimulating internal pleasure zones like the G-spot.

4. Vary pressure and rhythm
Alternate between circular, slow, or steady movements. Change pace every 30 seconds unless you find a rhythm that brings her closer to orgasm — then stick with it.

5. Combine with clitoral stimulation
Use your other hand to stimulate the clitoris while fingering. This “dual stimulation” technique often enhances pleasure.

6. Shake technique
Light vertical shaking with your fingers inside can create different sensations and increase intensity.

Listening and adjusting

Ask questions such as:

• “Do you like this pace?”

• “Do you want more or less pressure?”

• “Want me to keep going here or try elsewhere?”

Also, observe her breathing, moans, or muscle reactions. If she tenses, slow down or pause. Always follow her pace and comfort.

Safety and care

• Protection: If there’s any STI risk, use a finger condom or glove. A woman wanted me to always finger her with gloves, I didn’t like it.

• Lubricant: Water-based lubricant helps avoid discomfort during dryness.

• Post-play: Wash hands and the genital area to prevent irritation.

 

Pleasure and benefits

• Can lead to clitoral or vaginal orgasms.

• May trigger female ejaculation (squirting) with proper G-spot stimulation.

• Encourages trust, intimacy, and communication.

• Some women find fingering even more satisfying than penetration.

 

Advanced options

• One finger inside, one on the clitoris (or even anal play, if consensual).

• Combine with toys or external pressure on the lower abdomen.

• Explore different depths and angles.

• A finger in the ass, a finger in the mouth…

Every woman is different — adapt, don’t assume.

Common myths

• “It’s dirty” → False. With proper hygiene, it’s intimate and clean.

• “If there’s no orgasm, it failed” → False. Pleasure doesn’t always mean climax.

• “All women like the same thing” → Also false. Technique matters, but so does listening. You have to adapt the techniques to the women you fuck. More or less pressure, more or less fingers, rythm…

 

How many fingers ?

Start with two, and see if she wants more or less.

Conclusion

Fingering, when done attentively and with respect, can be a deeply pleasurable and intimate act. The key is to listen, communicate, and stay attuned to the person you’re with. Whether your goal is to give joy, strengthen intimacy, or simply explore, the best tool is curiosity guided by care.

Fingering is not just a preliminary.

How do you make a woman squirt? How can you help her experience female ejaculation? And what exactly is female ejaculation?

Why Should We Care About Female Ejaculation?

Female ejaculation—or “squirting”—both fascinates and raises questions. Often misunderstood, misrepresented, or even caricatured in popular culture, it remains an integral part of female sexuality. More and more people are wondering: how do you make a woman squirt? Is it natural? Is it something all women can experience?

Exploring this phenomenon isn’t just about “doing more” in bed—it’s about getting to know the female body better, encouraging open and intimate communication, and exploring deeper, more authentic pleasure together.

Let’s make it clear right away: helping a woman squirt is not a performance, a duty, or a universal goal. Every body is different, and so is every sexual experience. This article is meant to support those who want to understand squirting—with kindness and no pressure—by offering a respectful, educational, and practical approach.

We’ll demystify the process, explore the ideal conditions, and explain the actual gestures and mindset needed to create a safe space for squirting. Because true pleasure is never just about technique—it’s about trust, release, adapted stimulation, and body awareness.

Mum and social worker the day, squirts at night!

What Is Squirting? Definitions and Clarifications

Before diving into how to make a woman squirt, we must understand what squirting is and how it differs from other forms of pleasure.

Squirting is the expulsion of clear, warm fluid through the urethra, usually during intense sexual stimulation—most often involving the G-spot. It can be a little or a lot, with or without orgasm. It’s not a systematic phenomenon and varies widely among women.

Squirting vs. Female Ejaculation

The terms “squirting” and “female ejaculation” are often confused. Here are the key differences:

• Female ejaculation refers to a small release of whitish liquid from the Skene’s glands, often described as the female prostate.
• Squirting involves a larger expulsion of clear, watery fluid from the urethra.

Both can happen together or separately. Scientific studies (though limited) confirm that squirting fluid may contain traces of urea but is not simply urine.

What matters most is understanding that squirting is a natural physiological response, one that depends not just on technique but also on a woman’s emotional and physical readiness.

So yes—your technique matters, but so does her psychological state.

Anatomy of Pleasure: Understanding the Female Body

To support female ejaculation, one must understand the zones involved in this response. This means knowing how the body works, and acting with precision, gentleness, and patience.

The G-Spot

The famous G-spot (or G-zone) is located about 3 to 5 cm inside the vagina, on the anterior wall (facing the belly). It’s not a tiny button, but a spongy area that swells with stimulation and becomes highly sensitive.

Proper stimulation—progressive, rhythmic, and attuned—can trigger powerful sensations that lead to orgasm or squirting.

Skene’s Glands

These small glands sit around the urethra and secrete the liquid involved in female ejaculation. They can release a small amount (classic ejaculation) or a larger volume (squirting).

Other Areas Not to Overlook

• The clitoris, though not directly involved in squirting, can amplify arousal and sensations.
• The perineum (the area between the vagina and anus) also plays a role in helping muscles relax, which is essential for letting go.

Having this anatomical understanding allows you to adapt your actions, avoid discomfort, and create pleasurable and respectful stimulation.

What Conditions Help a Woman Squirt?

Squirting isn’t guaranteed. It depends on several combined factors:

1. A Safe and Trusting Environment

A woman can’t let go unless she feels safe. Trust in her partner is crucial. She must be able to express herself freely, set boundaries, and never feel judged.

2. Physical and Emotional Release

Squirting is often blocked by a subconscious fear of urination. Many women tighten their pelvic muscles when pressure builds. It’s important to normalize the sensation and remind her there’s nothing shameful about it.

3. A Relaxed, Receptive Body

Ideal conditions include:

• Proper hydration
• Low stress
• No external distractions

Certain positions improve G-spot access—such as lying on the back, legs open or bent.

4. Gradual and Targeted Stimulation

Rushing can ruin everything. Instead:

• Start with foreplay, kissing, and deep relaxation
• Move to G-spot stimulation using fingers or curved toys
• Keep a steady, firm but gentle rhythm

Step-by-Step: How to Encourage Female Ejaculation

Here’s a detailed guide to support a woman through the squirting process:

Step 1: Set the Mood

• Choose a stress-free moment
• Lay down towels or absorbent pads
• Use soft lighting and soothing music

Step 2: Relax and Arouse

• Begin with kisses, caresses, breathing together
• Stimulate the clitoris gently to awaken pleasure
• Massage the lower belly, inner thighs, and perineum

Step 3: Access the G-Spot

• Insert one or two fingers, palm facing up
• Use a “come here” motion
• Slowly increase pressure
• Pay close attention to her reactions

Step 4: Maintain the Rhythm

When she’s close to squirting, she may feel:

• A strong urge to pee
• A wave of internal heat
• A tension in her abdomen or pelvis

Do not stop unless she asks. Encourage her to breathe and, if she wants, gently push with her pelvic muscles.

Step 5: Support the Release

The moment of squirting can be:

• Noisy or quiet
• Energetic or soft
• With or without orgasm

Don’t interrupt the moment. Stay present, tender, and emotionally available as she comes down from the peak.

(If you’re a woman wanting to learn how to squirt solo, click here >>)

What a Woman Feels When She Squirts

Sensations differ, but often include:

• An intense emotional release, like an adrenaline rush
• Warmth, relaxation, and euphoria
• Laughter, tears, or quietness
• Mild muscular fatigue, like post-exercise

Some women feel this as deeply emotional, others as purely physical. In either case, respecting her personal experience is essential.

Don’t treat her like a sideshow—it can create emotional blocks.

As for what a man might feel when he helps his partner squirt? A deep sense of pride and satisfaction in knowing he gave her that experience.

And yes—squirting women are often multi-orgasmic.

What You Should Absolutely Avoid

• Pushing if she’s not into it—consent comes first
• Treating squirting like a performance goal
• Laughing or reacting awkwardly—it can cause lasting shame
• Using rough or painful movements—always be gentle

This is not about “making her squirt at all costs,” but inviting a fun, pressure-free discovery.

Busting the Myths

• “It’s urine” → False. It’s not pure urine—it’s different.
• “No squirting = no pleasure” → False. Completely untrue.
• “A real woman squirts” → Wrong. That’s toxic pressure.
• Squirting is natural, but not mandatory.
• Every woman’s body is unique.

The Partner’s Role: Kindness, Listening, and Patience

The partner’s job is key:

• Create a pressure-free zone
• Observe and respond to her cues
• Let go of expectations
• Accept that it won’t always happen—and that’s okay

Good sex is based on trust, authenticity, and adaptability—not fixed results.

Final Thoughts: Respect Over Results

Helping a woman squirt is possible—but it should never become a rule or a must-do. It’s an intimate, emotional, personal part of sexuality.

With active listening, patience, respect for rhythm, and open communication, you can create the right space for it to happen. But the real beauty is in the journey itself: discovering her body, sharing joy, and deepening your connection.

Once again—it depends greatly on the woman. As men, our role is to reassure, encourage, and stimulate correctly. The rest is up to her.

And yes—a woman can train herself to squirt, even solo, through masturbation. In fact, most women discover this capacity later in life.

 

Your dating coach,

Fabrice Julien

How can you learn to squirt? How does a woman ejaculate? Because yes, a woman can become a “squirter.”

Female ejaculation, also called “squirting,” remains a fascinating subject—often surrounded by mystery, myths, and taboos. Yet more and more women are seeking to understand this phenomenon and experience it through personal exploration, self-awareness, and pleasure.

In this comprehensive article, we’ll break down what female ejaculation really is, how it works, what it feels like, and how to encourage its occurrence. All of this will be approached without pressure or judgment, with kindness and deep respect for each body.

We’ll answer most questions—including: can you become a squirter?

What Is Female Ejaculation?

Female ejaculation refers to the expulsion of fluid from the urethra during an orgasm or intense stimulation, generally focused around the G-spot. However, it’s also possible to squirt through clitoral masturbation. The phenomenon may or may not be accompanied by orgasm, and it’s often described as an intense, liberating, and deeply emotional experience.

Female Ejaculation vs. Squirting: What’s the Difference?

There are two often-confused types of female fluid release:

• True female ejaculation: a small amount of whitish fluid secreted by the Skene’s glands, located near the urethra. It’s more discreet—and it’s not urine.
• Squirting: a larger expulsion of clear fluid, sometimes spectacular, also released through the urethra.

Both are completely natural and not mutually exclusive. Some women may experience one, the other, both, or neither—without that affecting their sexual fulfillment in any way.

Where Does the Fluid Come From? Is It Urine?

This is a frequent and legitimate question: is it urine or not?

Studies show that fluid released during squirting may contain traces of urea and creatinine (substances found in urine), but it is mostly made up of water. It’s believed to come from the paraurethral glands, also called Skene’s glands, often thought to be the female equivalent of the prostate.

So no—it’s not pure urine, even though it travels through the urethra and may mix slightly. Women’s bodies react differently, and this process is still not fully understood. What is certain is that it’s not an accident or a loss of control, but a natural physiological mechanism.

The Anatomy of Pleasure: Understanding the Body to Better Explore It

To encourage female ejaculation, it’s essential to know the body well—especially the G-spot, which is often misunderstood.

The G-Spot: A Key Zone

The G-spot isn’t a magical button—it’s a spongy area located on the anterior vaginal wall, about 3 to 5 cm inside. It is rich in nerve endings and, when stimulated, it can swell and produce deep pleasure, sometimes triggering ejaculation.

The Skene’s Glands

Located around the urethra, these glands secrete the fluid associated with female ejaculation. While little-known, they play a central role in the squirting process.

What Does It Feel Like to Squirt?

Sensations vary widely from one woman to another. Some describe it as a wave of intense warmth, a powerful peak of pleasure, or a deeply physical and emotional release.

Others say they feel like they need to urinate just before it happens—sometimes causing embarrassment or hesitation. In fact, that sensation often signals the body is ready to release fluid.

Many women describe it as a state of total surrender, even a mild trance, with orgasms deeper than clitoral ones. Some don’t experience a traditional orgasm but instead a strong emotional release, extreme relaxation, or even… tears.

In short, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to experience female ejaculation. It’s a unique and personal event for each woman.

Most women I’ve spoken with say they feel more complete, deeper orgasms after learning to squirt. Many also say they became multi-orgasmic through the experience.

(Oh—and if you’re a man and want to learn how to help your partner squirt, click here >>)

Can All Women Ejaculate?

The answer is: maybe. All women share similar anatomy, but that doesn’t guarantee a squirting experience. Many factors influence this ability:

• Mental state (relaxation, trust, emotional letting go)
• Psychological blocks (fear of peeing, shame, tension)
• Type of stimulation
• Past sexual experiences
• Whether or not she has Skene’s glands (most women—about 99%—do)

Some women may never experience it, and that’s totally okay—even if it feels disappointing. It’s not a goal, but a possibility to explore.

The real frustration happens when a woman wants to experience it but can’t—either due to inadequate stimulation from a partner, or because she struggles to fully let go.

Many women say becoming a “fountain” revolutionized their sex life. But there’s absolutely no obligation.

How to Encourage Female Ejaculation: Practical Tips

Here are several steps and tips to create the right conditions:

1. Create a Safe, Relaxing Environment

• Quiet, stress-free surroundings
• Alone or with a trusted partner
• Soft music, dim lights, absorbent sheets if needed

2. Hydrate and Prepare Mentally

• Drink water before exploration (the fluid is mostly water)
• Accept the idea that the feeling of “needing to pee” is normal
• Go to the bathroom beforehand to reassure yourself and avoid confusion

3. Use Lubricant

Even if natural lubrication is enough, a water-based lubricant can make stimulation smoother and more comfortable.

4. Gently Stimulate the G-Spot

• Insert one or two fingers, curled upward (toward the pubic bone)
• Use a “come here” or circular motion
• Gradually increase pressure—never be rough
• Combine with clitoral stimulation if desired

Some women also use tools like G-spot vibrators or curved stimulators to target the area better.

5. Breathe Deeply and Let Go

Breathing is a powerful ally. Deep inhalations and slow exhalations help relax the pelvic floor and heighten sensations.

Some women will find it easier than others to reach squirting. They may have a breakthrough one day—and then find it easier in the future, especially with a partner. That’s why it can help to practice solo first through mindful masturbation.

Exploring It as a Couple

• Communicate openly: share your desires and fears
• Be patient and respectful—it can take time
• Try positions that facilitate access: lying on the back with knees bent, or doggy style with stimulation from behind
• Use fingers or toys while carefully watching your partner’s reactions

The partner’s role is to create emotional safety, enabling surrender. A good partner will not only stimulate well, but make sure you feel at ease, unjudged, and confident. Support and encouragement are key.

Common Mental Blocks

• Fear of losing control
• Shame about possibly urinating
• Limiting beliefs (“It’s not clean,” “It’s not feminine”)

It’s essential to break these taboos. Female ejaculation is not dirty, not fake, and not shameful. It’s a real, natural, and variable phenomenon.

The Benefits of Squirting

• Discovering new zones of pleasure
• Deepened body awareness
• Intense emotional and sensory release
• Stronger connection with a partner
• Endorphin boost and muscular relaxation

Some women even report reduced menstrual tension or pain thanks to this type of pelvic stimulation.

Also, your boyfriend may feel proud to be the one who helped you squirt—especially if he’s the first. Many men enjoy feeling sexually special.

It’s Not a Performance, It’s an Option

It’s crucial to remember: squirting is not something to achieve at all costs. It doesn’t make a woman “better in bed” or make sex more “successful.” Female pleasure includes clitoral, vaginal, emotional, mental stimulation—and more.

To become a better lover, you can also explore things like expressing yourself more freely, giving better oral sex, moving better during intimacy…

Actually, it’s a bit like men: they can ejaculate, have dry orgasms, ejaculate without real pleasure, etc. It’s the same for women. You can enjoy sex with or without squirting. We’re not so different after all!

Body exploration should always be a personal choice, guided by curiosity, kindness, and a desire for deeper self-knowledge.

Final Thoughts

Female ejaculation—whether subtle or abundant—is a natural, complex, and beautiful phenomenon. It’s neither mandatory nor reserved for a select few. With gentleness, listening, and a bit of curiosity, it is possible to experience it… or not.

The essential thing remains the same: feeling free in your body, your pleasure, and your sexuality.

And yes, I encourage you to explore it—for your own sexual growth, so you won’t one day look back with regret.

 

Your dating coach,

Fabrice Julien