Category: Couple

You may be surprised to find that being a perfect woman, in my opinion, do not depends solely on the physical appearance, far from it… It come into account of course, but don’t be hypocritical, I can not imagine Gerard Jugnot be considered as the perfect man neither.

The perfect woman ! Ah la la, big subject that we are about to tackle! But before you begin your reading, know that a few months ago, I published a humorous article on this topic. I had also developed a list of 20 crippling details in a girl. I invite you to go read these articles, because I find them very funny.

 

Does the perfect woman exist?

First of all, perfection does not exist! Take this idea off your head!

So, a perfect woman for everyone, it does not exist either… on the other hand, a woman who fits you perfectly, it may exist, yes.

But that does not mean that she would be universally perfect.

 

What criteria can be decreed that a woman is perfect for you?

She’s nice

It is the basis of everything to build serenely but you absolutely need a nice woman.

It is better a woman a little less beautiful than another but who is charitable.

With her, you can be yourself

Because we sometimes need to let go and you do not want to be totally castrated by your girlfriend (that would be a shame), you absolutely need a girl who allows you to be yourself.

For example, you can burp without she pisses you off or reframes you in the privacy. In public, it’s something else: it’s up to you not to make her uncomfortable anyway…

She is in love with you while having a life next door

She must be happy alone to be able to truly love you. Otherwise, what she likes is probably not being alone thanks to you and not really you.

Go, confess, a chick that would choke you, you would find it unhealthy, right ?

So, a good selection criterion is to see if she has friends, real ones. Does she also have passions? Does she need to always leave the TV on in the background to feel good ?

The tortured girls are boring, seriously, I advise you to flee if you fall on a girl with problems or an emotional pit (It’s better a girl at least a bit confident, a bit mature).

She does what she says and says what she does

A brave girl, open-minded, sensitive to questioning and fundamentally honest, it does not run the streets.

If you found one, bravo!

In truth, most people never do what they say. For example, there are many who dream of traveling or writing a book but who always postpone it. There is also the problem of those who never say what they do: people who stab in the back, we cannot trust them…

So if your girl fits this description, you probably do not have a perfect wife for you… unless you’re a first time fucker, but that’s all about you!

She is beautiful in nature

You like her naked and without makeup.

Because yeah, being pretty with a nice dress and a ton of makeup is easy. But naked and without makeup, that’s another story.

She feels good naturally

You love her sweat when you fuck her and she doesn’t strink!

She’s healthy !

You have the same lifestyle

She eats much like you, has the same opinion as you about sports, kids (she has a developed maternal instinct), religion etc. Your working hours must also be compatible.

Or she pulls you up: requires you to eat healthy, move your ass, make you want to become virtuous, etc.

She has tastes and opinions

She thinks for herself, she does not stupidly repeat the ideas heard on TV or that she takes from her parents.

She has convictions, knows how to justify them clearly and defends them. She is open to counter-argumentation. She is not bounded nor conditioned…

She pulls you up

A girl who can teach you things in certain domains, it’s priceless!

A girl of the same social level as you, even a slightly higher level, it would be the best!

She knows how to give without counting

In life, sometimes you have to give without counting. A girl who would spend her time counting points, it would be problematic.

Same thing with money, you would not want a sting, anyway?

She knows how to compromise

Because we do not know how to be perfectly in agreement all the time, each of you must be able to make concessions. Not only you!

She has a sense of honor

This woman has a sense of honor, an ethic, who is not ready for anything for money or for celebrity.

She is not superficial

A perfect woman must love you for you, not for your money, your title or anything.

A girl who would openly select you on the criterion “what do you do for a living? » should probably be avoided.

Unless you are completely stupid or superficial.

She is financially responsible

In the same logic, she must assume herself financially. We are no longer in the 60s.

She is feminine

She takes care of her and has a certain grace.

She is positive

Because life can be hard and you do not need to get sunk!

She likes to fuck

Especially on all fours… and blows you like a goddess! Sexually and otherwise, you never get bored.

Ideally, she is a feminist and has a good relationship to sex but is not feminazie with stupid ideas in mind !

She is faithful

Except possibly in swinger club.

 

And you, what do you think about a hypothetical perfect woman ?

 

How to find a perfect woman on dating sites and apps?

Personally, I have some criteria on which I base myself to know if I will or not approach this or that girl on the sites and dating apps.

I develop these 10 details in this article.

See you soon and may the God of seduction be with you!

First, what is affective dependence?

Definition

Emotional addiction is dependence on a person… most often to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Like addiction to a psychotropic substance, emotional dependence must be taken care of because it puts the victim into a state of stress that mixes jealousy, possessiveness, frustration, chronic dissatisfaction and the over-sized need for the other.

People who are victims of emotional dependence always and too much doubt the feelings of their guy or their girlfriend… it is the kind of person constantly asking for proofs of love and to stifle the other.

Symptoms

Symptoms of emotional dependence include mood swings, nervous attacks, insomnia, etc. This can go very far! Sometimes the person who is emotionally addicted forbids his or her partner from visiting family, friends, co-workers, etc.

In the most extreme cases (as can sometimes be seen in Confessions intimes), the jealous person even forbids his or her lover to go out and buy bread alone. It goes too far!

I am for independence in the couple because a couple is not a unit but the meeting of two wills not in a merger but in a union… As a result, each member should be able to start his or her own projects, make decisions alone(e), enjoying being alone sometimes, etc.

Danger

Emotional dependence in a couple can be very difficult to live if it lasts and can therefore lead to depression or a broken relationship. It is a matter of usury. Apart from the fact that the two protagonists have a very low level of self-confidence, it is very hard to tolerate the emotional dependence of the other during a whole life.

I advise you to dig the question to see if your spouse (if he is the emotional dependent) is dependant all the time he is in a relationship or if it is a special treatment for you. If he does the same with everyone, it is not that you are exceptional in his eyes, it is that he or she is sick.

Origin

We often find the source of an affective dependence in the past of the person who is the victim. This may come from his or her relationship with his/her parents: often it comes from having experienced a fear of abandonment, a betrayal or something like that.

It can also come from past romantic relationships: often the person came out with a furious madwoman or with a narcissistic perverse who traumatized her, and so on.

Solutions to live a stable love story

You have to gain self-confidence to gain emotional autonomy. For this, a personal development work can be very effective.

You will have to stop doubting your qualities, stop thinking that you are not up to your partner, etc. You have to get these ideas out of the head and the fingers of your ass at the same time! The best way to achieve this goal is to do some work on yourself to have a rich and fulfilling personal life.

Whether you want to get your ex back, improve your life as a couple or find someone else, a work to become a better version of yourself will help you and you will not regret it. But be careful, we do not cure a love addiction in a few days… this requires a hard work, on yourself, that takes time. That said, it is an investment that seems to me very important for the rest of your life.

Here are some ways to improve your lifestyle:
– do a lot of sports;
– improve your diet to improve your fitness and feel better;
– take care of yourself, dress well;
– find a passion in life;
– have a few close relatives;
– define personal and professional goals.

To be differentiated from the amorous obsession

Unless you have a chance to gather more accurate and usable information, or if you are not in good shape, you have nothing to gain by delaying the encounter and attempting to seduce a desired person.

Rakes are rarely the problem. On the other hand, disappointment after a long uncertain wait is truly destructive… What then? Getting back in the saddle, of course.

“I am very sad… my heart is in trouble… I loved this girl, I was thinking of her every day! I wanted to be with her, to hang out with her… but after our first date, she preferred to tell me, kindly by mail, that she did not want to go further with me !! ??? What did I do? Why do not she likes me ? It’s hard to get refused by a girl you love, it hurts in my heart…”

In fact, the girl was very nice to tell this guy what she thought rather than leaving him in ignorance by ease until he gets tired… Uncertainty is even worse than failure… believe me !

Who knows the reasons for this failure? Not the right place? Not the right way? Too many people aware?

The only valid thing to do is to approach a woman and try. Without trying to complicate everything. It is through this attitude that we will all find THE one, one of these days.

And for now? This guy suffers, he had so much bet on this girl … THE ONLY RIGHT THING THAT HE CAN DO now is to go out and empty his mind with his friends and meet other women.

Of course, some will advise him to write letters of love with his blood, to make suicide attempts or to scream naked under the window of the girl, but it is a very bad idea, in practice.

It is better to move on, even if the ego does not like this idea.

Next time, this guy will not wait several weeks before approaching or showing his interest… and one of the following times he will meet a person who will be delighted by his attentions. This misadventure was only a step towards his success. But he does not have the necessary distance to see it.

In fact, it is not the girl who makes him suffer, we must not blame her. He suffers from the love obsession he has imposed to himself by imagining what it would have been like if…

If you are in a similar case, do not depress in your corner. You have to get back into the saddle and in a while, like this guy, you will not feel any pain and will be able to use this rejection as a useful experience.

In the community of seduction, this pseudo-loving state is called the “One It Is” (the One and Only). It is a self-inflicted love obsession which leads one to think that only the coveted girl can give meaning to the void of his life, etc.

When we advise beginners to approach right away, or as quickly as possible, it is also to avoid getting into this kind of pitiful state…

It is a sort of pathology of feelings. Not only does it make you sick, but it usually makes impossible a vaguely effective approach to seduction.

I am going to give you a confidence that hurts: hardly anyone likes ashore people. And those who love them are often even more worrisome than others (Savior’s syndrome, manipulators, followers of the race to the bottom who will resent you to death if you start to succeed one day…)

Unfortunately, it’s almost mathematical: feeding a love obsession for a girl means losing ground and missing the target while failure is obviously not an option you want to consider. Whether we like it or not, finding and seducing the woman of your dreams requires knowing how to keep your cool : one must learn how to think clearly. But obviously, this is not enough: to lucidity, we must combine the safety of gestures.

Jealousy can be summed up in negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, anger, shame and anxiety about an anticipated loss. There are several types of jealousy, but the form that interests us in this article is the one related to reproduction, which ensures the durability and stability of unions, but also protection and subsistence to the offspring.

Some say that jealousy is a proof of love, others of a lack of confidence. Some assume it totally while others are ashamed. To put it another way, this story of jealousy is misunderstood by the majority of people and can give rise to situations with no way out « You are too needy, you are too jealous, I dump you / If you are not jealous, it’s because you do not love me, I dump you. » Most guys struggle to be faithful but are still jealous. There are even those who are jealous during a first date if their target tells them that she also speaks with other guys on the dating site. Finally, some have known each other for 10 days, have kissed 3 times and are jealous and possessive as if their life depended on it. That’s where there’s a problem.

Where does jealousy come from?

For men, jealousy prevents him from spending energy and risking his life to feed children who might not be his own. It must be known that almost 10% of children do not have as biological father the one who breeds them. For the woman, being jealous assures her children to benefit from the entire product of their father’s hunt – and to don’t share with children that he would have had with other women. Jealousy therefore increases the chances of survival of the offspring. In short, it is because our most jealous ancestors have most transmitted their genes that this emotion still exists today. Moreover, it has been proven that couples with a certain degree of jealousy are the ones that last the most over the long-term.

It seems that amorous jealousy cannot happen if the partners have a relationship of total confidence (but this notion remains subjective for the jealous individual, according to his previous traumas, etc.) Jealousy is all the more important as the jealous individual has the feeling that his psychological balance rests on the fact of being linked to the desired person: jealousy is therefore an attachment problem peculiar to the jealous who has a need to be reassured.

Some also say that jealousy is linked to the notion of self-confidence. The less one has self-confidence and the more one is easily jealous, because we think that our girlfriend can go with the other (basically, the first come may be better than us). If you want to play the alpha male, then silence your jealousy when it is disproportionate. For example, assholes have already assaulted me just because I spoke innocently to their chick (this fear of losing their girlfriend makes some guys paranoid).

Jealousy is the consequence of the fear of losing the loved one or the exclusiveness of her love – a feeling that is more often based on the imagination than on facts. Consequently, jealousy can irrationally and uncontrollably self-sustain itself.

By the way, I have a question. If your girlfriend was cheating on you, who would you want to punish ? The guy who did nothing but following his instinct or your girlfriend who knew exactly what she was doing?

Is jealousy universal?

Similar facts provoke different reactions depending on the country: for example, a Hungarian can make fun of seeing his partner flirting with another guy while a Yugoslav cannot. Paradoxically, the latter will give less importance to some extra-conjugal kisses while the Hungarian will see an unforgivable affront there. Jealousy is therefore more cultural than biological.

In other cultures that are foreign to us: women are polygamous and polyandry is accepted, as in the case of the Mosuo tribes in China and the Yanomami in Amazonia. And jealousy there is non-existent (or very badly perceived because it would mean criticizing their mode of operation: the social pressure is reversed there compared to us).

Even more “improbable”: in some tribes, the father is absent from the life of the child. He just serves to put the woman pregnant. This is the case among the Trobiandese (in Oceania) where, once born, the child is raised by his mother and his maternal uncle. Their entire sexual life is very different from the one we know in the West.

There is also the case of polyamourists, it is not jokes, you should not blame them it’s just the way it is. Mystery in The Game is defined as such. It’s very interesting to know that all this exists, it allows to step back. It also makes it possible to conceive that a nymphomaniac can sincerely love her boyfriend but cheating on him abundantly!

Differences between men and women

Apparently, the perception of jealousy differs by gender. Women are afraid that their spouses will have feelings for another (they forgive more easily if he fucks a girl) while men are more afraid that their wife sleep with another (they forgive more easily that their girlfriend has affinities with a guy at her office if she doesn’t sleep with).

Jealousy as a seduction technique

Jealousy can be a strategy to make a target realize that she likes you. But it is a maneuver to be carried out with caution: to make a girl jealous, it must be suggested and not ostentatious.

The drifts of jealousy

It is quite human to be jealous. However, from a certain threshold, this behavior can become pathological. Here are the features:
– Surveillance: the jealous one forbids the other to leave unaccompanied. Spy on his emails and SMS…
– Restriction of contacts: prohibition of going out, telephone and a veil must be worn in case of going out.
– Devaluation: the “victim” is kept against her will in her role as spouse and constantly receives reproaches, criticisms, etc.
– Possible punishment of adultery (or a suspicion of adultery): the jealous can go so far as to kill his (or her) partner or the lover/the mistress.

It is necessary to realize that jealousy is evoked in more than 50% of cases of spousal violence: it is also at the origin of various abuses (insults, harassment, crimes of passion, etc.) All this coming sometimes from people who appeared as “normal” and “well-balanced” to their neighbors.

The solutions ?

Jealousy is a feeling of exclusivity that can deprive the partner of freedom and put the couple in danger because of neediness. I’ve even seen chicks jealous of the buddies of their guy. In general, when it starts like that, it’s not promising!

To end up on something more cheerful, here are some tips to manage your jealousy:
– Recognize your jealousy, rather than denying it or feeling ashamed of it. Only by recognizing it can you manage it. Then, as explained above, it’s in your genes! (But it is not a reason to do nothing against that).
– Express your jealousy instead of doing everything to hide it. Indeed, doing this allows one to show to the other that she is attached to him (which is rather a good thing when one knows that some are trying to provoke the jealousy of their partner – in this case it is useless to establish a balance of power), warn him of what makes you suffer and better control yourself because, by formulating it, you take some steps back.
– Think about your suspicion, do not accuse the other of being the only guilty. Two situations: if you are not usually jealous, but you are with that person, so you have become, ask yourself if this person is not consciously trying to make you jealous (and, in this case, flee or talk it over !). On the other hand, if it is in your nature to be jealous, ask yourself the following questions: have I been traumatized by a previous infidelity? (If so, your current partner can do nothing about it and ask yourself if you are not involved for anything in this infidelity), do I feel I’m not interesting enough to keep someone ? (Self-esteem plays an important role in jealousy and if you suffer from a feeling of inferiority, talking with a shrink might help you), do I have a bad opinion of the fidelity or of the opposite sex… and, if so, where does it come from?
– Let the other breath and do not fall into systematic suspicion. Imagine yourself in the shoes of the other: how does he/she live your suspicions, your surveillance and your prohibitions. In addition, preventing the other from breathing is the best way for it to happen what you dread!

Opening

In the literature, a study of jealousy is proposed in Un amour de Swann (Marcel Proust.)

PS : You should not be jealous to make a fivesome with four girls !