How to last longer in bed? How to last longer during sex? Discover this complete guide to lasting longer with a woman. We’ll talk about various ejaculation issues, and how to take control.
Introduction
I imagine you’re looking for a method that’s natural, respectful, and satisfying?
Lasting longer in bed is absolutely possible — without medication (Viagra, Cialis), without gimmicks, just with the right techniques, better physical and mental preparation, and open communication with your partner. This complete guide will help you understand why you ejaculate quickly, how to regain control of your body, and most importantly, how to become a more confident and enduring lover.
Quick reminder: to be considered “good in bed” by most women, you generally need to last at least 10 minutes of active sexual intercourse. That gives time for a few positions. It’s not about records — it’s about the quality of the shared experience. Premature ejaculation can be a real handicap.
Why Some Men Ejaculate Too Quickly
The most common cause is premature ejaculation, a frequent issue that can affect any man, at any age. It’s often related to:
- Hypersensitivity of the glans
- Lack of muscular control (pelvic floor, abs)
- Habits of fast masturbation (in secret, under stress)
- Stress or performance anxiety (very common!)
- Poor understanding of one’s body and arousal threshold
- Neurological or hormonal factors (less common)
In any case, it’s not a life sentence. Control can be learned. And you’re on the right page to improve.
By the way, it’s not just premature ejaculation that’s problematic. Rapid ejaculation — meaning ejaculation before both partners are ready — is also an issue. Especially if it’s combined with difficulty getting hard again…
Check out this article on how to get better erections >>
Immediate Techniques to Delay Ejaculation
These methods can be used tonight (even if you’re with a bombshell):
Stop-Start Method (Edging)
This technique involves stopping all stimulation (masturbation or penetration) just before orgasm, waiting until the urge subsides, and then resuming.
Stimulate her with something else — like oral sex — while you cool down.
➡️ Use this multiple times during one session. It’s a powerful training method to help you understand and control your arousal threshold.
Best practiced during mindful solo masturbation sessions.
Stop-Squeeze Method
When arousal is too high, stop and gently squeeze the base of the penis or frenulum for 5 to 10 seconds. This reduces stimulation and delays ejaculation.
➡️ Can be done solo or with your partner during sex.
This method exists, but I don’t personally recommend it often.
Think About Something Else (Even Your Grandma)
It sounds silly, but mentally detaching yourself from intense arousal can help. Think of neutral or unsexy things (your grandma, your taxes, tonight’s dinner) to defuse the moment.
Once the peak has passed, you’ll often find you can last quite a bit longer. Arousal comes in waves — the goal is to surf them.
Pinch Your Ear or Change Position
A small physical cue can break the automatic cycle of arousal. Pinching your ear, biting your lip, or switching positions can buy you time.
Some men even say out loud, “I’m about to cum” — and that expression alone can bring relief and buy them more time.
Use Thicker Condoms or Desensitizing Sprays
Condoms with a numbing effect or sprays containing lidocaine/prilocaine can reduce sensitivity. It can help temporarily, but don’t overuse them — it may affect pleasure or your erection quality.
Ejaculatory Control and Advanced Techniques
Conscious Breathing
This is one of the most effective tools. Slowing your breathing lowers your heart rate, calms your nervous system, and enhances control. Inhale through your nose for 3 seconds, exhale slowly for 5. Sync your breath with your movements.
➡️ The closer you get to orgasm, the faster your body wants to go. Breathing calms that impulse.
Pelvic Floor Mastery (Kegels)
Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles that help control ejaculation. They also lead to harder and longer-lasting erections.
- Contract the muscles you’d use to stop peeing
- Hold for 5 seconds, release for 5 seconds
- Do 3 sets of 10 contractions per day
Some experts suggest avoiding stopping your pee mid-stream due to inflammation risk. But you can train your pelvic muscles through focus alone — no bathroom needed.
I teach these in-depth in my Sex Tao training course >>
Sex Tao (Taoist Sexual Practice)
Sex Tao is an ancient Chinese practice focused on circulating sexual energy (Chi) throughout the body. The goal is to separate orgasm from ejaculation and even experience multiple orgasms without releasing.
It involves:
- Deep meditation
- Targeted muscular contractions
- Highly controlled breathing
- Deep focus on internal sensations
Medium and Long-Term Exercises
Cardio and General Endurance
Your body is your vehicle. The fitter you are, the better you perform sexually. Cardio (running, rowing, cycling, HIIT) improves blood flow, stamina, and reduces stress.
➡️ Aim for 3 sessions per week, 30 minutes each.
Functional Strength Training and Core Work
A solid core is essential for thrusting, movement control, and sexual stamina.
Try planks, bridges, lunges, squats, and slow push-ups.
Fast ejaculation may also signal your body wanting to “end the effort” quickly. But a stronger body is more resilient.
Yoga and Mobility
Yoga enhances breathing, body awareness, flexibility, and mental grounding. It significantly reduces anxiety. Poses like Cobra, Child’s Pose, and Warrior II are especially helpful for sexual energy.
➡️ Some yogis claim they can make love for over an hour without ejaculating.
And yes — the best way to practice is mindful solo masturbation. Avoid conditioning yourself to “finish fast” with porn.
Lifestyle and Nutrition
Your sex life reflects your overall lifestyle.
- 🍎 Eat an anti-inflammatory diet: berries, leafy greens, omega-3-rich foods
- ❌ Avoid processed sugar, junk food, and excess caffeine
- 🚬 Quit smoking, cut back on alcohol and drugs: all hurt your control and erection quality
- 💤 Sleep well: testosterone is produced during deep sleep
- 💧 Stay hydrated: good hydration supports circulation and sexual energy
Communication and Mindset
Don’t Make Performance the Goal
Focusing on “lasting as long as possible” can increase pressure. Focus instead on shared pleasure, connection, and intimacy. Talk to your partner about what you’re trying — being aligned will relax you and help you last naturally.
Ditch Porn
Porn creates unrealistic expectations and bad habits (fast, intense solo sessions). Reconnect with reality — your body, your breath, your partner.
Sex Therapy
A sex therapist can help uncover blocks, provide guided exercises, and reduce performance anxiety. It’s not a weakness — it’s smart.
Conclusion
Lasting longer in bed is a mix of immediate techniques, physical training, mental awareness, and lifestyle upgrades. It’s not something you’re born with — it’s something you learn.
The combo of breathing + Kegels + Sex Tao + cardio + communication is unbeatable.
➡️ And remember: make 10 minutes your baseline. Not to impress, but to give your partner a true shared experience.
FAQ: Lasting Longer in Bed
What’s the average duration of sex?
Between 5 and 6 minutes for most men. But with focused training, 15–20 minutes becomes very doable — enough for at least 3 positions. Don’t start with what excites you the most (often doggy style).
Does Sex Tao really work?
Yes, it’s a proven practice in Eastern traditions. But it requires discipline, regularity, and a deep connection with your body. It’s not for everyone — but it works.
Can I train alone to last longer?
Absolutely. Kegels, edging, mindful breathing, and Tao practice are all trainable solo. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll be with a partner.
Should I avoid ejaculation altogether?
No. The idea is to choose when you ejaculate, not to suppress it entirely. Some days you’ll last 20 minutes, others 7 — the key is having control.
How long until I see results?
With consistent practice, you’ll likely see progress within 2–3 weeks. In 2–3 months, your sex life can transform completely.
Your sex coach,
Fabrice Julien