The scenario of today is the following one: you like THIS girl you, you maintain more or less cordial relations with her… but flirtless. Nevertheless, deep in your heart, you see her as the ideal girlfriend, and all your thoughts are for her. You forbid for a long time to reveal your interest to don’t risk to ruin THIS friendship you consider as « better than nothing » or worst as « a passage obliged before dating her ». Then, one day, you decide to admit her your love, to declare your flame, etc. It is the moment of truth: double or quits. She wants or does not want. You do not really know what else to do to find some peace of mind. Expressing your feeling relieves, certainly, but does not work very often. This story is classic to a T, moreover, we almost all lived it someday.
Fuck. It is logical that it does not work. A little of common sense gad: I complete my STATEMENT of taxes, I ADMIT that it is me who broke the vase of the lounge, I CONFESS to the priest that I have already stolen doughnuts in a department store. But passion speaks another language and refuses absolutely to be related to a guilty behavior (it is already too much).
In our crap cultures, we like confessing, whether it is in the church or at a shrink. Because we cannot confess without a third party who is going to cut to punish or console, etc.. The one with whom we confess thus has an enormous power over us and at the same time, we break free of a weight, on one hand of a responsibility, of a secret. First step towards the redemption. Moreover, the more it is difficult to admit, the more confessions are sincere.
It is a little bit the same thing when we admit our impure desire to the person who wants only cordial relationships or friendships. Although we say it, we always hope for a miracle in fact « me too I love you. Let’s make love. » But it happens only very rarely:
1) Because somebody who does not feel at ease with his own desires and his sexuality to the point to admit them as faults is not attractive.
2) Because the relation of judgment and the fact of putting the power in the hands of other one is contrary to a fusional relation. Anything but attractive.
3) Because the girls want that a game is established, they want to be seduced before we impose on them to answer by « yes » or « no » (I sometimes do it in clubs when I approach all the cute girls in a raw by asking them if that would please them to kiss me but it is for fun and I rarely sleep with them after). The confession is often a shout of the heart, an expression of despair, a kind of ultimatum: we feel stuck, we don’t know what to do … It is not attractive. The only bearable shout it is the one that a girl emits before coming 😉
Friendzone : In summary, it is the category in which the girls tidy up the men they consider as good friends/confidants but they will never fuck. Sometimes it is even because they become confidants that they do not anymore want to date them. Certainly, exceptions always exist, but are not common. Then, you absolutely have to avoid falling in it because going out of it is really very difficult and it is often maybe easier to start all over again with another one (but often we are obsessed by this one thus we do not want and it is the beginning of the end of it all). What shows obviously, moreover, that it is the women who have the power in seduction it is that I know almost no girl in the friendzone whereas I know a lot of guys who are in it and stay there.
If you enter the plan « supressed wish/friendzone », start by accepting your feelings, your NATURAL desire for the other sex. It is not a fault finding a friend sexy and there is nothing shameful in the fact that she affects you in a certain way (it is even very normal). If you begin to try to hide it or whatever, on the contrary, the relation will become unhealthy. Express rather your attraction during a more playful, more serene, healthier, more pleasant dialogue… I’m talking about the FLIRTATION.
If you think that this article concerns you, then it is necessary to change your whole mindset. Read The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations.
Welcome into the world of the Game.