Because there are many different methods of seduction, and sometimes complementary . Because we cannot become a PUA without having heard, at least, of the 3 main ones (the fast seduction which is the one I practice in my diary, the seduction through communication like Ross Jeffries and the Mystery Method). Because my “feeling” method does not correspond to the needs of everybody, some needing to follow “rules”. I am thus going to speak to you about the approach and about its “rules” (that I do not like respecting but it is necessary to know that they exist) established by the community of the seduction.
Definitions :
Direct approach: We assume directly our interest for the target.
Indirect approach: We do not assume directly our interest for the target.
Passive seduction: the way you seduce with your appearance.
Active seduction: what you are doing in an aware way to seduce.
The objective :
The objective is to conclude, not to pick up just for the act of picking up.
Maximize your chances :
Pick up everywhere: in the street, in the subway, in nightclub, on the Internet, at the office, in the plane, on the beach…
You can date every kind of women of any origins (according to your tastes): students, working, who live with their parents or alone, idealists, venal, adorable, selfish, independents, solitary persons, sociable and especially in every kind of context. However, be careful, their intellectual level can influence the interaction.
The plan of classic trying to pick up (inspired by the Mystery method)
The initiation of the rapport (pre-required) :
During a meeting it is the woman who introduce the communication in 90 % of the cases, but in an informal way: by her way of being, her posture, her eyes.
Instinctively, the man is afraid and prefers coming by the side or from behind to approach a woman. He skips into her back and dances behind her in the club, it is the failure, generally.
The very beautiful girls frighten the men.
The ideal discussion, it is you who start it, you manage to be pleasant for her then you give her the relay. When she speaks finally more than you, it is won. At first it is M90-10W, then 50-50. A woman appreciates afterward to be listened even if it will very often belong to you to strike up a conversation.
One of the keys here is to use the body language to detect the women who are free and opened for a meeting. A single woman often looks around her to watch the beautiful men, she is bent on her chair, smiling, she does not focus only on her group of friend. She eyes during a few seconds the men in the room.
Etc.
The emotion :
Three emotional levers which can make the woman answer favorably:
– The sensation that your value is equal or superior to hers :
– The sensation that she is unique for you, that she deserved your attention ;
– The sensation of comfort and connection with you.
The basic plan :
1. Attraction => 2. Comfort => 3. Seduction
1 – The attraction :
1.1 Approach or opening = > 1.2 Demonstrate a higher value + show an indifference for the target + the target shows indicators of interests for you = > 1.3 The target is more engaged in the interaction + reward her efforts with indicators of interests
Do not approach only the women alone but also the groups (feeling of security for them). The attractive girls are rarely alone…
Before opening have a good time, have a confident body language.
Use your body to convey confident signals.
The simple opening (approach to attract and hold attention) :
– The opening (opener) by the advice (authority + advice) ;
– The opening by the opinion (make the woman invest + no demonstration of interest) ;
– The opening by the drama (emotional statement + short story) ;
– The opening by the compliment (not physical + authentic) ;
– The opening by the destabilization (fake compliment + authentic) ;
– The opening by the humor (funny + subject which strikes up a conversation) ;
– The opening by the context (open according to the present situation, the reactivity).
Remember that it is not so much what you say which matters but how you say it. Then have a strong presence (body language). Be spontaneous (wait for no more than 3 or 5 seconds before approaching a girl you like and if you can maintain her EC while approaching).
The opening of a group (to attract and to hold attention + acceptance by the group) :
If your target is in a group, open all the group. Do not then show signs of interest, be indirect in your opening. Be captivating, people have to feel involved in your opening.
In a group, you will have to be validated by all the group because the others are obstacles which will slow down you or will totally block you.
Demonstrate a high value to everybody + indifference for your target = > she should give you indicators of interest
Two rules:
– Never approach your target in 1st.
– Talk to the “leader of the group”. Idea: it is often the man… Not necessarily a competitor, it can be her roommate, her brother, etc.
In summary:
– Find a group ;
– Determine your target ;
– Determine the obstacles ;
– Determine the leader ;
– Approach the leader ;
– Be accepted ;
– Open on the target.
High value + indifference = interest of the woman for you :
Mix the demonstrations of high value and the destabilizations by being the most neutral and authentic possible. Demonstrate a high value to the group while showing a temporary indifference for the target. By way of result, the target is going to show indicators of interest to you.
Destabilize her :
Certain men persist in playing the nice boys to try to seduce. But if we observe from a feminine point of view it does not sub-communicate dominance but a seek for approval: It is typical, boring, predictable, monotonous …
To destabilize her (creating a curiosity), tease her on something (be careful with that):
– Use her appearance (ex: her shoes).
– Tell her that she sputters, that she has something in the nose.
– Tell her that she talks a lot.
– Ask her to pay you a drink.
It is going to invert the roles IE she is going to wonder if you have a good impression of her or not. Be as neutral and authentic as possible (be sincere, natural and nonchalant) in your destabilizations, do not overdo it and avoid doing them on a provocative tone or with a woman who is not confident enough to handle it. This is why with this method it is necessary to aim at the beautiful girls otherwise at the time of the indifference she is going to say to herself “another jerk who is not interested in me” rather than “but why that one doesn’t try to have me”). Do not especially settle a frame of conflict (not easy), just try to prick in lively her curiosity so that she lowers her defenses and wants to speak with you. It is powerful, it can turn a “neutral” behavior into “interested”.
Demonstrations of high value :
Do not beg the women, do not brag, it would demonstrate you try to bridge the negative gap there is between you and a beautiful woman (you < her). You have to demonstrate on the contrary a higher value, for example by sub-communicating protection, some security and power (confidence, social power, preselection)
Having a lot of money, for example, can increase your value if she discovers it on her own, but not if you use your money to try to impress her. Keep in mind that only a person of lower value tries too hard to impress.
Demonstrations of high value:
-Be preset by other women ;
– Be a leader of men(people) ;
– Be interesting and funny ;
– Encourage and protect those who are close to you ;
– Be non-affected negatively and little positively (not too much enthusiasm) ;
– Have a social intelligence ;
– Demonstrate some indifference for beautiful women who have not deserved you yet ;
– Have a sense of humor and know how to stimulate emotionally ;
– Know your limits and when to break a report.
The frame :
The frame of the woman if you buy her a drink in a bar for example sub-informs that SHE is the reward (prize). On the contrary, you have to redefine the sense of the interaction:
– You are the prize ;
– She tries to win you ;
– You will sleep together if she(it) corresponds to your criteria.
Make the target more committed :
The importance of introducing several threads of discussion and to not stay always on the same subject : create a sensation of familiarity, like if you were old friends.
At first: speak, lead the interaction, stimulate…
You have to stop the boring threads of discussions like her ex.
Use the stories to convey good feelings: funny and interesting, not necessarily extraordinary. Take advantage of it to inform subtly that you are a social leader, etc. When you tell a story, keep in mind that women use mainly their right brain, siege of the sensations and the feelings while for the men it is the left which dominates (analytical and rational). Scientifically, it is not sure, but it helps in seduction to keep it in mind. Use adjectives, silences, expressions, your interlocutor has to express interest otherwise do not go on. Trick : insist on how you felt over the moment. Attract by showing your humanity (reactions to the life). Put details, try to determine her favorite system of representation (visual/auditory/kinesthetic). To improve, train to tell commonplace events in an interesting way!
Role plays (short and funny).
Make false disqualifications (“You are too kind to me” or “Our relationship will not work, you are too kind”).
Qualification: you are a valuable man thus she has to validate for you. Be curious about her but subtle. The dominant male is selective!
Connection :
We cannot create connection alone. She has to play the game. Make her focused on the present moment, she has to get involved and listen carefully.
Make her speak and listen: encourage the woman to show yourselves that she is worth it. She has to make efforts! Remain silent and do not show your feelings. Be quiet and serene: ask a question and let her fill the “space”. Ask her a question which will bring a validation: her effort will urge her to play the game with you, and your act will generate an attraction because only a confident person can ask something.
Be authentic : When you ask “how are you?”, your language of the body must not communicate “you don’t mind if I speak with you ?”.
The smile : She has to win your smile. “What is your name?” ” Julie! ” (Smile) : if we smile before she answers, it is because we are needy.
The true meaning : If you tell a story about your “friend”, she will wonder if it is not you in fact. Do not tell negative things to don’t be associated with.
Do not show desperate interest :
Especially, do not force the conversation (interrogation, series of questions), do not ask closed questions for which you would obtain just one word in return; wait rather that she says something who deserves a real interest.
Either, do not try to force common points for example: “I go in for sport”, “me too”. Use rather the humor “do you never want a good pizza after? Yummy”.
Something else, do not overdo it at the beginning of an interaction: you should rather joke, tell stories and she has to make an effort there. Establish a unique interaction.
Your interest for the obstacles (AMOG or COCKBLOCK) or for the women has to be a sincere interest otherwise you would demonstrate a low value. Best is to be sociable and nice with everybody.
Instead of approaching the women by asking questions which answer does not interest you, ask for interesting things or be a little provocative. No need to have a deep philosophic but original, different, interesting conversation…
Ask her questions on the sensations she feels.
Be indirect in what you say, but direct in what you do : do not lose sight of your objective. Alternate the warmth and the cold: indicators of interest and indifference.
The kinesthetic escalation :
We start at the very beginning by touching her and we escalate little by little. While you stimulate emotionally, while you control the frame, while you create a connection, you will see appearing opportunities to tactilely escalate. If you miss them, you will communicate a lower value. Take the initiative: decide where and when the physical contacts will happen. Brake or break the contact the first one if possible.
Bulk ideas: hands which touch, hand in hand, smelling her hair, kissing her, hand on the knee, the arm around hips, etc. Take initiatives…
Touching the hand is essential: squeeze it to get acquainted, read the lines of the hand, the battle of thumbs, make her turn on herself, etc. She so becomes used to your touch which must seem natural and normal for her. She has to believe that it takes place without you tried something. Trick is to do so that it is her who introduces the contact: by putting her hand on your arm instead of putting your hand on the arm. Control the duration of the touch, manage the intensity, find the point of resistance. Do not concentrate either your attention or hers on touches. Giving an indicator of indifference before a touch will help it to be more favorably received.
In the highest levels of the escalation, the women are programmed to give signs of resistance. It is a reaction to avoid feeling “easy”. She wants that things take place but she wants that they happen in a right way. So, if for a test, you caress with your finger along the thighs and remove it suddenly, she can feel a disappointment or a need but will not object because the touch left (and it’s good enough for her because she so doesn’t look like a whore who is touched by a guy).
The compliance tests :
– Take her hand and drop it to see if she will take it back.
– Touch her and observe if she touches you in return.
– Put her hand on your knee to see if she removes it or not.
– Put her between your legs while you speak with her.
Etc.
If you ask to a woman to get up and that she does not want: she is not attracted by you. In this case: signs of indifference + demonstration of high value; then try again!
(1) Indicator of indifference => Demonstration of high value
=> if she shows some indifference => (1)
=> if she shows interest => compliance test
=> if positive test => you give indicators of interest and indifference at intervals
=> if negative test => (1)
Reward her efforts by showing your interest : You have to qualify her from time to time, in particular when she does something to try to seduce you, that she feels that you like her. Qualify her by the body language or by the words. The state of mind is “I guess that you are nice you, I am curious about you”.
2 – The comfort
Creation of the Comfort = > 2.1 Conversation = > 2.2 Connection = > 2.3 Intimacy
Conversation and connection :
Even if you were mutually interested, you know each other since justa few minutes. Have a funny, natural conversation, on several threads of discussion. She will have to remember later how much it was pleasant. So that she wants to see you again, she has not only to be invested a lot, but to feel a real connection between the two of you.
If she does something which disturbs you, at this moment do not disqualify her like in the attraction: remove temporarily your attention and you will return towards the comfort by showing a sign of interest when the situation will appear. She will regret having knocked you, will see that you can also not return the knocks, and will be in position of weakness…
Put into words the idea of kissing her then disqualify it: she has to realize that she is more comfortable with your touches than without. If she comes back, you can kiss her.
Intimacy :
The place where you meet her is not maybe the ideal: too many people, or music, etc. If the place is not good enough, lead her towards a place of creation of the comfort. Find a pretext so that she follows you and isolate her, do as if this change of place was not so important for you (bring her for example in a dark corner where her friends cannot see you). When it will be rather comfortable, you can decide to take her towards an even more private place. Trick : put your hat on the head and ask her to follow you. She will have to follow you to give you the hat back.
You can then use tests of conformity: take the hand and release a little to see if she tightens it.
The first zone of comfort: not very far, possibility of having a dialogue in peace.
Try to arrange an appointment before leaving her; take her number or her email.
3 – Seduction
It is when the woman feels enough comfortable to make a commitment in a more sexual behavior (after the kiss).