At the moment, I see a lot of ads which invite me to join dating sites… Some make dream (I like the grandmother who flirts with the handsome beard guy) ! But, I also know exactly what is hidden behind this golden facade. I lost enough time on this kind of sites, I took enough slaps in my face and I met enough women to feel obliged to warn you against the dark side of the online dating.
Warning #1 : the couples which praise the virtues of the site on the homepage are not real. They are free of copyright photos and testimonies written by experts in marketing. This kind of site is only very rarely a miracle place where you shall meet love (an improved (sex)friendship is yet more possible).
Warning #2 : girls’ profiles do not always belong to girls. There are people who are paid by the site to discuss with you. There are also teasing profiles made to exchange your money against naughty shows via webcam. Finally, certain guys create girl’s profile to make fun of the other guys or to obtain compromising photos of them with the aim of blackmailing them.
Warning #3 : the real women who go on these sites do not always do it for good reasons (especially on the free sites). Many come only to feel reassured on their power of seduction but do not want to meet guys. There are also quite a lot of hypocrites who do not assume to have joined a dating site nor to need and desire to make love… they warn you « no sexfriend I have everything I need (look for the mistake) » or « just here for friendship » ; « a friend made my profile », « just here to see » etc. Their bad faith is without limit. Finally, some girls have fun playing the haughty silly bitch (they patronize you and make the malignant while they would close their mouth in face-to-face).
Warning #4 : even the girls who came on the site for the good reasons can quickly go nuts. Indeed, as soon as a girl creates her profile, she is immediately submerged by proposals (no courage needed for approaching a girl on the Internet). Hundreds of guys contact them, then they make gourmet and forget the elementary rules of politeness. They think that they are going to be able to select dozens virile, sexy, intelligent, rich and funny at the same time guys to put them in competition to buy them glasses in bars and bottles in clubs.
Warning #5 : when they went nuts, their case is hopeless : they think they are princesses. They think that they just have to wait to be picked up without supplying any effort. That they are authorized to make you wait 3 hours before answering, to throw tantrums for nothing, etc.. They will oblige you ceaselessly to come back talking to them, will answer your pavements with a single word, will promise dates then will cancel at the last moment. They will sometimes leave the site without warning, in the middle of a discussion.
Warning #6 : it is easy for women to have a date with a different hot guy every night but they undergo the social pressure. You, on your side, have to agree to pay and to nevertheless give them the power of the sexual choice. However, they are so much afraid of being labeled as « easy » that they do not use this power even if they really want to… The problem is there are too many frustrated idiots who would point them.
Warning #7 : competition compromises you. Indeed, the guys are the same there that in the street and the clubs (stupid, needy, in lack of affection, liars with complexes, poets who copy-send the same text to everybody, shy dudes who feel exhilarated thanks to the virtual but will not succeed in articulating 3 words in face-to-face, etc.). Thanks to the principle of association, you too will be labeled « loser ». This is why you should clearly make the difference in your profile.
Warning #8 : the great majority of the women (and men) are imbecile. The dating sites became places of human consumption where the individuals scroll the photos one after the other and try to collect the most beautiful specimens (you are nothing as long as the girl did not see you in person). Something else: since when a woman who says looking for seriousness, really looks for a serious relationship ? Since when a woman who says looking for a kind, faithful guy… really looks for this kind of man? Another effect of the social pressure. The truth is that if most of the girls connect… it’s because their love life is meaningless. They have nothing to do, then they look for somebody who will make her feel important, they want to live an appearance of story by proxy. It is a side effect of our overprotected society.
Warning #9 : there are techniques to sleep with almost all the girls whom you meet (the idea is to make a good sorting upstream so you meet only the motivated women). However, most of people speak generally about neutral subjects for weeks (body languages representing 90 % of the communication: it is impossible to know if the current is going to flow with a person before having seen her as large as life.) Or then, because of the sexual tension, they do not act in the same way that on the Internet. Or then, they go on 4 or 5 dates, go to the restaurant, then sleep together and it is bad… Then they never call back. Expect numerous disappointments if you respect the rules.
Warning #10 : be ready to assume. It is not excluded that you bump into people whom you know (people you work with or neighbors, etc.) I do not advise you to try to pick them up online: if they are interested, they will come… otherwise, it’s their loss.
The bottom line is : if you are a guy and if you respect the rules… so you are a sucker. If you are a girl, know that you serve only to attract those suckers. It is the same principle as in clubs but without the alcohol and the music. With that said, there are all the same rare pearls on the dating sites (I made dozens of great meetings with girls who did not too much complicate things …) and I thus could easily write an article about how to use the dating sites in a constructive way.