Before I get into the main topic, we have to agree on the vocabulary. Two terms in particular:
– Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) : a man who wants to use the politically correct stereotypes taught by the media to seduce a woman. And failing most of the time. He thus has few women around him, or then with a lot women but who have friendzoned him, etc. (I’ve been this guy).
– Pick Up Artist, usually abbreviated PUA is a term, coming from American English : used to describe a man (not necessarily a handsome one) skillful to meet, attract and seduce women. He knows how to have women when he wants, he is not necessarily a sex maniac, a sex-addict, a misogynist nor a narcissistic pervert.
When we discover the Game and when we begin to have results, the most frequent/serious 2 errors are:
– being in couple with the first chick we met (statistically there are few chances that she suits you well) and deny all that you have learnt by becoming again stupid as one pleases, etc. ;
– being full of resentment to the women, trying to take revenge on all those who did not want of you in the past, picking up as a kind of crusade by refraining yourself from any feeling, etc. It is not healthy.
We are going to be clear on one thing: it is not the methods which have to seduce the girls, it is you. Being a PUA is a question of state of mind… The techniques like the routine of the questions or the compliance test can help… But what is essential it is that it is necessary to acquire social and sexual freedom: thus, a good state of mind and understanding how to put things in perspective!
I develop. A PUA and an AFC will not have the same faiths, will not interpret the reality in the same way. And it is obviously the one who interprets the reality in the most constructive way for him who will go the farthest. The PUA, him, will of course trendy to go out more of his comfort zone! Let’s take the example of a girl who accepts the invitation of a guy to come to his place. The AFC will tend to raise 36 000 questions, to wonder what he would have to do or say to sleep with her, etc. This malaise can be felt by the girl and the capital attraction of the AFC will suffer from it. The PUA will take more initiatives, will be more a player, because he will know why the girl came in fact. Even if often the social pressure prevents him from saying it. This thoughtlessness, this nonchalance, this implicit confidence… all this will make him only more charming, more open-minded, more comprehensive, and he will thus have more success.
The AFC who offers flowers and pays the restaurant can have results (fortune favours fools, as it is said, but that does not seem to be true with women then let’s speak rather about the beginner’s luck here). The player who follows carefully a plan will also have results. But the tools of seduction serve only to highlight the best in you (empathy, fineness, intelligence) and in freeing this personality, this energy that slumbers to attract the one or several woman(en) of your life like a magnet. Having a narrow and mechanical vision of Game will lead to the failure, I can certify it to you.
Thus needs to reach beyond the stage of the mechanical memorization, do not become a robot to fuck 3 chicks, selling your soul to the devil like that is not worth it. And it is not being a PUA. Yeah, you can embody a character at the beginning to get acquainted with the methods, to see what works and what does not work for you, to get free from certain blockings but quickly become again yourself (a better yourself) even if it means giving up on certain categories of girls. You will just take more satisfaction on the long-term.
I am no guru but I think hard as rock that personal fulfillment is the purpose of the existence: needs to keep the cape above. You won’t find it into the woman of your life as considers it the AFC nor in a list of conquests very supplied as believes it the obsessional player. It is two opposed philosophies of life that can bring you a certain dose of pleasure but happiness is in theory IN YOURSELF (don’t we say that money can’t buy happiness?). A critical perspective on the various methods and a widened culture of the gender relations can help you to sublimate your love life thanks to greater maturity and lucidity. At least it is what I think. Even if becoming lucid, it is not necessarily being happy because we open eyes on things we would have preferred not to see.
A personal work will be necessary for the success of this project and few will be the ones who will go ’till the end of the journey. Reading, understanding, practising, internalizing and personalizing the advice are keys: no author holds the inherent knowledge (not even me). The magic will not in one night operate and taking the necessary stand back before finding the happy medium and letting express your personal touch which will allow you to bloom in this world that became all the same a fucking mess will take time.
When you will be ready, you will be able to be happy with a good girl and to manage the ups and downs of your relation… If it is not your purpose at the moment, that will probably become it (even me I eventually found a girl who tempted me of believing in love again). You will also have the moral strength and the courage to break up if your relation becomes toxic. When you will be ready, you will also be able to be honest with yourself: you totally can decide to live as an eternal single nectar-gathering. Even if for it, after a certain age, it will be necessary for you to take some viagra. In brief, in any case, your power of seduction will exponentially have increased. And that’s not nothing!
Eventually, I think that one can be a PUA even by being in couple or by not picking up every day. It is a question of state of mind, of vision of life/women, and of past experience. Just like we can be a sucker and a submitted guy during a whole life. Let’s meditate on that together.