More than 1000 examples of cocky funny lines…

After having convey you my knowledge about alpha body language, I propose you by now another practical topic.

“Concretely, what should you say to a woman you want to seduce?”

Argument of authority: The PUA universally famous Neil Strauss, in his best-seller The Game, said that he memorized hundreds of cocky-funny lines. Thus, it is a good way to become a great seducer. Click here to read my article about that.

” Your hair is different. I like it.”

” I like you and your laugh.”

“It was a compliment. Sort of.”

“Stop being cute.”

“You look stunning, if it isn`t obvious. ”

“I’ve lost my charm!
– Not from where I’m standing.”

“I’ve lost my charm!
– Not from where I’m standing.”

“You`re not the worst company in the world. You should give yourself more credit.”

“- You cleaned up pretty well yourself.
– Well, don’t be fooled love. I’m the devil in disguise.”

“Well, I’ve had plenty of practice.”

“- Congratulations.
– Thank you.”

“You’ve nice arms.
– Thank you.”

In the doubt, it is the best answer to receive a compliment. Even if it is ironic.

“I’m better at being the bad guy anyway.”

“I can tell you from experience, everyone loves a villain.”

“You have my word, for all that’s worth.”

“I’m the guy your mother warned you about. Sexy by nature. Naughty by choice.”

“What? I’m the asshole. Just because I say what’s on everybody’s mind?”

“Hate the game, not the player.”

“Isn’t it boring, to be so virtuous?”

“I am a bad influence.”

“You’re forgetting one simple fact. Sleeping with the enemy is hot.”

“I still think you are mean, petty and vindictive, but I’m thinking maybe we should hate f-ck? Get the poison out?”

“- Please don’t tell me that you and her are friends.
– Not unless you count hate sex.”

“I love it when you talk dirty.”

“- You’re sick.
– You’re welcome.”

“If it was to insult me, there’s a website you can go to.”

“No, I just know a lost cause when I see it.” Sometimes it’s a waste of time to argue with idiots. Thus it is better to put a stop.

The most important it is not to be rejected or not. It is how you react to rejection. Don’t be too much moved and next! And if it is a test, persevere!

“Wait, before you go, please answer the following survey so I could better bang you in the future. What didn’t work for you about this pickup?”

“Your loss”

“Bad period of the month?”

“- I came to apologize.
– So apologize.”

“Fool me once, shame on you…”

“Uuh, my bad.”

“You’`re right. I didn’t have to try to kiss you. I do a lot of things I don’t have to do.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere. But don’t stop trying.”

“-You don’t take no for an answer, do you?
– No.”

“It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture. I don’t know why, just ask God.”

“- What I don’t get is why she likes you.
– That’s because you haven’t had sex with me.”

“There is no girl too pretty for a PUA.”

“- I have a surprise for you!
– In that case why are you still dressed?”

“- You should be in bed.
– We both should be!”

“- We need to talk.
– I prefer to talk after.”

“Aren’t we a little overdressed ?”

“- It’s not like you work out.
– I do my cardio in the evenings.”

If she invites you at her place for something not sexual “No! I will not go to your bedroom with you.”

“So this is your bed huh?”

“I’ve just always been a multi-tasker.”

“I’ve just always been a multi-tasker.”

“-Are you a man who enjoys games?
– Depends with whom I’m playing.”

“We’re gonna make a great team. We just need some practice.”

“Every artist needs a muse.”

“Every artist needs a muse.”

“This would be so much more fun if we were naked.”

“I’am easy boy… when I like the girl.” The girls do not like the sex-starved who would fuck whoever. They like feeling unique. They want to win you, at least a minimum.

“Ow! If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was ask.”

“The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 16 years, 11 months old.”

“Sorry, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no wait. That was last night.”

“I am a PUA. We’re a predatory species.”

“You know what they say about drugs taking… don’t do it.”

“Back from shopping, no packages. Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

“Come on you don’t like it? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Let the adults handle this stuff.”

“May I remind you that you used to have a sense of humor ?”

“I’m teasing you.”

“Don’t pout. It’s not attractive in a woman of your age.”

“- Not cool.
– Come one. A little bit cool, no?” For you, yes !

“Superheroes don’t smoke.”

“I don’t smoke, I go in for sport.”

“- Do you smoke after sex?

– I don’t know, baby, I never looked.”

“- How old are you?
– Eighty-three. How old are you?”

“- I love to travel myself.
– Where’s the best place you visited?
– Hawaii’s nice. A buddy of mine lives in Seattle, that’s a good spot. But the best place I have to say, the moon. Hi, my name is Neil Armstrong.”

“No I don’t have a girlfriend… I have 8 girlfriends.”

“No, I’m still searching for my soulmate.”

“- You are disgusting and I hate you!
– Then why are you still holding my hand?”

“- Isn’t there someone else you can try to seduce?
– Probably but I choose you.”

“- Do you… ‘like’ me?
– Define like.”

“- I’m afraid I’m a complicated woman.
– That is something to be afraid of.”

“I don’t know if I trust you either. That’s what makes it more exciting, doesn’t it?”

“I know you’re pretty and all, but it doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole!”

“I give amazing blow jobs,” she said. “Respect.”

“I don’t know who your boyfriend is, but he’s not spanking you enough.”

“Well if I have a passion it’s taking life and turning it into a series of crazy stories.”

“I wish men could have children on their own, like seahorses!”

“Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need, Sex Lessons!”

“With great penis comes great responsibility.”

“Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.”

“It’s true, I am kind of retarded, but I am also kind of amazing.”

“Don’t you sometimes wish you had two cocks? I do.”

“When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is my life has better lighting?”

“I like tea because it is hot and wet.”

“I am left-handed, you are right-handed. I am special, you are not.”

“Leave a message and I might listen to it.”

“- You’re like my brother
– Well I hope you’re going to make yourself available for more missed childhood memories. Bathing together, for example.”

“We are friends who have sex together.”

“Relax. You don’t want your hair to fall out.”

“- How do I fix him?
– Get a new boyfriend.”

“- Oh, he had a dinner with his rugby team.
– How homoerotic.”

“What could possibly be so important that you misplaced? Your viagra?”

“It’s a good thing you don’t offer satisfaction guaranteed.”

“If you needed to mark your territory so badly, maybe you should just pee on her.”

“- You can’t keep you pecker in your pants for more than 24 hours.
– At least I can keep it in service for more than five minutes.”

“Only idiots never have a change of mind.
– I reassure you, they apparently do too.”

At his place “This place could use a woman’s touch.”

“Have you met XXX ?”

“Hey, are you good at accepting compliments from complete strangers?
– Sweet, me too. You go first, compliment me.”

“You’re KINDA hot. Are you friendly ?”

“If you’re going to look at me like that, you should at least talk to me.”

“It is God who sends me.”

“If you buy me a drink you might get lucky tonight.”

“- Let’s get a drink .
– Oh please tell me you’re planning on getting me drunk so you can try and seduce me.”

“I have two bottles of Champagne at home. One to drink and one to pour all over your body…”

“I can’t drink all this by myself. I mean, I can. But then someone is getting naked.”

“I want to kiss you. Btw, I’m not drunk.”

“It’s my/your party. You can kiss me if you want to.”

“I’ve never kissed a lesbian before, but there can always be a first time.”

“OMG (oh my god) you suck at this game, but you can kiss right?”

“There are so many great things to do with the human mouth, why waste it on talking?”

“I’m not gonna kiss you right now. That wouldn`t serve my greater agenda. ”

“You are my existential crisis. Do I kiss you or do I not kiss you?”

“If I’m gonna feel guilty about something, I’m gonna feel guilty about this.”

“- I don’t know how to say goodbye.
– Actions speak louder than words…”

“Are you a good kisser?”

“You invited me up to your apartment to watch a movie. Is that not an international recognized term for sex?”

“You’re right I should totally not be taking your bra off whooops.” Saying oops by doing something deliberatly it is cool.

“Let’s not ruin it with you talking.”

“- I’m not going to have sex with you.
– Why?! I’d have sex with me.”

“Now you need to stop with this resistance. You’re starting to believe your own press.”

“Okay, I admit you made me jealous. Now let’s go back to my place so you can collect your prize.”

“- If you want to leave, now is the time.
– You’re not kicking me out?
– Some of them don’t get the choice. But if you stay, you do what I do.”

“- I’m dying to see that.
– Please stay alive! At least for tonight.”

Just testing an old adage: “Unlucky at cards…”

If a girl ever uses a smiley with its tongue sticking out in a message: “Put away that tongue unless you plan to use it”

“- Tell me what you want quickly.
– Direct, I like that. My name is Fabrice. What I want… is you.”

“Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I’m gonna have to report you. For giving me a serious boner.”

“I’ve got a godlike erection. Seems a shame to waste it.”

“I’ve got a godlike erection. Seems a shame to waste it.”

“- I have no swimming trunks.
– Neither have I.”

“- I do, but I can’t say. I’m sworn to secrecy.
– Since when do you bite your tongue?
– I’m learning.”

“Who knows my limits?”

“Who knows my limits?”

“- Answer me.
– Are you sure you really want to know?”

“I will tell you… as a pillow talk. ”

“That wasn’t me. That was the universe.”

“Ok, I will stay here at the bar with you, but you have to promise that you won’t make a dirty move on me.”

“- let’s get a drink .
– So that’s how you plan to try to seduce me.”

“- let’s get a drink .
– So that’s how you plan to try to seduce me.”

“Don’t be so predictable.”

“Don’t be so predictable.”

“Prove me that I am wrong.”

“Prove me that I am wrong.”

“- What’s going on with you two?
– We kissed. Now it’s weird.”

“You’re a liar. There is something going on between the two of us, and you know it.”

“I saw her today, BTW – that means `by the way`. She was at cheerleading practice. She looks so perky in her little short shorts.”

“Bummer, I love a good girl fight.”

“Life sucks. Get a helmet.”

“Whatever you do, don’t be another brick in the wall.”

“Life is too damn short to dance with fat girls.”

“- What’s on your mind?
– Just my mom…
– Sounds Freudian.”

“- What is your secret and if it’s legal I want some.
– It’s not a substance. It’s a state of mind. A word.
– Let me guess, a dirty word.
– The word is Yes. I say it at anything. If an opportunity presents itself I take it. There’s nothing I won’t try once.”

“A fight implies time and energy. This is more of an ongoing, detached distrust.”

“Well, you can’t win them all..”

“Anyone can by cynical. Dare to be an optimist.”

“You are going to sleep by knowing that you gave the best of yourself.” It is the most important.

“Man proposes, woman disposes.”

“What’s going on sweetheart ? I got home safe, which is a miracle considering what we were doing at this club.”

“I’ve been in love. It’s painfull, it’s pointless and overrated.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I take my shirt off?”

“- Fabrice Julien is a romantic, who knew?
– Now you do, and it’s all what matters.”

“Better a broken nose than a broken heart.”

“They say the great die young, so I must be on my way.”

“- I have a big meeting in a few hours.
– A few hours is hours from now.”

“Tomorrow’s another day.”

“Let’s have fun, tonight. Your words. Just pointing that out.”

“Stop being ashamed of who you are.”

“Stop talking. Start partying.”

“No time like the present.”

“That’s the eternal dilemma isn’t it? Home sweet home versus the wild call of the world outside your door.”

“Nobody cares. You’re overcomplicating everything.”

“- Where were you last night?
– That’s so long ago, I don’t remember.
– Will I see you tonight?
– I never make plans that far ahead. ”

“You know, if you really want to thank me, I’ve got a few ideas…” (if you’re looking for a way to thank me I’ve a couple of ideas)

“You can repay me another time.”

I guess the words you are looking for are ‘thank you.’

“Let’s catch up. Take our clothes off, stare at each other.”

“I showered, I shaved, I had breakfast, very relaxed.”

“If you two want to kiss, it won’t count as cheating.”

“Oh, that is so sweet! Why don’t you kiss, I love it when two chicks make out.”

If they kiss : “So what do you know..this is an interesting turning of events.”

To provoke.”And now to seal this sacred vow, the two ladies will kiss.”

“Well, you know what they say, two’s company, three’s a party.”

If the girl doesn’t know what she wants “Btw it’s a DATE.”

“Two people of the opposite gender can’t rendezvous after seven p.m.? It’s automatically a date?”

“Wow. Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.”

“I’m updated our relationship status to: It’s Complicated.”

“- You like married women, don’t you?
– It keeps things simple.”

“Life with you could never be boring. Will you marry me?”

“I think that’s the good thing about never being married. It’s impossible to divorce.”

“I google myself but I never cheated on you. Never.”

“Don’t use the husband’s condoms, that’s just rude.”

“So you’re pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.”

“- I’m pregnant.
– I’ve never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry force of habit, congratulations!”

“Are you sure you are not just getting fat?”

“- I’m late.
– What? That’s not possible. I…I…I…I…I…I…I wore a condom. That’s… that would be like, uh, the immaculate conception.
– I’m late for school.”

“No breast-feeding in front of me. Forget about it. You can whip em out whenever you want.”

“Jealousy is a powerful feeling.”

“Work is a cruel mistress.”

“- Where’ve you been?
– What are you, my mother?”

“- What happened?
– Long story. Buy the e-book.”

“- What the hell is going on?
– Divine intervention. If you consider me divine.”

“- And who do we say you are, my son?
– Is it weird hearing you say that actually turns me on?
– This better be worth the therapy.”

“Tonight ? Maybe I’ll just jerk off and go back to bed.”

“- So what do you want to do?
– I want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Just by writing these lines, I have imagined new retorts…

” – Jerk!
– Immediatly the big words… ”

” You made yourself pretty for me?  What do you expect?;) ”

” I’m am too lazy to make my thumb work to write you a text. ”

” Ah no it is not me who like that, you probably confuse with your other boyfriend. ”

” Ahhh I have no doubt about that. ”

” Are you not afraid of being too much turned on later? ”

” What’s the point ? Why do you wanna resist your drives? ”

” If a muscular not too uglynaked man leaves you indifferent, wonder about your sexual orientation. ”

” – Having sex just for having sex, it is not really crazy
– Itdepends with whom 😉 ”

” I feel you sceptical, you probably knew a lot of guys bad in bed. But with me you could enjoy today if you believed in it a little more and put in it a little more willingness. ”

” – I can not come this evening finally sorry (flake)
– There is nothing to be sorry about. ”

There is an infinity but well with more than 1000 ideas (contained in this ebook) , you are adorned to face the hazards of the game. Do not hesitate to mix them, to adapt them to your context, to invent new lines! The important thing for me was to communicate to you the underlying mindset of the sexual humor. And for only 25€ (the price of your haircut). Then do not hesitate more!

See you soon !

Extract from : More than 1000 sexy alpha funny lines