In this article I will explain why you are afraid to approach a girl when you should not. I will also explain why this pressure that the guys put on themselves when approaching a woman is overrated. And finally, I’ll explain how to approach girls effectively and everywhere: how to approach a woman on the street, how to approach a girl in a bar, how to approach a girl in a club, how to approach an unknown on the Internet, etc.
Before starting my presentation, I refer you to this article which is a summary of the best advice on “how to approach a girl”.
And to this article that will help you understand how to dare to approach a girl.
Now you’re ready to read the truth about how to approach a girl!
Fear when approaching a girl
When we talk to a woman, basically, we do not care that it’s going well or badly. The only purpose of the collision is to launch and not to procrastinate. We do not want to be afraid to talk to strangers anymore. The reaction of the girl in question does not matter. You have to stop worrying about things that are not worth it, and get rid of that baseless social pressure.
Approaching a woman is not sorcerer
Approaching, it’s really not rocket science, as Jamy would say. This is not a judgment on your seduction abilities. Indeed, when I say “approaching a girl” I do not speak of your real ability to lift a girl who is already a little interested by you. Passing this interest from “a little interested” to “very interested” is seduction. That’s all. Approaching a girl is simply to find, in the sea of possibilities, girls who are potentially interested and not to take care of the rest… It is necessary to make a fast sorting. To approach, to seduce, to conclude, it is a question of statistics.
The different reactions that we can meet
It does not matter if the girl reacts positively (green light), if the interaction is really weird (orange light) or if she suggests you go fuck yourself (red light). You approached a girl, you dared, bravo. It was the only thing that mattered, no matter what the reaction was. If it goes wrong, go graze more green meadows.
Neither seduction nor dragging are sciences that require bac+8. There are only three types of reactions you can get:
– Red light: vulgar, aggressive, naughty girl, etc.
– Orange: shy girl, polite, hesitant, etc.
– Green light: girl very excited to meet you.
Obviously, if you only meet red lights, it’s because something is wrong in your game. We should therefore review the basics (see the two articles I advised at the beginning) to better understand how to approach a girl.
Sometimes we come across bits
Approaching a girl is easy. But you should not believe that you will always be greeted enthusiastically. Go gaily but be mentally prepared for each of the three potential reactions.
I see guys approaching and being outraged when they get a “red light” reaction. I see guys being ready to end the interaction when it starts slowly with a shy girl or falling in love with a girl who simply strives to be polite by responding briefly and detached.
You will always be stressed when approaching a girl
Understand that you will feel anxiety regardless of how you feel. Even if it works like clockwork, you feel tension because she appreciates you. If it goes slowly, then you will feel this tension called “social anxiety”. If she ignores you or says something nasty, you’ll probably be pissed off. No matter how you react to it, approaching will make you live strong emotions.
Approaching a girl: mission accomplished
We do not wait for everything to work perfectly or the first time. Sometimes they will laugh or smile at you with all their teeth… good for you, but that was not the goal. The only goal was that you go ahead and stop putting off the day you take your sex life into your own hands. You must overcome your approach anxiety ASAP.
Mission accomplished, you can now go on according to her reaction. For example, making a shy girl comfortable.
Keep a list of good meetings
Keep a list of all the good things that the courage to approach unknowns has brought you. In a few years, you will hardly remember any of the negative reactions you have received. In the end, only the good times remain.
How to approach a girl that you know?
Keep in a corner of your little head that our secret society is called “community of seduction” and not “community of sociability”. That said, the more you are a social animal, the more opportunities you will have to use your seduction skills.
In open environments such as the street and the clubs, I advise you to go very direct.
But in closed environments, like at work, or in one’s social circle, be rather sociable and indirect. How to flirt with a girl you know? Be sociable but stretch out so that the relationship becomes more intimate and you see whether it takes it or not. This is how to approach a girl that you know!
Sensual or sociable?
With women, you want the relationship to become sensual and serious. However, with other people (her friends, your friends) you want her to observe your sociable and friendly side. There are clearly easy situations where you will directly attack by being sensual and zap all the social part. But you will necessarily need your social skills at some point. THAT’S ALL THE INTEREST OF CALIBRATION!
How to approach an unknown?
You are not dealing with a stranger, you are giving her a chance to meet you. Because you are an attractive, interesting man with a lot to offer: you know that she would love to meet you but she is too afraid to come near you. Besides, you were nervous too when you took the first step.
I do not care if you’re very handsome or cool or whatever because even if you’re Brad Pitt’s look-alike, the best you can get by behaving passively are girls around you. But you still have to start the interaction. Give them the opportunity to jump on your cock. It’s up to you…
How to approach a girl ? It is the state of mind that prevails.
State of mind: I do not approach her, I test her
You act socially, but in reality you are looking for cool and attractive girls who love to smile and are not afraid of adventure. You have, of course, approached her but you are just testing her.
I usually give women two chances to meet me. Basically, if she’s nasty or shy, I’ll give her a second chance to realize that she’s talking to an attractive guy who knows her business. I do not feel the need to waste time convincing someone she should talk to me. I know that I am an attractive man with a lot to offer. I have already been validated by more women than reason. All the rest is bonus.
Especially since I’m not interested in women who do not realize the chance they have to fall on a guy like me who would make them come like crazy. There are almost 4 billion women on the planet and it’s too much for me to sleep with all in one life.
State of mind: I am sociable but on my own terms
You are nice but you do not have to bother with bitches. Do not stay where you are not welcome. Flee groups that reject you. It’s rare, but some people are really hateful by nature. No problem. Move on to the next girl and do not let those crazies ruin your spirits. “It was a pleasure to meet you, little pussy. ”
Let it piss. Do not try to analyze human stupidity, otherwise you would go crazy. This is the price to pay to be a sociable guy, but you’re better than that so calmly complete your mission. If something really weird happens, like when a girl yells at you, you can use this story as an introduction to the next one.
It will be counterintuitive enough to find out what works and what does not work. As if success with women was linked to chance. I’m talking about techniques (the most wacky can work) and results. For example, you may have banged a super hottie the day before and get rejected by a poor fat girl today. It’s a joke. The seduction and a fortiori the pick-up are big jokes. It was the truth about how to approach a girl!
Approaching a girl: myths and mistakes
There is a myth that as soon as you have dared to approach her, a woman must listen to you. That your seduction abilities are so developed that she must be instantly captivated by what you say and she will beg you to fuck her. This urban legend puts too much pressure on the players (those who live in the reality of acts).
Approaching a woman is nothing more than starting an interaction
What people have trouble understanding is that engaging in conversation is SOCIAL and does not have much to do with SEDUCTION in itself… it’s not an indicator of what point you are good with women.
Being able to engage in conversations only means that you have enough confidence to take the first step towards people. Notice, it’s already a good start.
However, if you really want to evaluate yourself, try to see how sensual you are. If I introduced you to a woman and put you next to her on a couch for 5 minutes, could you seduce her? I bet you could. Good!
I have never been the best to start conversations. I’m too much of an asshole for that… But I do not care because it has nothing to do with my ability to seduce. I’m never formal about aggressive reactions. Especially that sometimes, it pisses me off so much to fall on sub-shills that I provoke them “you drink alcohol? It’s not good for your diet.” Sometimes I just have fun.
If you approach a woman and she does not care about your mouth, it does not mean that you are bad with women. Not at all. It does not mean anything. Aapproaching a girl is nothing.
How to approach a girl? The techniques…
I do not care about how to approach a woman. I have always ignored information such as the angle of attack, indirect openers, routines… I simply do what goes through my mind at the precise moment when I see her. Then I try to lead my boat based on her reaction to me.
Say something daring. This will guide the conversation about fun. Everyone is looking for fun. Is not it the goal to have fun when you go out?
I suggest you free yourself from everything you have read and heard about the art of approaching. Start off. Forget everything you thought you knew, mostly bullshit written by inactive theoreticians. You now have all the cards in hand to fuck and have fun. Get rejected and smile.
Nothing that happens when you show yourself SOCIABLE has to do with your seduction abilities. Being sociable will not undress the girl, so why worrying about this part of the process?
Be a sex man
However, being sociable can put you in many situations where you can become SENSUAL. And your sensuality will undress the girls.
Talk to everyone and do not take negative reactions too seriously. Because being sociable is nothing. And talking is nothing. You jerk off, seriously. No fuss.
Approaching a girl is not fun. To approach a woman, sometimes, it sucks. Stop waiting to become good. You will never become good. Have you already spoken to 1000 groups? It’s good. But you are still bad. You are bad but it does not matter because approaching is only, in my opinion, a way to sort through quickly between potentially interested girls and others.
You have to be confident
I’m tired of hearing the same advice always “be confident, buddy.” It’s been ten years that we are working on it and we still have not figured out how to eradicate the fear of the approach (the anxiety approach). So, of course, we can explain to you why you are afraid: 10,000 years ago, a caveman could have smashed my head with a club if I had approached the wrong female. Interesting information but does not concern me in any way. We can advise you to destroy your ego. You may be ordered to approach non-stop girls for 48 hours. But after all that, back to the starting point. Let’s stop bullshit. Approaching a girl that sucks. It always fears and it will always be shit. If it was really fun then everyone would do it all the time without flinching.
Personally, I like to be humble when approaching a girl.
Let’s stop lying
It’s not fun for me to approach people when I’m an experienced and sociable person. Fear has never really disappeared and will probably never go away. Some days, I can feel very confident but not be in the mood to approach. We are not machines but human beings…
That lifts me. I will not pretend that I like to approach. I’m not going to walk around all the time with a fake smile. It’s not fun to talk to people. It’s not fun to always take the first step and that effort is almost never recognized…
My only goal when I approach is to do it quickly and efficiently. The goal is to try with the maximum of cute girls in the least possible time.
I love seducing pretty girls who have at least a little interest in me. Even if I hate to approach, finding them is my motivation. Because for 9 bitches, there is 1 very pretty and interested girl with whom I could fuck and spend nice moments from time to time. I’m just looking for her, others are wasting my time.
If you liked this speech, then you will love reading The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations from which it is largely drawn. You will really learn everything about how to approach a girl!
How to approach a girl in bars and clubs?
I leave you with this video where you see me approaching girls in a bar.
Of course, the routine is effective but the body language is also very important (click for a full course).
If you do not know what to say when approaching a girl, you will find here a list of openers.
How to approach a girl on the street?
Here is a video where you will see me approaching a girl in the street. For a full course, I refer you to my formation Cyprine.
How to approach a girl on the Internet?
I published an article on how to use the most effective openers for chatting on the Internet here.
To remember :
- To approach a girl on the street, use a direct approach sentence.
- For approaching a girl in a nightclub or a bar? Use a direct approach phrase.
- To go to a party with friends, be indirect and sociable.
- Approaching a girl at school or at work? Use an indirect approach phrase and be sociable.