What is approach anxiety ?
The fear of approaching or « approach anxiety » is the name given to the natural answer of our body when you take risks. Biologically, a blood influx in the tonsil, siege of the feelings.
If you begin activities like the parachute jumping or something like that, you will feel the same sensation. It is anchored in the human, in our genetic program. We feel this way when we go out of our comfort zone.
The society complicates things
The contemporary company is responsible for a development of the stress and the anxiety. Its rules conditioned us, among others, not to dare approaching women :
– since we’re young, we are told to avoid speaking with strangers (pedophiles, kidnappings)
– we learn to respect the personal space of the strangers ;
– we are afraid of the trial for harassment;
– we are afraid of ruining our reputation;
– we are afraid of being rejected or offended in public.
These social barriers urge us to stay very quietly in our place instead of taking social risks… Even if these same risks could lead us to the full satisfaction of our biological desires.
The challenge it is to become able to say FUCK YOU to these rules and all this shit which prevents us from being really spread. Do not use it as an excuse to don’t approach, don’t withdraw into yourself because « that’s what you have to do ». Do not be a sheep…
Why should you approach women ?
A. It is anchored in you, do not fight it
Learning to overcome his anxiety of approach it is like learning to overcome the need for eat or sleep. The studies showed that in the absence of challenges, men depress. Going out of our zone of comfort is thus a part of our needs. Living in our bubble of comfort is contrary to our nature…
Remember that the biological purpose is just to survive and to reproduce. No more. When you will start taking some risks, you will enter a vicious circle which will urge you to always go farther (in terms of risks and rewards) and every time you will push your boundaries, you will want to go even further.
B. Action dopes you
The only way of passing from paralysis to action is acting. When we act, our internal chemistry produces the dopamine which makes us feel at ease with ourselves. This drug is supposed to help us acquiring new skills.
C. Nobody can reject you because of a cold approach
A woman whom you approach doesn’t know you, she does not reject YOU but the approach. Yet, by practising, you will improve yourself. Most of the women are not silly bitches, they just behave this way when you approach them badly, which is more a test than something else in fact…
D. Faster you fail, faster you succeed
Becoming good with women needs a lot of practice. But it is necessary to persevere! No need to read tons of books written by quacks. Rather need to put two feet in the shit and to rush to really internalize the skills. You have to start by failing before succeeding then fail as soon as possible … Logic, right?
E. Have no regret
If you see every day only a woman whom you find attractive, in ten years you miss 3650 opportunities. Every woman crossed in the street can potentially finish in your bed : it is infuriating. However, even if these 3650 are attractive, how much fill your personal criteria (the character) and find you attractive in return? We will never know because you did not act. Too bad !
F. It is necessary to filter the women to find those who fill our criteria
Your expectations should be high. I think that 80 % of the attractive girls would not suit you for more than one night. It is statistical, you thus have to approach more to fuck more. And do not fuck a girl only because she answers positively to your approach but really because she satisfies your minimal requirements.
G. Realize all the power you have
(The G-spot, the most important.) As an heterosexual man, you can approach who you want. Whole world is your playground (except gayland).
For a heterosexual woman, it is too difficult to approach because it would communicate that she is discouraged, easy, etc. For a gay guy who has the misfortune to approach an heterosexual guy, it can quickly end bad. But a man who approaches women conveys, on the contrary, confidence and strength. The game is thus in our favor, us, the heterosexuals.
No more than 50 % of people on Earth have the power which we possess. And most of people who have it will never use it. Don’t be this guy who watches his life but who does not act. You have the power, thus the choice.
H. Women like being approached but 95 % of the guys have no capacity of approach
Being approached flatters and pleases the women. They are often approached, but most of the time in a awkward way. They thus set up automatic defenses because they have no time for all the losers of the world. By being a little bit different and by showing confidence, you will notice an enormous difference in the way women perceive you. With that said, it is essential to fail several times to be able to polish up the techniques of approach.
I. Do you have the 8 inductors of attraction ?
The appearance, the confidence, the humor, the social intelligence, the passion, the preselection, the status, the wealth. This is what women will check out when you will approach them.
Do you think that an awesome guy, like James Bond, would think about it twice before approaching a girl he would find attractive ? Nope. And you neither. You have to adopt a confident attitude which sub-communicates that you already possess these inductors of attraction (until you truly get them).
Watch the movie Vicky Christina Barcelona and observe how Javier Bardem approaches both girls at the very beginning. You will understand how he persists with confidence although he is rejected for the principle. Besides, he fucks both the two girl (and they ask for more of it), bravo !
Gandhi said one day something like « You do not maybe know which echo will find your attempt, but if you try nothing, be sure that there will be no echo. » Think about it.
Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations