Category: Diary of a French PUA

December 13 2014,

I am full of hate!

I do not know if you can even imagine how much hate I feel for Padawan!

After my last FR that criticized a little him, Padawan was upset. So what did he do? He copied and sent it to the chicks we both know in common.

Several came talked to me, angry, saying that I was calling them “poor pussy” or I do not know what. And they hold me to account. So: did they go to shit for not much or did he change the words in my FR before sending it in order to be sure to offend them? We will never know but I highly suspect it. In any case, it’s a shame : When you’re the wingman of someone, you cannot do things like that as soon as someone question you. Should be a little more humble. And I will follow this example myself in the future.

His justification “From the moment you talk about me I do not see what is the problem. So shut up, cordially J “

Trust is broken down.

I have always said good things about Padawan and hidden his defects in my FR … so that today: he is too much big-headd. When a girl does not want him (often) she is an idiot who does not understand life even though she was great before, when he still thought he could fuck her. I’m a guy who always tries to speak positively about others, never on their back, but it brings me that crap. Why ???

So I’ll unpack my bag. To purge myself. It will do me some good, especially since he is not for nothing in my depression. He contaminated me with his conspiracy theories and social phobias. Finally, this is what I think. I will develop. I will especially try to stay lucid and to consider his arguments too. Maybe he was right, and I’m really more stupid than I think I am, after all. In any case it is impossible for me to be white as sperm snow.

Small portrait of Padawan:

Padawan is a guy who claims to be officially misanthropist. He hates people. He does not talk to anyone but always his same 3 or 4 friends geeks. Personally, he moved me away from all my other friends because he convinced me that they were not disreputable just because they drank alcohol and/or smoke. I was stupid enough to listen to him…

All those who do not eat organic and do not do 2 hours of sport per day are pussies, he said. Indeed, it is necessary to be ready to survive when we will have the revolution in France thus he train to fast for weeks and everything! His delirium is the army, but he will not join. He loves authority, discipline, intransigence. But just when he is one who commands.

His communication skills are close to zero: since high school people find him weird, nobody likes him. Except me, who always gives a chance to everyone. That is objective to say that he is rigid and full of principles. He denigrates anyone and I realize that I started to do the same, which does not make me very happy.

His deep belief is that you can not succeed if you are not Jewish. All those who succeed are Jewish or have converted. It is for this reason that he tries nothing to succeed in life. According to him, Jews govern us, use us… and if we enter the system (by working) we are working for them so it’s not worth it.

Their goal ? They can buy a spaceship and leave us when the Earth will be destroyed by pollution (it’s true that he told me that). He is hyper racist and drinks the words of Dieudonné.

Oh sorry, I forgot, there’s not only Jews that use us. There’s also pedophiles who govern us. They are either Jews or pedophiles those who have the power … and they sacrifice children in rituals and cops stifle business. His evidence: there’s evidence on Youtube! In fact, if I understood well everything, there are even sects (like Franc-massons or Illuminatis) that govern people who have the power who would be only pawns and oblige them to do what they want. Everybody lies to us!

Those in power want us to die, they hate us, they put poison in the food so that we all become sterile! Once I had invited him in a evening pancakes at my home, he had come but had eaten nothing and had explained to everybody that it was some shit. A few weeks later he had a date and invited a girl in at a pancakes-shop. Look for the error!

He is super preachy: for example, if you’re sick it’s necessarily because 2 years ago you drank alcohol (he told me that it was the cause of my depression) or because you took some Roaccutane (he took some too). There is always a New Age explanation to make you guilty to everything !

Everything can be explained by what he calls “lifestyle”. I realized later that this is a way for people who fear death to go away from it intellectually. “I cannot die because I go in for sports and eat organic food.” At the beginning it is good because you progress but after it is TOO MUCH, he has no limit, and you explode because he is never satisfied nor encouraging and absolutely not teacher (ex: to motivate you he calls you pussy it is never good enough for him). Roughly, he feels good in a domain thus takes advantage of it to criticize everybody… As soon as he sees a guy an actor or whoever topless who has a hotter body than him he claims that he necessarily takes products. And the only sport which is good it is the tae kwon do all the rest is fatal.

Besides that, he is inhabited by Hate. He calls people big bacons “, or “shit bags profiteers” and asks the RSA. He spends his days on his computer or on his guitar. He so much has nothing to do nothing that he recognizes in bars the girls who are on Adopt even if he did not speak to them. He just goes out at night to “do push-up” in the park. And if you do not go with him, you’re a “pussy gay”. He hates the fat but that doesn’t prevented him from banging one. He hates the smokers, claims that they have the pussy dry and that he can see the difference, but that does not prevent him from dipping his dick there!

Doctors cannot be trusted, do not respect them. To cure : you just eat organic and play sports. The doctors even want you to be sick to be paid. They have contracts with labs and prescribe you meds that you do not need even if they hurt you just to earn commissions.

He sees the worst in the human beings. Once he decided to drive a girl met on Adopt, he found that it was too easy to pick her up in his car, then he freaked out that that is an ambush by procurers. Just writing all that, it drives me crazy! How to live with such beliefs? I understand that I became depressed.

I think he was traumatized because he was lonely when young (a Gothic in a high school full of gold coins). And also by the fact that his mother left his father to start a new life away. Only to say that the metal is the only good music because it delivers a message not commercial and that all the rest it is necessarily some shit, it is not very normal.

Well, I probably forgot some stuff but I think he had enough.

Before finishing, one last anecdote that describes well the character: we had gone in a medicine party, he had paid the entry €10then had gone off the deep end and did not want to approach so he sat on a bench in the entrance of the club and had spent the whole evening alone on his phone there. On our way back: crisis of nerve, “never again party like that, I don’t want to kiss alcoholics, that does not interest me, etc.” The next week he wanted to go back there with me in the eparty, I confronted him, he admitted that he has some approach anxiety. OK…

The last conversation with Padawan (commented):            

Padawan: I personally will stop to write some FR… it’s useless it’s to seek recognition… to what end? To become like Soral ?

Comment: 1) he did not write much FR anyway since he did not fuck since I don’t go out with him 2) like that at least he is sure that I cannot do the same thing and poke all his targets. While playing the “good guy who is above that.”

Cyprineman: you got a conscience crisis or what? it vexes you we can get you back into question? admit that you did something stupid and we forget it … it personally disappointed me a little then do not play the victim
Padawan: stop your techniques it works only on weak minds
Comment: Note that this is his great fear, being a weak mind. He criticizes everybody, society and everything. We’re all idiots. Besides that, he still lives with his father (he calls him stupid just because he drinks Coke) while he has his chemistry bac+3 degree and stopped his studies 2 years ago. He has no job, postulates nowhere and ask the RSA but calls everyone parasites.

Cyprineman: noone can tell you anything that is a problem
Padawan: the one who cries it is you huh
Cyprineman: normal well … we should let you do everything and never tell you anything
Padawan: I did not do anything and you know it very well it’s your ego that is talking
Cyprineman: yesssssssss that’s why you did it in secret while usually you send me message during 48 every time you talk to a girl I get a pad on Facebook or by SMS
Padawan: I do not owe you an account
Cyprineman: yeah well then just when you send pokes, lock chicks I have not fucked and you’ve not read like my FR about her before like that you’ll really owe me nothing … why you do not want to admit that you abused?
Padawan : but it is you who assume that I owe you something it is the comeback of the paranoid lol I told you these manipulation techniques do not work

Comment: I still have not understood why he says I was using special manipulation techniques there. And he calls me paranoid (maybe I am a bit with everytime I have been taken for a fool in my life) but I feel he is as much or more than me.

Cyprineman : I am not manipulating, I ask you a question and you’re avoiding
Padawan: wrong! you ask a question with a statement inside it’s called manipulation
Cyprineman: I see that you’re an incredible bad faith

Comment: maybe I manipulate but I did not notice it even by rereading several times. You will say that this FR is a manipulation in itself but I put the full conversation so I hope I will remain objective although of course I spend all this through the filter of my rancor (how can I do other way?)

Cyprineman: You pokes chicks I fucked knowing it well (it lasts for several years)
Padawan: so what?
Cyprineman: now it’s over the pokes of chicks when you know that I have fucked or I’ll believe you used me
Padawan: I used you absolutely not and I do what I want J

Comment: this, it means “talk to my ass my head is sick.”

Padawan: you expose yourself on the Internet by telling everything that is a bit naive
Cyprineman I know all your sex stories and I’ve never do something in your back not even just poking a girl you targeted
Padawan: nothing prevented you from that
Cyprineman: you are hypocritical

Comment: it is a little easier for him to say that no? The rules and respect are just for others and we are stupid if we fold it to live in community?

Padawan: So ok if you have a girl in your friend list she is locked
Cyprineman: nevermind

Comment: there it is a rhetorical technique where you push the argument of you interlocutor to the extreme in order to make it absurd. And I am the one who uses techniques of manipulation??

Padawan: ok but I will still poke in your friends list;)
Cyprineman: because you’re a selfish to whom we can say nothing then
Padawan: yes yes I am a big selfish that’s true that’s why I made logos & videos for you and I defended you in the street

Comment: for logos and videos remind he uses on his website as ad to sell his designer services (nobody actually buys because he has not the slightest degree). About having defended me in the street two years ago “thank you” but remember that if he was not there I would not have sat down on the floor in front of my home with him until 5am and none of this would have happened (and I would not have post-traumatic stress). And he defended himself too.

Cyprineman: You have both disappointed me (him and The metallers who is his best friend) in quick succession and I am willing to move on if you stop systematically trying to pick up the chicks I fucked
Padawan: I say nothing anymore
Cyprineman: normal there, it destabilizes you a little then you do not answer anymore Mr. Padawan is always right
Padawan: it does not work your techniques of pussy

Comment: of course, he did not say anything when short of arguments. It avoids saying something stupid, btw.

Cyprineman: I’m not happy about something that you did, what crime of lese majesty! Always say amen when it’s Padawan
Padawan: you’re not even able to understand when you’re trolled or not
Cyprineman: and yeah I’m too stupid and you’re too smart
Padawan: oh yes

Comment: After they tell you it was some humor and you have understood nothing! Easy, the exit door! After with the metallers, they believe to be superior intelligences, to be right about everything, the others are just idiots who do not think for themselves. But ultimately, are they sure to be so smart? One is unemployed, has intensified in high school and has just a little license of chemistry. The other (who claims to be misanthrope too) does a thesis of course but it lasts for 5 years I guess and he doesn’t want to work alongside. They are both intolerant and encourage mutually! With them it is everything or nothing eg before they liked everything on my blog and made my advertising and everything then from the day when I told them that I was fed up with their practices they stopped everything and began to denigrate me by using what they adored before to criticize me.

Cyprineman: so much the better, unlike you, my goal is not to annoy you
Padawan: me neither … your reaction is disproportionate! all that for a territory to prove you’re the biggest dick because we’ve been bullied when you were younger

Comment: There it is interesting because the long haired up to the ass Gothic that nobody liked in high school and that no-one was talking to … it was him.

Cyprineman: I must first find them and fuck them so you to feel the balls to game them rather effectively
Padawan: I will signal that I do the same with others huh my rabbit
Cyprineman: other you kiss but who never call you back that’s weird huh
Padawan: you know very well that it is statistically it happened three times because I’m tired of all this precisely
Cyprineman: statistics, they increase when aiming chicks I fucked
Padawan: this is normal those chicks are open they were not frightened by the womanizer you are
Cyprineman: they are open because I opened them yes, and because I put them in good conditions … the situation is unblocked
Padawan: you’re like john or Soral you have a problem with your dick
Cyprineman: it makes me feel used and taken in traitor by a guy who said he is my friend … and when I tell him to change habits that bother me, he answers no
Padawan: if I had taken you in traitor I would not even have told you I’d poked them
Cyprineman: yes, of course, you’ve vaguely told me three months after doing so… when she started to answer

Comment: the argument “you got a problem with your cock.” It’s funny, I could get out the opposite argument “you’re frustrated because you do not have sex.” In any cases, you’re fucked with this logic.

Cyprineman: it is you who hate Jews, I hate noone eh
Padawan: not related but well Soral is a degenerate cock
Cyprineman: yes the link is Soral. Well I told you what bothers me, will you stop doing it?
Padawan: Because you won’t speak to me about your conquests and you’ll keep anonyma them how you do want that it happens again?
Cyprineman: it’s a shame that I have to get there

Comment: there he is pissed off because I did not tell him who is Red pants.

Padawan: Imagine you fuck a girl and I think that’s the woman of my life … I do not have the right of poking her? and I have to live frustrated because I have to respect your territory?
Cyprineman: The banker, for example, she was the woman of your life? or you’ve tried to pick her up to empty your balls?
Padawan: well I cannot know without having fucked them 😉
Cyprineman: ok this is you want to take me for a fool again
Padawan: stop making the child

Comment: yes, there he really takes me for a fool. I am up against a wall of bad faith.

Padawan: you know I’m sometimes sentimental
Cyprineman: when it suits you yeah
Padawan: I signal you that I am like that and you have not managed to change me huh … you trained me (I did not say it was wrong)

Comment: now he pretends to be a too romantic guy who is a victim of my influence of asshole. Meanwhile: it is not me who broke the arm of a girl in a party just because she had upset me.

Padawan : but now we are having a discussion of girl
Comment: yeah, the guys fix it in the blood, it is well known.
Padawan: no woman is yours

Comment: yes, but I never said anything like that.

Cyprineman: when you send profiles chicks you’re trying to pick up on tinder, I should send a poke everytime then
Padawan: If you want

Comment: it is easy to want to push myself to be as petty as him to be able to blame me then.

Cyprineman: I’m not like that … if you do not understand that these practices are not correct then this is serious
Padawan: a girl that you fucked will not have to choose while if neither of us did … we both occupies his mind and his time
Cyprineman: well then it’s me who does the job every time and you pick up after

Comment: I basically fight all the chicks fears about one night stands, I fuck them well so that they will want to have other plans like this and he comes after me and picks. In return for ten bitches he fucked thanks to me, he had to introduce myself to two in all and for all. It’s better than nothing but by doing so he hoped I fail! To prove that he had the biggest dick precisely! I think that one of his main problem is the envy. The logic of the envy is we are not jealous of a millionaire but of a buddy who won at the bingo, yes. Because at one moment we felt “on an equal footing”. He has almost never wanted to open a book (nor even a thing about the game) but because he began seeing frequently me he began to be mad at me to be more successful than him. It’s human !

Cyprineman: I am a wholesale pigeon
Padawan: well you’re going to complain

Comment: if I got it, you can strip the money to a guy if he is rich. Robin Hood !

Padawan: ok stop you’re sick … continue EMDR I hope it will usefull
Cyprineman: I’m treating myself at least

Comment: it was not only to have the last word that I said it, I really think he has a big problem. Maybe even worse than me because he is completely in denial.

Padawan: I expected that
Cyprineman: I ask you not much
Padawan: no you’re doing it alone so handle your shit

Comment: there he is offended. I had touched a nerve.

Cyprineman: lol you reject me for girls it is serious dude
Padawan: you tell yourself that you are strong then fend for yourself
Cyprineman: it is a pity that you don’t want to do any effort on it I do not understand why you do it
Padawan: sorry I do not want to live again what I lived with L**** and with now a friend, this time I will preserve myself good luck

Comment: L**** is a girl who was raped and then twisted on antidepressants (his version). L**** is his first girlfriend who cheated on him with a black junkie who then told him she was raped (version of the metallers). In all cases, he recently fucked her again. So well…

Cyprineman: life again what? a friend ? you have a strange concept of friendship
Padawan: shut up now

Comment: I have not understood or is message is unclear?

Cyprineman: I say we forget everything but in the future we do not make the same mistakes… and you’re telling me no, I have to live it how?
Padawan: you tire me know that if you do anything to hurt me I will destroy your reputation
Cyprineman: and then you threaten me to send files?
Padawan: it is a setting not a threat you’re crazy that’s why I’m tired
Cyprineman: oh well I’m a freak?
Padawan: I exaggerate but you understand very well take care of yourself or I do not want to hear from you again
Cyprineman: have you understand that it is you who say no to everything ?
Padawan : you’re hurt and I cannot stand your moods
Cyprineman: there I suggest you not sharing chicks anymore for a healthy friendship
Padawan: I already told you that the problem was not there you think superior you can do anything while pouring in rancor and hatred.

Comment: Of course yes the problem is there. This reaction shows it well.

Padawan: I’ve already explained
Cyprineman: well explain me again and this time I’m listening
Padawan: it’s been months that I tell you even before Stephane told you … you have to stop with your dick and this desire that eats you! there’s only women who push you in life you get up you mess lives you eat to have a seduction harem you do not even fuck and when someone comes and take a woman you are not able to handle this so we’ll stop here you are locked in your bubble of seduction and all that crap (I say bullshit in the sense that it is not healthy not in the sense that it does not work)

Comment: it is totally wrong that. It is not me who get up at 1pm then spend my afternoons on the blog of Soral and Youtube to watch videos of shit then sport during 2h at 7pm then go back on the computer up to 5am. What I mean is that I have other things in my life, me. While there he will tell me he has sport and music. Sport maybe but it is his religion he goes too far with that it’s a problem and he could not do the same if he had a life outside. And the music, if you think one day live thanks to ii (or if you wait for it to happen before leaving your father) you put your finger in the eye up to the elbow.

Cyprineman: well why? I told you: we move on and we do otherwise
Padawan: we will see in some time maybe
Cyprineman: I cannot do more, if you tell me no you reject me and that it’s just excuses
Padawan: there’s no “we will another way” thing because it will always be there
Cyprineman: the problem is that I have a depression and I try to get out without the meds … you sermon “without pills” but you like the metallers who takes whole tubes of anxiolytic … it is less boring
Padawan: No I never wanted him to take medication
Cyprineman: yeah well he took and that’s why he is bearable if not he would be in the same condition even worse than me
Padawan: not necessarily

Comment: the metallers he’s a guy who claps crises alone where he bangs head against the wall, where he insults people on FB, etc. In 2013 he told me that his (single) ex had complained against him for harassment. He said she was a bitch who exaggerated. Now as soon as a girl is interested in him a little bit, it ends she complains of being harassed. And he always denies! I think he does not even realize ! Before, I believed him, until he starts acting like that with me. That day, I understood … so yeah, I think it does him good to take antidepressants. Moreover, the metallers one day started to flirt with a girl that me and Padawan had gang-banged. Miraculously he managed to fuck her (once will not hurt – I still do not understand how or why) and there Padawan felt as bad as me but he made the fake-ass and did nothing and said him nothing. It is me who had a heaache with him. Padawan did not support me, just in the shadows. Maybe he was playing a double game, on reflection, that’s really courageous!

Cyprineman: so you’ve got principles but apparently your comfort always comes first
Padawan: every case is unique
Cyprineman: you reject me because of my depression
Padawan: you want me to all with you

Comment: people, it is often that. Full of principles! But when they have to realize they rarely follow their principles. That’s why the French have followed the Nazis while been able to look in the mirror again after.

Cyprineman: I hope you’ll step back and understand how unfair you’re and you’ll not be too proud to come back to me
Padawan: nothing to do with that I’ll just wait that you’ll feel better

Comment: So, basically, we’re friends but just when I’m not sick. What a little motherfucker! After that I removed him from my Facebook. And I do not regret. I do not want to hurt him but I do not miss him. I prefer to leave him in his world and coming back in real life.

Thereafter, for him?

Now that I will not be there to bring him chicks, what he will do? Going on an online app (ease), take the first coming and to couple with her.

Then call her “pussy” force her to play sports, play the romantic while he is dying to fuck others, to eat organic, only fruits and vegetables, talk to her about his theories about plot, denigrating everything and everyone (especially me I guess), fuck her without condoms because he cannot have AIDS because he makes sport and eat organic (yes he told me that). You understand, his immune system is at his top!

She’ll piss him off, he will call her idiot but won’t tell her. He will stay with her a few months while it no longer works “because a girl with me should be treated like a princess.” Then they’ll break up because she will understand that this guy does more bad than good although at first it can give good advice on the lifestyle, he is way too extreme.

Well, pff. Especially the guy still said a few months that he would not go in a serious relationship with a girl he barely knows, especially if she is not blonde, tall and Nordic. Lately he had a date with a girl but fantasized about her sister, true story.

Completely incoherent, this guy. He said that life was better anywhere else but here. But he never did anything to move. He prefers to remain inactive and lament. And above all, criticizing those who do things.

The positive: I fucked a girl in my car.

I found on Tinder a girl who I was just talking to in high school. We said hello, I made her jokes (I was a clown before) but that’s it. She was cute.

I had not said to her that I recognized her at first (we lost touch after high school) but I told her after sex. Like what, it is never too late to fuck a girl but it’s not a reason to procrastinate.

Online game very classic : I did her the routine questions, one of the most powerful techniques I know and that I give for not much money considering its power in my ebook about seduction online.

When asked about her fantasies, she replied “I want to make love in a car.” I have proposed to carry it out, she played the holy hypocrite but I played the game : the one who reassured her and everything.

We finally went for a drive and I fucked her on my back seat. Not without tachycardia.
Otherwise, the English I mentioned last time, it’s case closed too. But I’m too excited to further develop.

See you later.

I leave you with Padawan’s last FR full of bad faith (3 November 2014):

Yesterday I was on a mission with a pole dancer. I must say that I did not really like her face in the different pictures she had put online but her little body looked firm so I went there!

Place Richelme at 21:15. I finally went on the fountain of the Town Hall Square in the meantime because I was ahead. I must admit I was stressed to death! “And what if she is ugly! I’ll have to bear the whole evening” I said to myself… well my stress has vanished when she arrived. A small blue-eyed brunette pretty class, very very fine and full of good energy! We begin to look for a bar while chatting: it was a misery because it was a Sunday and also because there was a match of the OM (Mongolian Olympic). I let you imagine the atmosphere in the bars … We ended up at the mansion. There were not many people. It’s been a while since I had not gone there.

She takes a mojito and me a virgin mojito … “ying and yang” I said. She then tells me she has just been hypnotized by a guy in a show. So I took the opportunity to say some bullshit. I was a little less relaxed when a band came just next to us to watch the game! Her, she does not care and tells me that she has a difficult past, she saw a guy dying at Les Prêcheurs in her arms … because of a ball. Outch! I also told the aggression of last year … We talk a lot about sport and that, it makes me happy J

The manor then locks so we go onto a bench at Les Cardeurs, she is cold, so I let my hands wander on her back, her thighs. Then we each meet a friend, what reduces the voltage but I manage to raise the temperature quickly. His friend also confused me with her ex! “Yes he had a square face and blue eyes like you! He was handsome” and I answer “I know I am handsome” with the appropriate subtext what makes her blush. Despite my heat, she wants to go in her car. She wanted to go but did not want it to end up there 🙂 She wants to drop me right next to my car, so we leave direction Les Prêcheurs (the place she wants to avoid).

Once there we talk again about hypnosis: she shows me videos it’s pretty crazy, I would like to understand how it works, even to game with! People fall asleep and cannot do anything … She said she is very tired (because of hypnosis and probably alcohol), I took her several times in my arms and she comes next to me to fall asleep then wakes up. At that time, she drools a little … I had already submitted her by the look so I did it again, go deep in my seat. At a moment she started talking I had an impulse, I grabbed her neck and I kissed her. She likes it and so do I, a little shy but very sweet tongue. I shortened it all and quickly went out of her car, as if I was running away. “With a kiss I feel better, let’s go to sleep,” she nods when I get into my car she looks at me still quite upset and happy.

In short, a nice evening! On the other hand, I wonder if she will send me a message … seen what happened with the last two ones, I do not know what block my game right now. It’s strange but I do not feel it, one more time! I forgot to say that throughout the evening, a guy she had seen on Friday (met on Tinder) kept harassing her … unbelievable … I’m glad to have realized the use of the subtext too. I thought about that all evening and I have to say it helped me a lot with the intonation of my voice it’s a formidable weapon! I’ll use it all the time J

Next night out, Tuesday or Wednesday, it depends on my favorite wingman!

The comments :

My answer: if you do not feel it, it’s a good sign because last time you felt it haha!
the subtext it’s a weapon of Cajun, you’ll discover in my translation coming out soon

His answer: Well after I got anxious because I’m afraid that it is repeating. An idea of ​​why and how the blocking point?

My answer: You lecture them too much (and you brag and you clear off as a thief)

His answer: But yesterday I calmed down: p and I did it before … it had not prevented me from going further several times!

My answer: you’ve maybe missed some pretty butts anyway

His answer: Maybe … and you influence me, me too I want 100% :p (1date = 1FC) maybe this is why I am not satisfied. One year and a half ago, it was so awesome for me to kiss a girl this way … Well she did not send the message, I did send one but I knew she was not going to answer. After all, I don’t give a fuck, she’s cute but not much : p

May the God of Game gives us all a penis AND a vagina. It will be easier!

November 28th 2014,

After Benzema in French national team, after Cavani in PSG and Thauvin in OM… here is : Cyprineman, the man who fucks up goal-scoring opportunities.

I subscribed on Tinder (click for advice to pick up on Tinder), two-three weeks ago, something like that. I’m not saying that there are no interesting girls on this app, there are. I’m not saying not that there are no attractive girls, there are. I’m just saying that I made it for the intellectual side of the online pick up… then that I made some shit at the last moment. For example, I negotiated sometimes hardly a meeting at girls’ flats, in the schedule I wanted, then I didn’t go there (I warned a little all the same even if it was at the last moment … something like 10 minutes before the date).

Why that ? I don’t know, I think that on one hand my anxiety attacks play on my libido. I am not in shape, all the time tired with lousy pains, the fear of bleeding and the ears that whistle. Then on the other hand, the fact that I don’t care of these girls. I mean that in spite of the fact I am kapout for almost 6 months, Virginie always stayed with me, always awesome, she has never disappointed me (needs to say that me too I teach her fundamental things like the carfucking, the streetfucking, the parcfucking and maybe soon the cinema-fucking (I dunno how we does but she always has free tickets)).

Isn’t it finally the ultimate purpose of the game, to find love? I think of all the guys who fuck girls without really liking women, without any real objective … just to prove to themselves things or to take their revenge in the infinity on this girl who rejected them at high school (big up the coach of Marseille !). I think that there are people who look for love all their life, and that we were lucky enough (had the opportunity) to find it, a little bit accidentally (by chance).

I’m not talking about a shitty concept which makes that we are OK together, I speak about a thing that happened in spite of us because none of us looked for love when we met up. And, since then, we are still very good together. It has been one and a half year now since we are in a “so called” open-relationship (“so called” because in the facts I didn’t do much elsewhere recently and she neither). I have affection, sex and love of a girl who is awesome according to my criteria. Sometimes, I don’t feel good, then she comes next to me, in my arms and puts her head on my breast while we watch a cartoon together and we fall asleep in front of as children. So, the game, I am a little about to say to myself that it’s time that we make a break, it and me. Or maybe not… My psychic balance is not very good then I do not know how I would react if I take out a domain of satisfaction of my life … I don’t know if I shall not fall into the darkness.

The main story

I thus game now in dilettante (since a few weeks) girls without any need and often without real desire for them. Indeed, what more could they bring me? However, the first day on Tinder, an interesting girl told me that she was going to unsubscribe, but she gave me her Snapchat a little bit hastily before. I added her but I received nothing, I did not understand why. In fact, I had an old version of Snapchat and received only images, not texts. Well, after she called me “noob” we a little warmed and I was entitled to any sorts of tests, like “I have two sexfriends yet, why would I need you ? (the answer follows)
– I am alone at my parent’s at 50km from your place, do you wanna come to fuck me? = > (5mn later) ah no too late they came back, you didn’t left, I hope ? (No, no, no risk it is too far)
– c’mon send me a picture of you naked and if we can’t see your dick it’s because you have a tiny one (no I don’t answer to pure provocation nor attempts to destabilize)
– I have a cold sore I won’t be able to suck you when you will visit me (so sad but I don’t buy it)
– You think that my ass is not worth it if you don’t invite me at your place (of course it is)
– You know that you approached my friend too on Tinder ? She looks interested, if you want I leave you together because we have not fucked yet together and I even can send you her number (no no we shall make a 3some).”

In brief, I liked that one at once. Already because she had a red pants on her photo of profile on Tinder, then especially because she is cute (brunette with green eyes, fair skin, attractive face) and very hot body (1m70, nice tits, flat stomach, attractive ass) with a soft/bawdy nature. Her description was “bi not follower”, and although that she tells me that it was a joke of Foresti, I smelt the curious heterosexual. She defines herself as a nympho “princess”. In the course of the conversation, she told me she hadn’t enjoyed for almost one month in spite of her two PQ (she abbreviates her sex things as the toilet paper it is rather degrading btw). I said to myself that it was maybe necessary that I do something for her, in my big indulgence.

Having let drag her case during a long moment, I decided to propose her a date. She was afraid that I am a miserable ugly and a serial killer in addition thus she dragged a little her feet (but not that much… anyway when I was not satisfied I answered no more and she did feed the conversation. I negotiated and eventually invited me at her home in Aix last Wednesday evening at 6 pm (arrived at 6:30 pm of course) in her studio (not to record an album with the sound of her groans).

I am not very well in fact since last WE, on Friday I was in Lyon for the funeral of an uncle and on Saturday we made the moving of my brother but it was a nameless mess and I screwed up two coast and the pond. For the gratitude of a guy who was only pouting speaking badly of me in my back in front of the removal men he had hired… Well, the positive, it is because my nephew even if her mother smoked during all the pregnancy was born and is normal. I wish him no bad things after all. He is not responsible for the bullshit of his parents.

In brief, when I arrived in the hall of the building of the girl, I was quite cold, and I had the pulse at 120. I said to myself “fuck, she will think that I’m impressed by her while in fact I’m just affected by Generalized Anxiety Disorder“. I leaned on the wall to give me some volume and I saw arriving a classy and joyful hottie, in a dress.

Arrived in her studio (former hotel room where the bathroom, the crappers and the kitchen make only one) : I made some remarks on the decoration to make her comfortable (it was very girly but she had cut girls’ photos in underwear from fashion magazines). There were a lot of apples in a basket there then I said “you are like Eve you are a little devourer of apples”. I asked politely if I could put my stuff on her office and she watched me to estimate me. Just to make me comfortable (irony), she asked me if the first message I sent her on Tinder was a copy and paste or not, then I had to admit my crime in honest security. She asked me if I wanted some tea (because I had told her “invite me to drink a tea or other stuff at your home
– especially other stuff!” I told her that no thank you, that it was just for teasing her that I had said that but that if she had made some I would drink it gladly of course. It was not the case, in any case. Problem solved. In reality, even drinking some tea puts me under stress, that accelerates my heart and everything.

Apparently, she was surprised by my simplicity, that it is cool. Otherwise, she is a big fan of mangas apparently : she watched some by waiting for me thus I sit on the sofa next to her. We talked of this and that, while I caressed her arm and leg casually. I guess that it warmed well her because at a given moment, she rose astride on me and kissed me in the neck and everything but not on the mouth. Then I did the same thing. That makes me laugh when it is the female who comes looking for the alpha male so that he fertilizes her while he is rather passive. The role reversal, it is classy. Like the lion in the savanna. Kiss. Then she told me that she was going to unfold her sofa bed. She got up, I caught her before she can do anything, kissed her then put my hand under her dress. It was dipped, then I made her come with my magic fingers. She said that I looked like my photos and that it was great because usually she did not invite the guys directly at her place and there is always something that fucks the deal up : excessive shyness, shrill voice, etc.

That did a world of good to her that I take care of her, I guess, because she removed her dress. I understand her, it was too hot. We unfolded the bed, I lengthened her above in her small quite cute pink underwear. I then made her enjoy with my tongue and my fingers. She would have taken food from my hands at this moment, I guess, so much she liked it. In brief, I lied down next to her, the time she needed to recover, then I unfastened her bra, she took off my pants and everything and sucked me (I had told her that sometimes it fall alone this damned jean but that did not happen that very day).

After 5 minutes, seriously, I asked her to stop: I could not handle more! A girl so hot, having warmed me 3 weeks on Snap, then there having made her come twice: I could not handle more, me!!! I told her to rise on me, we put a condom and she fucked me. It was funny: she too much wanted to know if I had condoms in my jacket while she had some in her drawer, it was to be sure that I was a not guy who had AIDS. Careful and interesting strategy!!!

Then, she showed me her dildo (she named it Dorcel), I reloaded, took her in missionary, she told me “oh yes oh fuck you are just on my G-spot go on” then I fucked her very hardly and she came one more time. She asked me how it was possible that I made her enjoy 3 times in 1 hour, mystery… I caught her hips to ask her to turn around and I took her doggy-style. Then, we a little spoke, she asked me why I was quite white like that. I had to tell her my problems. She told me “you cannot be cardiac dude, otherwise you would never have been able to make me what you have just made for me” or then “no you are too hot to die“. That pleases me to hear that. Finally here we are, if I can do it in my state, with a GAD, I think that you should all be able to dominate your body language like an actor, at least enough time to fuck hot girls.

Too cute and nice, the girl. Really kind. Then, she cooked me pastas in the shape of phallus (good girl), of different colors (in vegetables). It was funny. We a little spoke about her friends and about her PQ. She has a buddy who finds me ridiculous, and ugly, and who did not want that she sees me. Her other PQ, a kind of of fat-bellied Tunisian and with an any face (but you understand he is a DJ who has 1900 fans on FB ahalala – me I don’t care I have 14 000 of it) began to tell her that I had a big nose and everything and that I was ugly and everything. In brief, fortunately that she thinks for herself otherwise she would always be limited to these lambda guys who take themselves for geniuses but who are in fact big jealous persons incapable to make her enjoy correctly.

She had all the same 14 lovers before me. Finally, two serious guys, then lovers. She told me that she trained to kiss guys in clubs because her two “serious” boyfriends had not taught her how to kiss well nor how to fuck well… but that « When you learn how to suck then you know how to kiss ». Seriously, true story. When she asked me how much I lovers I had, me, I told her 61 girls to don’t frighten her too much (I have a little bit subtracted 100). She told me that thus from 61 girls of experience, fucks were perfect. Then she revealed me that what she looks for with her lover’s, it is:
– That he is funny = > understand: not weird
– That he has some experience = > understand: that he is a good fuck
– I’ve forgotten the two other characteristics sorry but both above are the most important for her.

What is funny it is that she started calling me Cyprininien after sex, while she had not read neither my blog, nor absolutely nothing. Thus those who imagine that if I fuck girls so easily at the 1st date and everything it is because they are sexual freed madwomen who warmed on my blog: know that it is wrong!!! And that you could do it too with the good state of mind and the good communication instead of being sick envious persons. Get to work!

Personally, that would have been enough for me to stop there. But, after eaten, the nympho princess has jumped again on her almost charming prince. She sucked me a good moment on her knees in front of the sofa then I banged her very violently and for a long time doggy-style against the desk, while she still had her top (me I had just dimmed my pants). I guess that I flooded her a new pair of underwear. Cool: I forgot myself and dismissed her.

Then, I made her a cuddle and went back home : it was like 1:30 am. I made a little aquaplaning on the road, it rained hardly, the route was dangerous and everything, but me I was just afraid of dying from the heart, half an hour after having finished the sexual intercourse… It is completely irrational, fuck. Every time there was a surge under the car, I saw myself having an accident and dying. By going back home, I was quite cold, quite white, I smelt like sex and I was afraid of dying. I went to bed like that by thinking that I would not wake up the next day. At night, I woke up: anxiety attack, shivers, then big bellyache … I immediately said to myself that her weird pastas had poisoned me, of course.

In brief, it is very hard all this, I cannot imagine myself at all in one month or something … I have a very short-term vision of things, life and very negative thoughts about everything. I say to myself that maybe, I have this negative faith saying that I am going to die by going in for sport or by fucking violently, then the fact of doing it and of seeing that it makes me absolutely nothing, well that makes mental conflict (incoherence). Then, my unconscious understands nothing and reacts by rises of fears. It is what I say to myself at the moment.

If it was not because that put me so bad after sex (nothing to do with her, she has just motivated me to move my ass), I would gladly see her again all the same “for the pleasure”. For once that a girl is hanndsome and dirty and cool and everything, is not a headache to me and sucks my cock well… why would I not want to see her again? But in the facts, I do not know if that is going to be made, because I have my mental that fucks up my life and because all the same I prefer Virginie who is my sweetheart (this has nothing to do as relation – you cannot compare).

Moreover, funny anecdote: both practice qi-gong (as well as the friend of Red pants that I tried to pick up on Tinder and that we will soon try to corrupt for a 3some because they spoke about it together and that turns them on). I guess that they go at the same class but I didn’t go farther into the matter too much. The world is really small in Aix.

The next day, I sent her a message to ask her if she had recovered well from turns of foot. She told me that yes, and that she looked forward to do it again… Awww sweetie !

Funny anecdote

I am now going to tell you another nice trying to pick up I made on Tinder. With an English. Since then, she does not stop sending me messages to suggest coming “to sleep” with me… and I pretend to be asleep or to have not received her texts. I do not think that I shall fuck her in the end because I am in crisis of ill-being at the moment but I put you the trying to pick up for love of the art. To understand well, needs to know that I have a photo on Tinder in which I have captain’s cap and mask – pirate’s eye. In homage to Cajun (I will soon publish my translation of his blog).

What excited me with her, it she that had a photo in which we saw her jumping almost naked into a river with just her little black string: “Tell me you were drunk when you jumped half naked in the water
– yeah, far too much wine! you make a good pirate…
– did you ever kiss a captain pirate ?
– No, it’s one of my life ambitions though…
– Lol you’re cool I totally adopt you as my new little sister
– Little sister is not what I expected
– Haha, i’m teasing you. Wanna take a bath with me ?
– Ah exciting ! yeah where do you live ? I’m in Eguilles“. Then, I took her Snapchat, sent her two-three topless photos and now she too much wants to fuck me. Cool! We shall see well what I am going to decide to finish !

In brief, I don’t go out often anymore, thus I game on Tinder. For the anecdote, I hated Tinder for a long time because I had an old version and thus saw only people who had the same version than me … ie 3 country bumpkins a week. But now that I updated the app, that gets better, way more people. Red pants was right: I am a noob. Lol.

Other news

About the girl Padawan wanted to fuck in the previous FR, know that he was rejected and is now extremely offended. After having been « a perfect east girl with whom he shared too many things » when he thought that he was going to bang her, he started criticizing the girl on all the domains… now: she is fat, not beautiful, do not go in for sport, is idiot, does not think for herself, etc. Interesting as psychological case…

I take advantage of this news section to tell an incident that pissed me off. There are guys out there who take a malicious pleasure with systematically poking in my friends’ list or approaching on the Internet the girls I fucked after having read my FR. It is not so much for the girls that it disturbs me, it is more for the principle.

When we exchange girls during an orgy, it’s a thing. But when the guys are going to try to pick up girls on Facebook because you fucked them it is a little a shit. I feel used in fact.

I aim here at Padawan and at his buddy The Gothic. To don’t name them.

It is human to think only about yourself and to use the others egoistically (I’m not just mad at them for that) : but it is disappointing, especially, to see that the others take advantage of the fact I am weakened. Even those who say they have values like Padawan. I would say even ESPECIALLY those who say they have values because they are in fact traitors. I fall from a height (come down with a bump).

Then, often they do not really assume because they know that that is going to annoy me but the call of the dick is the strongest then they go there all the same, and accuse me of not being cool if I grumble. Me, when someone tells me that such guy approach a girl, if I am also going to try to pick up her without speaking to him about it, it is because I really want to piss him off. Then, what could I deduct from their attitude? That these people who claim being my friends have at the bottom of them the desire to piss me off? They would be hypocrites who use me because without me their sexual life would have been very empty? Seen the difference between when I knew them and now (one had known only 2 girls and was in couple with a girl with whom he didn’t have sex for a while, the other didn’t have sex for 6 years)… I am entitled to wonder sometimes but well maybe it is simply that they are awkward in human relations. The benefit of the doubt lasts for some time.

The thing is that friendship and girls should not enter conflict like that… Then when stops the friendship for a pussy? When is it better to fuck a girl hoping that our buddy do not take it too badly rather than not fucking her and moving our ass to find another one…?

When we introduce me to girls, or even when I fuck the girls of buddies during orgies: I never contact them again after, to avoid this kind of problem, exactly. Then, I would like that the others also do it from now on (we cannot return on the past but we can act on the future).

Certainly, the girls belong to everybody (or to nobody), but when you pass by me to fuck friends of mine, I feel disappointed and like the fall guy. Especially when in the end, the guys in question progress little in seduction because when they try to pick up girls, they fuck very often only girls you have already fucked (and still that don’t work every time).Actually, with the other girls when we start from scratch, it works clearly less well… Curious eh ? Hey yes, when we read the FR, we have fewer uncertainties later, we know who to target and on which buttons to push.

There, I refused to tell Padawan who was the girl in the Red pants on FB then he grumbles. I don’t give a shit. I don’t want that he sends her a message or that his buddy the Metalhead The Gothic sends her a poke like « so I heard that Fabrice made you come three times you know I can give you orgasms too… » It is a total disrespect of the Geneva conventions of sex.

In brief, even if I become paranoid and even if I’m particularly bad at the moment (I am willing to admit that I am put under stress), I would prefer all the same that the guys in questions lead their own trying to pick up totally independent from me, on virgin of all known FR targets. Otherwise I shall eventually consider that they have a lack of confidence and that they take an unhealthy pleasure to prove to themselves that they “can” fuck the same pussies than me (even if they need 4 months to do the thing I quickly get). And going into this kind of fight of ego or of competition of lousy cock does not interest me.

Do you understand? The problem it is not that I’m mad because of the girls, after all everyone is free. The thing is because it gets on my nerves that they do not become independent and that they progress little finally. And, fuck off, I have the right of not being happy when it happens slightly too often, I have the right to be irritated when I make efforts so that the others do not find themselves in this situation but when those same people make so that it happens to me! And the answer « It is your problem if you make efforts to treat us carefully but us we do what we want » is not acceptable when you claim you are the friend of somebody.

Well, otherwise I don’t care, I have Virginie (they do not risk to touch her) and from time to time a hottie out of their league I find in bonus by myself (satisfaction++) ! In brief, let’s move on… but it had to be said!

Otherwise, me who am religious, I begin to give up the prayer and everything. I am so bad that I go away from what I would like to be. It pisses me off ! Besides my psychotherapist encourages me in this way… I do not know if it is a good thing, to lose the faith, to question everything.

Finally, via my blog, a guy sent me that “I’ve tried several coaches and you’re the best. Your blog is awesome. They all are big headed. Their stuff is just marketing. They are not honest. This is just the basics. I’m not at all impressed. They don’t like if you’re not bad. They don’t know how to listen to you. They have lost themselves in the game, but not you. Their ego lost them. It’s my truth. They just want money. The coachings are not really personalized : 5 people by session… pff. I’m glad you’re there.”

May the God of the Game be with us !

October 27th 2014,

My therapy is in progress. It is an analysis + EMDR with a doctor in human sciences. It is rather long as work on yourself (from more than one month to several years). In any case much longer than a handjob by Megan Fox. The good news is I am not crazy, and that loving so much women (as well as making love to them) is not a pathology. It is even a way to sublimate my fears and to evacuate my stress, according to him.

It also seems that my Aura stopped being weak and transparent, it is now purple: thus at the energy level I’m much better.

It looks effective, the EMDR, my mother does it too (we try to heal without pills). I dunno if I have already spoken about it here or not but since this Spring, she didn’t go much out of her bed and drank 7 coffees a day to do… not much. While complaining about an intense fatigue. She has 4 or 5 sessions ahead of me and there she is finally cured of her depression, in mode “awww life is so beautiful we have to enjoy“. Awesome when you know that ten days ago, she got up only to eat and grumble. She had a click and feels much less oppressed in the morning in the awakening.

Well… I am not there now, I am still afraid of dying, it is irrational because I have nothing but well that is the way it is. More or less constantly, I say to myself that I am going to fall, that my strengths are going to abandon me (sudden death). And when I have a pain in the arm or in the breast, then there, it is the end of the world (symptoms of the infarct). But on the other hand when I feel absolutely nothing, I am afraid that my heart stops. I always anticipate the worst: I imagine to feel faint, to lose eyesight, to become handicaped, etc. In the end, up to here nothing of all this happened but these thoughts and this permanent osculation persist beyond the logic and exhaust me.

I am in a case of neurosis it is hard, but well it seems that I can heal. Furthermore, being neurotic guarantees me that I am not psychotic nor pervert thus it is rather reassuring (structures of the personality). There is always good things in bad things. And, by the way, everybody is neurotic. At some point.

In fact, I have physiologically nothing according to doctors but my spirit complicates things, and it creates some stress. The irony is it is this same stress that can make me sick for real, in the end. I don’t know how I put myself in this situation, so it is difficult to know how I am going to go out there… But I act now, I have stopped being my own victim, even if it still requires a permanent effort. Like, even if I am frightened to death, I makes few hours of sport abs, kicks, stretching (I have not gone back to tae kwon do yet).

I go to yoga too. I’ve found a really nice and inspiring teacher. She was cured of a multiple sclerosis thanks to yoga. This scerosis was due to an intense guilt due to the death of her sister, according to her, as well as to the fact that she really felt ill at ease. She also made a heart attack but death does seem to put under stress her more than. She tells me that it is just as when we change car and that anyway “whatever happens, happens“. Me I absolutely don’t wanna die especially because it would hurt those who stay and who love me (Virginie, my parents…) She also makes me Enelph massages with finish. There is just acupuncture I have not tried yet, but I had already gave it a try briefly few years ago. And that had not given much result.

I also cultivate the positive thought and I feed on healthy readings as “Le corps quantique” that speaks about the huge potential of cure of the human body and mind. But I remember also a lot of bad or negative things in all this: for example, what perturbs me is the only example of nocebo in the book: a guy who was so afraid of making an infarct that he thought about it all the time and eventually died from it while the doctors had found nothing. The yoga teacher also puts me under stress a little by saying that my ill-being can come from waves of mobiles or wifi… and that there is nothing we can do about it. Well, it’s really a mess in my head. I’ll finish paranoiac !!!

Well, big amelioration, on Saturday evening: we went out in Aix with Padawan. First night out since May, I guess. Thus it is a very good sign (as when a girl suggests you taking her back at her home to watch a movie): the phoenix is reborn from cyprine.

The story. I have Internet that works very very badly at the apartment then Padawan tried to fix it on Saturday evening but well … nothing to do. My access provider should send me a technician. I’m sick of it because I fell in love with the girl who plays in La crème de la crème (I could put her some cream everywhere) then I can’t wait to download the movie. I guess that her name is Alice Isaaz, and she is my new virtual darling (fuck she is naked in no movie).

When we had stopped crafting, it was already midnight then we said to ourselves that we would maybe do better to go to bed (ease for me). Well, at the same time, my purpose is to do my best to fight my fears thus I said that it would be good all the same to go at least a few minutes in town. Just going out, walking, getting a breath of fresh air. We did not move of the sofa for all that until I pronounce this mythical sentence “we never know on a misunderstanding we can come back with two girls each” and it made my buddy Bob the builder react.

With this, we went out to face the cold. We joined a little bit hastily a girl that Padawan tried to pick up on Tinder all summer, a Czech. He already went on 2 dates with her but no kiss yet and she began to send shitty messages like fake-lover who questions on the attraction she feels for him. Needs to say that she was formated well by French silly bitches “the French men are hot it is necessary to keep them waiting and doubting so that they respect you“. No comment !!!

But this evening, she was with 5 foreign friends. Among which one pure hottie the kind deserving to pose for a magazine, an east girl too. An English cutie. A tall brunette with blue eyes. One who would be attractive but a little bit fat. And a really fat one (poor girl).

I made a bad joke in French to say hello: very beautiful and English cutie burst out laughing. I saw them a little as the golden medal and the consolation prize. I asked them if they had understood my joke, they told me that no and they have burst out laughing again. OK. Then, there were a lot of EC + smiles + they looked down. And then, they spoke between them by looking at me. I said to myself “I certainly poked them and they are saying to themselves that I am a pervert, otherwise that would mean that they all like very much me but I do not think I am such a handsome boy all the same“. In mode Aix-en-Provence parano.

They wanted to go to the IPM (piss-smelling club for foreigners). I was pulled between the fear of going out and the desire to follow the ass of the very beautiful who walked in front of me. Taken by the Padawan’s enthusiasm, I followed the movement of the buttocks (hers not him). Needs to say that it was not bad this curve, even if her pants did not really emphasize her. They came in free of charge, normal, they are hot. The entry cost us 5 euros. What an injustice! About Padawan’s target, I do not understand what he likes with her : plump, very short hair like a flapper … To me, average but well he did not touch girls for several months (when I am not here he has no result, it is astounding this lack of initiative and this return of his nature of AFC when he is with his other buddies).

In the bar/club, they stayed between them in circle, in mode “a little bit wild”. Two beautiful blondes spent their time drinking (I had never seen that certainly the new fashion: a glass of alcohol and a glass of water at the same time) and to stare at me, so to speak. I tried to look cool by resting me against the bar and by maintaining their eye-contactss. But I was fucking put under stress inside. They came talking to Padawan (“why don’t you dance ?
– did you ever see James Bond dancing ?” and they avoided me. “Do I smell?” I wondered over the moment. I have a rather negative internal communication in fact, I realize it, certainly the repercussion of my anxiety attacks. Fortunately, after a while, I got lost in the music and I did not think any more about my heart. I relaxed and I was able to game more effectively.

The 6 foreigners then went to dance at the other end of the bar by leaving us alone between testicles as idiots. Mamadou Segpa would have said “OK fuck off“. Then at a given moment, the English cutie came speaking to me, to tell me a commonness “why don’t you dance ?
– did you ever see James Bond dancing ? No ? Then don’t break my balls” and there I put my hand on her shoulder. To answer the disinhibited question, she put her hand on my hip. We looked at each other in the eyes, I made the Cajun’s technique of body language (I’m translating his blog) : she liked very much it, the rosbeef girl (sorry but I eat no meat anymore). At the moment I said English-style “I find you funny” and I gave her a kiss on the cheek, she tried to turn to touch my mouth. I smiled with a naughty face and she asked me why I was smiling so foolishly by looking at her then I told her that bodies spoke much more than words and thus I started talking to her about the “good weather” while caressing her thigh. I then asked her to show me how they dance in her country: she acted like a pure stripper. That turned me on. I asked her if she was a jukebox: I pressed on her nose and she began singing. Later I made a bit of cold reading, manipulative I admit it “you are a shy girl
– yes
– but you know what you want
– yes
– and now what do you want ?” and she kissed me. She wanted to dance with me then I put my jacket in the cloakroom “It is to put my jacket, if it is not obvious.
– haha. Are you superstitious ?
– yes why ?
– ok you had the ticket number 666 but I give you the 667 then
– thank u bro.”

Then she told me that her friend and Padawan had gone one two dates but that there they acted as distant friends. I decided that we were going to help them to conclude. She briefed her friend and I grabbed her ass to pass the time (to the English). She returned towards me “someone just slaped my ass” I roared, then she understood that it was me. I said that I was going to make it up for her, took her head between my hands and approached her mouth then I removed myself at the last moment. She left like hurt. They are all so sensitive !

So I visited her friend, the kind of very hot perfect model coming out from a fashion magazine but dressed like my grandmother (it’s OK because she is a fucking hottie then that gives her a style). It is maybe the fashion in the Eastern countries to be 50 years behind us speaking about clothes. I’m not kidding, I have already noticed this phenomenon on VK ( the Russian FB). In brief, I told her “someone just slapped my ass” (private joke) and she did not laugh, she even pout. Then a guy tried to approach her and she rejected him, I commented “c’mon he is a famous French Pick Up Artist” she did not laugh either, she did not look at me any more in eyes and did not smile any more. “Ok fuck off“.

So I said the same thing to the English. That made her laugh, HER. Phew. Then I accused her of having been nasty with me by leaving like that and I asked her to make it up for me. She kissed me again and this time I warmed her well, kisses in the neck, wandering hands (“my hands are invisible nobody can see what I’m doing to you, you are the only one who can feel them” (I should do the same speech with my dick)), etc. At a given moment, I don’t know why, I said that I was going to teach her a French word and I taught her “navel” (in French : nombril) so I connected to her with my index in her navel by kissing her. She probably found it very weird. Well, she took advantage of it to touch my abs by saying “nombril ?”

We looked for her friend and Padawan who had disappeared. In the smoker corner, she sat then I sat on her as a child on his mom. I was maybe not a good idea because it is childish (not dominating alpha) but well, that made me laugh over the moment.

At a given moment, she told me she had to leave. I answered “fuck off“. And she left the party. Padawan has FINALLY kissed his girl in front of the club. It seems that she said like a fanatic with eyes of dogs in heat “grrrrrrrrrr it’s not enough for me I want more“. They nevertheless went to sleep to the hottie’s, and we were not even invited. Pff, what a waste, 4 frustrated people while it could have been zero instead.

Out of the club at 3 hours, arrived at my place at 3 hours. Long live the time change!

Well then, Padawan told me that his friend had revealed him that her 5 friends wondered which one was going to fuck me. I was in a way the prize and that makes my ego feel good. Modjo ! They apparently like very much the French young men who look serious with their shirt and their glasses. Good to know.

On my way back, I realized that I had forgotten to take the number of the English. But it doesn’t matter, I was especially disappointed to don’t have fucked hard the beautiful model because she wanted me at the beginning and then was hurt that I choose her friend (in fact it is rather her friend who chose me). Thus at the same time the other one moved her ass so she deserved it whereas the very beautiful wanted that I pay her a drink of champagne “to celebrate the end of my studies” (mine in addition eh not hers). Venal but well with such eyes: we forgive her. I shouted “karolinnnnnnnnnnn I love you” on my way back. I guess that it is the God of the Game who had put her on my road to tell me that it was time to make my comeback (and not my coming-out). I am disappointed because I have not believed enough in myself (while every time I see a hottie like that I should say to myself that there is always one guy who fuck her and that she has certainly banged an uglier guy than I yet, just like Alice Isaaz who kissed Kev Adams, certainly it was in a movie but yuck all the same).

Let’s remember the positive: I am proud of having gone out!

I hope that we will see them again (needs that Padawan game well his girl): I should then play hardly to have the one that I want but well am I not Cyprineman? The best pussylicker in the entire city?!

In fact it has been a long time since last time a girl had motivated me like that, she could enter directly my top 10. My libido is back. But do not make a mistake on my intentions, like Rico “I respect her yihaaaaaa“. I just want to see her naked and to ejaculate by admiring her so much she is hot. Like DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street, I do not think that I would hold for a long time the first time in her (but we never know). Besides that made me feel good to go out and realize that the danger is the others (we were all the same paintball shot in the middle of the street by some riffraff)… and not myself. I wonder why I am so much afraid of self-destruction. Certainly something that eats me from the inside (but still of the domain of the repressed unconscious). Some when they feel bad piss off the world, me that turns against myself. Not lucky !

Other things : I took my examination too, the one that enormously made me put under stress. Well, when you do up one year for 0.75 points and when play your future on 3 years hours without catching up (1 test), it is normal to don’t be serene. Well, that passed well, I think that this time it is good.

My sister-in-law is soon going to give birth also. That puts under stress me, I do not really know why. I feel it badly, this story. Certainly the responsibilities connected to the fact of being the godfather of the son of two irresponsible people…

May the God of the east girls be with us!

I hope that this text will be published one day on my blog, because that would mean that I shall have get away from there. “The housewife under 50 will not like that, in Cantal we shall not understand this” : I DON’T GIVE A SHIT I tell things as they are on this blog because nobody else dares. I don’t care about little jerks who are going to try to turn that in mockery to feel reassured, because I know very well that it can happen to them too. And that day, they will take it in the ass.

September 23rd 2014,

I do not really want to return in writing on what I live since this summer. Because speaking about it depresses me. I shall do it maybe later, with the benefit of hindsight, so that you understood why I did not give news for so long. I don’t fool myself, most of you don’t care anyway, and are selfish. I sometimes wonder why I try so hard to help the others with my blog while I really doubt the others would give tit for tat to me if they had the opportunity. Well, let’s talk about nicer things. I a little enjoyed life this WE. I am going to tell you this positive anecdote. Because “c’est bon pour le moral“, just like La compagnie créole.

In July, a girl added me on FB. Hot hot hot. But I already had no energy, all the time bellyache, etc. then I did not calculate her during almost one month. Then, a beautiful day of August (no I’m kidding we had a bad summer), I was fed up with the fact that she defies me like that (with her blue eyes and her beautiful butt) then I decided that we were going to play a little. And not only Scrabble.

I have liked one of her photos, she has liked one of mine. Hem, player. I like that. I have liked again one of hers, she has re-liked one of mine, etc. Fucking preliminary! We played like that for a few days, then we started poking. Things became serious between us…

I sent her a message (she had a photo disguised as angel and I had one disguised as devil thus I sent her my picture by saying that we complement each other and that it would be good if we complemented each other as well in the bed), we talked and I took her Snapshat (advice here) after two days. From there, we started sending naughty photos. It was quite exciting. Well, me, I was hard seen her hot body. Her, she was probably wet too, not that I am an Apollo but any man’s body can have some sexual power on a woman if we know how to manage it (advice here bis). That’s what frightens them and urges them to be bitches as a protection. Among legendary Snap “do you like riding or being astride?
– I make no horse but being astride a mount why not “. Not too much complicated and a little bit naughty as a girl, roughly.

I admit that she helped me to keep faith in the future and in humanity (especially concerning girls) all this time… but, at the same time it was frustrating, especially when I was at the very worst. I said to myself “fuck if I was in good shape I could fuck her hard right now“. Fortunately, she was comprehensive, maybe because she is nursing. I did not lie: I spoke to her about my health problems, about why I had returned at my parent’s, etc.. That did not scare her off . So much the better. I was surprised for the better: normally, a sick guy, that does not interest girls… Finally, it is what I had learnt in the game, the criteria of attraction, all this shit. Let’s note all the same that some have the syndrome of the nurse and become attached to the guys with problems. Nothing is absolute in seduction.

Well, we sent Snap during more than one month. I tried to make her come by car on the parking lot in front of to my parents and to fuck her on the back seat there (she does not live far) but she did not want to. Then, a beautiful day, she told me she finally have the house of her parents for her alone. And she wanted that I come sleeping with her! I was terrorized, especially that I had not really fucked hard for a while… I was afraid of dying during the sexual intercourse. Finally, I said to myself that it would not be the worst of the deaths then I gave it a try. Then she is nursing, it is a little bit reassuring. We feel reassured as we can! I wonder moreover if what would bother me would not more be to feel faint with an unknown. Because apparently, it is rather that, that I risk. Not sexy. But well. It is not the topic here, thus I am briefly going to tell you this shit that happens to me (small private conversation) and we come back to the story. I spent a pedal effort test at the hospital to see if my heart was well and I became quite pale then they stopped me for “lipothymiques sensations” (the thing that means nothing even in French). I cursed my parents to have made me in kit with a heart that works badly. Seriously, I made them a scandal. I was unfair. Then, I had to take an examination to see if my heart was malformed and no it is not the case… Then I spent 24 hours of holter and the conclusion it is that I have fewer extrasystoles than average people… But I feel them more because I am very nervous at the moment. It is in any case that, the theory of the doctors. It seems that there are even people who faint because of nerves, and that it is mild too. I get knocked in the breast, it is terrorizing. In brief, officially I have nothing, but in the practice I remain traumatized by the fact of not having made a success of this effort test and I am afraid of making heart attack as soon as my heart accelerates now (in staircases or other shit). It’s serious! And especially: that makes my life intolerable! I take my pulse as soon as I don’t feel good, sometimes I don’t find it thus I panic. I was always afraid of dying young, I don’t know why… I say to myself that I don’t deserve it, not with all the efforts I make for my health but that life is inequitable. Hoping that she proves me the opposite! While waiting for, I am afraid of being alone, of feeling faint and that nobody is here to save me. I want to do nothing, no project, because I say to myself that anyway I am going to die right in the middle… so I force myself to revise my exams and to work on my blog all the same. But even that, it is not easy.

On Saturday evening, I arrived at her home at about 8 pm, to eat some rice, at least officially. Unofficially, it was rather some meat than I was going to eat. She informed me that her sister came back from work (Mc Do) at 9:30 pm. She a little showed me her house then kissed me in the kitchen as to mean me that it was high time to turn to serious matters.

Then, we began to touch each other and she led me in her room. Her dog jumped on the bed then she did kick it outside. Too bad, I liked her dog, a nice face and everything. I would have liked well that it looked had us fucking. No, I’m just kidding, I did not break down that much. Two doggy for me alone, and her pussy that was asleep in the lounge : that would have been very cool.

I licked her during a long moment (the girl not her pussy well finally yes but in brief you understood…) She was tasty then I wanted her since a long time. She came once. I continued to lick her, in fact, I was afraid of screwing. She could not handle more then she knocked me down, we put a condom and she jumped on me to fuck me. I was very good and soft like that, then I let her do. “Come what may” I said to myself. I not specially felt my heart neither malaise nor anything. Then, she wanted that I come on her in missionary. OK, after a while I was more confident and began to really break her up. Then she turned, I took her doggy-style by caressing her clit. I felt her sex contracting “oh yes yes yes“. She came again. It restored my self-confidence and allowed myself to ejaculate. It was good even if I would have preferred to finish in her mouth. I would maybe had to ask her. Maybe next time. Then, we made a cuddle, I was proud of me and especially satisfied to be still alive. We showered to wash away our sins.

Then, her sister came back and she wanted to do nothing sexual any more. I was a little disappointed because I would have fucked her again with pleasure… It’s OK because her sister is sexy too, we forgive her. We ate some rice and tomatoes, because I take care of my liver too. I have the total. She had made cookies then well I tasted them. OK, it was good. But I was really tired around midnight, no more the habit to go to bed so late nor to do sport like that… Then, we settled comfortably on her bed and she fell asleep. I was sad, first because of the sheets “The Little Mermaid” but also because we were tightened in this little bed and because she did not want to suck me nor to have sex again because her sister was close by (she could hear us but she did not want that she joins us) and me I was hard then I was frustrated. I hesitated to give a fuck or to go in the bed of her sister, but it seems it is not polite. I caressed her, warmed her and everything but nothing to do. Well. Too bad, I respect.

We a little spoke all the same before she falls asleep. She is two years younger than I, but we were in the same middle school. Then, we take the same bus to come back from Aix (I really had the impression I had already seen her). We spoke about our childhood memories, there is a guy from our school I used to know, a young riffraff, who sends her his cock on Snap. He wants her to suck him but he has a girlfriend but says “being blown is not cheating on her”. Her, she is not really tempted (at least that’s what she says). But receiving cocks on Snapchat is flattering, understand her. 😉

Otherwise, she told me that she had never enjoyed yet. Nevertheless she already knew 9 guys before me. There she developed “I have never had so much pleasure, that it rose so much, as I contracted, and then, well, I felt nothing more a few seconds
– Yes, yes, you came my darling, it is good for you that. And twice in addition“. Fuck, really needs that I survive this shit that happens at me because there are really too many sex educations out there to be made.

She had read some of my adventures. It is one of her nursing friends who had sent her my blog by advising to her “you should read the little Aixois“. Then I had a reputation of itinerant fantasy to be honored with these two girls.

When I thanked her for cookies and doggy style, she thanked me for the magic tongue and the turns of foot. Cool ! I also like the fact that she goes in for sport in particular self-defense. I would like to see her again one day. Especially that she symbolizes, maybe, the end of my “dark” period. Now that I touched the bottom I have the impression to take out a little the head of the water. Hopefully it is not just an impression.

I really had difficulty in falling asleep, still this damned fear of dying during the night. But once asleep, I slept well. Awakening at 11 am, a kiss and I returned at my parent’s.

On Sunday afternoon, I visited Virginie and I gave her 7 orgasms. Because I like the figure 7 (it is beautiful, it is full of itself). The man loses some energy by enjoying or rather by ejaculating but the girl by enjoying wins it then she was satisfied. It is a little bit inequitable the life all the same but well I am generous with her. I don’t know why but if I can do good to somebody and that it costs me not much, I do it.

Otherwise, I discovered her corent, with 6 girls in a house in Aix, it is cool. When I shall be in shape we will maybe make a huge orgy in the kitchen with Padawan. And play with food, of course. I want eggs on the dish. No, rather two nice little oranges.

Well, I was happy to see that, even sick, I still make quality one night stands. And fuck better than the average. Most simply of the world. That made me feel better. That restored a little my self-esteem.

It was cool and I had almost found the morale. But, in the afternoon, I had a not-very-good-news-I-don’t-really-wanna-talk-about then I go back a little in depression but I should not let go myself even if it is hard. And especially, it is not the moment to break down because I don’t wanna miss my diploma again (examination in October). That at least that, it is done : one less problem in my life. I don’t wanna spend another pseudo-sabbatical year like that. Besides I always want to go to Sydney next year. Well, in January that seems to me compromised… but why not in September. I shall fight up till the end, even in the moments of doubt, because it seems that this is the way we do when we have a winner state of mind.

May the God of Game and of the Health be with us.

PS : I answer quickly for those who asked me if my brother had read my article about him and his wife. I don’t know. He despises what I’m doing, anyway, thus I suppose that he does not read me.

PS 2: for the assholes who have nothing else to do than imagining that I invent a life with so many details, instead of being a pain in the neck to reassure yourselves : rather try to see how I can help you and say “thank you” (or read something else otherwise it is paradoxical to come read a thing that supposedly you do not like). It will be more pleasant for everybody! If you have not understood yet that I have never lied to shine and that it won’t happen anytime soon, then you don’t ascertain my character nor what I’m trying to do. Too bad for you. Stay in your glass prison.

August 31st 2014,

I’m still having a hard time. I would even say that I’m sinking more and more into the darkness day after day. Fortunately, a girl on Snap sends me photos of her perfect ass, that keeps me alive. A short brown haired nurse with blue eyes, with a really hot body like that, it is a real delight for the eyes that would make a dying become hard.

Even in the agony, I pick up apparently relatively effectively on the Internet, it is comforting! And I really need it at the moment (ie comfort) because the simple fact of typing a message on FB is a considerable effort for me at the moment. I am too under tension thus I am going to lodge a complaint against EDF (electricity company in France)!

Every day I have the impression that my future conjugates in the past, that I am going to die and that tomorrow will not exist. It is hard (and I’m not speaking about my sex for once)! There will be plenty of girls around my coffin there, as young people say, but have the decency to don’t try to pick up my ex at my funeral PLEASE otherwise I will come back haunting you (I don’t even know if a lot of them will come anyway – girls respect nothing anymore nowadays). I remember every morning with nostalgia my very first moments when I was just a carefree pre-genius. So, enjoy life before death put it deeply in our ass. Especially if you plan to have the politeness to don’t last long. “Tell me grandma, why do I have the impression that life is less good than when you were young ? Why do everything seem fake on Facebook?”

1/ Three weeks of waiting to have an appointment with the gastroenterologist. It was very long (more than me in missionary), especially in such a condition. He received me five minutes, hardly touched my stomach and declared “it’s stress, €50 PLZ.” It speaks for itself. He declared me that I was put under stress for my exams in October… while exams have never put me under stress like that but well the guy knows you better than yourself you know just because he has a bac+8 diploma. I threw his prescription to the trash and refused to shake hands with him by leaving.

2/ For my rates of adrenalin and dopamine that make break the score, the internal doctor of the hospital sounded me and everything and advised me to don’t make the scintigraphy finally. For him too, the cause, it is the anxiety. Definitely, this shitty thing explains everything according to doctors. I am persuaded that I am going to die and they all answer me “we all die one day anyway“… yeah OK if you say so but I don’t know for you but me I still have a lot of hot girls to screw !!!

By experience of consciousness, he prescribed:
– A blood test: NOTHING except a deficiency in vitamin D (like everybody according to him) and a liver vaguely out off standards… But nothing that justifies such an ill-being. One more who directs me to the psychiatrist. He thinks that I am into a depression. Great, but without reason?!
– A electroencephalogram: NOTHING.
– A test of effort and a holter to see if my heart goes well (in September).

Padawan tells me that it serves me right, that everything is the fault of my liver, that it’s because I have drunk alcohol when I was younger. Yes, yes, stay in your crazy by thinking you are smarter than everybody! The guys addicted to organic food have the impression that they are going to take away death with their lifestyle but well… It is just for feeling reassured and having a clear conscience because we can die from a lot of different manners.

6ft visited me at the hospital because she knew that I was enormously stressed. My parents were there too. My father had difficulty in recovering from it “fuck son… she is so… cute.
– I know.”

3/ The brother of Padawan has a friend he describes as brilliant, who practice holistic medicine and cellular reprogramming, and who cured him. Padawan tells me that he too much wants to go there but that he will go later (he says the same thing for everything, it was already the case for the cure of the liver in February, and in the end he never makes nothing). One saying, this guy was in a wheelchair without reason and now he is cured and became a sportsman. Even if I had no proofs of that, I decided to give it a try. What I did not know at that time, it is that there are cases of psychosomatic paralysis: thus, being persuaded that our medicine is going to cure us… actually cures us. The problem is that I don’t really believe in it thus if it is really just a placebo effect, that is not going to work on me. Paradoxically, I am too much afraid of the nocebo effect: that my heart stops alone without good reason just because I am afraid that it stops. Yes, I am conscious that I’m making a kind of bad trip without drug but that is not enough to take me out of it. And those who speak to me about lack of will can go fuck themselves! Hormones govern us that’s it. If that happens to you one day to be in this condition (I do not wish it to you), you will understand, otherwise it is impossible to imagine.

The guy took my pulse during 1 hour while approaching things. According to how pulse reacts, according to him, it is that my body speaks to say if it likes this or that. His diagnostic: I have no allergy but I still eat too much butter (awesome)… and I have a problem at the emotional level since I’m 12. And to scare me a bit more, he specified that it is the noradrenalin and that it is a problem at the level of the pineal gland (“the third wasted eye”). The kind of thing doctors never look of course because it is expensive, an MRI. €60 for that, I am perplexed. He tells me that my body needs prickly pear because my liver is attacked by Montsanto’s Round-Up. He sells me tablets without gluten of that as a wonderful cure… €50. Then, Padawan tells me that it is the doctors who have agreements with pharmaceutical labs… pff. All the sames. Long live Hypocrite’s oath. One evening, I tried to take a tablet of that and BAM: anxiety attack! I put myself in the head that I was just going to poison myself because it was not a natural thing. It is astounding, especially that I am conscious that there are people out there who are full of LSD or cocaine and who do not die for all that. Before, I took medicines, it was not a problem at all and now I can swallow no chemical thing anymore… seeing frequently the followers of the organic food at the taekwondo is undoubtedly not good at all for me!!! That just makes me feel guilty when I eat badly. In fact these people always have an explanation for everything : if you don’t feel good it’s because you didn’t eat this or did not do that or didn’t see this magical healer. Even one told me that it was like that because I had eaten tomatoes and melon during the same meal and that mixed badly in the stomach but yes!!! Other than that, our ancestors stuffed insects in the mud… An organic cup of tea and systematic moods… Fuck off!

My father had accompanied me because I was really bad and because it was really far. He really found him weird. According to him, he is a quack who takes advantage of my condition. Maybe, but I am so discouraged that I don’t know what to do anymore…

To note that this guy stopped exercising his activity a few weeks after my visit. While he pretended stars came from Paris to see him to be healed because he is a magician… Ah really ?! Not very coherent all this.

The brother of Padawan, by learning the diagnostic of his buddy, advised me another “magician” who removes the emotional problems by magnetism. Yeah well, kiss my ass now…

4/ I visited a priest exorcist. He told me a little what he saw in his career, that makes one think. I have no symptom of possession but he made me all the same a prayer of liberation in case I had a curse (evil spell) on me.

5/ I kept the best for the end. A friend of my mother came home this summer. By seeing me in this condition, she told me that she recognized herself because she felt the same thing some years ago. She explained me that her condition was due to the soul of her husband who was stuck to her and that a medium-shaman-healer had taken it away for her and that she had left by jumping as a kid.

In the point where I was there, I thus visited this famous shaman. By seeing me arriving, he told me “you are a pigeon (maybe because I came to see him) and you’re lacking of confidence“. I said no. He said yes. “Everybody uses you and everything you are too much of a St Bernard“. He is a little right there all the same, as a result, I decided not to dispose anymore of my digital products (which are all the same quality works – I spent many working hours on this stuff) and not to give any more too many things free of charge on my blog (it is necessary to help others but it is necessary to command respect for it too). I write obscenities for fun but I am too much of a kind teddy bear who risks to be used by birds of prey if I continue… I knew already it at the bottom of me but becoming aware of it and knowing that that is quite obvious it is hard. Always making the others come before you and rarely falling on people like you (thus being used) that wears you out! I look for reciprocity and people on whom I can count & who can count on me. I’m not asking for the moon all the same!!! I am too much an emotional sponge.

Then, he asked me “did somebody died because of the heart in your family ?” I answered “my grand-father when he was 96” and there I started trembling in a uncontrollable way and crying. He took my hand and advised me to let him leave. I left for cramps and then my mouth said on its own “WHAT AM I DOING HERE“… The clairvoyant sketched a small smile and confirmed me that Gaston had left. I felt so alone of a sudden…

It is true that the day before the day when my grandfather died, everybody went to say goodbye to him at the hospital because we suspected that he would not spend the night (he was not really conscious). But I was not able to. I was sick a little bit then I used it as an excuse to don’t go there. I did not accept his departure. I loved him too much, he was my model. At the same time physically (we looked alike / he was from what I know a very horny devil) and morally (he was straight and honest/he took 3 jobs to buy a house and raise his family – where we are now, we largely owe it to him). Apparently, he loved me enormously in return so his soul did not agree to leave without saying goodbye to me. As a result, according to this theory, I would have had death in me and would have got his fear in me (he made three infarcts thus he could be afraid of making one at any time), what explains my rather violent thoracic pains and in the arm too.

We chatted a little while the cramps became blurred. The shaman told me that I had no disease but that my energetic body was back to front. However, now, it was going to go back in place little by little. I rocked actually for a few days after that, while soaking in a sensation of total unreality. I a little told him my life, spoke to him about what torments me and the bad things I did in this life (I had by the way written an article on this matter in my previous Diary). Nothing very nasty according to him.

He told me that I am a very old soul. Apparently, there are tracks of that in our genetics and in the memory of the water of our body… blah-blah. Needs not to try too much to understand otherwise that remove all the magic of the trick. In another life, you should know I was part of the power in an Asian country… and after that I had a bad karma because I would have made people kill. For my punishment, I died in the war and things like that during several “embodiments”. And there, in my last life, I was a maffioso who enjoyed cheating to cards then I was shot down. Now, I do not have karma anymore (neither good nor bad) so it’s up to me (I have everything to make a success of my life)! This makes me want to become good, virtuous and irreproachable.

Before leaving, he also told me that the heart attack was a part of my range of possibilities but that he had taken it away. But, I should not think about it anymore so that it doesn’t come back in my fate. The shamans have for belief that the fear of the disease, led the disease.

One week later, I got better but I was not cured. Then, little by little, I dived back into my catastrophic condition. In psychology, we could say that he tried to make me do my mourning by strength and that the rest is the fruit of an anxiety attack + my imagination. He is or actually a clairvoyant and there is a lot of things that are unknown in this world (but that too much frightens me) or he is a very good cold-reader and he is able to read people in two seconds. In any case, mediums generally always talk about three universal problems: love / sex, money / work and health. There, at least, we weren’t in the cliché!

Anyway, we will know all this only at the time of our death. Moreover, the shaman told me that I was hyper sensitive, hyper susceptible, and that doubtless, I could “see” too if I worked just a little bit this gift. Awwww it is not the first time that people tell me that then that scares me!!! I really don’t want that ghosts come talking to me! At the moment, what I know it is that that it has again costed an arm and a leg to me this story!

Thus to note that he also said wrong things like for example that I had a younger sister but who would have refused to be embodied in my mother who would have had a miscarriage and thus sista would have been reincarnated in the boxer who wants my skin. According to these people, everything happens for a reason. But the thing is, I asked my mother and she has never had any miscarriage….

6/ The buddy of Padawan, Le Gothique, swallowed a entire tube of Lexomil this month because a girl preferred to go back with her ex rather than to be with him. It was not even a call for help it was a desperate need to draw the attention. At the hospital, they made him a wash of stomach then interned him in psychiatry. He is there for several weeks. It frightens me, I hope I won’t get to this point !!! And especially, this is what can happen because of girls so if you are an AFC take care of yourself, please, on this blog! 😉

Fortunately, my darling Virginie takes care of me during this delicate period. I don’t know how she can tolerate to have a boyfriend in this condition but fortunately that she is here for me!!! She tells me that it’s the least she can do… yeah, but the truth is that around me everybody goes away. I really fell on a rare pearl, who loves me for what I am. That is the way it is: when you don’t feel good, everybody distances themselves. Only real friends stay. And among the real ones, I notice that my brother did not call once this summer to know how I’m going (my brother says that I am being dramatic and that I am a useless person thus it is a little bit easy… I have even the impression that he is happy that I feel bad because that consolidates him in his mediocrity… I think it’s a shame to get to this point within a sibship) and Padawan when he calls me it is just for talking to me about his attempts of trying to pick up (I really have the impression to serve only to make him fuck). Hafid it’s OK. Some other friends also but really that’s not a lot. The fingers of a hand. Moreover I send to the others my middle finger.

Well well, I guess that I tried a little all the parallel types of medicine thus now, if I want to heal… I have to trust a little more science and conventional doctors. I am going to start with a psychotherapist (practitioner EMDR). We will see ! There, I am hypersensitive, I have difficulty in trusting whoever it is, I am so to speak, lost.

May the God of the Health be with us… otherwise it’s impossible to have a good Game!

July 31st 2014,

This story requires an introduction. I don’t remember if I have already talked to you about my older brother. My bro, as the kids say nowadays. Who is in fact my half-brother, other son of my father. I think that I did, but briefly. I am thus going to develop a little.

He is in a way my opposite. He is 6ft3 and for something like 221 pounds. He smokes 3 packs a day, drinks 2 apéritifs a day, does not go in for sport, likes criticizing everybody, is totally wild (he almost never gets out of his house), fucks only fat or old women and in any case rarely (we hear a lot about it). It’s not that he does not like the hot chicks, I can sometimes see him staring at them, but I guess that he is afraid of them. It is unfortunately the case of many men. However he rejects with violence any conversation about seduction (he is stubborn) and thinks what I write on my blog is not possible thus is a lie (limiting beliefs).

One day, he said that he wanted to take woman who would be lower than him in every respect. To dominate her. That shocked me because I’m the very opposite: I would like to take woman who is superior to me (or at least who completes me effectively)… This is why I make all this personal fulfillment. So, my children would be an improved version of me. Well, I hope!

Two years ago, he decided to get married. He thus registered on Meetic. He met a 40-year-old girl (older than him) with a strong accent from Marseille then unsubscribed. He warned me “she is not a hottie“. Actually, I was shocked when I met her. Not specially ugly commonplace face but really fat and thus with puffy cheeks, a fat ass and very hanging udders. The worst: she is not intelligent. I still remember the first time when we ate together: she said something like “Léo diCaprio if he came over he would not sleep in the bathroom“. My brother answered “yeah but I would kill him in that case.” Seriously how submitted : it is the girl the idiot not Léo diCaprio. And what a ridiculous conversation as if the actor would be interested in her! As for myself I don’t care about the life of the celebrity! And the wallpaper of the phone of his girl is a picture of Taylor Lautner topless in the rain, she doesn’t stop saying “ohhh he is sooooo handsome, don’t you think ???” Seriously everytime I wanna answer “heuuuu… I don’t care in fact how old are you seriously you look like a backward teenager“. But I contain myself : even if my father is disappointed too, the instruction of the patriarch is to do like if we liked her (because the mother of my brother already tried the frankness she told him that she was ugly and that if he married her she would disinherit him, the result was that he does not speak to her any more for 1 and a half year and insult her cheerfully in front of us.) Because my brother is a big idler he married the first one he met on the Internet, by ease. He justified the whole with a “I love her” and both overplay every time they are called “Heart, Love, etc.” Ridiculous !!! Well well… this is just my opinion. I wonder what he will answer when his kid will ask him how they met…

Now, the fat is pregnant but does not want to stop smoking (but she absolutely does not want to drink a drop of alcohol). When my brother asked her to stop: she answered that it was dangerous to stop. True story! Who wears the pants? As a result, he did not stop either. Seriously, that is what happens when you marry idiots: they dominate you because are lazy and understand nothing. You can tell them nothing nor make them understand anything, it’s serious !!! Besides, she and her mother say 100 times the same looped thing it is boring, it is agreed speech, it is some shit. The worst it is when his girl plays h2g “yeah I met a very handsome model on Meetic me“… what she does not say it is that the guy if he has a little of common sense and is not starved he ran away.

I hope that the baby will not be malformed because my brother begged me almost on his knees to be the godfather (after having thrown me a sandwich of I don’t remember what in the face by telling me “eat it is organic and you are too skinny“). Seriously, I’m sick of it. I am not very keen on but how to refuse (we inculcated me to never say no to family) ? I not at all want to oversee a boy who will be raised by an intellectually limited woman and her mother who speaks hardly French (because yeah they are in a ménage à trois since they moved together and there is a dog too, a long-haired yucky thing that looks like a cat and shits in the lounge: my brother kicks him with feet to play the tough person). Seriously, this girl thinks that with her BTS(TWO-YEAR TECHNICAL DEGREE) secretariat she is the most intelligent of the world and criticizes her colleagues and bosses (of the city hall of Marseille). And him, wishes that his son (because they is out of the question that it is a girl you understand) is a man a real one and thus he plans well to inculcate him the following values: tough education, alcohol, fag, racism, misogyny, vulgarity, being slanderous and official hypocrite.

I swear you: my brother is a champion of vulgarity. He worked a few years as truck driver while he has a master’s degree in law, just saying! Now, he works in a management agent and adores calling people to charge them, abuse them and sometimes send the bailiff to them. He always pushes away all what is culture. Sometimes he bawls above me as if I was still 8 years old (we have a ten years old difference).

I think that he is sorely lacking confidence and thus compensates for all this with a disproportionate pride and a wickedness to everybody. He is certainly very conceited because he allows to criticize everybody (we feel reassured as we can). But at the same time, when we have a woman like that, we cannot brag !!! It is not credible!!! The worst is when I introduce them to hot girls (hotter than her in any case), they both always criticize them.

His wife is really kind of girl who says this kind lousy saying “it is those who speak about it most who make it least“… heu lol me I talk about it and I do it. If they say so it is often because it is their own case to talk about it but to do nothing in fact. And in any case, these guys we unmask them (it is the principle of the shit-test) and then even it is ridiculous if after they’ve slept with a girl after having said that are hopeless in the bed in fact. Once she was shocked just by a joke I had made : her best friend took plane then I had asked if she had reached the seventh sky. HOW SHOCKING ! Idem, when I speak a little about sex (sweetened version) she answers “Ah but me I am not like that eh if you try to fuck me in the street or in your car you never see me again…
– Good because I absolutely don’t want you.” This kind of aggressive speech is held most of the time by girls who are not confident thus they want to develop loyalty of the guy before by the desire before giving him some sex (do not be dependent on a girl for your sexuality). They do not think that they can keep him without keeping him waiting or using other shitty strategies. It is really pathetic! My brother listens carefully then judges like a nice guy to align with her ideas (I think that he is a little bit jealous but does not absolutely want to question himself). Once she saw a picture of Padawan she exclaimed “HIM HE NEEDS PICK UP LESSONS ? HE IS SO HANDSOME OHHH”… Well yeah seen how girls work, he really needs it. Moreover in front of him even if she was young, beautiful and single she would certainly have been a pain in the ass. With lousy principles or I know not what but well that does not prevent her in the abstract from judging like that!!! What irritates me the most is the bullshit!

Now, his last lousy idea is to buy (while he is already put into debt for his car) a ruined house in the Var and to ask me to help him to repair it. A very yucky thing in a hole lost at 45mn of his work (thus 1:30 am of highway a day for him and 1 hour for her) when he would live with his wife, his mother-in-law (Armenian cleaning lady) and the future baby whose first name is kept secret (so I fear the worst).

Finally here we are, he so much repeated to me that the obese girls are awesome that I decided to try. After all, we cannot say that we do not like something before having tasted, normally. I belonged on holidays to Saint Martial in Ardèche (I like very much the kayak) and I had Adopt on my phone. I thus looked for a fat very yucky not far away from my position. Something like a 3/10 (I rarely do below 7 sometimes 6 if really she has some charm or if the context is favorable to her eg an alcoholic party). If possible susceptible like the other one, just to repeat the pattern. I found some… let’s say that with every sausages they eat in these mountains it helps!!!

I met one by getting invited at her place directly “thanks to” the technique I teach in my ebook about online seduction.

I seriously think that it is the worst idea I have ever had in my life. Frankly, I knew it that being curious, experimenter, tolerant, comprehensive and especially to try to understand people different from me was going to play tricks on me some day.

At her place, on her sofa, I looked at her and thought only of clearing off. Especially that, she bragged. It was unbearable. Already that when a girl has enough for her to brag it is boring but in her case it was too annoying. Then, I know well that she overcompensated but that irritated me. “Do I tell her why I am here in fact or what ?! So she finally shuts up ?!” She probably thought that she was going to fuck me no matter what, that it was beforehand won for her… With that said, I have two theories on the fat / ugly:

1/ They less intimidate the guys (the beauty intimidates) thus are more picked up by the average guys. As a result, they get big-headed and think that they do not need to make any effort to be able to be demanding with guys.

2/ They have so much complexes that they do not dare to undress thus are difficult to fuck. I bet that they feel guilty even when they take French fries in the self-service restaurant. But it is not for that that they would question their food / lifestyle. They will say “it is genetic that’s not my fault”… well well, maybe in 1% of the cases. But it is easy to fool yourself!

In brief, I was not able to. I am not nasty then I quickly apologized and cleared off. Yeah, ME FABRICE JULIEN, I got cold feet… but understand me: I am used all the same to quality and there I didn’t want to fall so low. Sorry. I know that she is a human being but she will find another guy to have fun. Seriously, it is not because I am not homophobic that I have to suck cocks. Well, it’s the same thing there… I hope that it was understandable because myself am a little bit vague.

I can already hear politically correct people saying : “yeah but there are countries where fat people are considered as attractive because that evokes wealth and everything“. I shall answer them: In the countries you’re talking about, the people are poor and are ravenous, that’s their biggest danger. In our countries, rich and intelligent people eat well and have the means to take care of them. They are attractive because are in shape, healthy. I don’t think that the prehistoric man was obese: he had not to deal with junk food and had to make efforts to get his food. In our society, sheeps, those who are not endowed with critical mind, the victims of the advertising, and the poor people eat junk food and have a potbelly. In two words: what is attractive, it is the possibility of being a good parent. A man in shape is potentially a better parent than a poor man suffering from malnutrition or who is on the contrary a big bacon full of saturated fatty acids.

Well well, Barney’s rule “for every three 10’s you bang, throw a bone to a 5, they’re grateful and hard working and let’s face it, sometimes you just want to lay there” apparently doesn’t work for me.

May the God of the Game be with all of us !

PS = By the middle of the month, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling very strange. All at once, my heart began accelerating as if it was going to go out of my breast. I was very hot, I perspired and nevertheless I was very cold. Terrifying. I auto-reassured by telling to myself that with all the saunas and every hour of tae kwon do I had made like an animal : I could not die from a heart attack so stupidly in my bed. That eventually stopped and I fell asleep again! The next day, aches everywhere, and palpitations all day long.

I went to a doctor who told me that it was a very powerful anxiety attack. That is linked to my bellyache I have for two months. According to him, I have a functional colonopathy. I looked on the Internet that means everything and nothing. And especially, he gave me no concrete solution but an appointment with a gastroenterologist. The truth is that I did not really accept this diagnosis “what if I had something grave in fact ? he does not even look… it is so easy to say that it is just the stress“. Needs to say that Padawan and his disease of the plot theory had warned me against doctors “yeah they give pills but it is to make us sick in fact they get commissions of labs on every prescription they make, etc.” Heu, my cousin is a doctor she would have told it to me… But well, that made me think all the same and with this kind of thoughts we lose trust in them and in their skills (especially when we have seen them getting drunk in their parties).

Because of my learning of the personal fulfillment, I am in a state of mind of fighter. I thus swore to myself that I was going to give myself the ways to take care of myself. I went to see a étiopathe recommended by 6ft who describes him as a magician of the health. He put back in place my vertebras, made me manipulations for the stomach… well there, I do not have a stomach ache any more. But I still feel strange, I am dizzy and have knocks in the heart. For that, he asked me to make test my rates of catécholamines (blood test and wee-wee in a jar).

As a result: I explode the normal rates of adrenalin and dopamine. I am exceptional. My regular doctor thus sent me to the scanner to see if I had a phéochromocytome. The scanner revealed nothing then he threw in the towel… by directing me all the same to the inner medicine of the hospital of Aix.

He nevertheless suggested me to go to a scintigraphy because according to him if the scanner reveals nothing, the scintigraphy can. Then why did he send me to the scanner first with the horrible injection of iodine that were implied??? Knowing that for the scintigraphy, it would again be necessary to injected me something, a nuclear thing I don’t know what exactly. In brief, I am not keen on and I worry.

Finally here we are. I feel sick, I am tired all the time, I think every day that I am going to die… But I am still there then I look forward to my appointments at the hospital and at the gastroenterologist (but it is long deadlines). I have difficulty in making anything, I am quite weak and I want nothing.

July 11th 2014,

Yesterday, relaxing day (so much the better because at the moment I am strangely exhausted all the time): up by 11 am, small salad of vegetables at noon, and in the afternoon I took the virginity of an inhabitant of Marseille.

I had no more condom then I had to go get some at the Monop’. I went there at about 2:40 pm while I had to meet this 19-year-old sweetheart at 3 pm. I am so far-sighted. I like to go buying condoms and hold them proudly in the store. Many hide because are ashamed to put it on their cock, like the cap we are obliged to wear at the swimming pool, but I am proud because I send to the world the following message “I am about to screw now, and you ?!”

NB : At the risk of not being very original, know that I do not like the AIDS.

Small sensation of breathlessness in the tail to pay, certainly the anxiety otherwise it is because I don’t like paying. No, seriously, I don’t like feeling stuck. Well, then, I hid the box in the inside pocket of my jacket (yeah I had a jacket in the middle of July because it is cold at the moment here). I said to myself that arriving with condoms in a plastic bag would be a little “cheap“. With hindsight, I think that I did well because she asked me in the elevator “what did you buy?” and I didn’t imagine myself answering “some condoms to take your virginity, darling“.

As I was late (it was approximately 3:10 pm), she was sitting down on the ground in front of my building. I sit next to her as a result, to establish a good communication. “Ah, you sit down with me, it is cool“. I gave her an ambiguous kiss on the cheek by way of “hello”. She smiled, cool. I observed and noted that she was dressed like on the photo of Adopt for which I had complimented her. That smelt good. Moreover if you too, you want to take advantage of the Internet for seducing like a bastard, do not hesitate to read my book. I explain to you there quite everything in detail.

Ah because yeah… I didn’t say it yet but I had never seen this girl before. I picked up her on Adopt… When we spoke about sex, she took offence during 2 weeks, then I sent her the message of the last chance about which I speak in my book. As a result : we talk on FB since last Saturday. She lives in Marseille. She told me that she already had tried to sleep with 2 guys this summer but that they were too clumsy and that she wondered who would be able to take her virginity. The first one I don’t remember why they did not do it, I believe that he simply didn’t get hard because of stress, and the second put her a headbutt while they were stark naked (but not quite tanned)… it fucked up everything.

At the time, I wondered if male gente is really SO KNACKERED in the bed or if it was HER who managed to make everybody uncomfortable (because when we are nervous we make bullshit more easily – and we are often nervous when we get ready to sleep with a new person). In brief, she needed somebody to take the virginity of the “indépucelable“, it was a mission for Cyprineman!

To start with, she wanted to go on the balcony, just to get acquainted. I began to make pressing at the end of 10mn. “Yet ?!” she got indignant… she tried to throw me off like a knight during a joust for her beautiful princess Cersei but I know that the kind “we wait just a little then we do it” it is shit… It does not work like that: when needs to go out your comfort zone, it is better to go there sharply (like when you want to break up with your girl). This gossip was an insult for our desire, it was high time to pass in the delicious serious things.

I kissed her (she stopped evading my artless kisses), fiddled, etc. She told me “wait” or held my arm like to accompany me or rather to control my movement. In brief, she was not in confidence. I can understand it. But well. I took the helm firmly, like the Captain Haddock, and I caressed her breasts by over her bra and her pussy by over her string (because she didn’t want that I bring in my hand inside at first). But when she was turned on enough (her emotional part got the upper hand over her logical part) I brought in my hand inside and she did not protest anymore.

In brief, after that, we got back in. We settled down on the sofa: she enjoying because she is totally clitoral… and me by saying to myself that she was cute all the same and that it was thus strange that she is still virgin at her age. But well “plus rien ne m’étonne” (nothing surprises me anymore) as Aurélien says. Usually it is some sublime words that caressed my tongue, there, it was her clitoris.

She rose very high on this sofa… Even if I was not too much able to finger her because that hurt her, my tongue pleased her a lot. And she absolutely wanted “to give me some pleasure too” because she took a lot apparently. Thus we went to the bedroom, I guided her to undress me… She wanted to save time again but the truth it is that she did not really know what to do in this situation then I took time to reassure her and to explain to her. Once naked she panicked ” I don’t know what to do? What must I do? I have to do what?” An attractive small blonde with blue eyes who asks you for that, with her attractive nipples in the air, it is downright sweet.

“Calm down, love! You MUST nothing, you do that you want“. She wanted to give me some pleasure, then I taught her how to shake me. Then, she hesitated one hour before deciding to suck me “I dare or not“, she took my glans in her mouth and made 3 comings and goings “was it good ?
– yes except the hesitation that spoils everything“. Well, will need that she does better than that for her future lovers but for a first time: I found her very brave, of very willingness, and it is the most important for me. What sat her free her it is when I told her “I am your guinea pig today I explain to you so use me to try what you want to discover otherwise you are going to go back home by saying to yourself that you would have wanted to try this or that but you didn’t dare“. Having said that, she did not seem to find that a cock has very good taste then I put her a spanking and she took it badly.

As a result, I redid her a cunni, to make her forgive me. That drove her crazy and after a while “go on dude, we do it now, I so much want to know how it feels“. Ah OK. Well, I’d maybe better continue and make her come with my tongue but I penetrated into her. That hurt her of course. We went there slowly, blah blah blah. We tried several times. That gave her a little pleasure but that still hurt her. At the moment, she wanted that we stop and she shook me to finish me. It was very good: that’s it, she knows how to shake now! “Go on, hug me“. She enjoyed sniffing me in the neck and say “oah you smell good.
– it’s not me it’s Paco Rabanne!”

NB : All this reminded me my own very first time. Except that the girl with whom I made it did not wish to finish me and was very unpleasant. What a silly bitch when I rethink about it!

She told me that she found me “rather” handsome (“sorry I am not used to complimenting “) and very kind. It is good for my confidence. She thought that I would be a jerk but in fact “you rather are a Care Bear“. Yeah, not really either… but well. Apparently I have an image of jerk on my blog, etc. I think that they confuse jerk and alpha, in fact. You can be very kind and alpha… In any case, me, I like helping my neighbor. Especially if it is a girl.

There was a little blood on my bed there when she left, but well. At least I had the honor to take the virginity of a new girl. I hope I have freed her and put her on her good way so that she is happier in her future sexual life. She told me that she had dates next Saturday and Monday with other guys met on Adopt. For my part, I was delighted to discover her 3 attractive tattoos (which just goes to show that all the tattooed are not nymphomaniacs…)

Roughly, she used me as man as a sex object to discover the carnal pleasures. That was not the worst good deed in the world. It was an honorable and delicate mission, but I think of having succeed because she left happy and determined to have fun this summer. I am satisfied because, you know, it is difficult to combine PUA and emotional sentimentality… I’m not kidding, I guess I have too much empathy.

May the God of the Game not put it in our ass !

June 20th 2014,

It is the story of a girl I have poked after the official reception of Les arts et métiers. Found in the list of the event. She did not answer my poke by “who r u / do I no u / y do u pauke me” unlike many illiterates but by “What you write is really cool“. Hell yeah, I have more class than all the high schools of France added up!!! My heart skipped a beat: an attractive girl, a brunette with blue eyes, who flatters me and who in addition likes all my photos… I know plenty men who would have got hard for less than that. Me, I need at least that all the same. 🙂

Almost two months had passed by on the chat and we had still not meet up. Strange, she nevertheless looked motivated and I really felt a good energy between us (yeah I think that it can be felt through the computer because everything is related in the universe). It is necessary to say that at the moment I revise my exam a lot, to don’t miss it again… And with the sport and everything, that does not leave me a great deal of spare time. She, from her part, has other cocks she can jump on during this time thus there was no urgency either on one side or on the other one.

We had to meet last Friday but she had not answered my confirmation message about the time and the place. Her excuse: “You will say thanks to the Facebook messenger app : I had almost no message this week… I have just reinstalled it but I less trust it thus I give you my phone number it is preferable“. I was averagely convinced, used to the chicken excuses of most of the girls who assume nothing, then I sent (with the tact that characterizes me which is btw the main reason why I did not try to be a diplomat) “when do I fuck you ? Storms turn me on. I hope that SFR is not also going to prevent from enjoying together.” She answered “If we have to wait for the next thunderstorms to enjoy together that risks to be long“. This repartee made me hard again. She thus officially invited me to take a hot shower at her place seen that the temperatures fell (and that there was a thunderstorm). Even if after the crazy girl of last time, I was rather afraid of a cold shower, it is all the same the kind of invitation you cannot refuse!

Date fixed yesterday (or rather the day before yesterday because it’s past midnight as I write). I arrived directly at her home by 6:30 pm while I was invited at 6 pm, normal: we lied down on her comfortable bed and we talked. At the end of a few minutes of discussion, I started caressing her leg casually. She caressed my the arm as an answer. We spoke normally maybe during one hour and I had my hand in her panties under her black tunics as if it was normal all long. After a while, that eventually perturbed her all the same thus she kissed me then sucked me, I licked her and she jumped on me. Here is a summary that straight ahead gets to the point! 😉

We began to kiss, her on me. She came by rubbing herself but she did not make too much noise. A shot in missionary then, before taking her doggy-style while pulling her hair. I dunno why, she had told me that she did not really like making the dog on all fours but me I adore playing the trainer and submitting the bankers. Finally that did not seem to displease her… that was probably just a prejudice like that! All this commotion lasted several hours, without lying. At least 2. I thus put interests to the bank then removed them then put  them back and so on.

At the end of the rodeo, she complimented me “I really like the way you lick“. “Thanks you, yours is good too“. She told me that it changed her from the other bankers she is used to who brag all the time but are tight-ass in fact. Me I brag but at least I am funny and a good lover. 😉 Having said that, I imagine that they are many, between the customers and those who work with her, who want to take her against the reception office by making her bulge her files!

The only negative point of this story it is because she wanted to do too much, she wanted to caress my testicles when I took her in missionary with legs on my shoulders. Me I don’t like that one caresses my testicles, nor licks them ! Besides, she saw nothing there thus she sent their hands there blindly… And all at once I felt a big pain. I withdrew: I saw my right testicle that went back up, I slapped it to make it come down back on its place. As I write, ie more than 12 hours later, I have still pain even when I do not touch (when I touch too of course) but I have the impression that it is back in place. It is certainly just a bruise, well I hope: I checked on allodocteur just now and Michel Cymès started to enumerate all the possible pathologies, what had the effect of giving me an enormous dizziness and I collapsed. I’m not kidding… I switched off the computer and took a lexomil.

Except for this misadventure, she’s really nice this girl! Cutie, good energies, cultivated, intelligent, open-minded. I spent a good moment, I guess that she too, thus we logically wished to extend it. She cooked me something and we spoke until 1:30 (am of course). Ah, and I love her cat. For God’s sake, I have not still talked about her cat but I have fallen in love with it. Too beautiful, too kind, too soft. It is a big Persian long-haired white chinchilla with magnificent round quite brilliant green eyes. He put me hairs everywhere, the scamp. Well, needs to say that I spent hours caressing it (almost as much as its owner) and he gave me kisses with its quite pink nose (almost as much as its owner). It seems that it does not love everybody then I appreciate the compliment!

To return to this girl whom cat and not pussy was long-haired, she told me quite a lot of things that caught my attention (me I don’t talk much, I don’t like it) :
– She has already made orgies, thus it is interesting. She told me that she lived with one of her buddies as a roomy a few months ago. One day, they made a drinking party and threw the idea “what if we made an orgy ?“. A girl in the assembly was OK… boom, first 3some! She started loving girls as a consequence. She invited then her friends under a false pretext then they made them drink and were pushy. She says that the girls are very curious and very often agree to try when they put them in front of the fait accompli. She told me that it had failed only once, for 6 or 7 tries. Some just banged ONLY her roommate, on the other hand. Her maximum was a 4some. Me too. At the moment, at least. Thus I say to myself that we could try a 5some: Padawan, 6ft, the Corsican, my banker (and me obviously). About orgies, she tells that, like me, she feels shivers and energy that invade her during several days after the act. It is what makes me say that the world would go more round if the orgy was a common practice.
– Other than that, she tries to pick up girls in bars too. I’m gonna tell you the story of the heterosexual she picked up in a bar, it’s funny. She cooked her something then kissed her then came down on her breast and everything, the other one resisted then she just said “shh“. So alpha! Then she licked her, the girl came but my beloved banker feigned. She was not satisfied because the very young did not want to try her favorite position: The chisel (they rub themselves mutually their pussies). According to her, the easiest targets, it is between 18 and 20.
– She likes very much that one watches her masturbating, or watching the others doing it. When she was younger, it seems that it was not rare that they did meet up and watch an erotic movie on TV with her boy-friends and girl-friends while masturbating and/or by touching the others.
– I have the impression she frequents weird people all the same (me too I’m weird but well). Like guys who are polygamous (2 girls at the interior in Africa, 1 in France and 1 mistress) and who try to fuck her by finding it totally normal. I also think of her office colleague who gets banged by 5 riff-raffs in a cellar while she is a daughter of rich people. In brief, she told me so many inconceivable things… well, it is good to know that all this shit exists! That is called “having some culture”!!! Well, I guess so… 😉
– She was sick and on antibiotics… but well, I appreciated that she does not cancel the date (it was not contagious).
– Her, what taught her that it is necessary to take advantage of the life and live in the moment, it is that her ex killed himself in front of her home (while they were still together) by doing stupid stuff on his motorcycle in front of a truck.
– A guy told her “you’re beautiful” then vomited on himself in the street while she friendly went back home at 2 am. She asked him if he was not ashamed to be such a waste, he answered that no and that it was normal. Ah OK! It is maybe the case in another galaxy.

Well after all that, I went back home by being quite stressed in the street (nervous up to the skin of the glans). Sleep. Then at noon, I saw Virginia: she cooked me a cake with cherries and we made love. I love this girl, she is really classy and soft. What did I do to deserve her? I don’t know. Or then I don’t deserve her not but I created my luck by multiplying the meetings? No sé, but she is as an obvious fact for me. More and more!

One last anecdote in touch with pokes. A girl, a kid, sent back me one something like 20 pokes then wrote me “what do u want?
– don’t play the hypocrite you know it well
– ah well I would have preferred not to know !!!
– good for you ! so why do you poke me back ?
– I always answer ! and it is a shit your technique
– oh really, who are you for saying what is a shit or not ?” With this, she blocked me without answering. I thought that the matter was resolved. But not even one hour later, a big 16-year-old idiot came talking to me to threaten me (value does not await the passing of years). What about the respect of the seniors ???! Roughly, she went crying next to a guy by telling that I had poked her and put her back in place when she had started bullshiting me. The guy wanted to brag, to show that I was a jerk and a pervert (I’m just quoting him) and thus shine in comparison to maybe fuck her. But no, stupid kid, you will still be asexual in her eyes!!! As a consequence I raised him too and he blocked me in his turn seen that he had no argument. Except that this big shit published my profile on his wall by writing “he is a dangerous crazy pervert, block him, he pokes you to fuck you!” As a result, a lot of kids came to tell me that I had poked their friends and that they were going to find me and that they would kill me when they would see me in the street. Ridiculous! If the girl is not interested (she has the right to don’t like Men ;)), she does not answer and basta… I am not the kind of guy who harasses. It is an illustration of the phenomenon of the monkey that hopes to fuck girls by behaving as society formated him. I took another lexomil (I am going to go in cure of detox if it continues) and sent them all to Hell. I can tell you that they do not like when you don’t give a damn of their opinion or whatever, that drive them crazy to feel your indifference even your contempt. There are all the same fortunately 2/3 of their friends who came to tell me “It’s nothing they are just kids forget them” but also a lot of competition idiots I had not even poked wrote to me “Me, you won’t bang me. Never.
– good for you, I don’t care about your pussy, darling“. It is true, fuck, if they are so idiots, why would I teach life to these pitiful…? It is not because I poke a girl that I beg for her pussy (I poke in automatic mode and sort out then among the answers – it is what I call the rational on-line pick up). From now on I thus won’t answer any more to the girls who will answer my pokes by something else than a compliment otherwise it is going to turn to shit because I’m becoming intolerant to this idiocracy (I would spend too much time and energy in that but I hate not having last word then it is going to be hard). I shall miss some nice fucks but I also avoid quite a lot of headaches! Widely profitable!!!

Well, otherwise, the small banker has already sent me a text. Thus, it is cool! According to her, all those whom I did not fuck and who play the frightened virgins when they receive a poke (because we inculcated them that it is not good for a girl to have sexual thoughts) would have won in discovering the legendary backbone of the PUA of Aix. It is very kind of her to tell me that… I am going eventually turn red with swelled ankles if it continues! That would not be really esthetic. 🙂

It’s up to you now!!! Read Secrets for seducing on the Internet if you don’t know how to start!!!

May the God of the Game be with us, poor men who undergo the bullshit of our counterparts and the moods of the women !

Below, two Field Reports written by Padawan.

In the first one, what is interesting it is to notice once more time that the girls flake with shitty excuses even if they do want to have sex with you. Brakes are plenty but most will not assume and will prefer to say some shit: fear, shame, social pressure, etc. Needs to know how to put things in perspective, to don’t but it, but it is really a pain in the ass… For example there, they talked during 4 months on Facebook before meeting up. Hold on !

Then, when I read that the girl says she doesn’t remember any more where she lives, that tempts me to jump totally naked from the first floor window… Worse: knowing very well that she is going to have sex with Padawan, she refuses that he makes her a massage…. Why complicating things for the pleasure like that with no purpose? For us either it is not easy then women should not add some difficulties. Needs to know that we want and to be coherent in life!

In the second text, I was invited for the 4some. But because we had already made many and as Padawan had never made a threesome with two girls, I didn’t care. I didn’t care there was some soccer the TV. Then I jerked off by thinking of Adriana Wonderbra, an imaginary Swedish top model with a little bit repetitive measurements but with not-naturals tits tastier than a cheese fondue.

In brief, the WWM is in my opinion a part of things to do in the life of a curious sexual man if we want a complete formation. I briefed him before in the sauna and I let you read the result now (yeah, I am a good buddy – sexually generous sometimes against my will).

The use he makes of my method of online pickup makes me proud. But knowing well the proverb “fais du bien à Bertrand, il te le rend en caguant (be nice with Bertrand, he will pay you back with his shit)” I am a little scared now he tried almost everything. Time will tell !

May the God of the Game be with us ! Fuck in peace, you have my blessing !

 

I – June 2nd 2014,

Do you remember the “bet” I had made with Fabrice? You know, we had both approached the same Corsican girl on Adopt and he wanted to see who was going to bang her like a warrior the first one !

Well, I lost the bet (there was no issue at the same time). But the scamp continued to speak to me on Facebook. I think that what tempted her was to know about the 3/4somes. She absolutely wants to try thus it is cool! Needs to see if she gets cold feet the D-day.

I thus suggest her to fuck just the two of us first. The cutie is a player and she wants to manipulate me as an AFC. She very quickly realized that it was not possible.

The moment comes : we have to make an appointment (after many Facebook talks to warm up) and it is that at this moment that it becomes a little more difficult: she simply chicken out. Between her phony excuses and the moments when I was not available, it was difficult to find a date!

It will be necessary to explain me: I finished by taking her number and finally she flakes me, or says she is unfit to fuck because she drank heavily the day before… really poignant ! Other mythical flake, “not tonight, I am drunk, I forgot my address“. I told her that I would not insist ! (All this with text messages).

A few days later, I like one of her statuses about her long weekend to come. She suggests me meeting up the following Sunday evening! I then provoke her even more by telling her that she has just a big mouth but nothing in the panties. But the meeting is fixed to Sunday at 9 pm…

I really wanted to flake her in my turn to punish her, finally well I found another way for that!
I arrived at 10:10 pm instead of 9pm (I had a rehearsal with my group before and it is the priority I’m a busy man!). I had an anthology of messages, she was put under stress the poor girl! Like that :

Her : We still see each other within 2 hours? 7:12 pm
Me: Of course can you remind me your address please ? 7:18pm
Her : … 7:18pm
Her : You can park in my street! 7:19pm
Her : 9pm? 8:01pm
Her : Heels or not heels? 8:24pm
Me : Go for heels. On the other hand we have just stopped thus I will be a little late 8:25pm

Arrived at her home, we sit down on the sofa, we discuss a little, she had put a dress on. We speak again about orgies and also tattoos. She says to me that she has nothing to hide, thus I try to lift her dress looking for her tattoos. After a while she is turned on and thus she proposes me a massage.

Honestly it was more caresses on the back than a massage but it is always good to take. I suggested making her one too, by telling her that I would mass all her body. She refused… will need to explain to me, she probably doesn’t assume herself. I thus began to warm her to death without kissing her. I guess that I could have fucked her without kissing her, but it will certainly be for the next one who will play the shameless.
Obviously we both eventually can’t handle more tension : she demanded my cock but I continued to lick her and to finger her. She still asked that I take her then I told her “if you want it, you will have to take care of it” by showing her my dick. She thus blowed me then we made a 69. A true beginner. I took her, she came twice by jumping on me. She of course was entitled to her doggy style with spanking! Then a lied down doggy style, she eventually wet all at once and that made me come.

We a little discussed, I showed her to what extent it was crap to drink alcohol and to eat shit. She felt dirty I guess. Then I started again licking and fingering her, she wanted that it stops but I continued to punish her, always with a little smile. To calm things down she again sucked me but she was too tired for fucking again I think.

When I left from her home it was 2:30 am, I totally lost track. She wants that we see again each other, I told her that next time I would come with a boyfriend or a girlfriend!

Well well

 

II – June 15th 2014,

Hello the cuties !

Sometimes you meet girls open-minded and not pain in the ass thanks to the (aggressive) game!
You know 6ft, and you know that this scamp is always ready for plans with more than 2 people!
I had told you that the Corsican of my last FR was interested in all this.

Last night, date with the two naughty girls at 6ft’s at about 10:30 pm. We begin to chat, the girls drink one or two glasses of alcohol to come free just a little.

6ft begin to settle on the bed, she was hungry the gourmand! I join her, I remove my shoes and I lie down on the stomach. She begins to touch my butt. And now the Corsican comes to do it in her turn. That began to totally turn me on! They take my top off. They certainly had to think that I was going to finish naked while they still would be dressed! Wrong! They might be in numeric superiority. I was not going to be passive!
I have the baton thus I am the conductor! Deal with it!

So they are naked and from this moment, it went rather crazy! Caresses everywhere, they suck me, I lick them, fingering both at the same time, licking one while I finger the other one, they lick themselves, we kiss each other… Sex was everywhere and they wet a lot!
Crunchy moment: I was fingering 6ft while she licked the Corsican. She comes, cannot lick because of the orgasm and ask me how I do it. I answer I can teach her on the Corsican. And here I am : a sex instructor for lesbian!
With my explanations and 6ft’s nimble fingers of, Corsican begins enjoying. Rather funny moment.

We continued to lick each others during I-do-not-know-how-long after that. Then she both looked at me in a naughty way to tell me that they wanted to go on to the next stage.

Alternately they come on me (andromaque – jumping on my cock), trying at all costs to make me come (Corsican had two orgasms under 6ft’s naughty eyes.) But I resisted and said to them : ” Did you think you could avoid doggy style ?!”.
They thus both had their doggy style. 6ft was eating the mattress.

I was dipped by my sweat and the cyprine, they eyed intently me from the bed. I went to take a cold shower. When I came back they started again sucking me together to make me come. But that did not work and I had an iron bar between the legs then I took another condom and show must go on! Andromaque again with 6ft then a spoon with Corsican which was transformed inverted andromaque after, while 6ft was licking my balls and while I was touching the clit of the Corsican.
I suddently came it was so awesome !

After orgasm, I felt my energy circulating in all my body, it was so good !

We discussed just a little after that. They are ready to do it again thus it’s great!
I left with the Corsican at about 3:30 am… The phenomenon of distortion of time being still very present…
Really good this 3some especially that it was the first experience like that for the Corsican.

I’m done !

June 8th 2014,

Well, I QUICKLY update my diary because I lose on my blog a considerable amount of time I could instead use to write columns in intellectual newspapers, mischievous letters torn by the woman of my dreams (who will stay in my dreams) or to revise my exams like a shit. Well, for a change, I am not going to speak to you about seduction today… I am rather going to speak to you about the love I feel for myself. No, I’m kidding.

During the night of Thursday to Friday, I saw again Carla (or Clara IDK). It is the girl who had shaken me in my car on Monday night. 6 months since last time she had sex, poor girl, this is why she was so furious. In brief, her tiny ass doggy-style, it was something!!! And moreover, she smelt good this time, it was probably her pullover that stank like a fag recently… “Carla or Clara”, it is moreover with this name that I saved her number in my phone. Just to be sure don’t make mistake.

During the night of Friday to Saturday, with Virginie, we ate a cake she had cooked. With apple in addition. Then, in the bed, I took her Pulp Fiction virginity and we beat our record of orgasms. 9 between the evening and the morning. Bim ! Otherwise, she is not happy because she had only a 15.9/20 average in psychology, do you realize this drama? In brief, I love the perfectionists like that.

During the night of Saturday to Sunday, I planned to go out. I mean, I really sincerely planned to go out. But at the last moment, a girl with whom I speak from time to time on Adopt wrote me. I hadn’t not messaged her for a few weeks in fact, because that she had not liked when I had told her that I would never visit her in Marseille and that as a consequence if she wanted my cock, she should move until my humble house in Aix.

Roughly, she wrote me yesterday evening to tell me that she went out of a chicken Adopt date. And I answered her that it was well done for her because she would have better made to come having sex with me (just as a provocation). She immediately suggested coming to make up for it and I said OK. I am so easy… If you too you want to learn how to make unknowns who look hot come to your place, I recommend you to read Secrets for seducing on the Internet !

A not ugly but not hot either woman arrived at my home. Not fat but not thin either. She was less hot than on her photos, to tell you everything. And with madwoman’s eyes especially, yes yes, like those Barney describes in How I Met. This legendary crazy look that puts you ill-at-ease in the blink of an eye. The first thing she told me, just to make me comfortable it is “ah, I would have preferred that you put a shirt“. I had an oversized jeans (for 92-year-old people) and a black T-shirt I bought 4 years ago. “By the way, what do you do alone at your home a Saturday evening ?” I almost told her to go to Hell with her shitty questions but well, I am too kind, one more time. She continued “I like to be welcomed in a suit and tie“. Well, I did not raise this. She continued her bullshit ” I had a car accident at the speed of 140 on the highway on Wednesday, I have pain in ribs, I was not looked by a doctor.” She had a small crust on her nose, I pushed above as to punish her “ouch attention it hurts“. Hihihi!

I went on the balcony, she joined me. I began to fiddle with her, she was passive 2 minutes then went back to sit down alone on the sofa. “Can I smoke ?” There, she began to annoy me seriously. Then, “I would like to drink something.
– sorry I have nothing but water.
– WHAT ?! I COME AND HAVE YOU NOTHING TO OFFER ME? I PRECISE THAT THE HIGHWAT COST ME €10 THUS YOU WILL PAY ME OFF.” Totally crazy this chick. I went to see in the refrigerator if accidentally there would not be something for her. There was an organic beer there, which dated of IDK when. I served her a drink. She said “that has a strange taste, taste it“. Actually, it tasted like some water, but some strange water. She continued to speak to me and to say bullshits like “I have a kid you know, with my husband we are in an open relationship“. Roughly, she cheats on him and he does(n’t) know it, but well I don’t buy it, it’s been ages that I listen with only half an ear what they tell. She said that she banged her neighbor, bridegroom, by leaving a note on his car “call me 06XXXXXXXX”. She told me that she fucks regularly a guy about whom she knows that he lies on his age and his job, just to try to unmask it. Between two shitty stories that did not interest me, she caught my head and kissed me while caressing with her hands my virtuoso of the words’ trunk. Completely inconsistent the girl. I resisted a little. Then, I began again to fiddle with her, I passed everywhere on her body, she was passive. By way of underwear: a wet one-piece swimsuit. Surprising. She asked me “Well, what do you tell me about you? I like to discuss and that we learn to know each other before“. I didn’t want to tell her anything, I found her weird and even not hot, and in addition she started to piss off me. I remember another thing that she said and that shocked me “do you know what piss me off ?
– no.
– condoms“. No but like if I was going to take the risk of having a kid with a girl like her or to get a STD for her while it’s a pain in the ass to get rid of a papilloma virus, no but she is crazy!!! At a given moment, after a silence, she bawled “it is not you who decide, it is me“. IDK what she was talking about, certainly sex. She told me that she had done only one single date-direct-fuck like that, but that the guy was hot. I do not know how I should take it. Then, she felt my arm muscles as to estimate the goods. So, let’s say she is a demanding superficial girl : “I don’t like blue eyes nor short guys“.

She continued to assault me “you, you fuck any girl who comes to your place, right ?
– hell no, only if I like her all the same.
– and how do you know you’ll like her ?
– I select well.” In any case, with her I did not select, I agreed without thinking to see her and I paid it cash. After a while, I ran out of air. My heart started beating very fast. As experienced paranoiac hypochondriac, I believed that there was some drug (or another shit) in the out-of-date beer I had drunk a mouthful of. I went out on the balcony, everything turned, difficulties to breath. It had probably put her under stress because she told me that she also felt sick. She wanted to go downstairs to get a breath of fresh air. I noticed that she took her stuff. That was a good idea!

Once downstairs, I felt better. We kissed again, this time more intensely, more wildly and she said to me “I don’t know if I want to do it“. We continued “No, finally, I don’t want tonight.
– Ah OK.
– Are you mad at me ?
– Not at all.” It was true btw, I absolutely didn’t give a shit about her, that almost relieved me. I had the impression that I would more have screwed her by automatism than by desire. “Well it’s OK then, I won’t make you pay the highway. Well, I gotta go, I have another plan in Aix I want to visit“. Incomprehensible this girl, fuck. Why did she kiss me if she doesn’t like me? And if she likes me, why she did she say to me that she was going to fuck another one? She is very capable of calling me back one day or another to say that she wants finally but she will take it in the ass very deep (not by me) ! I don’t anymore wanna try to understand crazy people like that. Seriously, I don’t even know her name. I’m not kidding ! Do I shock you ? Needs that I stop my bullshit… this kind of girl doesn’t deserve me.

On second thought, I guess that my heart began beating so hardly under the influence of the malaise and some nervousness. And because the malaise is communicative, she also felt it. From there, she wanted to leave. Or then, she was a pure lier, and she was about to frighten out at the idea of enjoying too hardly and got cold feet… she would not be the first one. In brief, we will never know more about it anyway but that made me think. What’s the point of wasting my time with these poor idiots while I am used to girls like Virginie who are way better than her and with whom there is a real connection ? Certainly, I had nothing to lose if I screwed her, but what had I to win in fact? Absolutely nothing, I guess. I felt her unhealthy, this girl. I am very happy that we finally didn’t do it. It is the first time that I feel it, maybe that I move forward in my Game or then maybe that she was really knackered. In any case, the logic of the number is a little bit chicken. I agree that it is instructive to screw a lot of girls but it is better to avoid some specimens (guys too I think). In brief, 5 years since I had not made any anxiety attack, I thought I was done with it, and now it happens again to me during a date. I am disgusted! I hope that it will just be a temporary accident…

In any case, if I was her I would think : ONE chicken date it can be an accident, but TWO during the same night, it is probably that she conveys bad things.

May the God of the Game spares us all those crazy bitches in the future.

NB : To leave her first date, she pretended she has a headache (it’s important for a girl like her to don’t be frank). And, something like 1h later, the guy sent her a text “do you feel better?” What a naivety. Especially that she began to speak badly about him in front of me “hahaha, he writes me just one hour later, he is probably a poor guy he has probably no other plans in his life, I did well to next him“. Conclusions: do not believe every word they say AND sending a nice message like that even if it is very kind means humbling yourself. How sad it is !