Come what may

I hope that this text will be published one day on my blog, because that would mean that I shall have get away from there. “The housewife under 50 will not like that, in Cantal we shall not understand this” : I DON’T GIVE A SHIT I tell things as they are on this blog because nobody else dares. I don’t care about little jerks who are going to try to turn that in mockery to feel reassured, because I know very well that it can happen to them too. And that day, they will take it in the ass.

September 23rd 2014,

I do not really want to return in writing on what I live since this summer. Because speaking about it depresses me. I shall do it maybe later, with the benefit of hindsight, so that you understood why I did not give news for so long. I don’t fool myself, most of you don’t care anyway, and are selfish. I sometimes wonder why I try so hard to help the others with my blog while I really doubt the others would give tit for tat to me if they had the opportunity. Well, let’s talk about nicer things. I a little enjoyed life this WE. I am going to tell you this positive anecdote. Because “c’est bon pour le moral“, just like La compagnie créole.

In July, a girl added me on FB. Hot hot hot. But I already had no energy, all the time bellyache, etc. then I did not calculate her during almost one month. Then, a beautiful day of August (no I’m kidding we had a bad summer), I was fed up with the fact that she defies me like that (with her blue eyes and her beautiful butt) then I decided that we were going to play a little. And not only Scrabble.

I have liked one of her photos, she has liked one of mine. Hem, player. I like that. I have liked again one of hers, she has re-liked one of mine, etc. Fucking preliminary! We played like that for a few days, then we started poking. Things became serious between us…

I sent her a message (she had a photo disguised as angel and I had one disguised as devil thus I sent her my picture by saying that we complement each other and that it would be good if we complemented each other as well in the bed), we talked and I took her Snapshat (advice here) after two days. From there, we started sending naughty photos. It was quite exciting. Well, me, I was hard seen her hot body. Her, she was probably wet too, not that I am an Apollo but any man’s body can have some sexual power on a woman if we know how to manage it (advice here bis). That’s what frightens them and urges them to be bitches as a protection. Among legendary Snap “do you like riding or being astride?
– I make no horse but being astride a mount why not “. Not too much complicated and a little bit naughty as a girl, roughly.

I admit that she helped me to keep faith in the future and in humanity (especially concerning girls) all this time… but, at the same time it was frustrating, especially when I was at the very worst. I said to myself “fuck if I was in good shape I could fuck her hard right now“. Fortunately, she was comprehensive, maybe because she is nursing. I did not lie: I spoke to her about my health problems, about why I had returned at my parent’s, etc.. That did not scare her off . So much the better. I was surprised for the better: normally, a sick guy, that does not interest girls… Finally, it is what I had learnt in the game, the criteria of attraction, all this shit. Let’s note all the same that some have the syndrome of the nurse and become attached to the guys with problems. Nothing is absolute in seduction.

Well, we sent Snap during more than one month. I tried to make her come by car on the parking lot in front of to my parents and to fuck her on the back seat there (she does not live far) but she did not want to. Then, a beautiful day, she told me she finally have the house of her parents for her alone. And she wanted that I come sleeping with her! I was terrorized, especially that I had not really fucked hard for a while… I was afraid of dying during the sexual intercourse. Finally, I said to myself that it would not be the worst of the deaths then I gave it a try. Then she is nursing, it is a little bit reassuring. We feel reassured as we can! I wonder moreover if what would bother me would not more be to feel faint with an unknown. Because apparently, it is rather that, that I risk. Not sexy. But well. It is not the topic here, thus I am briefly going to tell you this shit that happens to me (small private conversation) and we come back to the story. I spent a pedal effort test at the hospital to see if my heart was well and I became quite pale then they stopped me for “lipothymiques sensations” (the thing that means nothing even in French). I cursed my parents to have made me in kit with a heart that works badly. Seriously, I made them a scandal. I was unfair. Then, I had to take an examination to see if my heart was malformed and no it is not the case… Then I spent 24 hours of holter and the conclusion it is that I have fewer extrasystoles than average people… But I feel them more because I am very nervous at the moment. It is in any case that, the theory of the doctors. It seems that there are even people who faint because of nerves, and that it is mild too. I get knocked in the breast, it is terrorizing. In brief, officially I have nothing, but in the practice I remain traumatized by the fact of not having made a success of this effort test and I am afraid of making heart attack as soon as my heart accelerates now (in staircases or other shit). It’s serious! And especially: that makes my life intolerable! I take my pulse as soon as I don’t feel good, sometimes I don’t find it thus I panic. I was always afraid of dying young, I don’t know why… I say to myself that I don’t deserve it, not with all the efforts I make for my health but that life is inequitable. Hoping that she proves me the opposite! While waiting for, I am afraid of being alone, of feeling faint and that nobody is here to save me. I want to do nothing, no project, because I say to myself that anyway I am going to die right in the middle… so I force myself to revise my exams and to work on my blog all the same. But even that, it is not easy.

On Saturday evening, I arrived at her home at about 8 pm, to eat some rice, at least officially. Unofficially, it was rather some meat than I was going to eat. She informed me that her sister came back from work (Mc Do) at 9:30 pm. She a little showed me her house then kissed me in the kitchen as to mean me that it was high time to turn to serious matters.

Then, we began to touch each other and she led me in her room. Her dog jumped on the bed then she did kick it outside. Too bad, I liked her dog, a nice face and everything. I would have liked well that it looked had us fucking. No, I’m just kidding, I did not break down that much. Two doggy for me alone, and her pussy that was asleep in the lounge : that would have been very cool.

I licked her during a long moment (the girl not her pussy well finally yes but in brief you understood…) She was tasty then I wanted her since a long time. She came once. I continued to lick her, in fact, I was afraid of screwing. She could not handle more then she knocked me down, we put a condom and she jumped on me to fuck me. I was very good and soft like that, then I let her do. “Come what may” I said to myself. I not specially felt my heart neither malaise nor anything. Then, she wanted that I come on her in missionary. OK, after a while I was more confident and began to really break her up. Then she turned, I took her doggy-style by caressing her clit. I felt her sex contracting “oh yes yes yes“. She came again. It restored my self-confidence and allowed myself to ejaculate. It was good even if I would have preferred to finish in her mouth. I would maybe had to ask her. Maybe next time. Then, we made a cuddle, I was proud of me and especially satisfied to be still alive. We showered to wash away our sins.

Then, her sister came back and she wanted to do nothing sexual any more. I was a little disappointed because I would have fucked her again with pleasure… It’s OK because her sister is sexy too, we forgive her. We ate some rice and tomatoes, because I take care of my liver too. I have the total. She had made cookies then well I tasted them. OK, it was good. But I was really tired around midnight, no more the habit to go to bed so late nor to do sport like that… Then, we settled comfortably on her bed and she fell asleep. I was sad, first because of the sheets “The Little Mermaid” but also because we were tightened in this little bed and because she did not want to suck me nor to have sex again because her sister was close by (she could hear us but she did not want that she joins us) and me I was hard then I was frustrated. I hesitated to give a fuck or to go in the bed of her sister, but it seems it is not polite. I caressed her, warmed her and everything but nothing to do. Well. Too bad, I respect.

We a little spoke all the same before she falls asleep. She is two years younger than I, but we were in the same middle school. Then, we take the same bus to come back from Aix (I really had the impression I had already seen her). We spoke about our childhood memories, there is a guy from our school I used to know, a young riffraff, who sends her his cock on Snap. He wants her to suck him but he has a girlfriend but says “being blown is not cheating on her”. Her, she is not really tempted (at least that’s what she says). But receiving cocks on Snapchat is flattering, understand her. 😉

Otherwise, she told me that she had never enjoyed yet. Nevertheless she already knew 9 guys before me. There she developed “I have never had so much pleasure, that it rose so much, as I contracted, and then, well, I felt nothing more a few seconds
– Yes, yes, you came my darling, it is good for you that. And twice in addition“. Fuck, really needs that I survive this shit that happens at me because there are really too many sex educations out there to be made.

She had read some of my adventures. It is one of her nursing friends who had sent her my blog by advising to her “you should read the little Aixois“. Then I had a reputation of itinerant fantasy to be honored with these two girls.

When I thanked her for cookies and doggy style, she thanked me for the magic tongue and the turns of foot. Cool ! I also like the fact that she goes in for sport in particular self-defense. I would like to see her again one day. Especially that she symbolizes, maybe, the end of my “dark” period. Now that I touched the bottom I have the impression to take out a little the head of the water. Hopefully it is not just an impression.

I really had difficulty in falling asleep, still this damned fear of dying during the night. But once asleep, I slept well. Awakening at 11 am, a kiss and I returned at my parent’s.

On Sunday afternoon, I visited Virginie and I gave her 7 orgasms. Because I like the figure 7 (it is beautiful, it is full of itself). The man loses some energy by enjoying or rather by ejaculating but the girl by enjoying wins it then she was satisfied. It is a little bit inequitable the life all the same but well I am generous with her. I don’t know why but if I can do good to somebody and that it costs me not much, I do it.

Otherwise, I discovered her corent, with 6 girls in a house in Aix, it is cool. When I shall be in shape we will maybe make a huge orgy in the kitchen with Padawan. And play with food, of course. I want eggs on the dish. No, rather two nice little oranges.

Well, I was happy to see that, even sick, I still make quality one night stands. And fuck better than the average. Most simply of the world. That made me feel better. That restored a little my self-esteem.

It was cool and I had almost found the morale. But, in the afternoon, I had a not-very-good-news-I-don’t-really-wanna-talk-about then I go back a little in depression but I should not let go myself even if it is hard. And especially, it is not the moment to break down because I don’t wanna miss my diploma again (examination in October). That at least that, it is done : one less problem in my life. I don’t wanna spend another pseudo-sabbatical year like that. Besides I always want to go to Sydney next year. Well, in January that seems to me compromised… but why not in September. I shall fight up till the end, even in the moments of doubt, because it seems that this is the way we do when we have a winner state of mind.

May the God of Game and of the Health be with us.

PS : I answer quickly for those who asked me if my brother had read my article about him and his wife. I don’t know. He despises what I’m doing, anyway, thus I suppose that he does not read me.

PS 2: for the assholes who have nothing else to do than imagining that I invent a life with so many details, instead of being a pain in the neck to reassure yourselves : rather try to see how I can help you and say “thank you” (or read something else otherwise it is paradoxical to come read a thing that supposedly you do not like). It will be more pleasant for everybody! If you have not understood yet that I have never lied to shine and that it won’t happen anytime soon, then you don’t ascertain my character nor what I’m trying to do. Too bad for you. Stay in your glass prison.