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How to become freer and happier?

free and happy

How to become freer and happier

Do you really enjoy your personal freedom? Surely yes… yet most people live in what I call “collective conditioning,” based on fear. We interpret and judge reality as if we were looking through a fog.

It’s not pleasant, but you have to realize that we have not chosen what we know, what we believe and that our real choices are almost non-existent. Very few people are thus able, even only a little bit, to think for themselves. Let’s take for example the presidential elections: very few really read the programs of the candidates before making a choice. So their decision is based on what the media, the others, and so on, say. It is thanks to this “sheep effect” that one can guess the number of burglaries per year and the % that will be obtained by the different candidates: we are not free!

The way we see life is therefore conditioned by our education and by the surrounding culture: rules, habits, references… even our language is part of this process of domestication of man by bociety, because this is what permits its transmission and different interpretations.

This conditioning determines what we think possible or not and therefore often what we are capable of. In addition, limiting beliefs generally deprive us of joy and create unnecessary suffering (such as the pressure to “be beautiful” that make many young women suffer for the sole purpose of selling cosmetics).

The education we receive when we are children works because of the fear of punishment, of not being successful, of not being recognized, which will supposedly determine our degree of “adaptation” to society. When we are young, behaving the way our parents and teachers expected us to do made us no longer behaving as we really are. As a teenager, our view of the world has been shaped by the education received, and often, at the expense of ourselves and our true dreams. Yet, when we try to ignore these laws that guide us, we undergo the judgment of society, and that is what makes social pressure so powerful. Once an adult, the process is self-reproducing because of self-judging. We are very well trained!

Being ourselves without subjecting ourselves to the desires and judgments of society deeply tempts us, but scares us, even if we intend to respect the law and hurt nobody. By trying to meet the demands of society, we set ourselves goals that are impossible to achieve, we never judge ourselves up to the task and we try to hide it, we make ourselves unhappy by letting ourselves be lured by the masks that others wear: just have a look on Facebook where most people seem enjoying a dream life, and yet…

For reasons of conformism, or to silence our internal conflict (we conform VS we do what we want) we sometimes force ourselves to adopt very destructive behaviors, as a kind of self-punishment. Indeed, when we get drugged or drunk every week, we are our own tormentors. And society almost makes us proud of it.

This functioning leads most people to live their lives in complete fog, they are good little soldiers. Yet nothing forces us from the outside to be prisoners of conditioning. But, inside ourselves, we find many excuses to avoid a personal development work that would be liberating (or to don’t leave our comfort zone – it would put too much at stake). However, freedom belongs to us, we must be a little courageous to glimpse the light. Freedom consists in smiling at life, in exploring, in expressing ourselves, in living a little more in the present moment, without basing everything on the past and/or the future, in living naturally, in don’t giving a fuck…

Sex is a good example of negative conditioning: it’s in France like sorcery in Africa. It is omnipresent and concealed, trivialized and dramatized, full of prejudices but mysterious, publicly despised and appreciated in private. Yet sex can not be summed up in simple animal debauchery nor in the concept of fidelity: it can be lived as a form of sincerity, a search for truth, a conquest of freedom. Roughly, sex carries very different meanings for one or another but yet we can not assume it and live it as we want because of the doxa. It is a little bit « dissenting » in society and that is what makes us afraid. Fortunately, the community of seduction and personal development can help you reconcile with these instinctive but essential to our personal balance things!

I will now give you 4 keys to transform your life and relationships (these are the four Toltec agreements to which Don Miguel Ruiz devoted a book):

1 – Having an impeccable speech

It is through words that we express our thoughts, our emotions, our desires: what we are. It has a creative power of extreme power: this is our ability to verbalize things and thus to give them a consistency.

An impeccable speech, that is to say positive, will immunize us against the poison thrown by others. Thus, by taking care of our words, and thus remaining positive, we take care of our spirit, which will become a breeding ground for extraordinary things.

2 – Do not take everything personally

Whatever one may say to us as a wicked man, it can only affect us if we attach importance to it. We can very well choose to don’t take it into account, therefore, to don’t let ourselves be affected by this poison. That’s why you should never take a rejection personally, anyway, it can depend on so many things, so please don’t care.

If the others are programmed, conditioned, to judge, this is not our problem. Not entering this trap can protect from collective madness. Same thing when we judge: we only project our reality on others, especially when we try to be right at all costs. In truth, judgment concerns only the judge, not the judged.

Judgments about ourselves that are engendered by limiting beliefs can also trap us, especially when several contradictory beliefs lead us to inner conflict. That’s why we need to review one by one all our beliefs in order to live better.

3 – Do not make assumptions

It is our fear that leads us to don’t ask ourselves too many questions, to don’t check the thoughts that sprout in us, to follow the general movement without really raising our heads.

Also, we often imagine what others think, feel, we believe that everyone behave and thinks like us, and whenever it proves to be false, we experience a form of anger. This tendency that we have to attribute motives to others that they do not necessarily have prevents us from progressing along the path of freedom.

Thus, not making assumptions makes possible healthy and freer relations and communication, and freed from any unnecessary conflict. In addition, in pick-up, one can never know which girl will react positively nor which one will be a fucking aggressive bitch. So you have to become a philosopher to survive in such a jungle…

4 – Always do your best

Doing our best allows us to be able to change the height of the skipping bar, depending on our mood, our capabilities that can change from one moment to another. Doing one’s best is to never do too much but never to do not enought : thus, no self-judgment possible (one can not be blamed for having failed if he or she has done everything he or she could), no unnecessary energy loss. In seduction for example, one can be great one day and not have results the next day, but we do not care, because the essential is to try without bad spirit.

Doing your best improves our motivation to act without focusing on an immediate result, which increases our overall level of satisfaction. Doing one’s best allows us to evolve by accepting our limits, properly estimating our abilities, recognizing our mistakes and improving our awareness. Doing one’s best helps to avoid inaction and to pose the right action in the present moment, avoiding reference to the past and the suffering that may result from it. Doing one’s best is being able to be ourselves without any particular requirement, without having to conform.

Yeah, the community of seduction, it’s not just a gang of sex-starved assholes who want to fuck the maximum of chicks. We also think about life and about what can improve it: it is maybe why society in general does not really like us…

How to sexualize your conversations with unknown women ?

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