If you want to learn pick up and meet a lot of women, you must accept to undergo a lot of rejections. Because there is no foolproof method to seduce all girls, not even dark seduction (this branch of the game based on hypnosis, NLP and manipulation in general).
Yes, we still are rejected even when we fucked 215 chicks. Why ? Because we can not please everyone… on the other hand, where everything is played, it is that when we are liked by girls we like, we must be able to provoke chance and conclude.
Many guys approach in underwater mode, discreetly and indirectly, so as not to feel bad in case of rejection. It is a very bad idea: it is not what will help them to progress. In addition, it just communicates that they do not have the balls to assume their interest, which is a hard sell. Accepting the reality of the rejection and overcoming the fear of rejection is the solution that makes it possible to harden off, take good life lessons and develop your social intelligence.
Besides, the rejection is not necessarily something unpleasant. It’s like everything, it depends on our reality, how we see things. A rake can and should make us proud, because it means that we have taken action, which is a big step towards success. You should prefer a fail to not approaching, because being rejected means you have overcome all the excuses that guys usually invent to try nothing!
We read a lot on the Internet that when we are rejected, it is not we who are rejected but the image that we give when we approach. And so, if we take rakes is that we must have a bad game. It makes sense but it’s stupid. This is only partly true in part but it makes it possible to guilt guys and make them buy 3000 € a week coachings… then this legend persists. To remain sane, it is absolutely necessary to rationalize the thing and to understand that the problem can come from the woman who was approached. If she lacks of sociability skills, you have nothing to do with her. She could be in a hurry, in a couple and faithful, ill-bred, tired, annoyed by the 10 weirdos ones that came before you, lesbian … or just too closed-minded. Anyway, it is not you that she rejects but your proposal : it does not mean that you have necessarily badly approached her or that she finds you too ugly, it is just that she is not interested.
Your self-esteem should therefore not diminish with rejection (because it is not a fail). On the other hand, it should grow with success, which will make you in a sens invincible. “If it works so much better, if not I dont give a shit”: with such a state of mind, we are immediately more confident and relaxed. This means that you have to get away from the look of the others: if you need their opinion to prove that you are great, you have not yet acquired the good mindset.
The definition of the « rake »
What is a rake? Again, it depends on your reality. I personally take very few rakes but there are girls who do not give me their phone number or do not want to kiss me in a club. Because, for me, a rake : it would be a chick I really want, in whom I invested time and energy (even money), who I thought I could fuck but who in fact does not want me. A rake would be a rejection from a girl I do care about, in fact. I take one a year, something like that …
And for you, is a rake a sweetie left swipe on Tinder? A girl who does not want to give you her number? A girl who does not want to kiss you? One that does not want to sleep with you? One that tells you « go away asshole » ? Or worse, one that puts you in the friendzone? Choose a reality that helps you thrive…
How to react ?
It is never pleasant to be rejected, especially when you have the best intentions in the world. So, to keep up with time, you have to detach yourself a bit from the result and be casual.
In a respectful interaction, we must not be affected by (social, tactile or sexual) rejection, not feel hurt, and especially we must not be mad at the girl (never insult).
On the other hand, if we approach respectfully but the chick is disrespectful (for some, going out and playing the bitch, it’s funny): here I am sorry but we have the right to laugh (anyway we always have the right to laugh because the Game is a game), even to make fun of her and to troll her. It’s better to react like that than to accumulate frustration and beat the homeless like the guys in the movie Confession d’un dragueur.
What I’m saying is not easy to apply for a beginner and I’m sorry (if it was easy everybody would do that). But one must have a good philosophy of life to don’t go mad: be humble, strive to remain positive, just go and dare. If your wingman (pick-up teammate) dared to approach but was rejected, do not hesitate to encourage him, do not make fun of him. We, the players, should be in solidarity with each other.
You have to approcach a lot, it’s important because the results of social gatherings are statistical. The anxiety of approach will always be a bit there, but the first approaches (the warm up) allow to disinhibit… everything is based on a momentum : you can be a God with the women for one night but it does not mean you will be magic the other days.
Once warm, you become a Sith Knight of the pick-up (not a Jedi because I guess they are virgins!) It’s adrenaline that should keep you alive, soldier! You must love the challenge. Above all, talk to the chicks who seem to be inaccessible to you. Sometimes, in the night, I turn into Dark Vicious, my evil double, and I approach girls in any way. « Did you go out tonight to find a guy ? » ; « Wanna kiss me, sweetie ? »… once I even succeeded with a chick while amusing myself to imitate Mr. Merdocu. It’s TRUE! When I see a truly hot girl and my inner little voice tells me “give up, she is too beautiful for you”, I force myself to go there and to be very direct. I do not necessarily go so it works, I go there just to go, and I am very pleasantly surprised when I fuck hotties. Read my books Diary of a French PUA to find out more.
That makes it possible to understand that the game in an open environment (street, bar, Internet) is like playing in a free casino: you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. The key is to have fun by sorting between the interested girls and the others. If possible, you should like the process (the pick-up) as much as the results (the KC, the FC)! In any case, the approach must remain associated with positive emotions: you should be excited to go out, not frightened… but because one is more often rejected than sucked, one often forgets that the game is not just a succession of rakes. So, above all, never lose sight of the fact that it is not the 10 girls who put you in a rake that are important… but the girl you are going to romantically fuck doggy style. And keep in mind that sometimes even with the best game in the world you wouldn’t succeed with a girl, and sometimes with an average game you can pick-up chicks (but statistically it’s more profitable to have a good game). Never give up!