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Obsession to love

Obsession to loveUnless you have a chance to gather more accurate and usable information, or if you are not in good shape, you have nothing to gain by delaying the encounter and attempting to seduce a desired person.

Rakes are rarely the problem. On the other hand, disappointment after a long uncertain wait is truly destructive… What then? Getting back in the saddle, of course.

“I am very sad… my heart is in trouble… I loved this girl, I was thinking of her every day! I wanted to be with her, to hang out with her… but after our first date, she preferred to tell me, kindly by mail, that she did not want to go further with me !! ??? What did I do? Why do not she likes me ? It’s hard to get refused by a girl you love, it hurts in my heart…”

In fact, the girl was very nice to tell this guy what she thought rather than leaving him in ignorance by ease until he gets tired… Uncertainty is even worse than failure… believe me !

Who knows the reasons for this failure? Not the right place? Not the right way? Too many people aware?

The only valid thing to do is to approach a woman and try. Without trying to complicate everything. It is through this attitude that we will all find THE one, one of these days.

And for now? This guy suffers, he had so much bet on this girl … THE ONLY RIGHT THING THAT HE CAN DO now is to go out and empty his mind with his friends and meet other women.

Of course, some will advise him to write letters of love with his blood, to make suicide attempts or to scream naked under the window of the girl, but it is a very bad idea, in practice.

It is better to move on, even if the ego does not like this idea.

Next time, this guy will not wait several weeks before approaching or showing his interest… and one of the following times he will meet a person who will be delighted by his attentions. This misadventure was only a step towards his success. But he does not have the necessary distance to see it.

In fact, it is not the girl who makes him suffer, we must not blame her. He suffers from the love obsession he has imposed to himself by imagining what it would have been like if…

If you are in a similar case, do not depress in your corner. You have to get back into the saddle and in a while, like this guy, you will not feel any pain and will be able to use this rejection as a useful experience.

In the community of seduction, this pseudo-loving state is called the “One It Is” (the One and Only). It is a self-inflicted love obsession which leads one to think that only the coveted girl can give meaning to the void of his life, etc.

When we advise beginners to approach right away, or as quickly as possible, it is also to avoid getting into this kind of pitiful state…

It is a sort of pathology of feelings. Not only does it make you sick, but it usually makes impossible a vaguely effective approach to seduction.

I am going to give you a confidence that hurts: hardly anyone likes ashore people. And those who love them are often even more worrisome than others (Savior’s syndrome, manipulators, followers of the race to the bottom who will resent you to death if you start to succeed one day…)

Unfortunately, it’s almost mathematical: feeding a love obsession for a girl means losing ground and missing the target while failure is obviously not an option you want to consider. Whether we like it or not, finding and seducing the woman of your dreams requires knowing how to keep your cool : one must learn how to think clearly. But obviously, this is not enough: to lucidity, we must combine the safety of gestures.



“I think a guy who acts as you describe has a huge ego. “

For my part, I believe that a man who does what I describe does not depend on the goodwill (not to say the whims) of a woman to have a satisfying sexual life and can be happy with ONE woman only if he chooses this option.

It is not an exaggerated ego, in my opinion, to learn to respect each other and to do finish K.O. because of a woman (on who one’s would have focused by mistake).

Learning to pick women up is not going out in the street and playing the sex-starved dude by thinking that all women must be under our spell. It is an apprenticeship that makes it possible to find a partner without depending on the good will of society towards you. While doing experiments that make us grow, during the time we are waiting to find her…

And these experiments, on the contrary, require to silence your ego, because it is your ego that most often prevents you from going over. It is the ego that is afraid of the rejection, it is still the ego that begs you to don’t learn seduction, etc.

« More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego. » Albert Einstein

By playing on statistics and having a bit of audacity / assurance, you can do pretty much what you want in life!

Extract from : The basics of seduction

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