Having questioned quite a lot of couples about their breaks, I identified an unchanging process, in 5 phases. The conclusion: if your priority is not maintaining a strong sexual attraction, then it will be your fault if your couple takes in water.
The sexual relation
Any relation « really » begins with an enthusiast fuck. With the mutual sexual attraction (a lot of sex). If you do not penetrate a girl, she is not really your girlfriend. Kissing or holding her hand, it’s no big deal.
The emotional relation
After a while, the sexual interest decreases inevitably a little and you fall in the affection. For example : you are sitting next to her in the sofa of the lounge watching a movie instead of taking her on the coffee table, you give her cute nicknames instead of asking her if she likes your cock, you hold her hand and talk to her for hours instead of pushing her against a wall and kissing her tits.
The affection is a good thing but it is the way it affects your relation which is bad : it decreases the sexual tension. Yet, if you do not maintain a high level of attraction between both of you, and if you are taken for granted, you’re dead. From « enthusiastic fuck », you can fall in « pure affection » in a few months. All this seems magnificent but if you do not make efforts to maintain a sexual tension in your couple, you direct it in a wrong direction.
The relation based on purity
Because of the routine, of your comfort and everything, you are not really attracted any more the one by the other. Seeing her naked in the bathroom does not make you be hard any more. In fact, you prefer connecting on a site to masturbate in secret rather than fucking her. In the bedroom, she talks about her colleagues instead of drinking your sperm and singing in yoghurt.
Paradoxically, in spite of the lack of quality sex, there is a thing which interests you : her purity. In other words, you do not want that she has sex with another one, even if YOU do not fuck her anymore. You always want to know where she goes and with whom. You defend her purity, YOUR illusion of purity.
In fact, you do not want that a guy ruins the memories of the story you had with this woman by fucking her in his turn. In spite of your lack of interest for her, you feel loved because she sleeps with nobody else. You are not absolutely ready to overcome your illusion of purity. From fits of jealousy to fits of jealousy, your relation is threatened. None of you is happy. And she sleeps with another one (the term « cuckold » is used only if she gets pregnant).
With that said, it’s not the fault of the other guys if she deceives you. It is because the sex with you doesn’t satisfy her anymore. It’s your fault, but she can adore you anyway, it is just that in the bed, it is no more too much that … You became in a way her buddy …
The relation which causes too many problems
One day, you get up and you do not give a shit of her purity anymore. She could fuck your best friend under your eyes, that would not even irritate you. She doesn’t give a damn also that you have a relation with this « whore of the accounting ». It is now too late to save your couple. The only reason why you are still together it is because you find that it is too difficult to leave her.
You avoid breaking because you are afraid of her typically feminine reaction : tears, shouts, hysteria, etc. You think that she would be so sad that she could even commit suicide. Indeed, the women need more time than us to put back their business in order and to turn over a new leaf. And then, there is a house, children, lawyers, common account and also, AND what would say your families and your friends? WE DON’T CARE !!!
« What, I am going to have to begin again to pick up ? No, I cannot do that. I prefer staying in my glass prison rather than being really free but having to make daily efforts. I am weak … »
The end of the relation
Your feelings dominate you. Anxiety and depression alert you that you should not continue anymore too long in this way. No matter how much it will be difficult or how much it will cost you, you have to get out of this lousy trap.
Never forget that the affection has to be the product of a sexually intense relation… If you think that her affection is acquired for ever and that you can rest on your experiences, it is at your own risk. You are warned! The attraction can be short-lived, it is a selfish whore who has sex and leaves without saying good bye.
Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations