The words you need to know in the community of seduction :
Alpha male: A virile and attractive man.
Alphaness: Attitude of alpha male.
AMOG (Alpha Male Other Guy): It’s the rival, the one that’s competing with you. He is by definition dangerous for your game.
AFC (Average Frustrated Chump): Boy who has no idea how the relationships between men and women work. Timid and limited, he is convinced that it is enough simply to wait and “to be himself” to fall on the girl of his dreams and realize his wildest fantasies.
AI (Approach Invitation): A non-formal invitation that indicates a sign of interest or curiosity. For example, in a nightclub, it is a girl who looks at you from afar to tell you that she finds you attractive or that dances right next to you with her friend for you to approach.
ASD (Anti Slut Defense): This is a protective mechanism for the female ego that is triggered by a player error, he believed it was won and his excess of confidence triggered the mistrust of the player. (“What, I, an easy girl? I’ll show him…”).
Attraction: Creating Attraction is attracting a woman. It’s also creating sexual tension.
Bob the AFC: A Bob is a nice guy who has a hard time seducing a girl.
Buyer’s remorse: The regret of the buyer. This is when the girl regrets having slept with you or kissed you… Sometimes because of the guilt she feels (for example if she feels easy girl), sometimes because you have been bad in bed, etc.;
BT (Buying Temperature): This is the level of attraction of the girl, her desire to “buy you”. The image comes from the marketing world (like many other things in the community of seduction): in pick-up, you are both the seller and the product… and for the girl to want to “buy” you, you have to work on the product (your lifestyle thanks to personal development, which will guarantee a healthy relationship) and your sales strategy (your approach techniques). There are different levels of BT. Imagine the BT as a temperature displayed on a thermometer. When the girl’s BT is low, she does not even let you talk to her. When her BT is a little higher, she sends you IOI. A little higher still, she lets you kiss her, and so on. BT is a purely emotional phenomenon: sometimes some girls have reached a BT level enough to sleep with you, but do not allow themselves to follow their desire for various reasons: they want to remain faithful, either by principle or because of social pressure, etc.
BL (Body Language): It is the body language… ie the set of attitudes, postures and gestures of a person. On the one hand, you have to look after your BL. On the other hand, learning how to decrypt the BL of other people helps to better understand what they feel and have in mind.
Bootcamp: A bootcamp is a series of exercises to do over several days or weeks to improve your seduction ability. For a shy person, the first exercise of a bootcamp can be to ask something on the street to 10 people.
BST (Boyfriend Smashing Techniques): Technique whose aim is to devalue the boyfriend of a target so that she cheats on him.
Bitch shield: A set of techniques used by women to avoid passing off as easy girls and thus to keep men at bay. It is said that a girl is bitchshielded when she rejects all the propositions.
Canned stuff: It means “prepared stuff”. The seducer can prepare material in advance (stories, original answers to be placed in everyday situations, way of presenting his personality). The “canned” material is reflected and learned alone, assimilated, like the text of an actor. This technique is very useful to begin : from your previous experience, from the testimonies of other players, it is possible to collect the behaviors most likely to be seductive, and to systematically integrate them into your way of life. The consciousness that this method entails is one of the ways used in the community of seduction to effect a transformation of the personality: we start from the most “superficial” behaviors like speech, certain gestures and attitudes, to move progressively towards something deeper (body language, beliefs, trust, charisma, etc.)
Chick Logic (feminine logic): A slightly pejorative term that means that women have no logic except following the desire of the moment and then rationalizing. For example, “I slept with this guy because Chuck is dead in Gossip Girl.”
Comfort: Designates a stage in the process of seduction (the three main ones are “approach, comfort and seduction”). It involves getting to know each other, making sure the girl feels comfortable and confident with you.
Close: Soft word to say you have arrived at your goal. There are several types of closes: the num-close (numbering), the kiss-close (you kissed your target), the fuck-close (you slept with your target). Afterwards, there are countless other variations (email-close, blowjob-close)…
Cockblock: A person who, through his intervention, blocks your interaction with the target and prevents you from advancing towards your goals in terms of pick-up. It can be a girlfriend of a girl, a member of her family, an ex who would be jealous, a rival (or AMOG), and so on.
Crash & Burn: It’s going into the crowd and be very direct with a woman and then move on to the next one by don’t giving a shit if she is not receptive.
Calibrate: Adapt.
Comfort Zone: This is the comfort zone. This refers to the imaginary zone in which you avoid putting yourself in situations that would stress you. This varies from one individual to another. Many people spend a dreary life, stuck in their CZ, their routine. When you face your anguish, you get out of your CZ. Leaving his CZ means to pushing the limits. In your case, it may be to go down the street and approach a girl. An important part of the work is to become aware of your limit zone (the opposite of the CZ), your comfort zone and the balance that must be respected in order to move forward: if you take too little risk, boredom and lack of progress will be your enemies and will demotivate you, but if you are out of your comfort zone all the time, you will exhaust yourself. You have to find a balance between the two: consider your comfort zone as your capital, and your limit zone as an investment… for a healthy and prosperous economy, you need to invest and take risks, but not too much, because you risk losing all your capital. The better you manage and the more effort you make, the more your comfort zone gets bigger, the more you will progress.
Cocky and Funny: Term popularized by the American coach David DeAngelo. It is a type of behavior based on teasing and sexual allusions while remaining light. The goal is obviously to be thought of as a cool guy who is confident, but also to turn the girl on.
Date: Designates a date with a girl.
Disqualify: It is the opposite of qualifying. In seduction, to disqualify means to clearly show to the target that one does not try to seduce her. You can disqualify a target or disqualify yourself. For example, if you say “ah you’re a brunette, shame on you, I prefer blondes,” you disqualify her. On the other hand, if you say “I’m a bad lover, plus I do not know how to cook, you better try with the guy over there”, you disqualify yourself. Contrary to what one might think, disqualifying sometimes sub-communicates relevant information (that you do not try to seduce her nor impress her and that you have self-mockery: being indifferent means that you are not absolutely needy, so that you have other options, so that you are preselected and also that you have humor).
Dead Man Walking: A guy whose relationship with his girlfriend is over even if he does not know it yet.
DHV (Demonstration Higher Value): Technique for valorizing with a woman and arousing her interest. Be careful not to overdo it (no bragging). DHVing is talking about your trip to Argentina, your meeting with such and such star, etc.
DLV (Demonstration Lower Value): this is the opposite of DHV. It is to shoot yourself a bullet in the foot by evoking your problems (no money at the end of the month, problems to seduce girls, depression, etc.) in front of a girl that is supposed to be seduced. It makes her want to run away. Avoid at all costs!
Eye Contact: An EC is a look exchanged between two individuals. It can be stealthy or maintained. We can sometimes interpret it as a sign of interest or an invitation to approach.
Eliciting Values: Important values that a woman looks for in a man. For example if she likes tall men, it’s because she needs to feel protected.
Escalation: Means “going to next step”. For example, “kino escalation” is used to talk about the evolution of physical contact since the first time you touch someone (her hand or the upper arm) until you kiss her or sleep with her.
Flake: This is the name given to the cancellation of a date for false reasons and at the last minute. The metaphor corresponds to a snowflake that would melt into our hands while we naively think we could catch it. Note that if the date is canceled for good reasons and the girl compensates with a counterproposal, we can not consider that she really spun between our fingers.
Fluff: Discussion with no interest or purpose (talking about the weather, your appointment with the dentist, etc.) More generally, it is any discussion that is not structured according to a game plan (therefore with a purpose, a function to seduce). Know that any topic of conversation can be good for seduction, that it is the strength or emotional direction that is really important (yes, you can talk about the dentist and be seductive, as surprising as it may sound).
Frame: It’s our state of mind, our way of seeing the world. It is a concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). The stimuli our brain receives constantly are too numerous for us to take them all into account: the resulting limitation defines the reality in which we live. Three images allow us to quickly identify this concept.
1 / The glass half full or half empty: commonplace, this image is nonetheless extremely useful. It is possible, in all situations, to focus on positive elements, contributions for ourselves and others, or loss and negative elements. It is central to understand that this is only a choice to make.
2 / The video camera: our perceptions are limited, and we are only able to see reality through a reduced frame, like a video camera. Life is like a party with one of your friends: you have the choice between spending your time recording the dispute between Jeannot and Marie-Claire or the romantic and playful meeting of David with Sophie. You can apply this to any type of situations and reflections. We have no control over what is happening to us, but nothing and no one can take away the choice of taking things positively or negatively.
3 / Sunglasses: when you wear it, you see the same world as the others, but at the same time a darker world, in which everything is different. Having a frame of success, or a frame of happiness, is to be able to see success and happiness in everything we do and in everything that happens to us. Everyone is capable of that. The frame is like a muscle, if you train every day to model your frame the way you want, you will become more and more skilled at directing your own thoughts and making yourself happy.
Open environment: it is the street, the clubs, the dating sites. Where you do not have to see a woman after trying to seduce her.
Closed environment: this is your company, your office, your school. Where you risk seeing women again and where your reputation precedes you.
Freeze out: A technique that overcomes a Last Minute Resistance, namely the fear that a woman can feel just before a sexual act, and that is often the last obstacle in the pickup process. Instead of a needy behavior such as getting excited, supplicating, arguing or trying to physically excite a little more (which is nevertheless the most effective solution after the FO) it is better to feign disinterest for sex considering that if the woman does not want to, it does not matter. So you have to move on to another activity: breaking the charm of intimacy (caressing, kissing) and switching to an activity without sexual tension, such as watching TV, playing a card game or whatever, produces several effects : you show that you are still fine without sex, as if you were already in a long-term relationship, you show that the absence of sex does not affect you, which means indirectly that you have women an abundance (preselection by other women) and that you control your emotions. You finally show that you are a sexed being who respects his own sensuality: you are not going to play forever, and the woman has to choose between intimacy with sex or nothing intimate (because in any case you live in the abundance and other women therefore desire you so too bad for her).
Friend Zone (FZ – Friendly Zone): The girl who puts a guy in the FZ sees him as a friend with whom she will never sleep. It is very difficult to get out of this zone, which is a real swamp of shifting sands. Avoid it at all costs.
Field: It’s a pick up place (it can be a bar, a street, a website, etc.) The field report it’s when you tell a pick up.
Field Tested: Too many beginners speculate on hypothetical techniques. Arguing that a technique is Field Tested is to ensure its effectiveness.
Game: A term that refers to the game of seduction as a whole. It was popularized by the book by Neil Strauss.
Guy Thinking Too Much: Scientific seduction was introduced by geeks very gifted in logic but who had no social intuition. Many of these men have analytic personalities, are incapable of being natural and always need to refer to a theory instead of listening to their intuitions. On the ground, they spend their time thinking about details that have no purpose instead of acting, it’s a shame!
H2G (Hard to Get): DHV technique to don’t be regarded as a sex-starving person. An H2G man does not make out with any girl and does not do anything for a girl. Behaving in this way helps you gain self-confidence. But, be careful, being too H2G can be an excuse to justify your loneliness and lack of balls (especially with desperate and full of bad faith players).
HB (Hot Babe): Subjective rating of a girl’s beauty. The note of the same girl can vary between two players. In general, a HB is a hottie, rated between 6 and 10.
HSE (High Self Esteem): High self-esteem. An HSE girl would accept a few funny jokes about her without flinching, unlike an LSE.
Instant date: Having a date instantly with a girl we just met. Typically: a café after approaching the street.
IOI (Indicator of Interest): Any verbal or non-verbal signs that show a woman is interested in you: she asks you for your first name, asks if you have not already met somewhere, what is your perfume, looks at you insistently smiling, etc. On the contrary, there are the signs of disinterest (IOD).
Kino: Action to touch your target without disturb her. Touching someone creates a connection and lets you know if seduction begins to bear fruit or not.
Kino Girl: Touchy girl, loving to be touched and touching without necessarily meaning that she is interested… it’s just her nature.
Inner game: Improving your inner game is becoming more authentic. It is becoming more confident and exceed your limits to seduce the women that you like.
Outer game: These are the actual seduction techniques, routines, approach phrases, transitions, and all the details that allow to act concretely.
IRL (In Real Life): means in real life, as opposed to virtual.
Try too hard: To do too much to try to impress, to compensate a complex. Acting in this way usually communicates bad things.
LJBF: “Let’s be just friends”: the typical phrase that many women use to say to a man that they do not consider him as a potential sexual partner. This is the phrase that often accompanies relegation to Friendzone. The sentence itself is not as dramatic as the relational framework it introduces…
LMR: Last Minute Resistance. It is the fear that some women feel just before the beginning of the sexual act, whose intensity varies according to women, and which is linked to the fear of seeing the man disappear just after. Typically the girl is in your room but no longer wants to make love for a silly reason or think you take her for an easy girl. The main weapon against the LMR is the Freeze Out, but it is recommended, in order to avoid this blockage, to show you like her (and a legitimate interest, in other words a good qualification) with sufficient conviction and congruence and do not show any signs of neediness either.
LSE: Low Self Esteem: a person whose self-esteem is low or bad. An LSE person tends to don’t know how to receive compliments because they will not match the self-image he/she has, and tends to seek relationships in which he/she will be treated in accordance with this image (thus mistreated). In terms of frame, it will be said that the person filters all the situations to retain only the negative interpretations and elements. Such behavior is often so deeply anchored that the person profoundly believes that his or her “bad” situation is not a state of mind, but a reality that can not be changed, a fate. An LSE suffers and needs help, a thorough work is needed, and it can be tricky or difficult to maintain a healthy and harmonious relationship with such a person.
LTR: Long term relationship. Relationship (intimate, affective) in the long term. It is often considered that a serious, long-term relationship begins after 3 months of an ongoing and exclusive relationship.
Mister Nice Guy: True AFC, Mister Nice Guy has a lot of female friends who constantly say he’s wonderful while he is single and they are fucking other men. Mister Nice Guy therefore has little or no sexual relations, it is the cousin of Bob the AFC.
MILF (Mother I would Like to Fuck): A mature but attractive woman, usually a mother. For a young man, it can be a friend of his mother or even the mother of his best friend. Beyond that, after 45 years, one begins to speak of cougar woman. There is an older woman fetishism about MILFs: it is one of the most wanted types of pornographic videos on the Internet.
Mojo: Energy, psycho-corporal motivation at a given moment. We also speak of momentum or flow to qualify this positive state of creativity and inner strength.
Needy: Frustration, sexual need too visible. A guy who demonstrates that he desperately seeks the attention, sexual or emotional favors of another person. This is called neediness. Some words, but mostly bodily attitudes are signs of neediness: as a rule, as soon as there is an imbalance between the attention that two people are giving to each other, the person who gives more than the other tends to seem needy. Too great neediness does not generally appear to be attractive to those who are targeted. This is why it is fundamental to work on the characteristics and attitudes that demonstrate an absence of neediness to improve your charisma and attraction. However, do not confuse being needy and affirming your desire for a woman. The affirmation of desire must work as a gift to the other, without waiting for reciprocity. It is also important to understand the system of representation in which your interlocutor evolves: the criteria of what is needy or non-needy can vary from one person to another, and during the game of seduction. However, it is obviously the criteria of your target that are decisive. Ultimately, an LSE would get along well with a needy!
Neg: Kind of innocent remark or inadmissible compliment addressed to a girl who thinks a little too much she’s a princess, who is snobbish. The goal is to get her down from her pedestal and feel she does not impress you. The idea is that once you are on an equal footing, you can undertake to build a relationship. One of the best known negs: « Nice nails… are they real? » This plays on the insecurities of girls, to be used on confident women and HSEs. But beware, we get treated as a big asshole if we abuse it or if we are clumsy. And if this is the case, usually it breaks more sexual tension than it creates… and game over !
Next: Knowing how to next means knowing when to give up. It saves time and energy to dedicate them to a less problematic, more motivated woman, etc.
One itis (OI): Love obsession, idealized and fantasized image of a woman. One speaks of obsession because the OI makes lose all sense of the reality and must not be confused with the true love. The AFCs (and therefore sometimes the young players with their first successes) are often victims because they do not know how to control their emotions, do not have a high self-esteem and generally do not have sex often (which would enable them to take a step back from the importance of this woman in particular). Many men are persuaded to have found the woman of their lives by having seen her only a few times! The poor man in one-itis will gradually convince himself that this girl is unique and extraordinary and that her happiness depends on her, which means that he will no longer really be himself in his presence. In our society, it is very well seen to be ready to do anything for the chosen one of your heart, we see there a mark of love powerful and sincere… In reality, this kind of behavior is anything but attractive. The classic scheme of an OI is the following: the man meets a woman and very quickly develops feelings for her, before even knowing her well. As this man is generally not sexed or seductive and does not escalade towards the sexual act, he enters without realizing it in the Friendzone. Then, one day, suffering too much from the friend-friend relationship he hopes to see evolve, he declares his love and takes a devastating rejection. Indeed, she only saw him as a friend. There is also the frequent case of the one who falls in OI on his best friend or on a girl he (badly) fucked. The problem is that in the vast majority of cases, an intimate friend can not be considered as a lover in the mind of a woman. Becoming the best friend is often the best way that AFCs have found to stay close to a woman who attracts them. It is imperative to be able to identify the IO and to move away from it as soon as possible. If possible, eliminate any contact with the person you like so much at first to regain personal integrity.
ONS: One Night Stand. Coup d’un soir, sex without a tomorrow.
Open: Approach.
Opener: Sentence to start a conversation.
Pattern: Routine created in order to put the other in the desired emotional state using NLP principles.
Peacocking: Wearing dress to attract attention. The goal is to differentiate themselves from others, for example with accessories, and to give a pretext to the girls interested to approach and touch you. Comes from the word “peacock” in English.
Pivot: A kind of female wing. This term comes from the fact that your friend approaches a group or sympathizes with a woman so that you “pivot” around her and that she can introduce you. Because she’s a woman, your chances of success will increase considerably if she opens. Indeed, there will be less chance that the group rejects her and she will be a powerful “social proof”, especially if she is pretty…
Player: Seduction is seen as a game (cf. the game). The player is therefore the one who plays it, who maybe wants to become a PUA. This term is also used outside the community. And they sometimes say “do not hate the player, hate the game”.
NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Branch of Psychology, founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder by analyzing the work on the hypnotic trance of Milton Erickson. The two founders have formed a system of tools that influence their own representations and representations of others (mainly) through language. This movement, whose popularity in the United States quickly crossed the Atlantic, was taken over by the seduction community to understand and master the emotional mechanisms in the interactions.
PUA: Pick Up Artist. Artist of the dredge, seducer confirmed. Grade, the highest to the rank of seduction. Since this is a self-assigned title, there are fakes. And a lot of criticism: there will always be people saying that PUAs are not balanced people and they are looking to escape a deep discomfort. This is true or false, depending on the case. Some PUAs are not models of inner peace, others are more so than the majority of people. But the ideal of true PUA is to continually improve, to find a path of balance and respect in his sexual and social life. Seduction goes beyond the mere fact of adding women to your kill count : it is a way of finding one’s own identity, of locating oneself in relations with others and of gaining maturity. For many, it is a quasi-therapeutic way to overcome shyness and to become confident in society.
Qualification: The pick-up phase in which the man communicates to the woman the reasons why he is interested in her and that allow her to consider him as a partner. Most beautiful women have almost infinite possibilities to have sex, it is for this reason that it is not advisable to use their physical appearance as an argument in the qualification. Doing so would mean belonging to the same category as the hundreds of men who do it on a daily basis. Moreover, a large proportion of women find qualification as a major element of attraction: they will allow themselves much more easily to desire a man who desires them in a legitimate way, that is to say who wants them for certain traits of their personality, and which gives them the feeling of being unique and special.
Routine: A routine is a story that has been used several times in the past and that the player uses to captivate his target. And, the more you use it, the more the routine is mastered. Generally, routines serve to hold the target’s attention, to under-communicate attractive characteristics, or to generate emotions. It can go far : some have used routines hundreds of times, some for over thirty minutes.
Set: This is a term used in seduction to designate a group of people that contains potential targets.
Shit test: Or “chick test”. Attitudes of women whose purpose (most often unconscious) is to test your self-mastery, your persistence or your limits. It is a way for them to know if the boy has good reproductive value and is confident by asking dumb questions to test him. They want to take the best of all the men available to them (it is necessary to realize that a beautiful girl is relatively often approached, and even more when she goes out at night, she lives constantly with thousands of options). A shit-test is sometimes a trick question that aims to eliminate boys judged below the level of demands of women. To answer a shit-test, this is the way that matters. It is better to respond ironically to show the absurdity of the question.
Example: “Why are not you going to seduce this girl?
– Okay, are you coming with me?”
Social Proof: To define the social value of a man, a woman uses external elements like the perception of this man by others (yes, most people are sheep). A girl will have more interest and trust in an individual who has been previously selected by others, to whom she assignes value if possible. Social proof is the recognition expressed by the environment towards the player. When you are somewhere and you know everyone, you are said to be “social proofed”. If you take a girl to a club/bar/restaurant where you know the boss, waiters, and where many people come to say hello to you, you do not give her the same impression than if everyone else was ignoring you. It shows that you have a fairly rich social life. Moreover, if people around you seem to like you, they will tend to love you too. For example, in the night, even before approaching a girl, if she has seen before that you know many people and they laugh in your presence, she will be more receptive. Warning, if people seem to take you for an idiot, social proof would then have the opposite effect.
Social circle: Social circle.
Sarger: Going out to pick up and seduce “on the field” to practice the theory of seduction. We can speak of a good sarge, a nice sarger or a desire to sarge… the term comes from the name of the cat of Ross Jeffries, the creator of the community of seduction.
Story Telling: Action to tell a captivating story with lots of emotions and twists to captivate a woman’s attention. May contain a final morality olike “carpe diem, let’s make love” to make her want to let it go. Technique that can also consist of telling stories and memories by embellishing them so as to raise the interest of our target for us.
SPU (Street Pick Up): Literally translates as street seduction. There is also mainly the “night pickup” which takes place by definition at night… and the “online dating”, on sites and dating applications.
Target : The lady or woman to seduce is seen as a goal. Dehumanizing her somewhat allows you to give yourself more courage to start to meet her and sexualize more easily. Gainsbourg, in a song, said “I think of you as a target”: it’s a bit that, the idea!
Time Constraint (often False Time Constraint): A technique of setting a time limit on our target to put her back to the wall and speed things up. Useful also when approaching a woman in a hurry: she is given the indication that we are just passing and that we are already about to leave before asking her a question, which shows that we will not harass her during one hour. It is supposed to relax the target and works like a foot in the door because sometimes there is no real intention to leave quickly.
Wingman (wing): Friend/colleague with whom you are going on the field, usually it is a guy who knows the various techniques and methods of pick-up.
Warpig: HB rated below 5, meaning “ugly”, which refers to girls who are physically unattractive. Often, the lousy girlfriend of our target, the same who puts us sticks in the wheels and who is jealous that her girlfriend can have fun with cool boys like you! ;
Prize: It’s the price in the interaction.
Fast seduction: It is rapid seduction, it consists of sexualizing and kinesthetically escalating quickly. This method teaches how to play with sexual tension. Thanks to it, sometimes you can sleep with girls 10 minutes after you met them. In some cases of LMR, for example, stepping up sexual tension to excite the woman will allow you to fuck her, but not putting her in the fridge. That’s what this method taught me. Yes, here again, you must calibrate and choose your school…
Speed seduction: This is the seduction school of Ross Jeffries, the creator of our community. It is seduction through communication (patterns, NLP, hypnosis, etc.). It is sometimes referred to as “dark seduction” (the not very ethical face of the community of seduction).
The Mystery Method: One of the first methods of seduction. Mystery PUA organized seduction in phases (attraction, comfort and seduction), themselves containing several sub-stages (opener, DHV, etc.). But this school is today surpassed by more powerful tools: Mystery said you need at least 8 hours to sleep with a girl, which is obviously wrong. However, there are still some good things in his work!
Extract from : The basics of seduction
I fucked a blond surfer
A good thing to improve your game is to meet other good seducers in your city. Stay humble and cool even if you are better than them because the exchange is (almost) always rewarding.
Erectile dysfunction: this is a very sensitive subject but that concerns many men, especially over age 40. It is also an almost taboo subject, because loss of erection rhyme for many people with loss of virility (sometime people talk about “sexual impotence”).
On 28 January 2016,
January 22th 2016,