You probably know, I’m not a “dancer” in a club. I do not like dancing and even less when it’s not with a girl.
So, I’ll let more expert people give you video lessons to be a great dancer in a club.
See ya !
In situations of stress, we usually feel our voice changing.
Compare your voice in situations of stress and your voice on waking in the morning. Your voice on waking is generally more serious, relaxed, rested… slower. It approaches what should be your natural voice!
The secret of a natural voice does not lie in the way you work your voice. We are not in a singing context where it is necessary to position your voice at a certain level. We are in a totally different context and all the advice that can be given to you will not replace the one I am going to give you: the secret of the tone of the natural voice is in your state of congruence and relaxation.
You know perfectly when you speak with your natural tone of voice, you feel this perfect harmony between what you are and what you are showing. The tone of your natural voice requires no effort to speak, it is a relaxing, clear, fluid tone of voice. In general, when you are comfortable, you speak even quite slowly.
A shy person, on the contrary, tends to contract. The result: a voice that releases a lot of restraint, a lack of projection, a lack of confidence. A person with something to hide, would tend to over-play, to listen to his voice, to over-articulate, to seek perfection in his voice… this is not at all what we want !
1) Take a sentence and say it in different ways.
2) Relax, breathe deeply and say 10 times more and more slowly: « The God of the Game is with me ». You find at the last rehearsal something that can approach your natural tone of voice.
3) Memorize this tone and speak this way whenever you can, especially in the usual situations of stress (such as when approaching a woman).
Extract from : The basics of seduction
In the community of seduction, a sign of interest is called IOI (indicator of interest).A woman (just like a man) can send you a sign of interest voluntarily to encourage you to pick her up and show you that she wants you… but one does not always control his body nor his emotions, so she can also send IOI unintentionally (usually it’s involuntary when they are signs of nervousness and excitement) and thus reveal her emotional state.
In addition, an IOI can be verbal or non-verbal… In other words, a sign of interest can be a gesture or a word.
There are an endless list of signs of interest that can be interpreted differently depending on the context. That’s why, Mystery (a famous PUA) advises waiting until you have detected three signs of interest before trying a kissclose.
But be careful, waiting for signs of interest before you take initiatives can make you lose girls, especially if you are a beginner who does not really trust his judgment (a girl usually gets bored sending IOI after a while if the guy does not act and loses her attraction for him).
Moreover, some girls do not even know how to make a signal and/or are conditioned to wait for the man to do all the work. With this kind of girl, you will never have any sign of interest: the signs of interest are therefore a security that one can not always afford. So, know that basically, a sign of interest can simply be the absence of disinterest: if the girl does not grasp any excuse to leave (eg “joining her friends”), it is already very well !
You can nevertheless have fun provoking signs of interest (or disinterest) thanks to the compliance test (see my video on the subject). However, basically, the only sign of interest you really need is that she stays with you when you take initiatives. If she was not yet convinced by your strengths, being straightforward can raise the temperature up a notch and create the rest of the attraction. Otherwise, chances are it would not work anyway.
*She compliments you a little on everything and anything
*She’s involved in conversation, enthusiastic
*She laughs at your jokes/comments, even when it’s bad
*She seems to force herself to say that she appreciates the same things you do
*She lists what you could do together in the future, she tests your availability. Technique: you can also test and casually evoke another date to see her reaction and if she likes the idea
*She asks you personal questions
*She feeds the conversation. Technique: after a while, you can let the conversation die to see if it will try to fill the void
*She talks about your potential girlfriend (in order to know if you actually have one) and/or shows her affectivo-sexual availability
*She asks you for your Facebook, your phone number or proposes to see her again (this is a big IOI)
*She tries to impress you in a domain where she feels that you understand her, she seeks your validation in general
*She teases you (see if there are other IOI to confirm)
*She acts like a child (sulk, laughs at everything and nothing)
*If you are in a group, her attention is focused on you
* She whispers with her friends by looking at you (in association with other IOI)
*She touches you when she speaks. And sometimes, when she touches you, she lets her hand on you a little more than necessary. You can touch her and she is not afraid of the proximity
*She caresses your hand or answers by doing the same thing when you caress her
*She clears her face by passing her hand through her hair or she plays with/eats her hair (see if there are other IOI to confirm)
*Her body is oriented towards you
*She looks you in the eyes (and maintains the eye contact)
*She touches her face or neck in a somewhat sensual way by looking at you
*She synchronizes with you. She copies you in terms of: posture, volume and flow of speech, breathing, laughing…
*She plays with a phallic object between her fingers
*She smiles at you, a real smile
*Her pupils widen when she looks at you in the eyes
*She shows her wrist(s), caressing one or her bracelet
*She moistens her lips, shows her tongue or passes it on her lips or her teeth
*She prepares and dresses well to show herself at her best when she comes to see you
*She does not feed the conversation (closed answers, very short, in a single word)
*Her arms are crossed in front of her chest, her legs are crossed on the ankles (the opening of her body is, on the contrary, generally a sign of interest)
*When you turn to her, she leans back (moves away from you)
*She does not put her assets in value (especially her chest)
*She never glances at you
*She looks at the time and pretext that she should not leave too late (but this may be true so always check if there are others IOI or not)
Learn the different signs of interest and then forget about them. You do not have to spend your life counting IOI, especially as it is not an exact science but rather an indicator (so it’s more comfort than a trigger in my opinion). Anyway, a bit of behavioralism can not hurt a player. You must ultimately learn to feel instinctively when a girl is interested (your brain will have assimilated the IOI and will process this data automatically).
When in doubt, always prefer to try your luck rather than listening to your inner voice that would tell you to stay in your comfort zone. Because even a failure makes us grow.
Come on, give the girls a little fun, sell them some dream if you have received a lot of IOI. If you are flooded with IOI, lay them against a wall to kiss them wildly! 😉
The sexual aura existsI do not think that we are just a body. I mean, there is a mental, a physical appearance but I believe that there is at least a third dimension: the energy. And this possible sexual aura increases the attraction of a girl compared with a simple cute physical appearance.
First example, Chuck Bass is the most famous character in the successful TV show Gossip Girl. Nevertheless, he is in competition with two hot guys : Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford) and Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley). However, the actor Ed Westwick has more fans on Facebook than his counterparts who have a more advantageous physical appearance. I quote envy.fr : “We cannot say that the physical appearance of Ed Westwick is very advantageous but it is his Chuck Bass’ role in Gossip Girl which makes him be considered as a sex symbol.” What turns the girls on with Chuck, except for the fact that he is stinking rich, it is that he has a total sexual freedom. He is very sexual. He is unpredictable and very “hot”: he would be the last one to judge a girl. By his side, in their imagination, they would be free to have fun with impunity and would enjoy life by realizing their fantasies.
Second example, Ian Somerhalder had important roles… but it is by embodying the dark Damon Salvatore in the TV show The Vampire Diaries that he became really famous. We were able to see him in the season 1 of the famous show Lost, but few people noticed him at that time. Furthermore, he supplants his sexy counterparts (they are all handsome in the show) thanks to the attitude of his character. For example, Paul Wesley who embodies Stefan Salvatore has the leading part but is nevertheless less popular. Why ? Damon is much funnier, more exciting, a little bit the same style than Chuck… he has something very sexual too.
Third example: Robert Pattison.
Public : Do you pay attention to your look?
Robert Pattinson : It’s funny. Before Twilight, I never thought about it, then people started judging me and then, that really made me think. And the strangest, it is that before Twilight, I was never casted for the roles of handsome guys ! Nobody found me beautiful and now it is the opposite !
The actor Robert Pattinson, sexy as hell according to Ladies, has not too many illusions on love which carry him his fans. He declares that his fans are not in love with him but with the character of Edward Cullen whom he embodies in the movie Twilight. But he admits that sometimes he would like to think the opposite because he was when he was young not very appreciated by the girls. Source : melty.fr
In this case too, it is thus the sexual energy, the aura of the character (strong and wild vampire) that makes the girls wet. Then, they are rationalizing by saying “he is so hot”. Got it ?
Then what ?
The girls are not concerned by techniques: they look for a character who pleases them, they don’t care why. They look for the result. So, no matter what you say if it corresponds to an exciting character. It is thus necessary to build up an attractive character. The idea is that at the beginning, you will remodel your current mindset to change it by the one of a pure winner. And then, little by little, your “character” and “real yourself” are going to overlap to give birth to a “better you”. Then, success calling success, it is about a vicious circle.
* Stay a gentlemen.
*Say “no” : “Can we sit down here ?
– No, let’s sit down rather here”.
* Tease her : “I hate when you say that!
– And well, you would better leave me because I often say it.”
* Control, do not obey without thinking.
* Discuss with a girl about kisses and embraces (in detail). Read sentimental novels and take note of descriptions. Even if it seems stupid to you, the girls adore, thus use it! By discussing with a girl, if you speak about kisses or touches and if you develop details (“I would like to touch your shoulders with the fingertips and to go along your neck”), she is going to start imagining the scene. And because the unconscious has difficulties to make the difference between the imagination and the reality, that should create some desires in her.
* Be “cool” : A cool guy is not overexcited, a cool guy is not affected, a cool guy is not reactive emotionally, a cool guy keeps control of himself…
You act as if you had:
– The (mysterious) confidence
– The (daring) humor
– The spirit (player)
– The charm (heat)
– The control (sophisticated)
– The leadership (volunteer)
– The class (say things in the eyes but with gallantry)
– The style
– The grace
– The comfort
– The composure
– A ceaseless sense of humor
– An insensitivity in the opinions of others
A real man :
– Knows that a girl who has an experience with him will never forget it
– Accepts things without judgment, then try to change them if really it is needed
– Agrees to show his “weapon” without using it
– Doesn’t need to threaten
– Is a pillar of strength, security, protection… in all situations
– Authorizes, encourages and has fun when the others win or shine
– Needs nothing else to be happy
– Gets dressed “cool”
– Is not obsessed by the grammar, likes the modern words, the tendencies
– Has the confidence, the peace, the composure
– Can laugh at himself
– Does not act according to the others
– Is independent and encourages the independence of others
– Says « hey »
– Clarifies the limits as soon as possible!
– Establishes a leadership and especially values of virility!
– Puts borders in a funny way, even when it is really serious!
– Says when he wants or likes something!
– Pushes her away from time to time when she kisses him then kisses her back with more passion!
The best would be that she says to herself “he is not kind in appearance but when we dig a little we discover his lovely personality!” And then she will feel the excitement of the “bad boy” + the stability of the “nice boy”… Good…
According to a study of Whitchurch, Wilson and Gilbert (2011), a woman is more attracted by a man when she is not sure to what extent he likes her. Often A likes B as much as A thinks that B likes her. The women who think that such man like them a lot are more attracted by him than the women thinking that he likes them just averagely. It confirms the principle of reciprocity (you like me, then I like you in return). But the women who do not know to what extent a man likes them (averagely or a lot) are the ones who are the most attracted… it confirms the principle of the pleasure of the uncertainty. You should thus act “hard to get” but she must know that she can have you.
Below, some sources of inspiration to boost your sexual energy:
The bad boy (represent the danger): It is a dangerous person with whom you live sensations. The bad boys are the gangster, the motorcyclist, the rocker… They behave with hardness and are dressed, generally, dirty. They drink, smoke, are tattooed, and show that they are not submitted to the society. Dad would hang himself if she came back home with one! Why the women like them? The danger! It is an emotional race to be next to a guy who would do anything. Often, these guys beat their girlfriend and spend their time in jail. Then, the girl will say that he made a mistake, but that she loves him. Do not fall in the extreme. Wear a tattoo, buy a motorcycle and behave occasionally as a bad boy if you want but do not become a criminal. They flirt with the prohibition and it is what is exciting …
The adventurer (represent the amusement): It is a nice person with whom you live in the excitement. The adventurers look ceaselessly for the next funny experience. They love surfing, the ski, the race or the parachute jumping. Have a look to Indiana Jones and James Bond… They are not afraid, they do crazy things to find some hot pepper and adrenalin. The aroused attraction is similar to the one of the bad boys, but they don’t have for nasty habit to beat their girlfriends. The girls love them because they drive fast, because they go to interesting places and because they have a common sense of the adventure in all what they do. They always wonder which adventure waits for them even when they just go out for shopping. They have a nice way of exaggerating every story by underlining the adventurous parts. The adventurers are like the bad boys because they like cars and women… especially when it is fast. The girls are attracted because with them, it is the adventure and because they have more than one woman at the same time. They accept such a behavior because they are very funny and because that frees them from the social pressure. They have fun easily and are always happy of what happens to them. They are very optimistic, the girls love it. To conclude, the adventurers are generally the master of their relationships and cannot be tamed.
The seducer (represents the sex) : It is a sensual person who makes the girl feel sexy. The seducers do everything for the women: they can understand them. Sometimes, the seducer seems to have a feminine nature. For the most part of the other guys, the seducers seem strange even homosexuals. Watch the movie Don Juan de Marco with Johnny Depp because it is about a seducer. Don Juan sees the world only under the romantic angles, it is very attractive for a girl. The seducers are often submitted (they constantly satisfy the women by paying attention on their needs). The bad side of a seducer, it is that as soon as he has a sexual relation with a girl: he leaves her. Of course, they can come back for occasional nights, but they are not really interested in long-term relationships.
The artist (represents the emotion): it is the person who moves his feelings and stay enigmatic and complex (musician, poet). Why the girls love tortured and introvert people? The girls like the challenges and helping people. The personality of the artist is complex but he needs help and understanding. Most of the artists see the world very differently from the other guys. They admire a tree and its leaves, they see a color and can feel it. Some people have their perceptions and their senses combined in an unusual way. The girls, thanks to the dominating activity of their right emotional brain, can often understand the expressions of the artists better than the guys. It is the reason why they are very attracted by them. On his side, the artist needs an open person capable of understanding him.
The artists control nothing, because they do not absolutely control themselves. They are, most of the time, shambolic, unconscious of time, etc. If you want to develop this personality, work on the other parts of your life to remain somebody balanced.
Don’t forget that your character must have weaknesses because perfection is a defect.
The conclusion : you maybe need a starting point to become more sexual. Then, you will convey it naturally.
I already wrote an ebook (How to sublimate your body language) which answers all the questions (or almost) about the body language. As a consequence, I am simply going to talk about the fundamental things here.
when you speak, look at the others in the eyes. More the one who speaks looks at the other one in the eyes, more he is perceived as dominating (= alpha). When you listen : less you look in the eyes, more you appear as dominating. Here is thus the idea: establish your dominance by making her look away the first one, then maintain her eye contact when she says something particularly interesting… The rest of the time, concentrate on the landscape, people around, something on the table, her hair, etc. But especially not on the other girls: indeed, a man who is successful does not waste his time watching the ass of all the girls around him; and it is exactly the image which you try to give. There are chances, moreover, that they try to get noticed by wondering what is going on (basic rule: remove your attention, but not too much, and they will try to get it back). If however you choose to watch other women, in this case, assume!
Do not look at your feet, raise the head: you are confident, you know that nobody will cut your throat (nobody will dare to attack you because you are an alpha who inspires the respect). Naturally wink and keep your eyes half-closed, it will deliver the message that you are relaxed. Indeed, having the eyes wide open is a “not confident” attitude (afraid of everything because of the danger which is everywhere at any time). On the contrary, a girl has to feel SERENE with you, and if you want to make it happen, you have to feel like it the first one. The feelings are communicative…
Do not look down before answering a question: if you have to look somewhere else, it is at first in the air then on sides. Do not go either too far with this game of look, do not detail her from top to bottom: it would be a slightly too aggressive game! Furthermore, if you are perceived as too much dominating, you will lose in kindness. We are going to develop this subject a little later but male seduction is a kind of compromise between kindness and dominance! Look somewhere else from time to time when you speak to her or look at her in the eyes when she says something! Your eyes must be relaxed and at the same time confident (very sexual).
The best compromise:
– When she speaks: you look at her 10 % of the time.
– When you speak: you look at her 90 % of the time.
– Before looking away, especially the first time, she must have looked away the first one.
NB : We don’t care about the color of the eyes. The clear eyes tend to be insipid, but are classy. The dark eyes are classy too. The shape and the intensity are more important. Thus, if you have green lagoon or chestnut poo eyes, if they are big or hidden by hair, know that they contain your power of seduction… Thus don’t lose your time with lenses of color or I don’t know what. Some people see the reflection of the soul there, I see the first and easiest way to penetrate into a girl.
When you touch a woman, do not hesitate. If she feels the doubt in you, she will feel the doubt in her. It is still this damned principle of association that comes into play! Furthermore, being confident is very virile and is a pure attitude of alpha male. Take her hand, lead her, put your arm at the bottom of her back. Do not especially wait for her authorization (either explicit or tacit)! It is easier to act as long as she does not say “no” than waiting that she says yes before acting.
Be soft because if you are abrupt, it demonstrates a lack of confidence. When you speak, it is normal to touch the others. It creates some rapport and people will better remember what you said. Only a confident guy can freely touch a woman. Furthermore, it has to look natural (we do not look at her hand while doing it – rather look at her in the eyes). Touch her fingers while she shows you her new ring, etc.
Fighting for a woman is an attitude of male who feels insecurity. However, if a poor guy really looks for you, then it will unfortunately be necessary to go there and to kick his ass. But showing some cold and not answering a stupid and free provocation is another attitude of alpha dominating male.
Trick : do something that would do the boyfriend of the girl and, by association in her mind, you will become her lover during a short moment: you thus will score points. For example, when we are in love, we can do yucky things just like removing her crusts in the corner of her eyes… and the girls can find that cute! Otherwise, feign: tell her to close her eyes and remove an imaginary crumb of the corner of her lower lips. Furthermore, it is an erogenous zone which will produce sex hormones if you stimulate it. It is the technique said “of the lover”!
The scholars discovered that approximately 60 % of the women could be seduced by a man who would have just a beautiful voice, and that approximately 40 % of the women would agree to have a sexual relation with a man who has a sensual voice rather than with a macho man who would have an unpleasant voice but who would be more handsome. The girls would even maybe not be conscious of it, thus it becomes even more interesting to take advantage of their primitive instinct during a conversation. Knowing how to place your voice is one of the factors which will allow you to sublimate your physical appearance.
Using a soft and low voice shows that you are a dominated who tries to please the other one: yet, looking for approval = weakling. Let yourselves go, express your opinions, send to hell the women who do not respect you (they will not be used to see this kind of reaction because most of the guys are deaths of hunger who would satisfy all the whims of the girls just to keep a small chance to sleep with them…) But especially, do not hesitate … The hesitation testifies of a lack of self-confidence. Having a break before an importing point will make you, on the other hand, appear more competent and will leave a better track in the memory of people. The dominant control the conversation, speak with a frank voice and interrupt if it is necessary. Be precise and concise… Especially when you lead the conversation.
Avoid the « euuuh », the incomplete words, do not speak too fast, either monotonously, or too long breaks, and do not finish by “right?” it would reveal once again a search for approval. On the contrary, you have to have convictions and assume your opinions. If she interrupts you and thus what you’re saying becomes incomprehensible, start again your sentence calmly from the beginning. Always do like if you slept with the girl for several months (adopt a deep, soft, sexual and relaxed voice…)
A study aimed at determining which tone of voice allowed to “successfully approach a girl and obtain a second date” (thus “being successful” or not). Roughly, it emerges from it that :
– It is necessary to vary the tone: you can use at the beginning a high and colored tone and from time to time a low and monotonous tone;
– It is also necessary to vary the articulation: speed and rhythm;
– It is also necessary to vary the intensity: use a strong and variable volume and suddenly a decrease (confidence, enthusiasm, heat, tenderness…)
Indeed, people who have not much success use, on the contrary, a middle tone all the time, a low and stable volume, their speed and rhythm of articulation do not vary.
Conclusion: it is necessary to know how to adapt to circumstances (be flexible) because going away from characteristics of the shy and introvert people allows to influence the emotional state of the interlocutors by making them feel comfortable more easily.
In France, Serge Gainsbourg is known for having a sexy voice which pleases the women. And moreover, his provocative words turn them on. Listening to radio presenters can also inspire you… because they underwent a training aimed at helping them to sublimate the way they speak.
Concretely : In the situations when we are put under stress, we feel our voice modifying. The reference voice in seduction is the voice without stress. For example, the morning in the awakening : deeper, more relaxed, slower and more natural. To look in confidence when we speak, it is necessary to avoid: to stutter or to be afraid, to leave in treble, to have a hesitating speech…
In the nature : an animal does not understand the words we say, on the other hand, it understands the tone and sometimes the intonation which it associates with actions. Did you know ? The shout of the lion is paralyzing: the sound influences the reactions of its targets. Yet, isn’t it the purpose, influencing the girls in the sense which arranges you ?
You understood it, the attitude is a whole thing… the tone of the voice contributes to create attraction:
– You are virile (deep voice, testosterone) ;
– You are confident (calm, slow, clear, articulated voice) ;
– You are mysterious (breaks (silences), suspense, prolonging a word);
– You have a sense of humor (not monotonous, rhythmical, melodic voice which plays on the increase and the decrease of the volume, by playing on more or less high sounds) ;
– You are the prize (you speak from time to time with a certain indifference);
– You are sexy (speak on the same tones than the sounds emitted during the sexual act).
In brief, you can work on your voice. On the other hand, you should not too much change your voice at the risk of being depersonalized. For that purpose, it is necessary to find YOUR deep voice of virile man (and not creating a new one). Fortunately, when you will find it, you will know it… simply because you will be in accordance with what you will show to world.
Illustration : Somebody who is shy will probably have an abdominal contraction which will make him show a lot of restraint and a lack of confidence. Somebody who wants to hide something, on the contrary, will overplay like the politics sometimes do it. And the malaise will be tangible. Below, five aspects on which you can work to create more interest:
– The confidence (you are confident, do not seem to lie, do not look for your words);
– The sensualism (your voice is hot, deep – but pay attention to do not do it too much to don’t be ridiculous) ;
– The control (articulate, slow down the flow, have breaks, silences) ;
– The contents (be quick on the draw, be cultivated, why not to making nice plays on words) ;
– Bonus (pay attention to your intonation, your laughter, your rhythm, your accent, etc.)
Conclusion: the tone of your deep voice is attractive because is in accordance with your personality. It has character, depth and is pleasant. Train in front of a mirror and/or you record yourself to really hear : work the intonations which displease you, reproduce those who please you, etc. For it:
– Choose a sentence and say it in several ways
– Then, contract your muscles and repeat it ten times
– Finally, loosen and relax more and more and repeat it more slowly
– Bravo, you normally found your deep voice in the last repetition. Memorize it!
Basic rule: you are an open guy (you do not cross either your arms or your legs).
Up, you can put your thumbs in your belt. The idea, roughly, is that you make yourself vulnerable simply because you are afraid of nothing. Hold your joint hands limp in front of your breast or your face to communicate some confidence. Otherwise, hands on hips, it works too. To better understand the idea: you have to have some volume, class, even when you are in a club and when neither you dance nor drink, nor speak to a buddy, etc. You never look lost nor bored…
Seated, rest your forearm on the table by leaving your arms open (arms outspread, palms face each other and fingers are a little bent towards the sky). The open palms show that we feel at ease and honest. If they returned that means that you hide something … What would mean, that at an unconscious level, the communication would not be made in quite sincerity. Making a girl whom we court wary is one of the worse things to do. Last point, do not put obstacle between you and her (for example a drink held or put in front of your breast).
If you are not in a hurry to go somewhere, walk by being relaxed and by communicating some confidence as if you were the king of the world: you move your arms and your shoulders in an elegant way, your step is more hopping, etc.
Watch out, below the classic errors: read what you have to avoid to don’t break the sexual tension.
– Not having hands nor fingers which tremble;
– Don’t touch your own face when you speak;
– Don’t fiddle with things on the table, neither the table itself, nor knocking with the fingers;
– Don’t cross arms in a general way (you are open);
– Don’t stiff or bent posture (you are relaxed) ;
– Don’t show nervous tricks of the face (to wrinkle the forehead, to touch your nose, to pinch lips) ;
– Not too many smiles (only when the situation lends itself to it);
– Don’t be slumped on something, either stiff but shoulders at their place;
– Don’t turn the head as soon as one calls you because you are not at the disposal of people… remember that you want to seem independent, busy and a little bit detached ;
– Walk more as a model than as a duck (look at a fashion show).
Before going farther, I have to underline something FUNDEMENTAL: having in the head the good attitudes is a good thing but is not enough ! Then, train in front of a mirror or record yourself to realize what you really looks like… You could have surprises and avoid being ridiculous while thinking you have class ! For example, a right way to stand up straight is to learn what we feel when we actually stand up straight. For it: stick, up, back to a wall. Your heels have to touch the wall, your back must be straight against the wall, your head has to touch the wall and your look to be horizontal. Fold knees and keep the same contact against the wall with your back, your shoulders and the back of your skull. Hold the position at least 30 seconds and get up then walk by keeping the break down from your body. Here is how you have to feel when you are very straight ahead. Repeat the exercise every day until that becomes a second nature ! Well, if you really want to improve your game, of course. There is also an exercise to stand up straight by walking on the heels.
Study for example the body language of James Bond who is obviously a major reference …
It is necessary to keep the image of a nice guy, but not “too nice” : it would not be exciting enough for them. It is thus necessary to balance these two parameters that are the dominance and the kindness.
For example : When we speak to you, bending over communicates interest and thus kindness. However, it is necessary to be sure that the girl is interested before showing too much interest for her. Did you get it ? At first, you lean back, then, you can give the impression that it is easy to speak to you. Establish your dominance THEN be nice. This sequence is the key.
In the same vein:
– Direct your body to the target, only when the domination is established;
– Smiling also increases your capital kindness;
– Adopt an open and especially relaxed posture;
– Get dressed like people that you see frequently but just a little better;
– Dressing in clear colors and in relaxed clothes limits a little the dominance and increases the “nice” side, the dark colors and suits have the opposite effect;
– Speak with a pleasant, meaning, relaxed voice and look awakened (interested) ;
– Avoid having unpleasant expressions of the face;
– Do not look too much somewhere else when she speaks;
– Don’t be too much next to her for nothing;
– Avoid the uncomfortable positions (remember that you feel at ease everywhere).
Basic rules : A “seduced” girl will be more eccentric. To achieve this outcome :
– Push her friendly by walking;
– Push her slowly with your buttocks;
– Give her a small collusive blow in her ribs;
– Squeeze her knees with a player face.
Also show that you are capable of protecting her :
– Walk on the side of the road on the pavement;
– Open the doors… and especially, lead her;
– Cross your arms around her;
– Put yourselves between her and a possible threat.
Show that you will be capable of leading her (in particular up to your bed):
– By going somewhere, you allow her to go first (secure place);
– When you go out, you lead her outside;
– You lead her where you want to take her.
– Breathe with the belly rather than with the breast;
– Take more space with your body;
– Do not: look worried, raise shoulders, wrinkle the forehead, move non-stop arms / legs, have the muscles of the face contracted (tension);
– When we ask for your attention, turn around slowly;
– Relax muscles. Slow down your movements like if you walked in the water (slow, fluid). You will so create a charismatic aura.
– Occupy the space with your arms / legs / trunk;
– Be persuaded that you are the boss, that the others are there to follow you;
– Keep the neck and the back aligned;
– You must be convinced that you can ask anything to the others, in a polite way, without needing to order them nor to be unpleasant.
You have to pay attention on details:
– Remove the hands of your pockets;
– Have shoulders behind;
– Do not hide your hands;
– Raise your breast;
– Do not smile too much;
– Widen non-stop the width occupied by your body;
– Establish a steady eye contact;
– Have a posture and an approach of dominating, in confidence, have an upright position;
– Make slower movements;
– Look dead-ahead, or at the sky, but especially at not your feet.
Observe Chuck Bass’s body language, certainly studied and worked by professional coaches. What fascinates me with him it is that thanks to his attitude, he often comes before the fair-haired boy Nate (who is an absolute handsome boy) in the heart of the teenagers… Other: Tom Cruise in Top Gun, Damon Salvatore, etc.
The theory wants that you are in the presence of the friends of the girl only after having fucked her… but well, it can happen (anything can happen.) then, anyway, to be AN alpha in a group, it is necessary:
– To be relaxed (nobody has influence on you);
– Let nobody affect your reality (if one tries to irritate you, do not fall into the trap);
– Don’t give a damn of what the other guys think (you look at them only when you speak to them);
– Respect the rules seen previously for the individual dominance.
You will maybe not be THE boss, but you will be close to the head… and, frankly, it is what matters. I see too often guys becoming intolerable because they had understood nothing: they tried to dominate everybody at all costs (too much egocentric persons). Being an alpha dominant male means, on the contrary, not crushing the others.
And what if there is the President at your table? This story of male alpha should not turn into a battle of ego in your head. Be realistic with this story of dominance! Concentrate on the fact of sending some male energy! On the other hand, being a good communicator has to be part of your seducer’s arsenal. And it is true in any circumstances.
A little precision to finish, prefer attracting away from her group a girl to whom you speak. The social pressure will be less strong for her, and she will more able to go as far as satisfying her lowest instincts !
I quoted quite a lot of movies throughout the book, but I add some to be sure that you will find the answers to the possible questions that you could still have :– The James Bond movies ;
– Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair ;
– Johnny Depp in Don Juan DeMarco ;
– Brad Pitt and George Clooney in Ocean Eleven ;
– Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman ;
– Mickey Rourke in Nine ½ Weeks ;
– Tom Cruise in Top Gun ;
– James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause ;
– Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire ;
– Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black ;
– Jack Nicholson dans The Witches of Eastwick ;
– Ian Somerhalder in The Vampire Diaries (seasons 1,2,3) ;
– Ed Westwick in Gossip Girl (seasons 1 and 2) ;
– Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother ;
– David Duchovny in Californication;
– Simon Baker in The Mentalist ;
– Ashton Kutcher in Spread ;
– Will Smith in Hitch ;
– Roger Dodger.
To be continued…
Extract from : How to sublimate your body language
Indicators of interestWhen you will have a practice, you will instinctively know how to feel when a girl is interested. You know, the “feeling” is nothing else than the fact that our unconscious deciphers the physical language of the person in front of us.
I quickly warn you because this story of signs of interest is a little bit double-edged. Waiting for signs of interest before approaching or kissing can make you lose some girls, especially if you are a beginner who does not enough trust his judgment. Mystery advises to wait to have detected three signs of interest before trying to pick up a girl. In my opinion, the only sign of interest you really need, it is that she stays when you take initiatives. Being sexually aggressive will make her feel excited and create the rest of the attraction. Furthermore, with certain girls who do not even know how to emit a signal or who are conditioned to wait that the man makes all the work, you will have no sign of interest : signs of interest are only a luxury (or rather a safety).
– She compliments you on everything and anything (say “thank you”) ;
– She looks nervous (shivers) ;
– She teases you (she is a player) ;
– It looks like she forces to say that she appreciates the same things than you do (approval) ;
– She enumerates what you could make together in the future (remain a player) ;
– Crossed legs, if the foot which is in the air is pointed towards you, you have her attention ;
– She feeds the conversation when it gets out of breath (or when you stop it voluntarily, haha) ;
– She touches her face (she thinks of something) and looks at you (she thinks of you) ;
– She looks at you in eyes (and supports your look) ;
– She is mirroring you (follows the alpha male): posture, volume and flow of words, breath, laughter… ;
– She fiddles with a phallic object between her fingers (naughty girl) ;
– She moves her head (observe her hair) ;
– She removes her shoes (does she want to get totally naked?);
– She touches her shoulder and her neck in a sensual way ;
– She plays with her hair (or eat it) ;
– A real smile, a regular increase of eyebrows, hard nipples ;
– Face relaxed in your presence (but the nervousness can be a good thing too) ;
– Her pupils get bigger when she looks at you in the eyes ;
– Even if there are other people all around, her attention is focused on you;
– She touches you when she speaks (arm, foot) ;
– She laughs at your jokes / comments ;
– She takes out her tongue and show it by touching her teeth or by licking her lips;
– Her body is in your direction, she straighten up, arm in extension and breasts forward;
– The palms of her hands are turned to you (she feels at ease) ;
– She rubs her wrist (valid if she has a bracelet) ;
– She blushes (sexual excitement?) ;
– She touches the lobe of her ear (valid if she wears earrings) ;
– She asks deep personal questions (not “where do you come from ?” but rather “what are your passions?”) ;
– She speaks enthusiastically;
– Her voice falls of one or two tones;
– She puts back well in place her top (in her bottom) ;
– She tries to impress you in a domain where she feels that you understand her ;
– She is not afraid by the proximity (hand);
– She shows her armpits (she is fine with you) ;
– She acts like a kid (sulk, laughs at everything and nothing) ;
– She makes the false shy person (looks at you then below and away) ;
– She whispers with her friends by looking at you, etc.
Idea : when you approach two girls, put one hand on the shoulder of each girl, and pay attention to their micromovements. You will see which one is the most receptive to your charm, which one wants to leave, etc.
– Soft handshake ;
– Avoid your eye contact, especially when you speak (looks far away) ;
– Do not feed the conversation (closed, very short answers, in a single word) ;
– Her arms are crossed in front of her breast / Her legs are crossed on ankles;
– Scratch her nose often (not comfortable, blood influx) ;
– When you turn to her, she bends behind (goes away from you) ;
– She is not enthusiastic (her tone is neutral) / Her face is neutral when you speak;
– She does not emphasize her assets (in particular her boobs) ;
– Do not change position ;
– Never glances at you, etc.
Extract from : How to sublimate your body language
KinesicsHumans move their bodies when communicating because, as research has shown, it helps “ease the mental effort when communication is difficult.” The study of body movement and expression is known as kinesics.
Physical expressions reveal many things about the person using them. For example, gestures can emphasize a point or relay a message, posture can reveal boredom or great interest, and touch can convey encouragement or caution. Unintentional human gestures such as making an eye rub, a chin rest, a lip touch, a nose itch, a head scratch, an ear scratch, crossing arms, and a finger lock have been found conveying some useful information in specific contexts. For example, in poker games, such gestures are referred to as “tells” and are useful to players for detecting deception clues or behavioural patterns in opponents. When it comes to seduction, interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly. Some people use and understand body language differently. Interpreting their gestures and facial expressions (or lack thereof) in the context of normal body language usually leads to misunderstandings and misinterpretations (especially if body language is given priority over spoken language). It should also be stated that people from different cultures can interpret body language in different ways. The interpretation of body language should not be based on a single gesture. Pease suggests evaluation should be on three distinct rules:
– Read gestures in clusters;
– Look for congruence;
– Read gestures in context.
Arms can indicate defensiveness, openness, or dominance, among others.
One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest. This could indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. However, it can also indicate that the person’s arms are cold, which would be clarified by rubbing the arms or huddling. When the overall situation is amicable, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed, but in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is expressing opposition. This is especially so if the person is leaning away from the speaker. A harsh or blank facial expression often indicates outright hostility.
Crossed arms are usually viewed as a form of subtle protective barrier. Crossed arms arise in situations involving a number of things, such as concern, boredom, or feeling threatened. If a person is cold, then they may also choose to cross their arms, unintentionally sending mixed signals.
Gripping own upper arms can be perceived as a sign of insecurity in some males and females. It is a form of self-hugging, an attempt to reassure oneself in times or situations of unease. Arms held behind body with hands clasped are a signal of authority or confidence. It is seen in authoritative figures such as police men and armed forces officers.
Many arm signals are related to a sense of nervousness and are used to erect a physical and subconscious barrier to the offending stimulus. Typical barrier signals include, but are not limited to:
– A handbag held in front of the body
– Papers held close to the chest
– Adjusting one’s cuff, a watchstrap, tie, etc.
– Arms or hands covering the groin, and so forth.
Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity. On the other hand, individuals with anxiety disorders are often unable to make eye contact without discomfort. Eye contact can also be a secondary and misleading gesture because cultural norms about it vary widely. If a person is looking at you, but is making the arms-across-chest signal, the eye contact could be indicative that something is bothering the person, and that he wants to talk about it. Or if while making direct eye contact, a person is fiddling with something, even while directly looking at you, it could indicate that the attention is elsewhere.
When speaking to someone direct eye contact can be an indication of honesty by that person, although trained liars have practiced this skill and can copy it well. When you are listening to someone and have eye contact that generally means you have interest, attentiveness and some kind of attraction to the person.
Widening eyes indicates appeal, interest and invitation. Usually interest in someone or something you are looking at, and a positive response. The exception is when widening eyes are paired with raised eyebrows, which can be a shock response. Women tend to widen their eyes to try and increase their attractiveness.
Rubbing eyes can be associated with disbelief about something (as in checking your vision) or something that is related to crying or tiredness. Usually if paired with long blinks then it means the person is tired or bored.
When an eye has an upward roll, it usually means it is a sign of frustration or annoyance.
The black center of a person’s eye gets larger to let in light and smaller to let in less light. When it is dark that is one of the reasons pupils are dilated. Another reason pupils dilate is when someone sees something that is appealing, interesting, or attractive.
When blinking is frequent it may be a sign of excitement or pressure but it is not a reliable way to tell if someone is lying. When the blink rate is infrequent it usually means boredom if the eyes are not focused or it can mean concentration if the eyes are focused.
The fact that women sit differently from men has to be taken into account: men tend to have a more open leg position while women do not, so therefore when a woman sits with open legs it has a different meaning than when a man does. Leg signals are supported by the corresponding arm signals that go along with them.
When a person is seated they usually have their leg direction pointed in the direction of their point of interest. When they are uninterested in a conversation or a person their legs will point away from them. When legs are crossed the upper knee dictates what they are interested in or disinterested in.
When legs are uncrossed that generally means they have an open attitude no matter if it is male or female.
Legs together generally mean properness when it is concerning a female, this is a very unusual stance in males. This can be due to the female’s upbringing.
Open legs can be associated with arrogance, sexual posturing or combative feelings. This is not usually seen in women, especially when in skirts. This is considered to be combative because it makes the person look bigger than they really are. Confidence signals are increased when arms are open and wide.
Ankle lock is considered to be a negative signal and may mean defensiveness in both men and women.
Depending on what is going on, legs intertwined can mean insecurity or sexual posing. This is usually a female stance. This would be considered sexual posing because the tight crossed leg would tend to emphasize the muscle and tone of the leg. This should be assessed while also interpreting other body signals.
Legs crossed when standing may mean insecurity or submission or engagement. When legs and arms are crossed it usually means less confident and insecure when just the legs are crossed but arms are open it can mean a committed agreement to stand and engage with the other person.
Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying, the attention invariably wanders, and the eyes will stare away for an extended period.
Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused. A head tilt may also indicate a sore neck, trust or a feeling of safety (part of the neck becomes uncovered, hence vulnerable; It’s virtually impossible to tilt our head in front of someone we don’t trust or are scared of) and unfocused eyes may indicate ocular problems in the listener.
The technique of “reading” people is used frequently. For example, the idea of mirroring body language to put people at ease is commonly used during interview situations. Body language can show feelings to other people, which works in return for other people. People who show their body language to you can reveal their feelings and meanings. Mirroring the body language of someone else indicates that they are understood.
It is important to note that some markers of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal, however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles. The newly included emotions are:
– Amusement
– Contempt
– Contentment
– Embarrassment
– Excitement
– Guilt
– Pride in achievement
– Relief
– Satisfaction
– Sensory pleasure
– Shame
Mirroring is the behaviour in which one person copies another person usually while in social interaction with them. It may include miming gestures, movements, body language, muscle tensions, expressions, tones, eye movements, breathing, tempo, accent, attitude, choice of words or metaphors, and other aspects of communication. It is often observed among couples or close friends.
Direct mirroring occurs when a person is face to face with another. It is used by lovers, people with high familiarity or interest in one another such as opponents in a contest.
Mirroring is common in conversation. The listeners will typically smile or frown along with the speaker. If one person throws in sports metaphors, the other will likely parry along similar ideas. Since people usually accept their mirror image with ease, mirroring the person with whom one is speaking generally makes them feel more relaxed and encourages them to open up.
Postural mirror-image mirroring occurs where one person’s left side “matches” the other person’s right side shows strong rapport and typically affinity (sociology) or empathy and increasing your own synchronicity with someone can also smooth conversation.
Incongruency can be mirrored for rapport. If someone says “Great” but looks or sounds downtrodden, a mirroring reply would be to incongruently say “Good” with a similar down attitude like them.
Crossover mirroring occurs when one person’s movement is matched with another type of action, sound, or different movement.
Mirroring is also a technique used in Neurolinguistic Programming.
Extract from : How to sublimate your body language
I’ve written this list of affirmations so that you become soaked with confidence. Not only read it… but feel it every day until you notice a change in your behaviours.
□ I do not have to try to seek the approval nor the validation of others
□ I do not have to compare myself with other men
□ I do not have to complain
□ I do not have to lose my cool
□ I do not have to show any jealousy nor to be possessive
□ I do not have to show of personal insecurity nor to show any lack of confidence
□ I do not have to express my sexual desire too seriously
□ I do not have to give a woman exactly what she wants
□ I do not have to brag, to put myself down, nor to put the others down
□ I do not have to may, I remain cool and do not take offence for nothing
□ I do not constantly have to self-control (do not become passive-aggressive)
□ I do not too much have to worry about the thoughts, about the feelings or about the statements of a woman
□ I do not have to behave as somebody soft or weak
□ I do not have to seek approval nor act like if I was in lack of affection
□ I do not have to check out every attractive girls
□ I do not have to hide when I’m bored
□ I do not have to be a fighter
□ I do not have to hesitate
□ I do not have to look anxious nor to look worried
□ I don’t have to smile excessively
□ I do not have to become limp, I keep head up
□ I do not have to feel the need to expose my intelligence
□ I do not have to play the games of women
□ I do not have to be available for a woman if I have already planned something else or better
□ I do not too much have to be in a hurry to answer my phone as well as my e-mails
□ I do not have to be vulgar nor to be disgusting
□ I do not have to quarrel nor to offend a woman
□ I do not have to give some explanation nor to justify myself
□ I do not have to return the conversation to me ceaselessly
□ I have to wait for no more than 20 minutes, nor to accept more than 2 flakes
□ I do not have to fully dedicate myself to a woman, I always step back
□ I do not have to tolerate the dishonesty, the immaturity nor the obesity
□ I do not have to apologize when there is no reason
□ I do not have to do things the hard way when there is an easy way, I assume
□ I don’t have to wear dirty clothes
□ I do not have to be dirty, on the contrary, I am clean
□ I do not have to be at the disposal of people immediately
□ I always look confident, my happiness comes only from myself
□ I am discreet on my relations and on my sexual life
□ I go towards the others, I am sociable
□ I give my approval without expecting from it in return
□ I reward good behaviors and do not encourage bad behaviours
□ I know what I want and I am active and dynamic in the search of what I want
□ I am a player, I joke and tease by taking a malignant air
□ I am precise and concise
□ I am optimistic and look on the bright side, I adopt the positive thought
□ I am sincere with myself
□ I am polite, I do not order with an authoritarian look on my face
□ I look casual because I am at ease with myself and in a good mood
□ I watch my body language : I occupy the space, I am opened and vulnerable
□ I dare to interrupt
□ I say “thank you” to answer a compliment
□ I remain unavailable if the obtained profit is lower than what it would be necessary to me to support
□ I am ambitious, in particular in the financial domain
□ I look for the total satisfaction of my partner
□ I am talkative in a group
□ I am funny and spiritual but not clown nor an entertainment
□ I always start with the principle that I’m appreciated
□ I feel free to touch other people
□ With me, nothing is beforehand won (I am challenge)
□ It is me who decide of my life, I do that I want
□ Nothing affects my reality
□ The sex is not really important, it is part of my lifestyle
□ I enough speak loudly, I am not monotonous
□ I control the progress of the exchange
□ I respect myself and I am selective
□ I am remarkable: unique and personal style, I dare suits and look for accessories
□ I can leave at any time, I am independent
□ I know what I can tolerate, I clarify the limits
□ I am relaxed, cool, and it is true in any circumstances
□ My responsibility is the sex, not the daily relation
□ I take initiatives and persist
□ I manage the fear of the rejection, I have nothing to prove to the others
□ I get dressed as if I had just made love to a woman, except for suits
□ I am a leader, it is me who take the control
□ I laugh at what the others think of me and what women say (tests)
□ I forget the errors after having learned the lessons
□ My locus interns > locus extern, the outer elements have no taking on me
□ I am the prize, I have a high respect of me and I believe in my own success
□ I am confident because ” I am like that “, I live in my own reality
□ I want a woman who loves me, who loves life and who takes care of her (and of me)
□ I write without spelling mistake
□ I am not easily influenced : I think by myself and I have my own convictions
□ I feel at ease
□ I feel confident
□ I am a dominant
□ I like talking with girls
□ I am an ideal lover for the women
□ I am optimistic
□ I have an aura of confidence
□ I am elegant
□ I am stylish
□ I am very proud
□ I am satisfied with me
□ I like myself
□ I am quiet (relaxed, in control)
□ I move my body slowly (head and hands because I am a dominant)
□ I am relaxed and opened
□ I am someone very sexual and women notice it
□ I am a sex god
□ I am brilliant, awesome
□ I am very very confident
□ I have a great fulfilling life
□ I feel at ease to talk to people
□ I occupy the space because I am really confident
□ I am quiet when I enter the intimate space of someone
□ I touch people when I talk to them
□ I am naturally a leader
□ My face is relaxed in any circumstances
□ I am a challenge because I expect a lot from girls
□ I am really interesting
□ I am unpredictable
□ I am like a Greek god : very beautiful and very virile
□ When I talk to people, I gain their trust
□ I am strong and powerful like a champion
□ I am attractive and a sex god in the bed thus women are excited by my natural presence
□ I persist until her bed or until being clearly rejected
□ I like rejections because they translate the fact that I tried
□ I love adventure
□ I do not need the approval of others
□ I improve myself every day
□ I am in a very good mood
□ I don’t care about what people think
□ I am a winner
□ I have a lot of assurance
□ I am very naughty
□ I am an opportunity for women
□ I am a dream lover
□ I am focused on positive feelings
□ I am very funny and very interesting
□ I am a very sexual person
□ I am satisfied and relaxed
□ Women want me but that’s now really important, after all
□ I have A LOT of women in my life
□ I am extrovert
□ Everything goes well
□ I have great hair
□ I open attractive girls everywhere
□ I am happy
□ I have an easy life, I am cool, yeahhhh !!!
□ I am relaxed in society
□ I do not have to feel threatened by other men
□ I am not jealous because I am confident
□ I am satisfied with me
□ I am optimistic thus I can do what I want in my life and make it a success
□ I improve myself again and again
□ I have no limit, I will be even more successful than in my craziest dreams
□ I am sure that it will work
□ I am sexy
□ I want to make love to beautiful women
□ I approach girls
□ I control my life
□ I laugh at what people think about me
□ I walk like a model
□ I am incredibly satisfied with me
□ I actively try to make love
□ I look for the total satisfaction of my partner(s)
□ I am not a premature ejaculator
□ I like giving
□ I only remember positive things
□ I make assured and powerful movements
□ I am active
□ I am one of the potential best lover in the planet and I know it
□ I don’t give a shit and I dare to approach women
To be continued…
Extract from : How to sublimate your body language
The bridge between virtual and realityIn most of relationship books, you’ll read all sorts of ridiculous rules like “don’t call for three days” or “don’t send text messages”, etc. As an alpha male, you move through life doing whatever you want and not playing stupid games. So, call or text when you want to.
In practise, it’s often better to call SOONER rather than LATER. Call her that same night or the next day if you want to. That way, you and your conversation with her are still fresh in her mind. If you wait a long time, she will forget you. That’s the only risk.
When you call, you need to sound confident and comfortable with who you are. Remember, you are not imposing on her but instead giving her the honour and privilege of talking with you. Every person is different, there are thus no other numerous rules applicable to everybody.
One method to relax and not thinking too much about the stake in the conversation is to do some other activities while you’re on the phone. Maybe eat something. Or call her while you’re walking your dog. If you’re sitting by yourself in your house doing nothing, you will too much go into self-analyzing.
Not leaving a message will add to your air of mystery. Most dating advice books tell you to hurry get off the phone. In my opinion, they are wrong. Unless you genuinely are in a hurry, don’t feel like you have to follow such rules. You’ve became an alpha, remember ? You’re done following the rules. Continue your relaxed frame as an alpha male and try to turn her on. You’re calling because you want to chat, not because you’re desperate to go on a date and think you have to pretend that you’re busy to get laid. Pff.
When you call a girl, forget your routines and stories. It would not sound natural. But you can talk about her life… and about your life (NOT IN BORING WAY). If she has to go, do not insist… you are not needy. Resume the conversation in the most natural way from the point at which you stopped the last time. Put her back in this good state of mind. Make her live emotions. (Re)build a rapport ! In brief, everything we have developed in the chapter about your voice (do not be monotonous, etc.)
Do not talk about what you talk when you are nervous. Do not ask her what she was doing before you called, nor how was her day at work, do not remind her where she met you (this is so beta and boring). Do not at all cost try to build rapport. Do like if rapport already existed. Relax and have a good interaction. If she is AGAIN interested in you at the phone, bravo, having a date will be very easy for you. She will maybe propose herself.
If you think she will flake you or if she gives you a string of negative answers, don’t worry about it. Just take a few minutes to try to change her mind. You have nothing to lose, but stay alpha. To finish, if you make love to a women on the phone, you are very likely to make her love when you will meet her. Keep it in mind !
Extract from : How to sublimate your body language