Category: Gender relations

What follows is the translation of an article which I cannot regrettably translate in its entirety because it is full of French reference. In brief, a guy wrote about me and the community of the Pick Up Artists. His article made the buzz indeed I had to answer….

You can read the article in French here.

That is worth it because this answer will allow people who still have understood nothing to the community of the seduction to be maybe a little less wrong. Then I hope that it will make you understand :  we are not rapists, manipulators, swindlers, dangerous perverts, pathetic narcissists, a sect which lives in a despicable world out of the reality, etc.

1/ Did you read L’Amour et l’Occident by Denis de Rougemont? I bet you didn’t, otherwise you would know that the conception of the Real Love as we are told about it in the stupid TV showes and everywhere is an European invention which dates from the Middle Ages. All these foolishness do not exist:  Love is as much a feeling as a decision or an illusion.

2/ We would believe that you talk about a sect while you just speak about men disappointed by their loving life because the girls that they like always choose the other guys… You speak about guys who took big slaps in the mouth and who decided to take the control of their lives. We are not talking about monsters there, eh !

YES we use principles of communication to improve our communication (it is personal development to become a man more performing … is it THAT bad, trying to improve ?)

What is the problem with the fact that a guy who does not know how to give a woman an orgasm wants to learn? He just wants to give some love, some pleasure, to do good, right? What pissed you off isn’t rather that you do not arrive to do so and that you do not have the courage to learn… then you prefer criticizing those who train hard and succeed ?

3/ The pickup, it is personal, because we do our best to seduce the girls we like. The pickup it is natural also, there is no miracle technique, we just do our best: if that works so much the better otherwise… too bad. We learn to be a philosopher. At the risk of disappointing you: the biggest of the work, we do it on ourselves… not on the others…

If you look for realism, I suggest you to read my Diary of has French PUA because there is everything: the success, but also the doubts and the numerous fails. These numerous fails do not appear in The Game, eh, it lets you think that there is something to seduce ALL the girls but it is a big fake. In the book, he says that he approached absolutely all the girls whom he crosses, and nevertheless he has only some successes to be told. Weird, right? If such a miracle technique existed then these guys would go out with famous actresses, fabulously rich or other hotties and not simply with cute girls. What stands out from it and what is often badly interpreted by the readers (and it is your case): The Pick Up… It is a lifestyle, it is to about rakes any more, ignoring resentful people, envious persons too. And the community of the seduction : it is not only banging chicks, eh, but it also is to open our eyes on the world. Learning the life in fact!

4/ We do not approach girls to sleep with them: we approach them to test them, to see what they have in the stomach and what are their values. A girl who wants to remain virgin until the marriage, (it is her right). We are not going to manipulate her to make her lose her virginity eh … Among these girls towards whom we make the effort to go, often friendly, there is a lot who receive us maliciously. And yes, we want to give love and we find the spite… If you have already made approaches in the street or in clubs you should know that. Then, there are those who use the guys by letting them hope that they are going to sleep with or even just to kiss them so that they pay things… thus it is necessary to settle a limit to see if the girl is honest with us or not. But well, that it is for beginners: with a little of experiment, we quickly see with whom we have to deal!

5/ Concerning, the 3 seconds rule : it is just an advice because otherwise we risk to look at the girl all night long saying to ourselves “and if I had dared, what would have happened? It was maybe the woman of my life”… And so missing an opportunity to live good moments. The problem is that most of the guys have no balls… they prefer to try nothing rather than to try and take the risk of hearing “no”. Most of people did not really realize how short can be life, how it is necessary to take advantage of being alive, and it is a big problem! They grant too much importance for things which have no importance and complicate things where there is no place… because they are not conscious of what is really fundamental. Being a PUA is also learning to armor eh and to give importance, time and energy only in what is really worth it.

Last precision, you find that disgusting, wanting to make love? Thus have a look on the pyramid of Maslow… We need that to be good in our head and thus somebody spread. Living in the frustration, it is never good! Rare are the ones who rise towards the sublime by this way.

6/ Thanks to all these things of personal development, yes, we improve, we shall never become Brad Pitt but we become someone better. Then rather than spending 30€  per month on adopteunmec and 20€ for a night in a club (+5€ / drinks) to finally do nothing and be frustrated by returning home)… It is profitable to buy a 29€ ebook which makes think, to learn how to live a little, to open his eyes on the reality of things and then to be finally able to make profitable his nights and his time.

7/ No, the PUA are not « love coaches ». However, sometimes swindlers self-proclaim PUA while they do not know much about all this, so they can give lessons for 100€ / hour …

8/ My opinion on the 4 sites which you quoted: they are not held by PUA. They are held by people who make their butter by repeating (without knowing how to really put things in perspective) what they read in the ebooks written by PUA. I’m not saying that they are bad or whatever, I just say that it is commercial. They tell to people what they want to hear so that same people have the impression to progress just a little but not too much and continue all the same to go on their site and to buy all their products.

I agree : some (not all) do not even aim at making the others improve, they just want to make money. And it is really the problem, because that discredits all the community.

These sites keep their public for them, because they know that if the public has all the cards at his disposal, he will know how to make the difference between people who know about what they speak, who master their subject, and those who content with showing you the summit of the iceberg for fear of losing their customers (because their shit is easier to hear than the simple and hard truth). We can make nothing against these people because they lock the thing… And then even there is a big mixture which makes that, when we begin as a PUA, we cannot be taken seriously, people do not even read us… we are considered at once as one more swindler !

9/ I’ve read Jon Alexander, the DeAngelo, the blog of Snipe and there… I really began to have results! If I am pissed off, it is because some people on the community of the seduction complicate voluntarily gender relations… Because complicating is the basis to muddle up people.

10/ A PUA will never tell you that he knows everything about everything. With the human being, there are too many parameters to be managed, it is impossible! And it is for the same reason that it is impossible to seduce ALL the girls … We can just optimize and play on the statistics. A PUA will know how to be modest and admit that he is not much in front of Fate. Being a PUA is having made a long way in his head… it is a lot of life lessons…

The purpose of the Game is to create this internal force which makes you go talking to unknowns. The truth is that the society conditions us not to do it, to not be too happy, to live in our glass prison and to close our mouth. But you don’t talk about all that. If you had read my blog a little before speaking about me, you would know that I advocate a direct, frank, sincere game, no technique absurd nor the other shit. Why then these sites which sell such useless products score so much ? Because people wanna dream… If you tell them that they can never be 100 % sure to seduce a girl but that it is not a problem, well, they do not understand. Really needs to don’t be a sheep to accept that… You just have to read the free extract of my ebook (that I sell 29€… it is not expensive to open the eyes.)

What will make of you a PUA… it is the experiment, the culture and the time. Indeed, within 2 years, needs not to hope to become really good. And well, 2 years, it’s not long… some people need around 10 years to be good.

11/ I don’t see what is wrong with showing your progress to people who are interested by keeping a diary, especially if that can motivate them to take their life in hand… what is the problem?

12/ « to assume » it is the basis of the basis when you want to be a PUA.

13/ Otherwise, I tested a LAIR too. The problem is that it is often created by frustrated guys who are useless and who did not understand the thing but who feel sooooo powerful because they created a forum. I experienced it, I stayed 1 year in the LAIR of Aix : they were all weird fellows (Instead of going out they invited each other mutually in their flats and got drunk while speaking about chick and by watching at porn movies). I found there all the same 2 almost-normal (Arnaud and Hafid) so we went out all three together. Then, when we told them our successes, they got angry and treated us as liars (they had a big problem of ego) and banished us.

14/ That reminds me of this advice “be yourself” which we often read on the forums of seduction. In fact, it is a good advice but it is often badly interpreted. In the ideal, it would be necessary to succeed in being yourself, in the contact of your true desires, without social pressure, without all this shit (but without losing the respect for the other one) to finally assume and to do what you want to do… or at least to try !

15/ The good side of the thing is that you dared with the first girl there while your colleagues the small cocks didn’t approach her.

16/ We don’t care about how to approach. Avoid the headache with this bullshit. The most important it is to go and to try. It’s like soccer : we don’t score if we don’t shoot. If we shoot and if it is not centred, it is not very grave we shall try again at the next occasion! Then even sometimes it is centred but it is diverted by a defender and that scores all the same! 😉 On the other hand, if we are just defending… we cannot win a match! 😉

17/ The purpose of the life is to survive and to reproduce.

18/ For a kick in your fat ass, I recommend you once again to read my Diary of a French PUA (feel reassured it is free). The facts are there and I try hard to make it the most objective possible, even if naturally everybody lives in his reality. But mine is constructive and positive… that’s it!

In France, we are really few to know about what we speak… what compromises everybody. The Americans are much more serious than us. Moreover, the best ebooks which I read… were English.

19/ Approaching improves your contact with people, that helps necessarily to be less shy and thus to pick up a woman with a chance to seduce her.

20/ Some are ridiculous, eh, and it is indeed for that reason that they will never be PUA. Ridiculous seducers are nothing more than caricatures of PUA.

Two possibilities : what works and the swindles, that’s it. As far as the proposed contents are serious and good, well, that will maybe exactly help these people to be a little less manipulables/influenceable.

If you read everything and anything, don’t be surprised, eh. But you can find so much shit about the nutrition or body-building, it is not for that reason that some people do not say the truth.

21/ For once that a guy who understood the Game talks, you fall on him because that does not work every time! Everybody is not for everybody, right ? Being attractive or not it is subjective, needs to have the humility to recognize it. Snipe is at the same time brilliant and pathetic, attractive and disgusting, beautiful and ugly … Like me, like us all: that depends in the eyes of whom. The purpose is to find people we like and who like us. No miracle there, just the courage to move on.

I’m just saying that it is necessary to be realistic, there is no miracle method … You put two feet in the shit, you learn and you move on, you announce things or then if have you not enough internal force, you collapse, you fail and you give up. That’s it. But it takes time and neurones. People who sell dream we can always find them, and not only in this environment. The public will be intelligent enough to announce things or he will be satisfied with being deluded with illusions.

I take the comparison to the extreme but let’s admit that you meet a master of tae kwon do. He shows you and explains how to kick. Well, it is not for that that you are going to do it well. You need time to win in flexibility, to learn to use your breath, to create muscle, etc. And to agree to make all these efforts, it is in the head! Trying to pick up is similar !

22/ Oh yeah, the PUA are predators ! This is it : They catch the willing women and hurt them a lot, like making them have a lot of orgasms. Poor victims!

23/ But the sites which are first on Google are the ones which invested a lot of money. Then, these big sites persuade everybody that… that’s it the world of the seduction while not … And nobody dares to contradict them because rare are the guys who made all the travel and who are capable of putting things in perspective… Then yes, the guys who arrive undergo. They are gullible and blinded … and still a little conditioned! But it is the same thing in politics eh, you believe that people who govern us or those of the various parties are there by chance ? One impose them to us, they are not the best. It is similar for the actors, the stars, the singers, the musicians, etc. Rare are the ones who are not pulled strings! And the food, we talk about it? You know that we are conditioned to eat some shit? That one makes you a daily brainwashing with the TV?

24/ Of course seduction and personal development are linked. Learning to seduce women is two things :
– The statistics: thus having the balls to approach a lot to see with which girls to our taste the current flows.
– The optimization : becoming more attractive, learning to better communicate, etc.
Nothing unrealistic in what I tell you… because it is the truth. There is no other miracle method, that is the way it is and then it is everything … accept it or continues to fight against mills.

25/ And you, your job, you do it for free ? To pick up… you need to eat, to dress, a little bit of money to go out, etc. And the hosting of a site, it is not free, you know. Thus, you find that squalid to sell ebooks which help people? From the moment they are not bullshit, that is widely worth 30€ to learn to make profitable his nights out, eh. Where I join you it is that there are many shitty ebooks, written by people who know nothing and who like plagiarizing approximately good authors just to make money. Actually, there are 2000 sites about seduction in France there, but nevertheless I quoted you only 2/3 which I find credible. That’s why our art is discredited. Web is in lack of guys who speak with frankness, with their balls! I say to myself that on the long term, the public will know how to make the difference.

26/ Yes, the money we earn is declared.

Anyway, coach in seduction’s diploma that does not exist in France. But I know a lot of people who have a Master of psychology for example but who don’t understand anything to psychology, eh. They have a diploma but they are hopeless. Conversely, I went to see an old sir who treated backs for years without diploma (word of mouth) and hoooo Miracle I do not have pain any more. The important it is the result…

27/ For what he knows of the psychology and the human behavior: much more than you and than the common run of people. You know, concerning serious people in this domain: we read a lot, we become enlightened, we experiment enormously also… What we talk about, we do not take it out of our hat, eh…

28/ OK, if you are not too stupid you should suspect that : miracle solution = commercial shit.

29/The image that PUA have of the woman, I am going to tell it you: we love them. We adore them, we do our best to please them, to try to understand them and all this to give them some pleasure. And also to marry them when we shall be sure to have found the good one.

30/ A guy is a PUA when he satisfies his need for affection, for sex, when he a little learnt the life and when he feels good in his head. There is not manipulation in this… when we manage to be free in our head, we don’t care about the opinion of the others (especially of those who understood nothing, lived nothing, etc.). We make our best proposal, card on table, sometimes disconcerting of simplicity and we look for people like us who managed to set themselves free from diktats, from the social pressure, and from all these prisons of glasses which prevent us from really living. It is to open their eyes to people that I fight, eh …

But when you manage to set yourself really free, you do not judge the others, you do not judge any more the girls. Never a girl will be thought as a bitch by a PUA because she has fun… on the contrary ! It is people who have problems who piss the others off. Not those who released themselves from these ridiculous considerations.

31/ All these guys who are pains in the ass with the girls because their ego cannot heard the word “no” should be interested a little more in the world of the seduction.

32/ In fact I rather have the impression to be used. For example, last Friday, I went in the party with a guy whom I did not meet. He had never approached in the street or in clubs and he was in bad adventure with the women then he contacted me on FB. They took him for a fool and everything. Nevertheless the guy is really tall, has a stature, is rather a handsome, gets dressed well and made me the impression of being intelligent. At the beginning of the evening, he stayed behind, watched me doing but did not dare to try. After a while, he started to go there. He kissed 3 girls in the evening, he would never have believed that possible. Nevertheless I made this coaching voluntarily … What was the value ?

Then, this same guy read my book about gender relations, 5 days later he slept with a girl by applying what I had written. Yes, he learnt in this book how to create sexual tension. He learnt how to ask for what he wanted while accepting both answers (positive or negative). He thanked me for that. Then 29€ to change in a good way the life of people, is it expensive or not ? No but needs to know also that my “colleagues” arrange so that we never hear about me (all the links are deleted on the forums for example) or then compromise me. The customers send my ebooks free of charge by e-mail while that took more than 5 years of my life to understand all this, and a few months to write it, and some money and time to create the blog. But it doesn’t matter: people do not respect that, they don’t care. The truth is that by continuing in this way, they risk to discourage honest people like me, and will stay only these swindlers. Then I am flabbergasted when guys like you make a big bag, put everybody inside, and throw that to the sea. If you had read a minimum what I write (and I know that you didn’t) you would understand instead of judging hastily … ALL the guys who read my book changed for the better, they started to have mojo and to have the love life they wanted (some got married, others became PUA). It is, in my opinion, the only method 100 % realistic, simple and practicable  that I found in France.

The comments :

33/ Why frustrated, shy, uncertain guys, etc. could not learn the state of mind of those who are successful with women ? It is necessary to understand that : women love as much, if not more, sex than us the men. Of course, sex can be an objective just like a serious and spread relation.

Without the learning of the seduction, I would have stayed the guy that I was six years ago, that is to say shy, socially transparent (as well as with women and guys), lacking of confidence.

Today I have confidence, I have my own club for two years, I have a brilliant social circle, I seduce women in a natural way, no more need of “techniques” and you want to know the best : none ever felt betrayed, manipulated nor anything because I am frank. In brief, without the pick up and all the personal development I did, I would never have thought one second of having the quality of life which I have today.

I want sex, very well, I play card on table. I want something serious ? Idem. And in a case like in the other one, women are 95 % satisfied 😉

– Denounces fake love coach (without any legitimacy) who are not even capable of demonstrating their practice and taking refuge behind typical deceptive arguments “I am not going to approach, I have a girlfriend ” as soon as it is question of stopping the claptrap.

Your mixtures are very dangerous, a seducer who rapes, that does not exist, we call that a sex offender (that I despise excessively). In the process of seduction : there are always 2 participants!

But for the great majority of the cases, players are just slightly too kind guys, whose balls were cut by the feminism which try to go out of their sexual dissatisfaction, to understand the women and to have the choice instead of being chosen (for those who are chosen). And you know what? The majority do it because they LOVE women more than whoever, I swear!

Because to arrive at the stage of the “seducer”, when we are not naturally, what is the case of the majority of the guys of the community, otherwise they would not be a part of it, it is necessary to take a lot of rakes, like if we liked sadomasochism. The game brings towards a “journey”, forcing us to question us constantly, to interest us in thousands of subjects, to find us passions etc… To have a life in the reality.

– In the first place, we can be interested in the seduction without necessarily becoming a psychology killer first class manipulator.

If I stayed hanging out on these sites, it is also because we find a real home of self-motivation, questioning, and some moral values all the same.

I am married. Married to a Brazilian, that I met in the street, approached at an exit of the subway. Foreigner, who did not speak French, lost in Paris, who was more than 35 years old and single. I created my luck.

We are two when we make love, thus women are not necessarily “victims” of the manipulations of the men. They are sometimes stronger than us in this game moreover! If both protagonists sleep in toilet it is not necessarily because the girl “wants to please him” let’s be honest… If we listened what women say and not what they do, nobody would have children anymore!

My witnesses in the marriage met their current girlfriends in clubs according to these principles.

Because yes, like in all the circles, there are bastards who use people in trouble as a market to make a business, and others more honest who try to help people to go out of their shyness and to approach/have the courage to seduce the women they like, by supplying them communications tools and knowledge of the man/woman relations in this purpose.

Indeed these men understand women and are also self-aware. Now why swamping the seducers? They create often magnificent moments over the moment. Girls just wanna have fun said the singer. Many women look for a moment without looking for a commitment or anything. Just let’s stop making the women pass as victims. Each often finds some benefit there.

Knowing that it is now necessary to pay a fortune to meet a woman on the Internet (well before meetic I met women by caramail or AOL), or in clubs (nothing is free for men), and the opportunities becoming scarce by the social circle (I come from a very military and labor city and thus very male), why don’t try to approach women in the street for example?

It is better to teach somebody how to go fishing than to give him a fish, isn’t it? And it is not impossible to seduce without techniques of manipulation intended to make her do what she does not want to do. Women also influence with the make-up, the heels, the skirts, etc…

A friend of my wife is from RIO DE JANEIRO and she asked me “how can I make so that the men try to pick up me? I have the impression to do not to please them, nevertheless I dress in a hot way… the Brazilians generally are not ashamed of showing their interest !”

I have explained her the truth which is mine even now “France is a so feminist country that French men are afraid, they are afraid that one shout above them or of being rejected, because of the shame, if they show themselves a little sexual : they are considered as perverts…”

Not that the feminism is a bad thing… quite the opposite, but it is the fact of inverting the roles which is not good !

What the boys try to develop with these tools, it is capacities which are very often innate to the majority of women. They are also in search there of personal fulfillment.

The blog of my colleague advocates the frankness, and an extremely direct “game”. Then maybe we can find that less classy, or less justifiable, but anyway it works very well, and a very large number of girls answer positively to this type of approach who clearly invites to sex without commitment. These girls have not the right to exist? Have they not the right set them free for a while from this tyranny of real love that you advocate?

The feminism should not try to create more barriers between both sexes. Us, we try on the contrary to understand the opposite sex and if possible to share some pleasure, and why no beautiful serious relation when the time has come.

I will certainly write a whole book about personal development because more you will make a good first impression, more the women will be receptive to your approaches. In the meantime, here are (classified from more to less important) the elements on which you can work to spectacularly improve your results :

A. Approach everything that moves

Not only because by practising, you will learn a lot of things. But also because one day or another, even during your period of training, it will work. And success is a virtuous circle. Isn’t an expert a person who made all the possible and conceivable mistakes in a given domain ?

More you will practise, less you will feel the approach anxiety. Try to determine which moment of the day and which days of the week suit you to practise.

B. The body language

The true communication is done (more than 80 %) via the language our bodies. You will thus progress quickly by working on this aspect of your personal development.

The human beings are guided by the feelings. This is why, we can try to influence positively the women by keeping a high energy level and by being associate to fun :
– daily, do sport and eat healthy to be in shape ;
– before going out, listen to music which gives you energy ;
– smile ;
– try to do like if you had already slept with the girl when you talk to her. Think « I like you, I know that you like me, and I also know that you will never have enough of me because I fuck like a rock star and we have a lot of fun together ». You will sub-communicate necessarily some confidence when you will approach women with this state of mind.

C. Dare to always push farther the interactions with the receptive women

This girl likes you (she laughs, touches you and tutti quanti). But, if it is the sex of another one that she sucks… fuxelife. Even if you have nothing more to say, stay with the girl, we never know. At least, you will try new things. Know that you can often push things farther than you think.

Try your luck !

D. Visualization of your previous and future successes

Developing your internal strength is a subject which would saturate Wikipedia. Here is thus one single recommendation : remember your previous successes, so you will want to relive good moments and even to do better.

 

E. Find a wingman

A guy who will kick your ass. A guy who will share his experience with you, etc. A guy who will talk to her friends while you isolate her, who will debrief your interactions or congratulate you, who will cheer you up or give you more value in society …

F. Keep a diary

Approaching must be associated with positive feelings : you should be excited at the idea of going out, not frightened. Because we are more often rejected than sucked, we sometimes forget that the Game isn’t a succession of rakes.

Thus keep a diary to look back at your successes, to know why you game. It has to give you the energy then do not hesitate to embellish the thing. Set realistic goals (for example, monthly) to do not be demoralized. Do not hope to fuck at every party but be proud if you have overcome your fears even if you just spoke to one single woman.

Or let’s going out and say to yourself that you will not come back home before having approached at least 10 girls.

G. Learn openers and routines

It is classic but you have to approach your target within 3 seconds of seeing her because more you will wait more you will find excuses to do not approach. Fuck ! Try to always have 2 or 3 openers in reserve… this way you will know what to say in case of breakdown of inspiration. Do not forget that more you will act quickly, more you will be seen as attractive.

Be able to step back on the interaction and focus on your body language, it can be useful to memorize some routines or openers. It will help you a lot, especially at the beginning …

H. Practise the selective ignorance

The community of the seduction proposes too much information, in particular specialized things which will not help you SIGNIFICANTLY, especially at the beginning… Do not flood yourself !

I. The Parkinson’s law

The principle is that when you give 8 hours to a man to achieve a task, he uses these 8 hours. But if you give him only 2, he makes his work in 2 hours.

So : go out, be productive and pragmatic… Keep in mind that you always have less time than you think !

PS = Avoid being dependent on your partner otherwise you risk to end like Ashton Kutcher at the end of Spread.

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations

It’s your job

It’s your job to say the first words, to escalate and to show her your sexual interest.

It is important to be very honest with yourself : when you don’t begin a conversation with a woman whom you would like to meet I want to know why. When you do not try to get closer physically I want to know the cause and when you do not push the sexual interactions at the most I want to hear your excuse.

Three blockings points

There is really no secret to seduce the women. Curiously, it comes alone when we are able to overcome certain fears and to be sincere. The three fears you have to overcome are:

– you do not dare to say the first words to begin a conversation with a woman;
– you do not try to take more initiatives tactilely speaking;
– you are afraid of wasting everything you built with her until now. Then, you are not sincere because if you did everything you did until now it is because you want to come back home with her (/at her place), right ? Either you are just afraid not to be good in the bed.

In any case, your ass needs to be kicked.

Do not care about results, only about fears

Train to overcome these fears… Even those who studied the seduction for years are afraid.

The fear of the sincerity

All your anxiety comes from the fear of being sincere. For example: fear of telling her that you want to meet her. Fear of showing her that you are interested. Fear of admitting that you want to sleep with her.

Three main stumbling blocks

– Some guys need to drink alcohol before being able to do something ;
– Some need the night to be capable of being sexual (like if the darkness protected them);
– Some are incapable to make the first step alone, then they call their buddies…

Do not associate these three elements with the fact of meeting women : you can have a drink, go night-clubbing with your buddies without it is your only option to meet women. Realize that you can also meet women when you have a walk, alone, in the daytime, without alcohol in the blood.

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations

You are sociable :

– you begin numerous conversations with girls AND guys ;
– you mix the sets and introduce people ;
– you get the attention ;
– you are a good communicator ;
– you are very interesting and entertaining ;
– « he teases me… Do you think that he likes me ? » ;
– you invite other people to join you ;
– you are the leader of a group ;
– other women want you ;
– you have to leave SOON…

You are attractive :

– you have a confident body language ;
– you are not affected by her tests ;
– you do not speak too much, you communicate a lot via your look and your facial expressions
– you avoid the too much attitude ;
– you do not brag ;
– it is difficult to get your attention;
– you are very confident, you even play with the sexual tension;
– your favorite expression is « fair enough » ;
– you are in a sexual state and contaminate the girls to whom you talk ;
– the women feel comfortable with you, even if you are mysterious ;
– you do not eye everywhere (women), you are fine where you are.

You are a sexual predator :

– « he kissed me after just one minute and made fun of me because I was disturbed » ;
– « He put me a finger and caressed my clit discreetly but with a big smile » ;
– « When he asked my number, I asked to do what and he put me a spanking by saying THAT’S WHY » ;
– « he said that I have a nice ass but that I  show off too much» ;
– « he told me that it was my fault if he was so excited but that my seducing techniques were not going to work on him» ;
– « he does not take into account my resistances, he even accuses me of taking initiatives » ;
– « he was aggressive when he touched me but now that he left, I miss it » ;
– « he texted me a naughty thing then told me I was a naughty girl » ;
– « he took my hand, put it on his hard sex and told me DID YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE » ;
– « he said that he was for the frankness and thus that he warned me that he was going to seduce me. »

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations

It ends always badly. Watch out, I say it in a positive way, make no mistake about it. I give some explanation.

Most of the guys are afraid of taking too many initiatives because they content themselves with small successes. They want to be able to rethink about the interaction and keep a good taste in the mouth.

The ego stinks

« A handjob would really please me but I am too afraid of being hurt in my ego if I ask you and you refuse. »

You know very well my point of view. Make her say no. Squeeze her like a lemon. My creed « blow me or blow me out but let’s not stay in the inactivity ». The problem is that you do not most of the time really try to be sucked nor offended. It makes you happy to be there, smiling and listening her laughing at your jokes. It makes you feel good. You want to leave with the head up then you do not push the things at the max.

It is cool to hang out with a girl and to make her smile blissfully. Most of the guys content themselves with that. They prefer the soft and platonic company of a woman to a fast physical progress because this latter presents the risk of brutally breaking the interaction.

The same thing can happen when you mutually caress your hands. The caress of hands is so pleasant that you forget to push things in a more sexual way. But the problem is that this feeling of well-being does not last. And it does not last because she will leave you as soon as she will have met a guy with who she will have a more sexual connection. Yet, what’s the point ? Talking to her during 10 hours or penetrating her during 30mn ?

Day game

A guy strikes up a conversation with a cute girl in the street. They walk together up to a small bar. They exchange their names and flirt a little. That goes well. He would like to suggest her having a coffee but he freaks out then does nothing. Later during the day he wonders what she would have answered if he had invited her. Shit. She was really hot. However, in spite of his regrets, he is satisfied all the same, he gets a certain shape of satisfaction. The memory of this interaction will remain pleasant : He approached successfully in the street and gave a smile to an attractive girl … Good.

The truth is that he did not try to have more because he was afraid that the interaction ends badly. He did not want that his last memory is a pitiful rejection.

« Let’s drink a coffee.
– Sorry I gotta go somewhere with someone in order to do something. Bye. »

Now, he sees things differently. He was clearly rejected. The interaction was a failure since the beginning but he had not noticed it (isn’t it better to know it since the beginning ? To postpone is a bullshit especially if you maintain the secret hope to see again her in a few years by chance to take FINALLY your luck …) Do you recognize yourself in these extremes :
– Taking a lot of numbers but never calling back ? ;
– Flirting with women all the time but never proposing them something concrete because you are afraid that they say no ? ;
– Making girls laugh but never trying a physical escalation because you are too much afraid of being rejected ?

How does it end ?

The passive interactions end often as follows : she ignores your SMS or pass you the buck (bucks are like endives: that should not exist because it has no interest but it exists then needs to deal with). Or then you had a strong connection but because you have never pushed things sexually, it is the shit and you got stuck in the mud in a very strange relation. Sometimes, you will feel the desire to ignore her or to tell her that you do not want to fuck her. It is called FRUSTRATION.

No matter who ends the relation, it will always finish badly. You will break up, sooner or later. Unless if SHE is the woman of your life.

Good for the ego

The guys want that it ends well to have a short history to tell to their friends « How I took the number of a cutie in the street or simply flirted with her but it is still really good in my opinion ». It is just a question of ego. They do not escalate tactilely because they are not sure that it will work. But realize that, in any case, it will always finish badly. Every time (that you fucked her before or not). All the groups you will approach, all the numbers you will take, all the girls you will fuck, all your sexfriends, your girlfriends, etc. it will always end in a bad way (unless if you find THE girl (and still …)). That’s it, the thing which pisses off. Be prepared there! Life hurts …

But even if it always finishes badly, you will always guard a recording of the funny part in your mental hard disk. You will fill up with positive experience. And nobody will never be able to take it from you. Even if tomorrow there is a nuclear war, you will always have the memory of this naked girl kissing your abs. The pickup, it is little bit like an investment… A journey which we would take and from which we would come back at home, in the square one, but the testicles extremely empty and the head filled with magnificent hilly landscapes.

But, first of all, it is necessary to succeed in approaching… and, good news, it is the object of the next part of the book !

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations

The affection

I have a question : « If a woman does not love herself, how can she love you one day? »

We need affection, but we cannot let whoever give it to us. Some « emotional abysses» exist. Most of the problems met by men during their relations could be resolved if they did not try to obtain affection from women who are not for them. These girls, emotionally ravaged or unstable by nature, cannot give you the type of affection you need.

PS = The reason why they are unstable, we don’t give a damn. You are not her shrink.
PS 2 = Don’t be this kind of man who comes to love a girl just because she does not like him. It is unhealthy.

Constructive challenge

Do not confuse « girl who do not love herself » with « girl who do not love you ». The first one would be a counterproductive challenge. You look for a woman who takes care of her, who has a spread life, many purposes, ambition, projects, tons of friends and an excellent family (not exhaustive list…)

This kind of women can be difficult to keep, but at least if one day she loves you, she will really love you. They thus represent a « constructive » challenge. She is worth it.

Monsters in the male

Creating dramas reveals a lack of respect for you and is also the sign that the girl in question has not much self-esteem. But, it is sad to say that but some guys like supporting fits of jealousy, scandals and madwomen …

Fuck ! Do not waste your time giving advice to these poor guys. They encourage the bullshit of these girls. I am sure that they do not even want to be helped, in fact. They feel good in their poverty. They don’t want to be really happy… FUCK THEM !

Having sex, it’s easy

On the other hand, a quality woman who loves you, it is hard to find. A woman who would not put you under pressure, and whose  internal clock would neither be late nor anything, etc.

The women adventuresses, and who do not generally put you under stress, are awesome. Unfortunately, certain guys interpret their lack of investment in the relation as a challenge and try too much to possess her then put her under a big pressure… and eventually lose her.

A like Affection

I had a very strong sexual connection with dozens of women, like that, just for fun. But I was honest enough to admit that the type of affection I looked for : they could not give it to me.

You can obtain affection from an « emotional abyss », but you will never have THE type of affection you look for, the one you really need. Yet, even if the sexual complicity is powerful, the affection is what welds the couples.

Something else: you cannot change a girl. The boring women will remain boring. It is rare that they agree to question themselves for a guy… and then even if she wanted that would need a lot of efforts to develop her personality in the right direction. She’s a total pain in the ass. What you see the bad days is thus probably what you will daily enjoy, eventually.

He doesn’t give a damn of you

Some women are attracted by the guys who treat them badly, because they know that they are shit. They love people who do not like them (because they do not like themselves).

The good boy who appreciates them sincerely is necessarily a loser in their eyes whereas the guy who treats them like shit is attractive. INDEED, HE UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING! Pff. The feminine logic, it is really something… !

PS 3 = I even met poor girls who downright admitted being attracted by the mediocrity (diverse reasons can lead to that, it depends on the story of each woman but in any case, it makes us think…)

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations

Every woman will blackmail you some day

A woman has two secret weapons to charm men and urge them to make a commitment. Her purity and a subtle threat making you understand that if you do not comply with her expectations, you will be replaced by somebody who will. Thus, even if she does not succeed in holding you with her « purity », she will hold you with blackmail.

The purity

The marriage is an arrangement: the men obtain the sexual exclusivity, the women the commitment of the spouse.

The men just try to feel loved and say to themselves that « if she only sleeps with me it is because she loves me. SHE IS MINE. » The purity of a woman must thus be protected at all costs. And the best way of guaranteeing this purity, is getting married (even if you will always want to sleep with other women) or being in a serious relationship (knowing that it is more ridiculous to do so when you are 16 or when you know she is not the love of your life).

Men eventually exchange their freedom for the purity of the women. Why this need for feeling loved ? Why is it so important for them?

Because most of the guys cannot accept the feminine affection coming from a woman who sleeps with another one. That feels reluctant at them. It is doubtless registered in our genetic code, and shows itself through the thorny paradox of the « puritanical whore ».

This feeling becomes intensified when you are profoundly in love or during the honeymoon. Themen in this state of blindness will agree to do anything, even getting married to prevent her from sucking the cock of another one. Of course, they won’t admit it in these terms.

The guys get married only because they want something : and it is not sex, it is affection coming from a pure source.

Even rock stars and celebrities eventually get married (they can nevertheless have the women whom they want but cannot enjoy an affection coming from a pure source with the groupies). The marriage thus guarantees to the man something more precious that the sex : it is affection coming from a faithful, stable and pure source… a real drug. The men thus do not make a commitment for the sex but for the affection.

Her biological clock

The guys also get married because they realize that if they do not respect the biological clock of the woman, they can be easily replaced by another one. The women do not threaten you explicitly, but what will happen if you do not follow their clock is obvious.

Sorry, but the women do not really love us. They just like being with guys who want the same thing than them : house and children.

They can call it love if that pleases them but the word « love » can mean many different things for a woman. This revelation is terrible.

That she gets married with you do not mean that you are the one she loves the most. The women do not get married to the guy whom they prefer. They marry the best of the league of those who are willing to comply with her deadlines. The guy who she loves the most and on whom she sometimes fantasizes even at night in the marriage bed, is doubtless a sexy adventurer who refuses to make a commitment.

The alternative to the marriage

If you want to be happy, instead of drawing your affection from a single woman, you need to have several women in your life. It is easy to fuck a lot but finding stable and affectionate women giving you affection, it is really difficult. But you need them.

The variety of the affection

Roughly speaking, we have two needs : sex and affection. Our sexual needs require a variety in the partners, whereas a single source of affection can be enough for us. We thus understand why a guy is going to get married and to deceive his wife with girls to whom he grants no importance.

First of all, these guys have to admit that they need feminine affection in their life. You can increase your emotional income by diversifying the women who give you some affection. A woman cannot give you ALL the affection you need. Then, take the second girlfriend or make numerous friends, keep your niece, accommodate your sister, the sister of a friend, etc. The affection and the feminine energy are not age-related. From girls to the grandmothers, every woman possesses this special energy which makes a man feels good.

The problem affection/purity

Then, you are going to come up against this problem. Because by not making a commitment with A SINGLE woman, you will have some affection coming from women who sleep with other men.

Sorry guys, but it is the truth about this lifestyle. Are you still in ? It is hard but you will have to make with all the problems connected to the paradox of the « puritanical whore ». Especially if you refuse the marriage and see frequently several women …

You will maybe never have a source of pure affection but at least you will always have your freedom.

A life spent meeting women

Thirdly, you’re going to ceaselessly have to meet new quality women. No madwomen in lack of affection (if you are linked with an unstable girl she will poison your existence).

Nevertheless, none of these women will stay with you forever because they will go ahead until they find a man ready to make a commitment. You will like them all the same, these girls, then it will hurt you. Be prepared there.

These quality girls must be replaced years after years. Your work will never be finished.

The lifestyle of love

Fourthly and more important : you have to enjoy a lifestyle turned to love.

It means simply that you have to diversify sources giving you this feeling of being loved. It is what women do, even apart from their relations. Look for sources of love except the women.

Build many social relationships, which is easier today than before. Spend time with your family, do voluntary work, adopt a cat, make a child, be a good friend, practice your hobbies, your passions, etc.

Build full of small social relationships rather than a single strong relation for your entire life. Thanks to them, even if you do not get married, you will never be really alone.

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations (29€)

Halfway

I have a friend who does not approach women. He is handsome and cool but hopes that the will girls come to him as mosquitoes attracted by the light. So, if they approach him, they will have made all the work and will desperately be attracted by him because will have invested a max. It bogs down him in long relations where he is the prize.

The only problem is that he is too passive. He can stay for a long time without meeting anybody even by going out twice a week. He can spend months before he finds a new friend.

Other guys are the opposite. They approach all which moves no matter how by hoping a positive answer. Even if they have to undergo violent rejections and speak during hours to women without interest, they stay. This attitude fucks your confidence on the long term and can re-spin you the phobia of beginning conversations.

The compromise it is to select quickly women but to only invest time for those who are enthusiastic in the idea that you contact them. Those who smile, laugh and feed the conversation. If you do not obtain a positive reaction at once, leave. It is not an excuse to do anything, approach in the best possible way, put the odds in your favor but invest time only for those who understand the luck they have that you approach them.

Simply leaving

A way of avoiding the scandals, of protecting your confidence and of maximizing your results by socializing, is to limit the time lost with madwomen, idiots and miserable. Do not dedicate them one second more than they deserve. You can do it only if you adduce to leave the conversation on a low note.

It means that you do not look for the perfect exit. You can simply leave. Even if that can look strange. Just like you came, you leave.

You are in control

I think that most of the guys do not approach enough women because they think that when the conversation is started, they have to stay and make it work with the girl. They feel booby-trapped.

It is obvious that if we see things like that and if we undergo the pick up more than we live it, approaching can become a real ordeal.

Approach two women

At the beginning, they are very polite then face each other and speak together, ignoring you totally. They are clearly not interested but you stay there hoping to be included in the conversation to be able to say « it was nice meeting you » to leave on a high note. But why waiting like an idiot ? Smile and leave, on a low note or not, we don’t give a damn. In the worst case, you can always come back later, when a model will be at your arm.

You begin a conversation with a sexy woman on your right. She is cute but sarcastic and not at all playful. She makes fun of your pink shirt. Then, she incites you to hate by contradicting you on a whole lot of stupid subjects. You clearly do not like her personality so why staying with her ? Turn heels and ignore her, she will be really surprised. These girls were not enough put back in place by guys. Or, were too much and take revenge. In any case, they have a problem to act this way… We can even say that they overcompensate! Their nasty attitude sends back to their own problems.

The hand in the bag

You see a woman whom you want to approach… but you hesitate. Two seconds later, you realize that she is with a guy, maybe her boyfriend. You think « thanks God, fortunately I waited, that would have been strange being in front of her boyfriend ». It is a bad attitude.

First of all, if you begin a conversation with a woman and if a man joins you, you do not have to feel sick. It is natural for a man to approach women. The guys make generally a weird head… like if they were caught red-handed (but they did not commit crime). In fact, stay calm and continue. That could seem strange to the little couple, but not to you.

If the guy is aggressive, it is because he has no self-control, nor enough confidence and perceives you as a threat. If somebody has to be under pressure, you prefer whether it is you or the other people ?

When you go out, and you act in a sociable way, you do not need to try to save face. You do not try to have the last word. You don’t give a damn leaving on a positive note.

And moreover if you are not afraid of the oddity, you do not even need to leave, let people grow tired and leave then take their place.

If the girl to whom you speak is a silly bitch, or if the interaction is not enough productive, leave without further ado. Show your personality, shit!

Extract from : The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations