Keyboard jockeys in the PUA language, are those guys who read tons of things about seduction, who publish a lot on forums but desperately lack of experience on the field. These guys have trouble understanding some of the problems that we sometimes encounter when moving from theory to practice.
For example, the problem we will discuss today: the paralysis of a game. After an opener, a few questions (or routines for those who like that), you have got a date. But during it, it’s panic. You do not know what to say or do. Time passes, it’s too late, you look stupid and you lose the girl. Theoretically, it should not happen but in practice this is sometimes the case.
You are sometimes paralyzed, but why?
*It can be a matter of inner game: you are afraid of not knowing what to say or do, you get stressed. From there, it is the decline, a fucking vicious circle, and you crashing.
*It can be a matter of outer game: you have no idea what is a game plan, you do not know how should flow phases between the opener and sex, maybe have not even read a method one day. It takes a lot of practice to succeed in the game, I agree, but you must know the theory too. If you do not know where you are in your game, you’ll hardly know what to do. And if you do not know what to say, the girl will rarely know it for you. Even if she likes you, there’s very little chance that it is the kind of girl who does the work for you. Instead, she’ll maybe just stop being interested in you. Once you have assimilated a good outer game you can afford to go faster because your intuition (shortcut based on skill) will be developed. Meanwhile, do not just use the haphazard techniques you read on forums.
*It can be a matter of emotional inflection: it does not work naturally, you are not able to connect on an emotional level with the girl. Normally, with friends or chicks you have dated, you ended “in the emotional” in one way or another. In short, if you stay at the facts, you’ll quickly be mute : Gwendoline is her name, she is 29 years old, she’s real estate agent, she lives in La Ciotat… OK, so what? This is not what is really important when it comes to seduction.
*It can be a game control question: if ever you face an unexpected objection, a cockblock coming out of nowhere, a chick-test very surprising and unsettling, etc. It is very hard to keep your cool when you lose control of your meta-frame or frame (the meta-frame it’s your personality, the frame it’s your interaction). It can actually lead to paralysis.
How to act against this paralysis of the game?
*Concerning the inner game, you have to be fit. To get back into good dynamic: either make lots of approaches in crash & burn mode or butterfly from group to group in a party or use anchors or be revalidated by your wings, or be hypnotized (I’m considering everything). Generally, the more you work on your strength of will, the less your strength of character will be vulnerable.
If you are in a bad dynamic in your life, you have to solve the problem. Sometimes having succeeded your studies or lifting the driving license is enough to give you a fucking good feeling. But conversely, missing something or feeling bad about your work or your private life may have a negative impact on your game. In fact, you release poorer wave if discomfort, decreasing your success. We can pick-up even in less good phases but it is more laborious. This is easier said than done, I know, but the idea is to engage in a virtuous circle.
If you suffer from the fear and self-fulfilling prophecy of losing your means, you can decide to work your conversational skills in bars or on the street for a few months. Otherwise, make some personal development, if you are not good for approaching people. Read the theory and everything before going to practice on the field in small doses, during enough time to take confidence. There are many interesting books on communication, which will help you definitely (eg VIP Coaching by Constant Winnerman).
If you do not feel like it’s for you when you are hitting on a pretty girl, just remember that you deserve your place with your good game. There’s also the chaos factor that plays in the fact that a pick-up works or not. That ultimately leaves very little place for you as an individual when you approach a girl. So realize that feeling of not being at your place with a sex bomb around has nothing to do with the reality of a pickup.
Being a sucker influence your game so you would lose points. Arrange so to add value to your wingmen and targets. And also of course, fulfill the prerequisite for socializing: washing, brushing teeth, dressing in a correct way that shows a minimum that you are in the game… etc.
I surely forget stuff but the idea is that if there’s a problem, find a solution and then apply. Do not make the ostrich! Accept the challenge and accept to work on it…
*Concerning the outer game, first take notes when you read my books or watch my seminar in order to have easy access to ideas for picking-up. Then make your own game plan, and act accordingly (read my translation of Game Acceleration to know what a game plan is)! No more passive readings, you invest now! It’s not just because you buy a book that all the knowledge of the author is transferred immediately into your brain. You must invest more than that, if not, I would clearly sell it €2,000 and not €20.
In fact, having the equipment in stock, it can compensate substantive gaps. It’s always the famous “fake it up until you fuck it make it.” When you have 10 ideas for each situation, the conversation paralysis must be done on purpose. By working upstream like that, your shortcomings will therefore not be visible and you will become confident. Your attractiveness will become real and authentic after a while! But we all must agree to start somewhere…
By reading books or watching videos (but quality stuff no commercial crap), you will increase your level of confidence that will take your inner game even farer away from further paralysis. But yeah, you must invest and invest yourself a minimum … we have something for nothing in life! We’ve all been there… If it were easy, we’d all be PUAs, we would not be only a few dozen in France who have that title.
I wrote an ebook almost one year ago with only quality ready-to-use lines. Well, I do not ask you to be a parrot, but at least read it to have something to use when you’re not inspired. Thus, you will not be paralyzed. Of course, you must be willing to try the stuff you read too. This kind of stuff is not made to remain only in the books : “You have a boyfriend, well that’s cool, he will press oranges and will serve us the juice in the morning?”.
Of course, you need stuff that are congruent with yourself. But the real you (the one who has balls), not the inhibited version you may now present to women. Most of my stuff is homemade, but before that, I went through a phase in which I used the material of others. And it does not matter, there’s no shame in that. Because if a girl is laughing for ten minutes, if you fail at your last sentence, we probably won’t identify it. And even if she sees it, the first impression will surely be good enough to make her don’t care and be indulgent. Then again, you will understand what kind of stuff works and what kind of stuff is ridiculous. For that, yes, you must test on the field what you read…
*Concerning emotional inflection, it is a very difficult problem. One senses that something is wrong, but not really knows how to make up for it.
We, men, need few things to be OK to have sex. For girls, it’s a little similar, but they are not looking for the same things as us.
Emotions: this is what will make women want. It’s like the fact that they love shoes. We cannot do anything about that, so either you accept and you adapt or you just sleep with few girls in your life (and not terrible ones) or you become a monk.
Finally, now that I understood the thing, I think it is not that difficult to make them feel emotions. It’s just a hand to take. Have fun: tease her, tickle her, intrigue her, push and pull, try to create complicity with her by commenting humorously people around (like if it was you against the rest of the world).
Otherwise, talk about things that make you vibrate like your sport, travels, etc. Do a bit of story-telling about that. Try to train yourself to move from factual to emotional.
Easiest: let her talk about what she likes and what she is interested in, let her qualify. Make small games or magic tricks. Anything that can make her live positive emotions is worth taking. If you have trouble (or fear of) entering the emotional domain, first try to get her in.
Play on the alternation of different emotions, use transgenerational conversation topics like sex scandals, games. Finally, of course, create some rapport : you know, it’s that thing that makes you get along with someone (mirroring, commonalities, etc.)
The girl has to go in her mind from “this boy is vaguely attractive” to “I absolutely want to fuck him.”
Again, sorry but it will take work. Just like your outer game. Read my translation of Ross Jeffries for quality leads.
Ask her if she is happy to see you. Yes, it’s against-intuitive but talk to her about these topics that make you end up fucking together. Think from now more like an alpha PUA than a lambda AFC.
*Concerning the loss of control of the pick-up and of the frame it’s also difficult to manage. The unusual objection, the a bit too bitchy response, the AMOG, the girl very direct who wants to fuck you thought you were just going to take her number and see her again later, etc. Many things can cause us to lose control of a pick-up: what I say is right for an AFC like for a PUA, by the way.
It is of course obvious to we need to put our truck in the track. For this, we must ensure our meta frame, regardless of our school. The main ones :
– She must earn the reward;
– I must demonstrate good value for survival and reproduction;
– Etc.
A frame violently imposed can blow your meta-frame. So make the point with yourself. What is your meta-frame? React according to now. Use default answer, zap the obstacle, DHV, use your stock of lines or techniques, if you have demonstrated enough value you can give her indicators of disinterest to drive her crazy.
You can also consider the reactions of a character that suits you such as the PUA, the little devil on the shoulder, the mysterious guy, the challenger, etc. A lot of usable characters ideas for inspiration are available in an ebook that I give for free when registering for my newsletter.
Do not doubt your meta-frame. When telescoping, only the highest frame survives. You should bring yours with you everywhere. Enjoy some opposition between your respective frames. Instead, if you doubt, chances are you will be eaten (and not your cock).
With a minimum of replicas and techniques in stock, you can go beyond that stage of the destabilization phase (which can be a conscious or unconscious test). You can do it, you can seduce her… if you do not lose your means.
What I recommend is to combine the signals in our head we have a problem of this type with a positive mental dynamics leading to successful reactions. Program yourself like that! Rather the desire to play and the provocation than the allowance and acceptance of failure. Go back quickly in a positive dynamic and anchor this new habit so that the right answers come to you naturally and so you can erase bad habits.
The paralysis of a game, I do not think it’s on the field that we can work on it in depth. It is at home that one is getting ready the more effectively.
As you prepare properly, you will have significantly better results and more fun. It’s hard to know where to start, that’s why I made a plan. Other thing, try to find with what you are ready or not and how get more ready. But in any case, do not do things by halves. It not good, seriously… If you want to be a PUA, go all out and do not skimp on ways !!! It’s called just the will… I’m chewing your work with the best will in the world, but some do not understand that I can’t approach and fuck for them (I’d love to but I can’t do everything for them)…