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When and how to kiss a girl ?

how to kiss

I – When should you kiss a girl ?

Image : Match point

A major problem when we want to kiss a girl, but we don’t dare, is that we let our inner monologue govern us. Do not cut off from your feelings because of doubts and other questions. Our feeling should be our guide.

Our emotions are indicators of what is happening inside of us BUT ALSO are the keys to understand the person in front of us. We must let ourselves go a minimum to feel a little desire (which is contagious). And to do not get eaten by the pressure that we often put on ourselves unnecessarily.

The challenge should not take precedence over the game … The light and playful aspect of seduction should not disappear. Never a romantic date should be as dull and tight-ass as a job interview (and a job interview is not a romantic date so there’s a different behavior to be adopted).

It is better to go there with a clear idea of what you expect from the interaction : a good time with one or more pretty chicks, and don’t forget to create conditions conducive to flirt intimacy. Everything else will flow from that.

FUNDAMENTAL POINT – Once isolated with a girl: did she made you want to kiss her? It matters, that, too. You’re not so desperate that kissing any girl is a goal in itself, right? Kissing, it’s nothing seriously. If you are still counting the number of chicks you have kissed, then you are far awayyyyyyyyyyyy in your game. (Desecrate the kissclose please). Seriously, it’s good to go on a date with the idea, the objective to make out with her, but if in the meantime she shows she doesn’t deserve you it’s better to abandon the mission (if you’re sure that you’re not inventing false excuses to duck). Just as one begins his day with what pisses him off the most, you end your date with what requires the greatest effort.

It is important to communicate with your target on an empathic mode too. Do not only communicate on the explicit mode (meaning of words) but also a lot on the implicit mode (gestures, cum facial expressions, posture, tone of voice). Why is it important too? Because you will unconsciously or consciously both send to each other nonverbal signs of invitation to carnal pleasure. I refer in particular to prolonged glances, delicious silences, touches, smiles … so focus your attention on those little things that tell so much…

Wonder for example :
– Are you both in a bubble off of the world? => YES? KISSCLOSE.
– Is the tone of her voice soft? Is it becoming even softer? => YES? KISSCLOSE.
– How does she react to innuendo? Compliments? => OK? KISSCLOSE.

Instead, does she try to avoid proximity and why? Does she seems distracted or elsewhere? => Warning! (but it costs nothing to try anyway, but perhaps it is better calibrate and wait until later). Do not confuse speed with haste.

If you miss scoring chances, do not cut your veins. We all miss some. We all had a chance to initiate a first kiss but yet we did not. With or without having invented false excuses, either. However, let’s not kill ourselves and do not spend our time regretting the past. Let’s rather and seize the next opportune moment. Unfortunately, we remember more the negative than the positive, but if she gives a sign of disinterest interest for 10 signs it’s good nonetheless. It’s worth a try!

Do your eyes fall on the contour of her lips? Do you perceive in her a palpable disorder. A heat wave travels you. Damn: what is stopping you from taking a step toward her, moving a hand behind her neck and approaching your own lips? You are not even really listening to her now. The seconds pass, as long centuries.

If you did not kiss, you can have fun and recreate that magical moment. Or at least, the same conditions. Like “do you remember, earlier? We talked about […] and I felt […] I stopped listening to you, I do not know if you felt the same. I couldn’t take my eyes off of your bright eyes, your pretty lips and I wanted to”………………………… kissclose. Or, “earlier you maybe felt I really wanted to do that” ………………………………. kissclose.

Speak slowly and maintain her eye contact while doing that. Normally, if she wanted you 5 minutes before, she still wants. I say NORMALLY because they are people who are blocked by those guys “who did not have the balls to try”. But hey, in Top Gun, Tom Cruise purposely gets close of his target without trying to kiss her just to bring up sexual tension, and it works well, but he did it with a a playful and confident face. So never let her think you’re not in control nor confident.

BUT IF she refuses my kiss? The fear of embarrassment that would follow a refusal petrifies most men. It is the phobia to end up helpless without knowing where to hide or what to do nor say to regain capacity and credibility that often prevents men from giving it a try. The guys start by thinking about consequences, fuck who saw us? And to who will she tell it, this whore? They will laugh at me (or other paranoid delusions).

Detach yourself from it, guys. It happens to everyone… at least to those who have the balls to take action. BE PROUD BECAUSE YOU’VE TRIED YOUR LUCK (AND HERS)! It’s really more exhilarating than having tried nothing and coming back home with regrets in the pockets!

Why not just smiling at rejection, after all? Why not asking her if it had already happened to her and why? Most girls would like to kiss the first one but are scared to get rejected. So: they say that it is the role of the man to do so. So why not challenging her, “Listen if you want later, it will be your turn to try to kiss me, and maybe you’ll see how you feel when you try to kiss someone who likes it… you feel like high ! It gives you a crazy energy! ”

(Take of course the ideas but change the words, I typed it as it came.)

The reaction to the rejection is paramount. Any PUA will tell you that. I speak well about it in The inconvenient truth about gender relations : for some women, rejecting you once is a test, and they will accept later if you do not get cold feet nor insult her, don’t call her “bitch”.

I think flirting is an act of cooperation. I do not like the girls who play the “man” and like confrontation. I prefer it to be played by the two of us and that we go together until the orgasm, each one making an effort. I understand the shit-tests and tolerate them if they are not excessive but after it pisses me off and I have the impression that the girl is trying to find excuses to avoid spending a good time. I think the bitches who are waiting for me to do all the work or play it like a princess while they are not Kate Middleton do not deserve me. I love the girls who have will and strength of character.

In a nutshell: let’s not forget to be present in the moment in order to pay attention to the little signs that reveal an invitation. Then, only remains to pick the ripe fruit (I speak of course of her apricot).

Let’s trust ourselves. Let’s abandon ourselves to our feelings rather than construct disaster-scenarios. I like kissing chicks anytime too, even when they expect it the least. I find it funny (game rather than issue). And there are people who cannot show their interest or are too shy/tight-ass to do so. I would say: the best time to kiss a girl is when you feel like it.

A good kiss with sexual tension can even make you hard. Especially if you fiddle her in the same time. If you’re hard, it’s okay, I think she will be flattered!

Go now, and do not forget to tease her: that tough love!

II – How to be a good kisser ?

Image : Spider man

A lot of my readers want to know how to kiss a girl; how to bring and make a success of the kissclose. Moreover, more than a PUA beginner finds himself blocked in the stage of the Kissclose (The best example is Style in his early stages for those who have read The Game).

Let’s do things in the order. Before seeing HOW kissing a girl, let’s see WHEN to kiss her. You know it, to seduce a girl, everything is question of timing. It is not for nothing that Mystery created a method of seduction divided in so many small stages. A girl can leave you a window of shooting (a chance), but if you do not seize it, not leaving you a second one. So, you can come before more beautiful and sexier guys if they are pussies who do not dare to stick her to a wall and to eat her lips. Because knowing and daring to act is an alpha behavior.

The stage of the kissclose does not escape this rule and is a part of the seduction. You should not wait too much at the risk of becoming a Nice guy in the eyes of the young lady whom you desire, nor rush to don’t scare her off. (n.b. : The situation is always nevertheless easier to catch up if you acted too early than if you acted too late).

It will belong to you to estimate the situation according to the personality of your target, her body language, and the environment (place, persons present, atmosphere). Sorry but I can’t be more precise than that because every interaction is unique. It’s up to you to calibrate. But never forget that a kiss close has to be the continuation of a sexual tension: do not try cold kissclose. Except if it’s just to have fun (But for that is needed a fucking pair of corones all the same thus we will speak about it another time because we make bases here). A trick which helped well me in my early stages: I gave myself a purpose: I said to myself that come what may at the end of the date I would kiss her.

You thus have to create enough comfort and attraction so that miss is ready (at least unconsciously) for a physical proximity with you. If you wish to accelerate things, bet on a good conversation and control your touches (kinos). Kinos are essential to kissclose because they allow to test the reaction of the young lady to your contact, and to create an intimacy. If she reacts well to your kinos, in theory, you will kiss close more easily.

Kiss-openers : When to kiss

The question that many men have in mind, is: how to kiss the girl during the phase of seduction. There are very numerous possibilities, to be adapted according to your personality.

*The kissclose like Beigbeder. You : « I bet you a glass of champagne that I can kiss you without touching your lips » after some negotiations, she should accept, tell her to close eyes and…. Kiss her passionately without waiting for her reaction.

* After a dinner / drink: You : « you have a lot of chocolat (café,…) on the chin ». Remove delicately the imaginary tracks with your fingers, shake them in grumbling and say: « fuck, they are not working » and go next to her to kiss her.

*You : « Listen, I saw well that you want to kiss me, but I think that it is a little bit too soon » Her : « Hein, what ?! not at all » You : « Really, well after all you are right, why waiting more ?! »

*You : « I spend a very good moment. I think that if you were a brunette/blonde (say the opposite of what she is) I would already have kissed you » Her : « ????? » You : « Yeah, unfortunately, the Brunettes/blonde women (what she is) are bad kissers » Her : « It’s not true » well, after that neg-hit, she will in theory be easier to kiss. Or then if she is not enough confident, she will be angry and you will lose everything. So pay attention on your calibration when you neg.

*The Mystery’s kissclose : You : « We are going to play a game about trust. You have to place your lips at 2 cms of mine, but, obviously do not try to kiss me ! ». Then kiss her.

Say it with a languishing body language (look at her straight in the eyes, half-smile), just what is needed to make miss wet. This game allows to invert the role and to be a little more the one who is desired (the “prize”). Make the first step, and get closer in 2cm to her. But let to the young lady the choice to finalize or not. We so learn more about miss (does she takes initiatives?)

*At the time of leaving: «We give each other a kiss on the cheek or we assume our attraction? ». « Cordial handshake or soft kiss? » (kiss opener you can try when you are really confident).

You : « So, what do you wanna do now? » Her : « IDK, and you? » (Here is a typical answer of women) You : « you’ll see » and kiss her.

They are only examples, but I think that they will give you an idea of the quantity of sentences and psychological approaches (playful, alpha, not interested,…) which can help to kiss close. There are ideas which suit to everybody !

Take the initiative to kiss her

Apparently, at the time of kissing your target, it’s up to you to make the first step. But at the crucial moment, it is easy to be invaded by the fear of the failure… In the point to be paralyzed and do nothing… What always leads to the fiasco: a woman often prefers to let you die on-the-spot fear rather than to make the first step if she is not sure that it is mutual. She will certainly be disappointed that you didn’t found the courage, but never at the point of taking the initiative herself. Why? Well, because if you are incapable to assume your desires, then you are not the kind of man she is looking for. Consequently, when comes the moment to act, take your courage in two hands and make “the first step” : She will be very grateful to you for it…

Having said that, I sometimes take initiatives with other things than my mouth (especially my hands/words) to the point that it is her who kisses me first because she cannot handle it any more. Besides, it is good because we give them some validation when we kiss them, that way we give them less, and it is still better to do it at home to be then able to sleep with her. It is not rare, especially in a club, that a girl can “content” with having been kissed by a guy and with not trying to go “more deeply” in the relation.

Pure technique

It is impossible to describe a perfect kiss, because it results more from an alchemy between both partners than from a particular technique. Do not think, and forget yourself. A very effective technique to kiss a girl consists in approaching her to kiss her… and to pause for a moment before touching her lips. Look at her in eyes with a little smile… And kiss her. This ultimate tension should break all her barriers and activate a tsunami of hormones in the panties of the young lady. Make her dream, or live kisses of cinema, etc.

Besides, at first, do not put your hands on her buttocks or other too intimate places. Walk them in the hollow of the back and on the nape of her neck, zones of the feminine body which are very sensitive while staying on the territory of the gentleman…. And do not kiss only with your mouth, also use your hands, and not always in the same way (more passionately, more slowly, nibble, lick, kiss, with or without the tongue, in the neck, etc.) Imagine your are a vampire.

Bottom line : bottom line, kissing can be perceived like “not a big deal” or like a commitment. Attention ! Btw, what does it mean for you ?

III – 5 things you should avoid when kissing a girl

First, we must know and admit that a good kiss is more dependent on the chemistry between the two partners who kiss than on a pure technique.

However, even if there is no real connection between you and the girl you kiss, which can happen from time to time, it does not matter. You can still make this moment a pleasant one.

For this, what you’ll do is you’ll lead. You will impose your way of kissing enough time to better know each other. Then the two of you will be adapt a little bit to the other.

Moreover, at first do not put your hands on her buttocks or boobs (that’s boorish). Stroll in the small of her back, her hips, her neck, take her face in your hands… These are territories that remain the domain of the gentleman but that still are very erotic and erogenous.

Do not use your hands and do not always kiss the same way. You can kiss her more or less passionately, with or without tongue, more or less tighten your grip while you kiss, nibble his lips or her ear lobe, you can lick her neck… so many ways to make your kiss a preliminary!

A good kiss, in general, it’s one lip over the other. It’s not like that (we are not in a comic):

(Image : Disney)


Once you’ve kissed a bit like that, you can open a little bit more your mouth to see if the girl will follow you. And once the mouth is a little more open, you can try to go and play with her tongue. Do not put directly it in the back of her throat, you will see gradually if she follows. It is useless to turn your tongue during 107 years, it is better to give several short kisses.

Top 5 of things you should avoid when you kiss :
– The knock of teeth in a hurry (that’s often front teeth that hit);
– The soup of tongue (oral rape) : washing machine 1200 rpm (not including spin) + drooling;
– Blowing while you are kissing (true story);
– Eating her lower lip like a wild sometimes up to leave scars there (they are people who love but that well);
– The kiss of the two who keep their eyes open and who look at each other in the eyes with the eyes of a Tarsier.


Camille 75000 — Travail personnel

How to sexualize your conversations with unknown women ?

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