Author: Fabrice Julien PUA

It is quite difficult for me to explain to guys that they should not date a girl at any cost, at any time. I’ll explain why in two pages on Word.

I speak here only of girls who are not your girlfriend: of course you can make sacrifices for a girl once you are in a relationship with her, or in any case once she deserved you give her more value than your routine.

The other exception is if you did not have sex for a long time, if you are sure that the girl is open, and you cannot place her on another time slot.

It communicates bad things

First, why would I cancel my Thursday evening swimming session for dating a girl instead… so that it is precisely the only niche that we could meet up BECAUSE she does not want to cancel her sports sessions nor her slumber party?

You would communicate that you are really a sex-starved ready to anything for her by doing that. And since you hardly know her, she will not feel flattered unless she’s stupid, she will just lose respect for you.

If you were always available when she wants, you would communicate that your life is meaningless and you do not do anything interesting.

If it goes wrong

If it goes wrong, you would regret your workout in addition to the girl. Double disappointment, in addition of the fail with the girl: the one of having been ruled by your cock. Like a virgin !

Besides, you know very well that a lot of girls do flake… so if you have canceled everything on your side and that eventually she flakes (date canceled at the last moment), you are doubly fucked.

The balance of power

There’s more chance that that she is a pain in the ass for you if she makes no sacrifice to see you when you make a big one for her.

In this situation, she has invested nothing in you, while you really invested in her. The balance of power is so clearly in her favor. She will be tempted to abuse and break you. Give your hand to a woman and she eats you arm. No, frankly, taking a step towards the girl first, yes, but she has to make efforts too: remember that you are a chance for a girl (positive belief).

Do not put pressure on the girl

You need to communicate some cold blood. Your impatience can put pressure on the girl, put her uncomfortable and it will be tempting for her to say no, by ease, even if she likes you.

If you cancel something for her, you will put her necessarily some pressure to come and indeed (you will stress a bit like when you put money in a game of chance): she may feel it, not feel at ease, and therefore not come.

Do not be a spare wheel

Oh yeah the girl was not available but finally the guy she wanted to see canceled… ?! She therefore re-contacts you to occupy her free evening… you’d be stupid to accept if you had something else planned now on that time slot.

Women should not be a priority at the expense of your gym workout, your friends, your family, these things…

On the other hand, they may be a priority at the expense of a night alone with your TV…

But put yourself five minutes in the shoes of your friends if you cancel your football match for a pussy that you barely know … “He has lost his balls” they will think out loud!

The only hole that you can patch is… oh no there are three, but none is her schedule !!! 😉

Do not cancel a girl for another one

One should not cancel a girl for another one (even if she is better). Or you must use a very good excuse. The girls are not stupid … vex a girl like that in her ego and she will not give you a second chance.

Sometimes I dated two girls on the same day at the same hour, praying that one of the two cancels by herself, feels guilty and makes a counter-proposal. If it doesn’t happen and that my favorite confirmed, I so canceled the one I liked the less a priori. But it is only in cases of extreme urgency that I allow myself to do that. It’s about respect !

Finally, it regularly happens anyway since my free evenings for dates are quite rare (1 or 2… maximum 3 per week). And, in addition it has to be free for the girl too, so it’s not very easy.

The conclusion : do not cancel anything to see a girl who has not deserved this favor yet. Date her when it suits your. If after a while, it’s really impossible to do otherwise and you really want to see the girl: you can make a minor sacrifice. But … alpha male forever!

In my opinion, the question of logistics is what shows that most that the pickup is inseparable from personal development.

If one has not good logistics, it will be harder. Logistics is a reflection of the lifestyle, so it makes sense.

Living in an apartment in the city center, close to cool stuff to do, a nice bar at least, will greatly simplify your life.

Flatshare

In Aix, I lived at 5 minutes walk away from La Rotonde (for those who know it). So it was easy to bring chicks home. Easy access for them to come directly to my place too. In short, easy to fuck.

I was in a flatshare. With guys and girls. The guys understood that I bring chicks. Girls, oddly, did not care too. Must say that from the fourth in one month, they were jaded.

But to avoid uncomfortable feelings, I went straight to my room with the girls… and then that’s it. It even made an excuse to sit immediately on my bed with a drink.

In this way, my ephemeral beloved did not meet my roommates. It was like if they were my neighbors. Chicks could keep a sense of anonymity too. Which prevents feeling any judgment…

Then, I think it depends on the apartment anyway. Mine was well insulated, large enough, you could not hear their cries of pleasure.

In addition I spent nice evenings that turned into crazy parties there. My roommates were cool but I imposed from the start it would be like that, that I was a PUA and that’s it. It was better than frustrating myself and blaming them for that…

With your parents

When I lived with my parents, everything was more complicated. I had to wait until they are not there or then go to the girl’s place. If she lived with her parents, we also had to wait until they are not there.

But, when a couple is “official” one can fuck with the parents there if official owners of the place say it’s OK. But admit it’s difficult and it makes one feel uncomfortable, especially for a one-night stand. Seduction requires privacy…

In short, if you still live with your parents, think long-term. And it’s not sexy for a man to be a “mama’s boy.” Having a place communicates independence, maturity, resourcefulness, etc.

There are chicks that will eliminate you just because you have no apartment. They will say you are not a man. There more we grow old, the more it becomes true.

When we cannot take an apartment we still can bet on alternative solutions (which still complicate the game) or we can do our best to provide the means (investment).

Alternatives

You can always try to go to the girl. And some like that, they like playing at home. But I noticed that most prefer to come to you. So you do not penetrate their privacy for a one-night stand (paradoxical, I agree).

The solution may be to warm them and tempt them so they will drop their principles and invite you to their homes so much they will want to “know you better.”

Otherwise, the solution remains neutral places.

I’ve already fucked in the street, cinema, or in my car for a first time with a girl. One of my friends without logistics did it in the toilets of a bar. I also was sucked in the high school of a girl.

I also did in the forest, in a park, the sea, in a hall, in an elevator, at the workplace, etc. I even touched a girl on the tramwau once with people around who were seeing nothing.

In short, you have to be imaginative if you have not logistics, and pray that the girl is a little adventurous !!! One can bet on it too: like, we will realize a fantasy.

But yes, it complicates everything. That’s why I say that the game, it’s not only fucking chicks, but also it’s improving your lifestyle.

At home

In Lyon, I have an apartment located next to a metro stop of line D (easily accessible). In a quiet neighborhood … but known.

I have a clean place, a little Feng Shui, in a new building … chicks like it. They feel comfortable there. I even have some decorations that show that I’m a good guy, like a Buddha. It facilitates the F-close.

For K-closes, please note that this is not really a problem for them to do it outside.

Living alone, in addition, can motivate to practice pickup, to do not feel lonely (even if sometimes it’s nice to be quiet). But living alone is also the obligations we have not at mom and dad’s place: pay rent, do laundry, shopping, housekeeping…

With that said, if you have no home, you do not have to tell them and you can play on the sexual tension in order to fuck in a neutral place or at her place, saying that it is closer or whatever. But in general I guess it’s better to talk about it before the date.

Why don’t we talk about sex in the same way between men and when there are members of the opposite sex with us?

“GUYS WANT TO PRESERVE THEIR IMAGE.”

This is the first thing I said when I heard some men say as an absolute truth that we speak better and in amore sincere way about sex when we talk between men.

Not only this is not always the case but I have often observed the opposite. And nights with balls talking about sex… it’s good when we are 18 years old, seriously.

It’s always this latent hypocrisy I guess that comes into play.

The guys are also afraid of being ashamed if they say something wrong about sex and to be judged. For women it is a little bit similar, too.

Is it sexism?

After all, filtering our words is treating girls differently just because they are girls.

This seems quite symptomatic of the difficult gender relations in our time. We are torn between modernity, diversity and yet still full of prejudice and gendered stereotypes. We struggle to give a sense to things.

Some girls feel compelled to play the offended as soon as it’s about sex and there are guys in the place (even if they talk blithely alone with their girlfriends and full of crispy information read in magazines female).

Many men, wanting to be thought of “good” guys, feel compelled to do the same as soon as there are chicks around.

Synergies creative & mixed groups

In light of studies on the subject, synergies in mixed groups are creative, even higher compared to groups composed of just one sex.

It could be instructive to discuss more often about that with the fair sex (I’m not speaking of mine).

Differences between men and women

By focusing on more than 120 properties ranging from empathy to sexuality through the interest in science and introversion, a statistical analysis conducted on a sample of over 13,000 individuals did not confirm that men and women belong to two identifiable groups.

This study suggests that, outside of certain physical criteria, the categorization of humans on the basis of gender is not pertinent because the similarities are more numerous and important than the differences.

The differences between brain of man and woman exist, certainly. For example, the male brain is larger and the female brain matures one or two years younger than ours. But as stated earlier, the psychological differences between men and women are not significant. The differences between the brain of a man and a woman are really exaggerated in popular culture.

Most of the distinctions we make, stereotypes, have therefore no reason to be. I like winnowing and teasing as I would do with male mates (with a stronger sexualization). I do not like the attitudes of divas nor the preferential treatment if she does not suck me like a queen. But I will not tolerate in guys neither. I do not pay all the drinks at the bar when I booze with a girl. Once it’s me, once it’s her, it seems fairer. Like with my bros. At the taekwondo, I don’t care if I fight against a woman or against a guy in training. Simply because there is nothing personal there.

Is it a matter of trust, intimacy, modesty?

We adapt our behavior to the link that we have with the person in front of us. I speak more easily of my STD to a doctor or a friend than with a stranger. Matter of trust.

I’ll talk more easily about my dick problems with my friends that my girlfriends. Just as I prefer to talk about it to my father than my mother. Although both they have wiped my ass when I was young.

This brings me to a question … Does intimacy develops more easily with people of the same sex? Do we think that they can better understand us?

Is it not ultimately a matter of intimacy, all that? Like if a woman entered a locker room full of men at the gym : general malaise. Is it modesty, to be right?

It absolutely does not bother me to get naked in front of the guys in the locker room when leaving the sport. Although I would find it weird that a dude watches my cock insistently. In front of a group of women, it would surely be different. I might be hard. Is not the purpose nevertheless not to show them our cocks so that they suck it?

With what I’ve written, one might conclude that the average straight man seems to have a homoerotic vision for intimacy. What man has never lived these intense moments, side by side with a stranger, dick in hand, standing at the urinal of a restaurant?

However, the game teaches us to think otherwise. To assume more. In the book, a guy gets to pee in a urinal with people around thanks to the game when he was blocked his entire life. If a girl comes into my locker room, will I try to fuck her? Would I be a little exhibitionist and should I have my hair shower in front of her anyway? Will there happen an orgy with my friends?

Because of a seductive report?

In society, we all carry a mask. We are not the same alone than with someone. We also adapts to different people. We do not talk like to a child the same way than with an old woman. We do not talk to a bitch we fucked twice like with our girlfriend for two years. Even if we should perhaps because people don’t like be patronized nor that we relax in general.

We do not talk to a girl that we would like to fuck like to a family member. Is the problem there that a man and a woman not related genetically are by default and sometimes despite themselves in a latent seductive report, at different levels depending on the context (even if the desired purpose is not always sex)?

I think so, and so most people want to maintain their social character. Although the report is unconscious seduction, sexual words would echo in the imagination of the other. When our friends would maybe laugh, maybe our girlfriends are going to repeat the thing to their friends, etc.

There are standards to be respected but do not abuse

If I hold the door to a girl, that I help to carry her shopping, if I leave my place in bus for a pregnant woman, does it makes me an horrible sexist?

It’s stupid to want at any costs do not meet the standard, until eliminating the “good” stereotypes and friendly uses… I will continue therefore to do not fart in front of the chicks I want to fuck. Not because it’s not natural to drop a fart, but because it could block her and delete me from her list of contenders.

A girl who comes naked in a locker room guys can turn us on, but we will also say that she is crazy. That’s the thing.

Do not break our idealization dreams

Toilets are often separated, and it would bother me that a woman hear me shitting. Just like that would bother me to hear someone shitting and it is a pretty young woman who goes out the crapper. Perhaps as much as her by the way.

The girls poo and emit smelly farts, certainly, but color rainbow sky with glitter, right? Oh, right?!

Do not cook (too much) rules

When I play a game with a girl and she wins, I applaud but neither more nor less than if she was a guy. I do not play either below my level to make it easier for her. I hate to see guys cooking with the rules in their favor to avoid vexing women (hoping to fuck them).

The reports are thus healthier. More authentic. More genuine. Everyone feels respected, and it is not uncommon in these conditions, that we then start flirting in a more uninhibited and speaking of sex or other stuff we usually are not supposed to in a group mixed. A girl who can speak without hypocrisy of those subjects that inspire us (they are like us) becomes even sexier in my eyes anyway.

And that’s why I try hard to do it in front of women. I often surprise them or sometimes refers to their own blockages and thus puts them uncomfortable. But never mind, I feel more free. More real. The real ones will enjoy !

It would be damaging to limit our originality because of the thing we have between the legs. Why not becoming Human, and looking beyond the roles that we were given at birth ? The relationship with the opposite sex would so become less problematic, less anxiety. And the reason is because we would not only talk to a representative of her sex, but to a whole person.

Conclusion

Let’s say that in general (there s always some counter-examples blahblahblah): Girls do not understand guys as well as other guys, because they are not guys, they have not been raised as boys (sociology) and because they have no dick (biology). In sum, because small differences between us matters and are hindering us.

But we are maybe (probably) wrong. From my experience, a girl who is happy to talk to me about sex without too many obstacles is often cool and open later.

Assume your sexuality. That is the watchword of my game. And it works pretty well.

I have desires, pulsions, fantasies. And I assume them. That’s it.

The thing is that women have too. And the fact that I am “worse than” or “like” them, reassures them. It puts them comfortable. They do not feel judged. That’s why it works showing your cards the first one.

Moreover, they feel a certain sexual confidence coming from me, so they say to themselves “Well, for once he will surely be a good lover, him. In addition, he bangs a lot of beautiful girls, will he want me? If he fucks me it means that I’m pretty.”

I do not like routines, lines… I do not like the game based on a physical appearance that requires an enormous work or an extreme social proof. I like the simple game, based on a state of mind. I love being an alpha male that gives them pleasure and makes women orgasm like crazy.

My advice ? I suggest that you make your interactions more sexual. I suggest you to go faster right in her pu… I do not want you to be stuck in too polite interactions, social interaction… (damn who said frustrating friendzone?)

Sexual prizing also works if you just want to find a girlfriend. Indeed, by training to fuck good, it is women who want more and some would pear so that I become their boyfriend. Being a good lover can retain! Not only men who can be held back by what they have between their legs.

I see myself as a pretty simple guy. I do not look like a womanizer. I am not trying to convince the girl I’m a good lover so she sleeps with me. I do not seek validation. I give her a chance to experience something unusual. I choose her, be careful, but she must proves she has the level and deserves to have caught my attention. I do not like stupidity either. I like girls, thin, firm, slightly muscled, with beautiful long hair, very feminine, fragrant with love and with some strength of character.

I want to see her reach orgasm. I want to give her orgasms. I told her. The naked truth … and if she doesn’t believe me (because most guys are bad in bed or because she is totally sexually inhibited and full of blockages), too bad for her. I’m not her shrink. But, I try a little to explain her the concept of comfort zone and everything. So she understands where her interest is and why she feels stressed. This way, I can see if she is prone to avoidance strategies too. We never change a person. Let’s give her a chance or two, maximum three. And if not, leave her in her shit. You cannot open the field of possibilities to people who are not receptive at all.

Thus, the reaction of the girl to my proposal (enthusiastic or rejection) is not personal. This is her relation with sex that is involved. I am absolutely not tied to the result, even if the chicks who deflate piss me off a little. But I know I will have others.

I do not either get big headed because I’ve fucked a pure hottie after only two hours of conversation.

The difference between most guys and me is that I don’t care about indicators of interest, having “a hypothetical shot” with a girl. Ultimately, I do not give a shit as long as she stays when I am pushy, when I am taking initiatives. I work just in time.

I do not try to please her before trying to sleep with her. My approach is not prudent. It is courageous ! Even bold, sometimes. And she, is she? I love bold women. It makes me hard. And there are more than one might think in reliance on appearances.

I do not dwell on trying to convince her that I’m an exceptional guy, that, she must feel it (or she will notice in doggy style). I’m not convinced that we have to seduce for hours before in order to get the right to try to sleep with the girl (frame of too romantic girls). I play by my rules. Does she play with me? No woman will decide on my sex life. If the proposal does not suit me or she pisses me off a little too much with her fucking doubts, I next.

It happened to me having sex with women just because I had touched them the right way, I had turned them on. They confessed to me after I was not their type but they enjoyed like crazy.

I would say that contrary to the strategy of most guys, we will fuck more and faster by declaring lover rather than future boyfriend. Note that I do not fuck sluts. I even deflowered girls like that. I had “serious” relationships that started like that too. Sometimes the chicks want a breath of fresh air or is looking for simplicity. They are not angels. They are curious, most love this sex a little hard little that guys do not dare to give them (the doggy style is not so widespread as we might think).

However, this does not prevent you from (and I mean it’s a DUTY) winning her trust. I rarely slept with a woman as soon as she walked in my door. We mostly discussed before, they tested my story (she’s right, but it should not be excessive either), reassures herselft (so she sees that I’m nice) and so it makes up the sexual tension. And I also need to be won, it is not a foregone conclusion for her because she has a pussy and I have a dick (basic frame of the guy ready to anything to have sex, widespread in our society). Even if her pussy is wet and my dick is hard.

It is during this phase of trust building that it is important to do not ruin the sexual tension with nervousness, keep it simple and humble, and tease her. Your communication and body language must be good (not need to be exceptional either). And you must dare. You must assume in front of her too.

I often talk directly about sex. In fact, I start most of my interactions speaking of sex. And then I reveal myself if I feel like it. It’s a strategic choice and being clear about my intentions avoids me friendzone. I first test the women, their relation with sex. If it is bad (often in today’s society) I do not fuck with her because I know from experience that 99% chance are she pisses me off. If it is good, we can have an interesting conversation that will surely lead to good sex.

Women love good sex, the thing is that many do not even know what it is. Too few guys are able to procure it. Raising her sexual desire, OK, but you have to be good after. Otherwise, it would be ridiculous. The guide of good lover is here for that purpose, don’t worry!

The isolation, the atmosphere is also important. That is why the dates in a bar piss me off. They do not help to raise the sexual tension thoroughly. Since we know we will have to move anyway before fucking. And it surely will cool us a bit. It’s still easier if we are sitting on a bed together. Intimacy helps keeping it a secret too.

I’ll get you in the opposite position to explain better sexual prizing: you talk to a girl. You do not really like her, she is a 6/10. But she describes you very subtly how she sucks, that she knows how to make some guys come in less than 4 minutes with only her mouth, and she tells you how a guy told her that her ass doggy style was the best in Lyon. As you begin to imagine the scene, you will be cooked. It sparks your sexual desire. And if she then invites you to come (if you are sure that this is not a trap to kill you or rob you), you surely would go fucking her. She won (you too).

The thing is, we’re trying to do them the same thing. It works pretty good too to send erotic news to the chicks to describe a fuck session with you (speed seduction). The thing is that it must be imagined, in her mind. You put her the idea in mind.

Ideas:
– Bet on your pussy licking, and you will fuck more and more! Few men are able to make a woman orgasm with only their language (and/or their fingers) but I swear they love it!
– Make her understand that you are not an amateur nor a sex-starved. That she will not be frustrated after a penetration of only two minutes while she imagines and hoped she would enjoy like a little crazy. Emphasize that you attach a great importance to the orgasm of your partner, even after having finished.
– Show a little value and that you are not a pervert (humor, social intelligence, teasing, etc.)

What’s difficult is to communicate your expertise in the bed without seeming to brag nor anything. As if it was completely normal. And unfortunately we must respect some basic conventions (we should not mention sodomy in front of strangers, for example).

Discretion is paramount too. A girl I fucked in another life told me that the chicks were not scared to warm me, sending me crap by texts or anything because they knew that I am very respectful and discreet. It’s probably not obvious with my blog but know that it is impossible to recognize a girl that I fucked. I am very careful to detail.

Indeed, socially, it is hard for a woman to take initiatives with a lambda guy. They do not want to have a bad reputation in their chest or work because they behave like guys (what an injustice when we think about it). So again, do not judge. And make them understand that we do not judge. That it is not deemed makes the girl more confident. They dare more under these conditions. And above all, if you are an “unknown stranger” for her, she will be better able to let it go in the bed. And you too. It’s been a good egg! It’s a win-win scenario.

Please do not act like a needy. She must realize that she has as much to win in sleeping with you as you do.

I advise no man to wait until the woman offers sex for free or come and seduce. It does not work if you’re not Bradley Cooper or the hot waiter in a famous club, I guess. Warning eh, I would love they usually come picking me up by displaying their desire to fuck me that same night. But doing that would require it to be written on my forehead “exceptional lover.” Yeah … it’s not really the role of a woman to do our work for us. They will dress sexy, will make prolonged eye, yes, maybe … but for the rest…

The girls are the “price” because there are plenty of guys as sexy as us (sorry) outside. But the good guys in bed, it does not run the streets. So become the prize, sexually speaking. Classic scenario: you kiss a chick in a club and one hour later she is kissing another guy (which does not mean she will sleep with someone that night: too many inhibitions and social pressure) . On the other hand, fuck her like a God and she will have eyes only for you.

There will be not more resistances or shit like that, in this situation.

Offer her first sex with no consequences, just to test the sexual connection between both of you. This will facilitate your fuckcloses. And then nothing will prevent you to continue to see her. But they do not all want a couple (and it does not question that they are good girls rather it shows they think and do not put the cart before the horse despite the pressure exerted on them by the society).

That was the moral of the story.

Note that many still refuse sex without consequence or anything even if it would make them feel good. Too much fear in them. Too much social pressure around them. Negative imagination probably too. Too many past disappointments. Religion (even if some take it in the ass) ? Too much shit so we’re all happy and fulfilled (there’s not only sex in life gnagnagna assholes will say and I agree, but it’s important for our balance so it is not surprising that we all are neurotic in today’s society). You know the drill. Now that you know the rules, your turn. For you and for them.

May the God of game helps our rehabilitation approach.

I was wandering on YouTube at lunchtime and I discovered this video of AndyRaconte: The True Meaning of the Breaking up sentences.

I thought it was well considered, frankly. Breaking up sentences (like most sentences to put nice rakes) are often indeed crappy excuses.

In her video, Andy had fun giving the true meaning of these excuses. What hides behind. She says it is based on real facts and a lot of research on forums of se… loveeeeee. It does not surprise me.

Below are my favorite ones:

1/ You deserve better! = I deserve better!

2/ I think it goes too fast … = You invaded me and you’re starting to scare me …
(needy)

3/ I love you, but as a friend. = You do not excite me at all.
(on the other hand there are friends who turn us on)

4/ I do not know what I want … = Can I keep you on hand in case?

5/ I know you’ll find someone good! = Anyone as long as it is not me…

6/ It cannot work but you’re someone great. = Do not kill yourself, I do not want to have your death on my conscience.
(this is often the case in most excuses)

7/ I’m still thinking about my ex … = You’re just a gap-filler…
We agree, getting back with an ex is like swallowing your vomit.
(I especially agree with the part about vomit : if it did not work the first time, it’s for a reason)

8/ I need to focus on my career. = I just want a sex.
(“but if a tall, handsome and rich guy wanted to marry me, I would say yes”)

9/ There is also the simplest technique, the technique of the coward : it’s just playing dead. There’s no one anyùpre, you will not answer to calls, text messages, messages on the answering machine or on FB and you will wait until the person finally understands after a few days or weeks that you are no longer together.
(sometimes cowardly person is so coward that she does not assume she is playing dead so occasionally she sends a message that basically says she is unavailable or too busy to meet up – must see roughly if the message communicates disinterest)

10/ The most devious excuses because can be done very easily: “I need a break.” = I fuck someone else and I just need time to know who I prefer.
(or so: I want to break up definitively but gently so one step after the other)