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How to pick a girl up ? (The full course)

In this article, we will see how to flirt a girl. We’ll also see when to kiss a girl.

Note that you should read the article on how to seduce a girl.

How to pick a girl up


How to flirt with a girl: the essential social skills

How to pick up a girl ? Knowing how to talk about anything with a stranger requires certain skills, some of them come to mind immediately. I think, in particular, that you have to know how to bounce on one sentence, how to listen to the other, how to be light, how to avoid angry subjects. In short, have a minimum of common sense.


How to pick up a girl ? Using your common sense

Sometimes, I observe some clampin lambda and I wonder if they have a minimum of logic: what use is it to reflect on a political event to a seller at Carrefour? You could hurt her deepest convictions, and even so, there are many more interesting topics and less headaches, which they just might make her have a good time.


Is the art of conversation technical?

When I hear some nazes say that Bob AFC is a natural beginner, I want to tear off the keys on my keyboard and jump through the window while naked.

A natural beginner does not exist, and in case you have not noticed yet, while some can talk 20 minutes of acoustic amp with a crazy old met at the bus stop while they do not know nothing about it, others are not even able to engage after the fateful “hello” addressed to the pretty, slightly naughty brunette sitting at their rank in college.

How to pick up a girl ? Like everything that is technical, some have the thing, some not. Those who do not have to work harder to get level, but they will eventually understand the thing. That’s why I kill myself saying that personal development is the basis of the base: we have nothing without anything in life, so we must get out of the ass to progress.


How to chat a girl: the importance of the first name

How to pick up a girl ? I just read an article, with one or two nice tips to apply when introducing you to someone. If like me, you are not damned to remember a name, read well. It is appropriate to take the name of the person to greet, immediately by saying hello.

How to pick up a girl ? Compliment the person on her name “Ah Zahia, I love this name is very exotic.” Pretend an annoying outside noise to make the name repeat if you have ever forgotten or not understood. It’s completely stupid, but people like you to remember their name, and repeating it during the discussion creates intimacy.


Intimate distance

Also try to find the right distance depending on the location. Do not be fooled 50 meters from her in a big empty room but do not come and stick to 30 centimeters either.

How to pick up a girl ? As far as possible, choose a social distance at the beginning of the interaction, even if you are closer to her. Do not enter her inner circle from the beginning. Adopt a seductive look, that is to say cool and relaxed. Do not slouch like a clod on the couch, but do not stand upright like a military at attention. Be comfortable.

Also note that your body attitude rubs off on your emotions (hard to make you think you’re sad while you’re doing antics, right?) If you have a cool guy positioning, you will feel cool, and will be even cooler.

That’s what I can say, a kind of virtuous circle. Take a pleasant voice and avoid gestures that betray any anxiety. If you feel that you are gesticulating too much, correct yourself. This kind of problem is solved through breathing.


Positivity and energy level

How to flirt a girl on the street? You do not have much time, you came up with an opener and swayed a bogus excuse to explain that you have little time to grant her. And what do you want? Do you want her to want to see you again?

So rather than complicate the task, you have to play it simple, you have to make her laugh. If you are full of energy and happy as I do not know what, she will necessarily be unless her dog just died or other. It does not necessarily requieres a high level of energy to flirt in the street, but in bars it is strongly recommended.


Emotional contagion

How to pick up a girl ? If you land in your life all smiles, fun and cool, she will become fun and cool: the human being tends to similarity and her spirit swears by the positive, a smile is contagious, a jovial and dynamic state of mind also.

If you are a catalyst for positive emotions, she will associate you with something positive, and she will want to see you again, so taking a number will be just a formality.

Of course not everything is so simple, and we often run into closed girls (poorly deactivated flight reflex, girl in a bad state of mind, girl who is in fact a simple shit). It is then necessary to practice the gradual opening.

How to pick up a girl ? If she betrays by her body language, or her voice, a lack of any opening, lower a tone and resume a little more seriously, once she hangs you can increase your energy level, and so hers. Note that sometimes we just fall on stupid girls, next.


Social Intelligence

Make the distinction. Sometimes the girl is not open. Just as you are sometimes sad or angry because of the job or a lambda story, she is perhaps horny at will but remains a human being with her personal problems.

How to pick up a girl ? Already, we have to make the distinction between the basic bitch who likes to belittle people and the girl who is not open because of her negative emotions.

The basic bitch does not deserve your interest, there are idiots everywhere and toxic individuals deserve only your contempt. If you have the feeling that her naze attitude is only temporary and that you feel the motivation to dig a little her case, there is a way to do it.



Going back first, you come up with a level of energy far too much higher than her. She had a crappy day, for example, so do not be the weird guy. Lower a tone, take a topic a little more serious and try to understand.

If she opens up to you, bounce it “ah your boss pisses you off, yeah me too, besides I planned to kill him, you know how in such a movie… you saw it?”. Once you’ve done it, go back to where you’re going.

The goal is to end the interaction by leaving her in a more positive state than when she did not know you yet.

how to pick a girl up
Picture : L’arnacoeur


How to flirt a girl: Make conversation

How to pick up a girl ? Chatting with a girl is the most reliable way to root out information. The information will be used to calibrate accurately, to qualify/disqualify.

I recommend the following to those who already have enough social fluency to hold a conversation with anyone, as part of an evening where they can take their time (the others might get confused a little).


Conversation topics

How to pick up a girl ? Already, know that there are no key topics. There are certainly the fundamentals (men/women relations for example), but no subject is absolutely to proscribe. It can be psychology like computers, sports or ecology, we don’t give a shit.

Of course, she will not deliver emotionally to you if you exchange your opinions on the new iPhone, but if your goal is to simply create complicity, do not avoid a sexless subject at all costs. Since you know how to bounce back, wait for the opportunity and then deviate the conversation to something more personal: “Besides my ex had this application…”

That said, avoid, like the plague, certain subjects, style: politics or positions. In general, I avoid opinions too decided, I do not take too much for this or that cause or in any case I do not talk about it during the meeting, I expect to know her better, it avoids once again to hurt her personal convictions (and that she also hits mine).

Then anyway it’s not funny. There are plenty of countries where talking politics with friends is not polite, in France because we love to complain, we often discuss stupid topics. Avoid them.


Frame the conversation

How to pick up a girl ? Do not let the conversation go anywhere, but do not try to contain it: you could be considered an interested guy, and it would heat up on radars… So it should be non-directive, subtly bypass some obstacles, don’t speak to say nothing (it is weird, and we do not want to be a weirdo), and overcome some resistance as and when.

It is preferable that this is the target that takes the initiative of a sexual conversation for example, it will avoid the “oh but why we speak of doggy style already? Oh yes, it’s you, obsessed”. Finally, at the limit we do not care, we do not care completely, but if you try to lead and frame a discussion, it’s better if she thinks the idea comes from her. Personally, I sexualize pretty fast in general, but I tease immediately after so that the girl thinks that it is she who has the dirty mind. It’s not a beginner thing but that’s what I advise you to do if you are comfortable.


The nicknames

How to pick up a girl ? Repeating one’s name from time to time creates intimacy, and even if it’s not really subtle, I always like to find rotten nicknames to annoy them, but also to pretend that I’ve always known them: “Blablablabla… not true Juju?
– Yes it’s true that blah blah… but do not call me Juju fuck.”


A small check-up

Always ask yourself these questions:
– Do I ask hrt (too much) often?
– Can I get her confidences?
– Am I attentive to her reactions?
– Do I react at the right moment?
– Can I listen to her ?
– Am I funny/light?
– Am I answering her shit-tests?
– Do I decode her emotions well?


Work on your faulty points

How to pick up a girl ? To be able to speak a girl without feeling that she is being interrogated is a major asset. Always unbalance the conversation a little on her side so that she gives in, that’s good because people love to talk about themselves in general. Especially the girls.

If you manage to arouse her emotion, bounce on it to amplify her state of openness, stay light, nice and interesting without revealing too much, creating an aura of mystery: it is obvious that she will open up to you and will even ask so that you meet up again. She can even take the initiative to ask for your number.

If you do well your job, expect this kind of reaction “We do not know each other enough and I tell you my life”, “I told you too much” or “Since earlier I talk about me, what about you?”. That’s how to flirt a girl…


Do not you fool it

Make the nuance between highlighting and broasting. Telling your little piece of history or your anecdotes without trying to shine, it is done in the subtlety and not with bragging.

Do like good journalists, and ask original and relevant questions if possible, and especially open questions.


Avoid closed questions

Closed questions refer to the brain and logic, open questions refer to emotions and imagination. Reminder: we answer a closed question by a simple yes or no, or a simple word, style “you went to the movies? “.

An open question forces her to think/remember: “What do you think of this movie? “. The complete course on communication here.



Try to hold a conversation by feeding only questions, or try adding questions at the end of your sentences. Make the difference with a normal conversation.

Do it subtly after a lambda phrase (your opener for example): “Hi. What do you think of … ?” Or “Yes it’s true. Last time it was like that too. By the way, do you think that …? » Respond to the person with only a minimum of words.

How to pick up a girl ? Make the most of your body language (shoulder shake, smile, expression with the eyes), and retort only with “oh really?” Or “awesome, tell me more about…”. In short, show that you are also active in the role of the listener, who is commonly passive.

This encourages the speaker to continue, and thus to deliver more information. Feeling listened to is pleasant, and seeing that the other is really interested in what you say makes you want to prolong the conversation.


The art of banality

How to pick up a girl ? When two people meet, or more concretely just after you have spoken, the discussion is not immediately intimate.

We usually exchange a few banalities and then we naturally switch to a more intimate and relaxed conversation, it is usually there that we do a little cooky and funny and tease a little the girl.

The more serious first sentence of discussion is needed to disable the flight reflexes, to show the girl that one is a normal guy who just wants to talk.

Try to notice when you are transitioning from the first phase of the discussion to the second: the friendly discussion.


Stay focused

This exercise allows you to stay focused on your goal by identifying the different stages that lead to it, this objective can be “take her number and then leave”, “invite her out”, whatever… As exercise to practice: during a conversation with buddies, always try to divert the conversation from the original subject by bouncing on a lambda info.

Then, test with people recently met: “In fact I work in programming, and I always liked the technical stuff. »; “I’m a little like that too, besides when I was little… blah blah.”

Little more, and if you are good at this little game only, because it’s quite boring otherwise: try to determine by raising the redundant vocabulary, if your interlocutor is more a visual, an auditory or kinesthetic.

Example: if she prefers to use as an expression “I see what you mean” rather than “I feel that you want to come here”, it is more a visual than a kinesthetic. This will allow you to more effectively touch your imagination and sensitivity. With a hearing girl, it would be rather “imagine the sound of wind blablabla…” while with a visual one would make “just imagine this sunset…”

How to pick a girl up


How to flirt with a girl: techniques

No stress

How to pick up a girl ? It has often been said, but I repeat: in seduction, girls are looking for cool guys and posed, well in their sneakers and with a big cock (just kidding). Think for two minutes and understand that talking about your passions or your first flirtation in order to stall a death anchor that kills you a bit later is meaningless and will have little effect if you sweat. like a marathon runner or stammering during the interaction.

What I mean by this is that if you have the attitude of a guy completely stressed, no matter what you tell her, at the end of the interaction she will keep in mind that you are a stressed guy .



First of all, it’s important to know how to smile. I have not just reinvented the world of psychology, but emotions are contagious. Show a social smile if the person in front of you is not able to draw a real one.

To work on your smile, lie in front of a mirror and play a little acting. Shoot a funeral and smile suddenly. Take a head of guy who enjoys and smile suddenly. Pretend to cry and snap, smile.

Simulate a lot of emotionsand force yourself to smile impromptu, it takes two minutes and allows you to work spontaneity and the sincerity of your smile.

Do it when you are alone, it will avoid you to go for a crazy. A sincere smile is created around the eyes, a fake is asymmetrical and a little longer to appear. There is no point in smiling throughout the interaction like a fool, you would be a fool or a jerk.


The eye contact

We do not all have the eyes of a big dark like Sir Banderas, but working the depth of his eyes can be useful (just watch the actors, or for a while, learn to always note the color of the eyes of your interlocutor, it will force you to dive your eyes in hers (exercise really useful)).

Stay planted there, staring at each other as if she were a marvel or I do not know what an incredible animal might make her uncomfortable, and make you feel uncomfortable in return. Between two guys, fixing is to provoke non-verbally.

How to pick up a girl ? Do not necessarily support her gaze for a decade. However, it is interesting to support the one of your target in some cases, and therefore not to have a shy eye contact.


A test

This is a form of testing since she may, for example, want to see if you finally assume your desire for her, or simply seek to play with you. We are all fans of these moments, are not we?

During the discussion, look in the eyes, in turn, all the members taking part in the conversation. This is very important, if you do not do it, some people will feel ignored and excluded.

If you are alone, it’s cool to take a look at yours from time to time, when you speak, and when you finish especially.

Do not hesitate to use a look of convenience (fix her forehead: neutrality) rather than your feet (shame of something) between two gloomy glances like Johnny Depp.

The rule here is to look in the eye when we speak (95% of the time) and avoid the gaze of the other when it is she who speaks (except 5% of the time). Be careful, the percentages are only indicative. The idea is that you do not go for a psychopath who always looks intently in the eyes, or for a guy unsure who can not support a look.


Kinos and body language

How to pick up a girl ? It is interesting to study the body language while remembering that a single sign is not enough to give a certain interpretation of the state of mind of the girl, it is the accumulation of these signs alone which allows a good interpretation.

But, we forget a little the essential, which is that a girl is a human being. And all do not like to be touched (there are some who are not used to, there are some who do not like contact, there are some who like to be pains in the ass…)


Auditive, Visual or Kinesthetic?

There are 3 big families of people. The visuals (about 50% of the Western population) are more sensitive to what refers to sight, auditory hearing, kinesthetic touch, tactile sensations.

How to pick up a girl ? If you want to talk to her emotional side and titillate her imagination, you will use a vocabulary and a way of acting specific to each of these families. For this still needs to calibrate with accuracy… Personally, it annoys me to do it, must be attentive and it pisses me off. That said, if I notice by chance that a chick is an auditory (for example), it’s clear that I will probably use this info at one time or another.

How to pick a girl up


How to flirt a girl: summary

How to pick up a girl ? In summary, after having touched, we maintain a real eye contact in the eyes as in love movies, we smile and then start the conversation. We pay attention to her and our body language (open and relaxed).

It is possible to look away or to swing a neutral look (on her forehead) when she is launched. We smile from time to time because we are a hot guy when we smile. It’s cool.

We feed the conversation with open questions, go into the more relaxed phase and we start to calibrate the girl a little, we go into active listening mode and we react to what she tells us. Afterwards, we put her at our energy level if necessary. We must stay focused on our goal.

If you are able to do all that, then the sexualization of the conversation becomes a pleasant and normal passage since in the logic of things. It is also valid to conclude. Rather than force events, do what is logical, it will result in something natural.


Be ready to answer girls’ tests

Good… what about the test of confidence (shit-test)? Do we throw this notion squarely in the trash or do we explain that indeed girls swing from time to time, but it is so serious that?

If a girl asks you to pick her up by car at her house before going to the movies, it’s gonna be to test your manhood or maybe you just want her to pick her up before going to cinema.

You have to know how to stay lucid and logical from time to time: girls do not test us all the time. In my opinion, a girl can swing you a test but it’s still quite rare, and it testifies to the fact that she noted an inconsistency in your game and she seeks to decide.

How to pick up a girl ? To answer a test “Do you do that to all girls? I say, “I do not know, what is Beigbeder’s last book?” Or the famous “agree and amplify” “Yes yes, to all, even my mom”. There are 36,000 ways to respond, and all are good as long as they fit your personality.

It’s a reflection of the confidence you have in yourself, because almost everything goes on as long as it’s consistent with your character, and that character gives you confidence.


How to flirt a girl: kiss her?

How to shine, in conclusion? Stop thinking. This is one of the reasons that makes it easy to pick up by being drunk.

From the moment when we are alone with the girl and she looks at us with doe eyes, and we start to say to each other “Uh… well… doe eyes… I like that, but I sense that this is the moment when I have to do something. I do not like that much. And if she repulsed me? I dunno. I do not know anymore. But what do I know? Who am I ? Where am I going ? In what state I wander ? What is the purpose of my life? Where did I put the keys to my car?” So here we are screwed.

If we tend to think too much at the base, in a situation of “stress” and I voluntarily put quotation marks because we all know that it is not one: it is even worse. When she looks at us with eyes that scream fly: we must kiss her directly, without metaphysical meditation.


We stay ourselves

It’s not even about violence, it’s just a question of relaxing by not thinking about anything. Change your vision of the game: if a girl goes to see a guy to propose to fuck, there is a very good chance that he says yes, unless she is toothless and has more mustache than the baker of my ex neighborhood, frankly, the vast majority of straight will answer by the affirmative. Except those who will shit on themselves.

So, why half of the girls would push the advances of a good guy? Stop making excuses, Neil Strauss, Gael Garcia Bernal, and Al Pacino, also are small, it does not stop them from shining. Not making up excuses is the first step in understanding how to flirt with a girl.

How to sexualize your conversations with unknown women ?

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