French Pick Up Artist

June 20th 2015,

Well. I went to the gala of the law university with Yellow Laughter and we played to Crash & Burn. Moreover, since this little coaching he is warm to approach and practice direct game (it was a trigger for him, he saw that it is easy and that it pays).

The party was pretty funny but I was not really into it because my mind is elsewhere yet (I spent four job interviews and wait for the answers to start in early July). It was a few days ago so I do not remember much except that I kissed the girl of the letters college’s BDE (student office). I remember that because she was stuck to me, so I asked her if she wanted me to kiss her, she replied “no
– But your body is so close it looks like you want me
– OK I admit.”

So kiss kiss, and then after I asked her to have sex with me, she said “yes” but she was so drunk that 1h later she kissed another dude and didn’t even remember she had said “OK FOR HAVING SEX WITH YOU“. She did not sleep with him, for that matter … she went to bed alone. The ravages of alcohol! What a waste ! The moral is: do not listen to drunk chicks. Or fuck them right away if you have fewer scruples than me (jk I’m not an angel).

I met a few fans of my blog that night. Including a girl who came talking to me in English. She fucked up an approach in addition, by ruining the conversation like a big bitch. I said I’d recognized her, I had spoken to her on FB … she said no, I was wrong, she was English and everything. Okay, so I said “OK that’s no problem.” I asked her what she wanted and then we talked a long time. After half an hour, she said, “HAHAHA I’m not English you do not recognize me you’re so bad we have already spoken on FB
– Oh yeah I said that I had recognized you
– no
– OK.
– Then go for it prove it what’s my name?
– Ah that I don’t remember
– Ah you see you’re a liar“. It just cannot remember the name of all the people who write to me on the Internet: it’s not a lack of respect, it is just humanly impossible . For them, they write to the PUA of Aix. But for me, it’s just one more person who writes to me… Finally here it was: the ravages of alcohol bis. Me too I’m a weirdo sometimes (even sober) I cannot say the opposite, then please forgive me. I’m thinking in particular about the last party with Jojo and Titi after which they decided to don’t talk to me anymore (but they never said it they said they said they have no problem but the acts talk louder than words) … but really : they put me a crazy pressure, brought me in a shitty evening and have not at all assumed ! It’s over, I won’t do demonstrations in such situations to please my fans ! I’m not a freak!

I nevertheless had a good laugh at this gala. A friend took coke, that’s a problem. I do not say “+1” because it leaves traces all the life on the heart. Finally I wouldn’t do that, but everyone does what he wants with his body. Even alcohol I do not say “+1” anymore : I made a long way when I think of it.

At the garden party before the gala itself, I laughed a lot with a friend of Yellow Laughter. A short 18 old girl who was the girlfriend of an homosexual dude who did not fuck her. I warmed her a little for fun, and YL told me that she wondered if she would make her first one-night-stand the first night with me. She decided that no when I kissed the girl of the BDE. It’s a shame to be so jealous, we could have made a threesome !!!

Otherwise, less cool: I had to go to the police. The Metallers really sucks (Padawan’s mate). He is so needy of attention he is ready to do anything so that I’m interested in him … I explain :
– For a few months, he leaves a lot of comments on my blog, I am forced to remove without answering … and the more I delete them, the more he leaves comments the more he is unhappy to be censored. These are insults, explanations of why I’m a big mentally ill person… he even wanted to advise me “a very good shrink” because he thinks he is a model of balance, etc.
– As he saw it did not reach me, he began to send messages to some chicks that are on my FB contacts. He told them shit like what I have STD or stuff like that (the last I had it was 2 years ago and I am healed). So I locked my contact list.
– Then, he made up his mind to call my mother (he had the number by Padawan) to explain that I harass one of his friends (the banker), and it bothers him because she was his girl or I dunno what. WHAT THE FUCK! Bad luck for him, he fell on the answering machine and it left a mark. I checked with the banker: she does not want him and never told anyone that I harass her (besides I had not talked to her for a while). My mom laughed when she heard the message once I have explained her.
– Now The metallers requires that I close my blog because I supposedly defame him. He even made a lawyer write me a letter (one of his friend who is specialist in totally something else) … I laughed at that! If I was a bastard I could write to the Bar for intimidation and complacency letter full of nonsense!

In order to best prepare the next crazy this guy will imagine, I collected the testimonies of seven chicks he harassed and the one of the banker who says it was shit these charges and I reunited everything in a folder. I also have the messages he sends to my friends on FB. For defamation I can fuck him when I want.

I also kept a copy of the comments in which he insulted me and called me a psychopath and everything. Public name calling is also a crime.

Unable to do anything, he gave my number to one of his friends from Paris who enjoys signaling my FB accounts (so they are blocked but it does not work because I have validated with an identity card). A big weirdo who also harassed 6ft (the metallers makes a one itis on her like on every chicks that have given him a little of attention for example they tag her on FB saying that she’s a slut who takes coke or they ring at her door at night). In short, I do not understand why Padawan leaves his buddy do that … I think it’s shameful … certainly we decided to put distance between us but that’s not a reason to become a stupid asshole!

The guy I do not know, the poet of Paris, is really the dumbest and the most full hate. He says shit and insults me, but with his phone number. I just screened that and certified that to the police. This is when the policeman wanted to call them both to calm down before possibly complain. He did it: The metallers returned his brain by victimizing … so I had to call myself to put things right. I recorded everything. It was ridiculous, he denies but any behaviorist can see that he is guilty by his way of speaking and playing with words “I do not harasses I troll ahlala you do not understand humor.” At the end I said “ohhh you’re actually envious because you’d like to fuck chicks like the banker.” He has no clitoris, but then he hung up without answering so I hit a nerve! The envy it’s when you’re not jealous of a millionaire on TV but you’re jealous of your friend who has earned a lot of money and you’ll do anything to spoil his pleasure instead of working on yourself to do the same. It’s hard to be a PUA !

In short, the policeman told me that I can sue them for malicious calls whenever I want. I keep it under wraps: I’m gonna see if they calm down now… if not I’m gonna be forced to make my move. I would take no pleasure but hey, we cannot always turn the other cheek. But I leave them a chance.

Meanwhile I read the old FB conversations with the Metallers and I kept the best extracts, especially where he says he enjoys my blog but do not assume. Where he says that the chicks are all stupid and all the guys rednecks except him. It says he is ready for anything even to betray his friends for a girl (he always try to pick up the chicks of his friends). It is full of contradictions, he changes his mind all the time, speaks badly of everyone. He is so megalomaniac that I thought he was joking: he calls himself “a genius who will save humanity with his thesis.” In seduction, he does like me, using my techniques just like the poke but never one single “thank you” … instead I have threats and insults by email. With him everything is always better elsewhere, the society is rotten, everyone is idiot (except him of course) but he still lives in Aix. He claims to be a higher intelligence, gives lessons to everyone but is unable to finish his thesis and has never measured his IQ. He says he is autistic / psycho / evil manipulator. He acknowledged that he regularly have unhealthy obsessions about girls: 4 at least have wanted to file a complaint against him … and several of his friends turned away from him “because they were crazy“. But of course when you listen, it’s always the others who have a problem, who have lost their mind. He even admits having printed naked photos that his ex had sent to him and putting it into her school: it’s nasty! Before, I trusted him because he was a friend of Padawan … but now I see through his game. With this document I can discredit him in the eyes of any judge.

Finally, he is lucky I work to become a Buddhist to calm my anxiety attacks either I would have retaliated against him a long time ago. Moreover, finally, I recommend some books to help you if you also have nerve problems. Or at least to better manage this damn thing. Here are those who have helped me most:
– CURE stress, anxiety and depression without medication or psychoanalysis by David Servan-Schreiber
– Healing your Inner Child by Moussa Nabati
– Done with anxiety attacks by Shirley Trickett
– The great epic of Uncle Scrooge
– Praise of lucidity by Ilios Kotsou
– The Monk and the Philosopher by Mathieu Ricard and Jean-François Revel
– Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson and Rick Mendius
– The strength of the emotions by Christophe André and François Lelord
– Meditate daily by Christophe André
– Small intellectual self-defense courses by Normand Baillargeon
– The Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
– Sebastien’s blog “Towards a serene life”

Several days after the gala, I received this message from a girl to whom I spoke quickly. She came to me and told me that the photographer of the party was very good (although she did not assume to have recognized me from my blog) and I answered “yes the photographer has a big tool that helps” . She did not answer, had turned on her heel and left. But a few days later I received this shit on FB:
– At the gala of my college, I met someone with extremely dirty mind. It reminded me you so much it was dirty, until someone told me that I was right and that it was you. Like what emoticon wink
– Who spilled the beans?
– A source. You know, he has many friends Yellow Laughter. I don’t regret that night, to have turned around without even apologizing because I was so moved
– He has too many friends who are girls to be honest. You regret a little either you’d not spend energy writing to me
– And without blogging, he is quite good Yellow Laugher [it’s easy to have girls who are friends when you fuck no one]. No lol. I’ll just want to tell you that you are such a monster by message. The world is too small sometimes. Good night
– This is your opinion. If I was interested I could question myself.
[And then she blocked me! They are people who too much take themselves to for center of the world!]

I saved the best for the end: I have fucked a chick of the garden party. Not the ugliest btw (she was cute but a bit short), but not the hottest either (sorry but I saw awesome beauties there).

I contacted a lot of girls after the party. Many have not answered. She, she asked me “how did you find me on FB
– Hot!
– No, but how did you get my name “I typed her name and did scroll through the list, hoping we have friends in common… but I would never tell her that. Jokes aside, she was already feverish but had a boyfriend. Therefore I invited her over two days later, one afternoon, under false pretense like would have done an AFC who assumes nothing (to speak of “anxiety attacks” because she makes some too) and after that we finally fucked once. I guess she already knew what awaited her by coming, otherwise she would not have come, she just needed an excuse to cheat on her dude. There was not much resistance during my physical escalation. She was tense but passive.

Like what, I managed to turn those fucking anxiety attacks to my advantage! Finally! Encore une victoire de Canard! I hope she does not feel too guilty because it would spoil the orgasm that my naughty tongue gave her (the relaxation has been difficult so it took a while).

One last revelation before leaving you:
– Titi, why do you or Jojo never like my articles on FB?
– Simple
Because we don’t assume being players in public
– Nevertheless it is a subject that interests people and the girls like that we try to improve
– Yeah it is a reflection we can to have
if you upload a new version of the diary of Cajun, I will like it
– Yeah but 99 % of the guys think like you, it is annoying because it doesn’t allow me to develop on the social networks
– We are still too far in the game to be able to assume
in any case, me

May the God of the Game help you to relax and live a peaceful life while banging beautiful babes!

May 23th 2015,

Something like three months ago, I started talking to this Brazilian girl on Tinder. Or to be exact, it was her who had approached me. Ah, I like South American people.

“Hi how are you ?
– Hi Justine! I’m fine and you
– Very very good!
– It’s talking to me that puts you in joy?
– Yes you give me the smile”

But, it’s a 18 years old girl and I said I wouldn’t attack too young girls anymore even if they have a nice ass. Too much pains in the ass. Nests of shit. But she was nice and friendly so I made an exception to my own rules. “Are you rather beach or pool? Coffee or chocolate? Salty or sweet? Lol
– coffee and beach and for sugar or salt its depends
– Hmm ok that’s it?
– If you do not ask me questions I will not know what to tell you
– Shy?
– I would rather say reserved
– Reserved like a table at the restaurant? it means shy at first / in public then totally hot in private ?
– Hahha you have a good sense of humor you!
– It seems dear but tell me don’t you think it would be more convenient to warm me on snap or fb? Kisses or handshake (choose one)
– I prefer kisses. Add me on Facebook”

Her FB made me hallucinate : on her profile picture she is in bed hiding her breasts with a very hefty guy like “oh yeah friends look at the handsome guy I just fucked“. This is where I saw her originates from Brazil (her parents still live there but apparently not her anymore I did not really understand what she doing in France). Well, I sent her a message on the chat because I was too hard:
“and therefore, do you prefer kisses at a specific location ps: nice your profile photo, congratulations you put your hands on a apollon
– On the mouth and neck! it’s just a buddy the guy on my profile picture
– Let’s start in the neck so !!! You are direct, is it your Brazilian side? cool for the guy, but somehow I’m not a jealous possessive-sick-person
– No. I’m just basically like that
– Good. We will have together then.
– And you talk to me a little about yourself
– OK darling, tell me what you would like to know because it’s hard to talk about yourself in the absolute (yes I have used the word hard)
– Well I have forgotten our conversation so tell me everything”?

Seriously, I didn’t stop hallucinating with her. No girl had ever told me like that yet. Okay, so I reminded her who I am to this crazy bitch:
“Okay okay’s I remember now! This is the time you invite me for a drink okay?
– Ok, tomorrow? “And then she has not answered for no apparent reason during two weeks before waking up (after I gently sent her a photo of my buttocks with written answer bitch above for making her react):
“I don’t want you write about me” I tried to negotiate a little but nothing to do. She was stubborn and not even answered anymore. So I gave up … Until the other day I moved all my FB to find girls for the night strip – card game. She was interested but was not available that day (what a surprise) so I offered her playing just together when she would be free (it costs nothing to insist a little). “When would you be free for an experience like this one
– Wednesday night, but if I play strip poker, put in your head we will not sleep together
– OK but if you want I can make you a cunnilingus anyway
– Hahah. You’re a real pervert!
– No I just give orgasms! you won’t complain!
– I’m not complaining, I just observe.
– Do you want to have one?
– Yes I always want everything. But it’s rare that a guy know how to give me pleasure with a cunni
– So do not reject me for once you could orgasm strongly
 – The only way for your I let you give me a cunnilingus is I must desire you, that I really want you, then you’d better be a good flirt
– Well you don’t say no anymore so we made a step forward
– Loool I have never said no
– So let’s get your orgasms
– Hahah we will see
– Even that after it will be you who will want more
– You are sooo confident!
– In this domain yes
– Do not be arrogant
– Lol if I really give you two orgasms what do I win ?
– To see me again
– Well
– I am available Wednesday at 19h, we’ll have a drink, then I will go at your pace with you for the strip poker
– If you want oki
– I kinda forgot the rules
– As long as you do not forget to take off your clothes it doesn’t matter
– Yes indeed, but between us you will be the first to lose you clothes”

She had a big mouth this kid, anyway. She challenged me and thought she was more intelligent than me. So I was curious to see what was behind that … without too many illusions especially after her two weeks silence. Wednesday around 5pm, I sent her a pseudo-confirmation message asking where we were going to have this drink … and no answer. So, I went back to my business. Around 8:37 p.m. I received “I cannot be there maybe later
– Ah you answer now? did you not say Wednesday 7pm?
– Yes but I had a problem
– Oki good and later tonight or tomorrow?
– I do not know
– So tomorrow
– Yes
– Ok but not the flake this time. What time?
– End of the afternoon
– Good tomorrow morning send me a message around noon to tell me at what time ?
– Okay, the truth I is I got cold feet to be honest
– Classic, you had a big mouth
– I have a big mouth but I had to see another guy, but he flaked me so I’m sorry I flaked you to be honest lol this is the Karma
– 2 guys planned the same day at the same time? or you never really planed meet up with me ?
– Yes always a Plan A and a Plan B
– Well and then why did you not meet me?
– And you were the plan B but I chickened
– Seriously I am a plan b me the best pussy licker of your life you cannot talk to me like that
– You’re too pretentious
– Non it annoys me that you don’t know how to distinguish
– Really ?
– And tomorrow how many plans? and you will get cold feet again? and why not inviting me at your place right now? “
“… it is useless to pretend you do not see the messages lol! …”
“Well tomorrow send me a text for the time and place and if you get cold feet again! shame on you!
– I was on the phone! Because I want to be quiet tomorrow night I promise no flake, but I warn you I will be shy at first
– Ok no problem it’s cute that! I am waiting for your message tomorrow as evidence of motivation !!!
– It works
– We will see”

Obviously, the next day, no message. I did not care I was at home quietly. I still sent by provocation “Why are you so much of a pussy like that?” I do not like flakes, seriously. No answer. From there, it was the beginning of a dynamic of shit. I thought I had a bad karma because there’s a fucking AFC (The metallers) who harasses me by leaving shitty comments on my blog and I meanwhile went to a party with Jojo and Titi : they told me we could make it turn into an orgy again and take a midnight swim there an there would be a good ratio M/W. It has unfortunately ended up in a weird thing in a closed band mates. And not even a pool. 4 girls, 9 guys. 3 fuckable babes. 2 couples tight-ass. 2 girls, 1 free but sick, and 1 passionate of video games who had to leave early. It frustrated me to see that there was nothing to do, and Jojo and Titi wanted to stay anyway, so I have decided not to treat a girl not fuckable as a friend (she was the coolest) which included of course to say “shut up” when she was a pain in the ass. In fact she was asking me lots of questions like eg “what do you do in life?” I have not responded because I was talking to another guy. She waited silently to ask me again. I found it a little weird. But after I understood that she had recognized me from my blog. She then spoke to me for almost 45 minutes asking me lots of questions and everything but her boyfriend (a kind of fat man of 1m90 completely drunk who had drunk a lot of pastis and mixed alcohols) thought she was going to leave him for me or I don’t know what (my reputation has preceded me – Jojo and Titi had told hima lot about me like what I am a big fucker). Must stop believing that because I talk to a girl I want to fuck her, seriously … After 1h sleeping on a chair like a rag, he approached me strangely and then lunged at me grabbing my throat without telling me anything. I hit foot on I don’t know what and I fell. It fell the head on something and I have the arm that is dolourous. Now I do again anxiety attacks because I’m too scared to have a concussion, it woke my stress of the aggression I guess. Fuxelife. Fortunately, Titi and Jojo have caught him and released me, but seriously, it sucks the alcolos bonobos like that especially as I tore my jacket, farted my glasses and I saw nothing on way home. In addition, he felt guilty afterand his girl was ashamed of him. Btw that is not why he would have sent me a message to ask for forgiveness, the asshole. I could complain if I knew it could succeed but Jojo and Titi would not have testified for me because there was a pretty girl who had friendzonned them but they hope to fuck her so they refused to take side in this story. When he threw himself on me I felt these weird heart beats as if my heart was going out of me I was more afraid of having an attack than of the asshole and it disturbed me . I had no need for that. The moral is : the dog was the friendliest and most open of the party there.

I never give up and I wanted a success so the following Sunday, I sent to Justine “then girl you want to try again to take on you or you think it will never happen?
– Why do you care so much about me?
– Because I have empathy and I find you attractive but more than 3 times it would the last so no plan bcd o IDK what
– Hahah bah when I have faith I call you
– You think I’m a dog that you can whistle?
– Yes
– Well no so either you take on you and you enjoy something out of the ordinary or you stay in your comfort zone and you stay with your little rotten Plans
– And bah .. I don’t know I’ll see
– You will not go far in life if you let it stop you
– You put too much pressure Relax yourself
– You’re the screwed up then talk to me in a good way
– When I will want to see you I will tell you
– Like you did not want to see me this week you just freaked out
– I have my desires so I’ll let you know in advance and I’ll stop torturing you and I’ll come to the date. Just relax
– You’ll see if me I come
– Yeah, if you wanna play it like that
– Me too I have my desires and the best oral sex of your life you’re going to miss it with your bullshit and you will fuck many losers !!!
– don’t get upset! and you do not scare me I have already slept with older guys than you
– And I’ll write maybe on this approach that certain chicks have
– Which approach?
– Like you: chicks prisoners of their comfort zone … you think you’re the first girl to get cold feet and tell lies? you the difference is that you’re very rude and that I must teach you respect
– I’m not rude I tell you what’s on my mind unlike other girl exactly. And my last impediment is because I had to see friends and it was important
– No you faked the last TWO times while I leave you a chance to live a great and original thing … limit I have to beg you it is weird
– But I’m not asking you to beg me!
– So my offer still stands one week after that over for you “

I know that the ultimatum is the low leverage. But I did not give a fuck so I did it anyway. To challenge the statistics: it worked !!! Yesterday morning, while I was with Virginie at the train station (she left for a week in Paris and as we arrived early we parked and she sucked and I was purposely over-hitting my pleasure with the open window to make people around hallucinate (she also asked me if I would help her discover sodomy)) Justine sent me this message “we can meet later I finish at 3pm
– Cool appointment at your place or mine?
– We’re going at my home, I have not much time so we can meet up and fuck
– It does not bother me but it surprises me coming from you who was so scared “

So she gave me her address and I checked on Google Maps (remember a lousy story like that which left me a bitter taste). I arrived at 3:05 p.m. AND … no one. I called her, but she did not answer byt wrote me tit-to-tit “I am not at home yet
– Okay
– Sorry” and there I saw a girl with sunglasses entering the building but I was too far and I just saw her back … I was not sure but it could be her according to the measurements. I sent her a text message asking if it was she, and from there, she has not responded to either the telephone or texts when I rang like crazy on her door to make her react she held on and gave no sign of life. Yet it was the real address because there was her name on the door. I just talked to her housekeeper and other people who were supposed to live there then I realized it was yet 4:15 p.m.. An hour and a quarter in the sun outside her door like a jerk, seriously. I have not become a PUA to let girl treat me like that.

I sent in bulk:
“You’re the queen of crappy plans and cold feet”
“If I were you I would answer me because I do not like being taken for a fool and suddenly you’re not going to like what I’m doing”
And then she said “You’re going to write about me?
– I pity you, there’s no goal to do that especially since YOU have revived me
– You are right
– I saw you entering in addition
– And yes
– Well open me at least, assume a little what you do
– I’m in the shower there and I have my period I thought that only after
– Open to me I just want to talk so I did not come for nothing OK “?
… no more answer …
“A little notch I will not eat you.”
“Oh, not again answer something at least”
“I’ll ring until you blow out”
“Oh, it’s amazing that assume a little it will change something”
“You’re stupider than stupidity or what? Do you find a lot of guys ready to wait 1 hour to speak to you”
“Last chance to see me in fun mode after it will piss me off and you’re not going to like what I’ll do”
“I have known a lot of stupid girls but you beat them all it’s a shame”
“Oh, and I know you do not have your period you have always been a pussy except that this time you made me move so it won’t stay without consequences”
“When I think that we could have enjoyed together and that it’s going to be war instead”
“If your teachers look at you strangely Tuesday is normal”

And there she reacts, she phoned. Outraged. “THIS IS A THREAT OR WHAT ???
– SHUT UP LITTLE SHIT THAT WAS TO MAKE YOU RESPOND I HAVE OTHER THING TO DO THAN SPENDING MY TIME & ENERGY TO PUNISH YOU
– Ah OK…
– LITTLE BITCH SO WHAT WAS THIS PLAN? YOU PLANNED ALL THE TIME TO DO NOT OPEN TO ME?
– No, I swear … I do not know what came over me … I was afraid …
– FEAR OF WHAT OF ENJOY TOO HIGH?
– No lol …
– SERIOUSLY I WOULD JUST HAVE DONE YOU THE BEST CUNNILINGUS OF YOUR LIFE
– I’m sorry, now I have to go in 1h I really can not see you but I swear I will repay you this
– SHUT UP. YOU WILL REPAY NOTHING. I AM AT 5MN IF I COME BACK DO YOU OPEN?
– Uh … I really cannot. I have a party tonight to atten and I have to leave in 1 hour but I’m still getting dressed. But I call you and I will come to you place and will make me wait 2 hours if you want.
– I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING YOU WAIT 2H ME I DON’T TAKE ANY UNHEALTHY PLEASURE TO PISS OFF PEOPLE. WE WILL GO NOWHERE LIKE THAT. IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME I NEED PROOF OF GOOD FAITH SO IF YOU DON’T OPEN TODAY IS IT’S OVER.
– Yeah … OK I’ll open. But I have only an hour.
– We can do things in an hour don’t worry. “

I went to drink tea. Seriously. Then I called for testing her and she picked up the phone with a voice of little girl “This was to see if you’d answer. I really come this time.”So I returned there. And then she opened. Fortunately, otherwise I shitted in her mailbox. Fuck you have to persevere and be understanding in life! And swallow snakes (as long as it’s not cocks it suits me) … Well, she’s pretty, it’s something. She has big breasts btw, it was not so obvious on her pictures. A little too big for my taste but well. This is also the first point I told her. Then she wore a party black dress and black underwear. I told her that she would not last long at strip poker with that, it made her laugh, she finally relaxed. She did not stop nervously storing her stuff, applying cosmetics and preparing her bag. I told her that I was going to piss her pff while she wore make-up, I touched her everywhere making her little kisses. I even spanked her after 5 minutes of conversation. I put my hand in her pussy after 7. I felt a string, she really had her periods. How could she have forgotten this detail ??? I just stroked her clit while enjoying the surrealism and the incongruity of the situation.

After that was a bit boring because I had nothing to do there. A girl who is preparing for a party and who must leave in 20 minutes, it’s just anoying. I wanted to warm her, me. I still tried a “Justine, I have something for you?
– what’s this ?
– Give me your hand you’ll see” She gave it to me and I put it on my dick saying she was responsible for it and asking her what she planned to do to catch up. She said she would call me next week when she would not have her period so we have fun together. After she began lipstick. I told her I was going to take it off. She said it was not a problem, she would put more of it. Her girlfriend that she had to join called her. I started to fuck in front of her and then I thought I was going kiss her while she phoned. I did it. Death of laughter. Sometimes I feel like more like a comedy sketch than a real pick up … very fun but perhaps less effective I should be more serious with my game. With that said, she’s a good kisser what’s cool.

After she hung up we French kissed. Finally! Then it was time for her to leave. And was still hard. So I told her to touch my dick. She did not drag her feet, the naughty. She said she was proud to have given a hard cock to me. After she touched it without my asking. She’s not a shy, she quickly vaginally sociable yeah! She was preparing joints and everything then here we finally left after three false starts. I have not fucked her …

I accompanied her to La Rotonde in my car. She confessed me that I was the first guy she met on the Internet (lie? with her nothing surprises me) and she was proud to have overcome her stress in spite of herself. Beating all these blockages, damn, I am a true benefactor Minesweeper. On the way, I told her she had some lipstick on the teeth then I did like it was because she could not stop jumping on me to kiss me. We were next to 4 riff-raff when I said it they have hallucinated hearing me it was legendary. She said she thought I was very nice and funny.

She asked if she worked well with heels or if she was ridiculous. I told her she looked like a big slut. It was somewhat true but she thought I was kidding. Good for her. I also told him that I would kidnap her and lock her in my basement but she laughs … fuck, me who wanted to make her a little scared. To say goodbye, she gave me kisses in the neck and all. Funny how the girls who go to their first parties look like big sluts because they do too much “too much”. Anyway, it was good anyway. And there was a hammock in her apartment to fuck it is probably cool.

I spoke to my father and he also agrees with me. It is around 17-18 years old they are most hot but they are a little inexperienced and therefore unconscious so pains in the ass. They do not take advantage of it enough, and neither do we. What a waste ! Well, she I do not know if I will fuck her in doggy-style like Bafétimbi Gomis making the panther when he scores a goal because she is the queen of muddles and flakes, lies, etc.

After I went swimming my km and by going out of the pool, I had her lipstick on my beard. It holds well that crap! This is waterpouffe! At the exit, I saw a bald who was using the hairdryer.

May the God of Game cleanses me!

NB: I read The Game for the 6th time now. At page 200 of the edition I have, there’s a chapter on Zan. I totally recognize myself in his style I will focus on his work. There’s also Steve P and Hypnotica giving orgasms through speech thanks to NLP who are interesting … I wonder if I should or not work on it for my anxiety attacks.

PS = I clarify something for my readers : I do not write on the blog about all the girls that I meet, kiss or bang. Sometimes they ask me to don’t write or to make them unrecognizable, and I do it because I am respectful. BUT Justine was cool not at all with me as you were able to read it thus I do not see why I would make her a favor.

On May 10, 2015,

There’s something like two weeks, I received a friendly email from a guy of Aix. A young dude, 20 years. He had a friendly face and I was in a good mood so I answered. He wanted to show me “Veecome” his website to organize parties in Aix in his apartment with strangers.

After, Jojo Hamster confessed that he and his buddy Titi (a guy from Nice with a quite gay look including an earring but hey it’s maybe fashion on the French) are members of ADS and read my blog for a long time and it would make them happy to meet me and pick up with me.

Good. So, just to please them, I organized a party on their website. I proposed an original concept: in the dark with card games where we would remove our clothes down until underwear (I had noting to lose I didn’t know this people). I thought that no girl would come and all the guys would click (and that I would cancel) … but no, it was actually fairly balanced as a ratio.

We went up to 7 chicks on the website but the day D all have flaked and we ended up 3 girls for 5 guys (including the girlfriend of the guy who contacted me – Jojo). Does it surprises you, you? Not me: they had one of the most memorable nights of their lives within range of cliques and they chikcen out huu sorry they did not come out of their comfort zone. It’s true that it’s better to watch Dancing with the stars on TV … pff … finally for those who think that I have a huge social circle with a lot of hotties, sorry to disappoint you : I do not necessarily always stay in touch with the girls, they are not always interested in this type of plan, etc. I said it and I repeat it: I sleep with normal girls, no nymphomaniacs or girls like that. And I am not a go-between to make you fuck easily my friends.

So, around 9:30pm, we decided to go picking up in the streets to find the two missing girls to have a balanced ratio. Nothing was found in the street, must say it was just me and one of the girls who approached. Jojo and Titi wanted to approach that night but in fact they did nothing, they chicken out! One of their friends, let’s call him Yellow Laughter because he looks like him (a French Youtuber) was trying a bit to approach too but well it was not enough. He is the kind of dude who always wears a suit … btw everyone is not Barney you should remain congruent with the context! In short, I must say that I went there as a soldier, “hi party strip – card game tonight do wanna join” The others wanted to lie in order to trap this girls but it’s better if they know what to expect, right? You don’t want to take them in a traitor way but rather in a doggy style way, right?

I also sent the invitation to every a little bit cute girls on my FB and I had 2 OK that turned into two flakes at the last moment. The others did not even answer, or were rude or patronized me and even insulted me. OK, people don’t know what’s good or what?! The worst it’s perhaps those who do not assume “not tonight I have another party
– Like if you’d come otherwise?
-. No, you know it” FUCKING SOCIAL PRESSURE !!! At least I was able to sort my contacts. I also had jealous boyfriends who threatened me because ohlala I proposed a little daring party to their girlfriend, what a drama!

Anyway, fuxelife. One of the guys (one of their buddies) gave up and we ended 4M for 3W when we got back home around 11pm. At first, they wanted to play “Truth or Dare” but their Dares were really kind of crap you do pumps or you dance so I cropped everyone “What are those shitty Dares? At least we Frenchkiss or something?” One of two free girls looked at me in the eye and said “kiss me handsome” : general amazement. It was so unexpected. OK, so it was getting interesting. I drooled a little, I must say that I had drink 1L of tea so I had a very lubricated mouth.

The girl in question then came sitting beside me on the couch (probably attracted by my testosterone levels continually increasing in recent weeks) so I stroked her legs or back casually and when she made a remark like “what are you doing?” I answered either “I stroke your leg” or “fuck off” or “nothing baby
– Don’t call me baby / I’m not your baby
– OK baby” And I kept doing it. I’m unpredictable and always at the limit of head slaps, it’s funny !!!

After that, the evening got a little more uninhibited. FINALLY !!! This chick was becoming increasingly hot. She kissed Titi. I’m not jealous me, every time there was a Dare, I told Yellow Laughter to kiss a girl in the neck or on the lips. I found him nice, I wanted to help him. I also wanted the girls to kiss together.

Then we played a strip – card game around 1am (the one in which all the cards are returned on the table and each player turns 2 in his/her turn and with the memory the goal is to manage to make pairs). There was a brunette with blue eyes and tanned skin (quite short, with no fat, not tiny tits and pretty lace) that I liked so she ended in underwear the first one. The other was a little more fat then she had complexes after. But it was not at all dramatic. So she didn’t want to remove her skirt. Rhalala prudish, why does she bullshit us while in fact she likes it !!!

Well fuxelife! I fingered her discreetly while two English (met on Tinder) I had invited rang downstairs. It was a little unexpected, I had no battery and it was 2am so I waited 30 minutes before going down and open to them shirtless. Yellow Laughter accompanied me in search of fresh meat, topless too. It did not really please these roast stuck then they have insulted us, I have not understand everything but I heard some “fuck yourself” in it. It kills me that these bitches do not even make the effort to insult me in French in France and do not want to comply with local customs (ie orgies in my house).

Well, so much the better in the end: the complexed told us that if we did not invite the English, she would remove her skirt. So I said that I had sent them to Hell and we ended up with 2 girls half naked. Titi had taken advantage of our absence to settle down with the girls and was kissing the complexed now who wanted my cock too so she always told me to come next to her, to give her my hand, etc. It was cool, we looked like procurers with our hens. CLASSY !!! To get busy I put my hand now ostensibly in the pants of the hottest of the two “but what are you doing?!
– What you want me to do “and her friend outraged about to screw up everything “yeah he is too much of a dog in heat” I could have put her a slap but I wanted to put her some fingers instead so I said nothing, I turned her head and gave her a kiss… she at first timidly avoided before surrendering to my perverse charm. I went to sit next to her, the other started to pout a little, so I was able to rub her pussy.

After, the chicks have just won the game (no one will say we let them win) and Jojo’s girlfriend ordered me to undress. OK. No worries, I did expect this. After it was up to the girls to remove their bras saying it was not really fair play that we have only our pants and they still have two garments. We played a “Never have I ever” after that.

Well, I took a shitty excuse to go to my bedroom and I tapped my foot against the bed. It hurt me really badly so I shouted and I lay down on the bed. The one who was complexed joined me attracted by the smell attracted on my perched dick. I told her to lie down (without pressure to do not stress her) she said “no no but what is this trap?” then “ah but it’s true that we feel good on this bed“, stretching. There, because we were very relaxed, we kissed and I put my hand into her panties and I stroked/fingered and she was REALLY VERY wet. She could fill a rain gauge.

Yellow Laughter joined us while I licked her. He sat on the bed in his underwear and did nothing. She sent him to Hell, it was legendary. A bit naughty too. But he had less game, was less sexual, always refraining his moves.

The others said they’d leave us alone, some privacy in her intimacy, well. The thing is that I rather wanted fuck the brunette with blue eyes so as to choose I skulduggery “Titi he can come, him?
– Yes, him I’m OK“. So I went to get him and I took the opportunity to take the most shy of the 2 by the hand. (She knew only one guy before me – it was a nice challenge) to warm her. I slammed the door and the shiest said “I’m just here to watch her.” I said “OK if you say so” and then I kissed her and I put my hand into her panties to caress her. Titi said “And me what do I do ? I don’t know what to do?” with a rather mythical stupid face (he is nice but his face was very drawn comic). I told him “kiss her dude.” It was obvious, right? Anyway they liked my tactless tact!.

Finally here, I licked the most feverish and she ended up naked like her friend. So, it was homogeneous. There it was OK for a 4 some. Then the door was violently opened, and Jojo and his girlfriend came in. It blocked a little mine, she wanted to stop everything especially that Yellow Laughter took this opportunity to come in again. The girls have rejected him again, poor dude. The couple it was OK if they got naked: they could stay. Especially since the girl was pretty hot and I wanted to see her naked, what excited me a little too was that she is also a member of the BDE (student affairs council) law university.

I licked my girl with two fingers in her pussy and I felt her contracting, she was about to come. It was probably a torture for her to be unable to enjoy. After, we fucked with condoms but it was so obvious she did not know what to do nor how. Then at one point I stroked the face and breasts of Jojo’s girl and I must say they are quite firm, it’s cool for him, even if his couple is in trouble. In addition, she is very nice.

Yellow Laughter cooked pastas in the kitchen during this time, we could hear the pots it was pretty disturbing. He also smoked 10 fags so much he was pissed off. And at the end of the evening he was found dying on the balcony. The poor is a virgin and wanted to lose his virginity like that. Too bad, he should be more enterprising than Titi to take his place! But then the others do not have too much experience either and have lied about their number of “conquest s” also. Jojo said 9 instead of 3 and YL 30 instead of 0. Titi said nothing. Chicks either except the shiest who said 4 instead of 1.

So now, Titi and Jojo have told me that they thought I was a charlatan but that at least they understood that what I tell on my blog is the truth. Since they call me “the legend“. It’s embarrassing. Jojo’s girlfriend said she was “skeptical” but was “pleasantly surprised” (she would be too if I fucked her – why not a threesome with her and Virginie) and Yellow Laugh told me “oh yeah since tonight at least I know that everything is possible now.” Cool, I’m officially their idol.

On the other hand, the other two chicks said they did not regret me but that we will not see again each other because they have “men in their lives.” Of course ! Basically, I a little shaken them, so prudes, it’s hard to go out of your comfort zone right. They will remember this evening as a vivid memory of their lives, but I become a monster, a leper, a guy to avoid. It’s unfair that rationalization and guilt they experience after sex! And that I also undergo so! It is inequitable and they liked it then what is the problem? It must stay a secret?

I tried to friendzone them to fuck their girlfriends and that’s how I discovered that: they do not really feel too good for me, but they are totally tight-ass and feel “dirty” or I don’t know what. A kind of buyer remorse but not really. It was not very clear, their arguments. One even said that I was a guy who thought only about sex and everything … they have not understood me at all or they are in denial. It’s hard, these girls who do not assume anything … Anyway, I’m used to being the asshole (although I’m a nice guy) but it’s annoying and disheartening when it’s too often! Because I contradict them and make them face their contradictions they say I harass them to my buddies while in fact they answer I would not feed the conversation alone. And of course the guys believe the girls or doubt because they want to fuck them (there’s always a hope). It’s easy !!! In short, I put a nuclear weapon in the hands of beginners (it was the kind to exclaim like animals when a girl undressed instead of encouraging her and making her feel comfortable by complimenting her). Yes, they will remember this 6some (although we did not really exchanged is it a 6some?) … But well… they’ll probably find reasons to say it was not thanks to me.

Band of ingrates!

After the shock they received, I even wait until the AFC will turn against me! Fortunately I do not care. I’m just happy to have lived that.

May the God of the Game put more 6somes on my way please!

PS = the highlight of the orgy is that Titi has such a big dick and such a powerful ejaculation he pierced the condoms (and the girl) !!! Video soon available on the site of Michel et Augustin Jacky et Michel (even if the two guys were not really hard all the time)! Ah yes other funny thing to finish the girl told “there are a looot of good fucks out there!!! Besides we have men we in our lives!!!” Thus it is a deviant to make love with several persons in the respect? More than to cheat on her guy? And there are a lot of good legs out there? Ah well, but it is not what I had heard until now… nevertheless with their inexperience, they are not what we could call references.

May 8th 2015,

This week I’m in Tours with my grandmother. I must explain: I had a job interview in Paris and before going back I decided to visit her. It’s not very far.

So I told myself I was going to test Tinder in a new environment. It is no big deal.

On Monday I matched with a 32 years brunette who was with a horse and a hat on her photos. IRL she is a nurse but not naked under her blouse … (it was she who told me that but in underwear that’s fine too).

Opener “You also want to ride me and blow my obstacles?”
“It will be complicated: I do not make obstacle but on the other hand I train with spurs and whip.”.
“Lol. It is me who will train you, yeah!”
“You’re talking to a girl who trains horses over 500kg! I’m not sure that you have what it takes! Lol”
“Lol! You won’t be so cocky without your clothes !!”

A girl full of humor, then. Then she told me she thought I was “presumptuous” I replied that I was “ambitious” and “I like to give orgasms with my tongue.” She said that I had at least one quality. I had passed this fucking test…

She said that I was “a crazy dude” but “fun.” I replied “the best oral sex of your life within reach of click.” This is my new motto! Afterwards, she said she was not a big fan of oral sex, I answered that it is because most guys are bad and that I would show her how one licks pussies in the South.

So, she wanted to test me again, saying that the girls always said “it was great” just to please us and protect our ego and everything. I replied that I knew how to differentiate one who simulates and one who really enjoys her race.

I tried to get invited in her house but she repelled the assault “I will not invite a stranger directly at home!”
“I will not hurt you I promise! I’ll just make you feel good!”
“It was easy”
“Yes but it is nonetheless true!”

To punish her, I told her that I was not from Tours and that I stayed only four days. Just to put a little pressure on her! And I’m not talking about beer!

“You’re not even from Tours ! Ah bravo!”
“But I still can give you orgasms”
“And do you often give orgasms to chicks you don’t know?” I told her yes and that there’s nothing wrong with all of that.

I asked her if she always wore hats. She said “I do not wear it all the time”
“Clothes neither”
“Not at all the, but in your presence I think I’ll wear some!”
“That’s it, I want to kiss you. With tongue.”
“At least the first 5 minutes. Lol. Not with the tongue it’s gross”
“Ok for 5 minutes with underwear, then we let nature take its course.”
“You look charming in photographs but in real life we ​​are often disappointed !!”
“Often but fortunately not always “

After : she wanted to know everything about me, my passions, what I do in life, if I workout or not, etc. Because to get naked in front of me she needs to know a little bit me, it seems. “It is me who will put you naked to be exact.” Ok. “I write some funny stories, I go swimming three times a week and do enjoy giving orgasms to the girls I like, it boosts me.”

After she said “good night” and that I may be in her dreams. “And for a daydream tomorrow night?”
“We’ll see this! I like the unexpected!”
“I’m the unexpected.”

Message recovery the next day (Tuesday) “Today I still want to take off your bra.”
“It will be complicated, I have no bra.”
“Your panties instead”

Damn, I was so turned on! Too bad, that night, she had to go to a party with her friends. But I was entitled to another test for the road “why me, didn’t you find anyone else?”
“Haha funny this test. Because it is paradoxically easy to procrastinate rather than enjoy. Gone as you are, you’re going to wait Friday by postponing it would be stupid.”

Yesterday (Wednesday) SHE wrote the first message (it had perhaps made her think a little what I had sent her the day before) “So what are we doing tonight?”
“I give you an orgasm?”
“I cannot guarantee but we can go for a drink!”
“After if you like me, you invite me to your house?”
“Frankly we could go to your grandmother!
“Lol me I do not mind, it’s you and her.;)”
“It will depend on your tact. 9pm?”
“No I have not eaten yet. Is there a bar next to your place?”

There was nothing close and then it was getting late so I said “it seems very complicated all those round trips”
“You want to come over directly right?
“Yes”
“Lol !! I hope you’re a normal person! Otherwise it’s okay I have my whip.”
“Ok I bring cards if you want to play a strip – card game”
“Not bad! I am quite playful! Just a quick question, how tall are you?”
“Me too I am player! I’m 1m10 or 2m50 you’ll see! You should not put yourself under stress like that!”

So I came after making pancakes to my grandmother and for myself a good infusion of lime to relax. She was about 1m70, that’s why she asked my size: she did not want a short 1m60 guy without confidence inside her uterus. Pretty, not at all like her photos but nice … it’s just another type.

She opened a bottle of rosé to disinhibit because it was “the first time” she was doing that. Yeah yeah! If that’s true it’s really sad for her. We played cards after 5 minutes of fluid conversation. I was the first naked. I let her win of course!;) She was quick to join me in my nudity anyway.

After the clothes, the one that lost could give a guarantee to another. At first she asked for a kiss on the neck … and then on the lips. Then a back massage during which I have pawed her breasts. Must say (in my defense) that she has nice tits very well proportioned. After, when I had won my turn, I took her hand and put it on my cock so she masturbates me. She said “I’m better with my mouth.” Okay. Persuasive. She asked me to sit on the couch, went on her knees and sucked me. She is a great swallower, I do not know why but it does not surprise me. I then licked her and she came as I had promised. I am a man of his word. I gave her some time to recover a little, she commented “OK yeah I have to admit it was really not bad.” Then she jumped on me by saying her ex got limp in that position but it’s her favourite. Then: missionary and lying down doggy (she had 7 cats).

After that we just discussed again, I took the opportunity to ask her first name. She told me that I was lucky to fall on a thirty nurse. Two factors affecting the openness, she said. She told me she had not fucked for months because she had an abortion, and said “thank you” because I woke her up sexually. I told her my anxiety attacks and the fact that I had been beaten in the heart by making love to her. I was scared but I knew it was probably just adrenaline or another damn hormone.

She wanted me to sleep with her, but I returned into the city center, so this morning my grandmother does not make me a scandal! Btw, it didn’t work.

Affectionate little message before going to bed: “I’ve trained you well with my whip I use for sex !!!;)”
“Wanker! You’re a small player I’m still dancing! And it happens often to me! Except that I’m half naked right now! Lol”

May the God of the Game give me a job in Tours and I fuck them all without exception (indeed, in four days I spoke with several girls … at least 3 I could fuck but I had to make a choice – or how the applicant takes the sexual power)!

All my advice to pick up on the Internet still available here.

Bye for now!

The April 18, 2015,

I did not make a joke on April 1 this year. Not in the mood. No humor. Sorry.

Primo (yeah I am big-headed I speak Latin), I’m a bit pissed off there because I approached a small English Erasmus and I came up against a wall made in bad faith and broom in the ass.

The girl warmed me on Tinder for almost a week and then asked me “I’ll see you tonight?
– OK at what time and where ?” Guess what, that very night, silence … Accustomed to this kind of situation I zapped her telling myself she just freaked out like so many others before her. But three days later she contacted me and began to flirt again. She asked my FB … but then again no answer. I a little pressured her and she ended by admitting the reason of this sudden silence: she did not read but I am necessarily a motherfucker because I write about seduction ! Long live to myths and stereotypes ! Well, I negotiated the thing and we started afresh. She flirted for a few more days and then suddenly, while it became concrete again (we talked about a real date) she planted a knife in my back “stop harassing me”and blocked me. The word is strong anyway! “Harass!” For my part I consider that harassment is to insist when the girl said no. Insisting when she continues to flirt with me seems normal to me, on the contrary. My mistake here was to give her a second chance after her first flake. Apparently when you’re a fearful person, it’s for your whole life !!! I often see girls who are hot theoretically (normal) but who as soon as it becomes concrete succumb to their anxiety because it is easier and do not live an extraordinary thing (they watch TV instead) then they rationalize no matter how and often by blaming me! But I continue to stretch out my hand because some are recoverable (I do not take myself for a hero far from that it is just my point of view and my experience).

Deuxio (secondly), I saw a friend who helped me during my depression. I know this girl since high school but I had never seen her as a sexual girl. Why ? First of all, because I’ve known her at a time when she dressed like a bag (sorry) and had a little girl hair… so not very very sexy. Then she was the girlfriend of one of my friends … so ethically untouchable.

In the meantime, the friend in question has cheated on her many times during an Erasmus in Scotland, and she said still being in love blah. The usual emotional ride of a girl victim of the idea she has about love. It does not seem to me that she had another lover since him (1 year by the way) or she has not told me in any case (with chicks, everything is possible). In short, she said that sex was not interesting because she was still in love with him (easy excuse for not having to go out of her comfort zone). I told her to fuck a dude to turn the page.

Because she helped me overcome my depression and I now have thunder erections, I decided to play with her adrenaline rate a bit. I was determined to make her feel emotions. I invited her to eat with me, nothing crazy until there, we sometimes do so. Except that when she arrived, I told her “sorry I have not taken a shower yet take the computer while waiting for me there (on the bed) during two minutes.” I do not think it surprised her because I am a guy always like that. When I’m on time it’s that I am wrong!

So I actually went to take a shower but I came out with the towel around the waist and without any clothes. I lay down next to her on the bed. After a moment she dared to ask “what are you doing?
– I am hard look at it (it was true that this situation excited me a little)”

Make-or-break.

I began to caress her arm and then her neck her legs with my fingertips … at first, she bugged: she did not move. I kissed her neck and then went back up to her mouth and she gave me her cheek. I smiled, we talked a little, her objections were always the same, “he’s an asshole but I’m still in love with him, I prefer tall men you’re not really my type, etc.” I presented my views and told her it would strengthen our friendship (that’s right – it’s always better to me to have sex with my friends like that I won’t be jealous of the guys who bang her after me on the condition to do not become addicted to her IE to have other options). And then I’m maybe not her type, I can believe it : some find me cute, some average and some even ugly (which ones are right? probably all): It is her right. But I can in any case still offer a very good roll up!

In short, after many negotiations and a foot in the door (a kiss on the mouth), she let me lick her pussy. The strip was exquisite, I admit. I am accustomed to bang chicks without really knowing the after only a few hours or even minutes of discussions … I admit it’s not bad to desire for a while although it was moderate desire . It reminded me of my early Game when I was much more invested in my interactions. Sensations that were pleasant to find!

After oral sex, she implored to take her. It’s often like that! I did and then we ate. We went back to bed a little later in the afternoon and this time she sucked me and came really strongly. Amazing how chicks who look a bit tight-ass can reveal naughty in the privacy.

For me this adventure is similar to the “naked man” by master Barney Stinson. Well, big up and homage to him when he sodomized the goat in his bathroom (when he was not able to pick up a chick or transexual)!

Tertio, I saw Red pants again. We played a strip card game and I lost. I had to lick her until orgasm. Then we has sex into 3 or 4 positions. It made me happy to see her again. She is still very hot. The same evening she flooded with texts. I think when you fuck a girl in a good way you do not need to chase her after.

Quatro, with my shrink, we move on. That’s what I’m suffering from, according to him :

– Panic Attacks: sudden terror or intense discomfort arising out of circumstances involving a vital risk. It is manifested by symptoms such as: the fear of death – the fear of going crazy – fear of losing control of myself – feelings of unreality or depersonalization – the feeling/sensations of fainting – dizziness – palpitations – tremors, muscle twitching – throttling sensations – tinnitus – sweating – a white veil before the eyes – chills or hot flashes. At least 2% of the general population suffers from this disorder.

– Agoraphobia : anxiety of being in places or situations from which escaping might be difficult (or embarrassing) or in which escape may not be easy in case of panic attack. Situations characteristics: being alone outside; being in a crowd or a queue; on a bridge or in a subway. These situations are either avoided or endured with marked distress or well with the fear of having a panic attack or requiring the presence of a companion. Personally, it’s more into “queues”.

– Generalized Anxiety : chronic anxiety manifested by continuous and excessive worry in all basic activities of life. Daily (work, family, health, finance, etc.) is the source of intense torment and of constant tensions, anxieties insurmountable. The anxious person feels constantly overwhelmed by events. She imagines disaster scenarios that could occur to her or her relatives. Widespread anxiety often goes hand in hand with intolerance of uncertainty, emotionality, irritability, constant need to do well and be reassured. The most common symptoms experienced are fatigue (sometimes exhaustion), difficulty to concentrate, muscle tension, headaches, migraines, sleeping problems or digestion … At least 10% of the general population suffer from this disorder.

– State of post-traumatic stress: the subject was exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present: 1) the person was confronted with an event during which his physical integrity or that of others could be threatened 2) the reaction of the subject to the event has involved intense fear, helplessness or horror. This disorder is a response to a situation of threatening incuding an exceptionally stressful event.

Another thing: the kind of shitty psychoanalyst I had seen before was implying that I was happy to be unhappy and I was happy to be in this situation (it’s easy to say this and makes people feel really guilty… we really wonder why we pay these people who are like graduated assholes). And besides, he said that I was unconsciously provoking my panic attacks to draw the attention of my mother and not having to go to work now that I graduated. What a bunch of crap! So I started looking for a job in Lyon or Paris (with a preference for Lyon : because city less stressful I think). And I have much less panic attacks and they are less powerful, I can handle them through breathing.

Quinto, I know that these last two adventures I have told are not really Internet-related (except that the first was booked on the net and there with my friend we talked a lot on FB ) but hey they are so exceptional that I was urged to tell them (too afraid of not living long enough to share it with you). Then for the telling of the story, in general, they are important nonetheless. Finally all that to tell you a thing I remembered recently, on day, my grandfather told me how he met my grandmother. He had a colleague at work and close friend who got married and he told him “I also want to get married now” … then the friend replied that his wife had a friend in a village of Ardèche who wanted to get married too. He gave her address and they began to write. Then they met up and it worked. What I mean by that is that it’s pretty close to contemporary Internet Dating and this is perhaps why I love it so much! I met my little Virginie on Adopt and we are very happy. In addition it is the only one I fuck without condoms! It is a very intimate and special relationship.

Finally, here we are, I spoke again about my grandfather: I really have let him go, otherwise I should not wonder why I have death in me.

May the God of the Game be with us!

March 28th 2015,

I finally tested this Fast Seduction technique that I learned in the seminar of Brad P (not Brad Pitt but an American PUA who took this pen name). Well, I had tested it before but let’s say that it is the first time it worked so well! I was sent to Hell several times in the past by trying this method but well I don’t care thus I persevered. And there, that worked thus I am very proud to share this adventure with you!!!

I put you back in the bath: I am under Zoloft (antidepressant) since a few weeks. At the beginning, it was very hard because I had read the list of the side effects and I provoked them all myself. At the beginning, just taking the pill provoked an anxiety attack (fear of poisoning – you know that I am the kind of dude who does not even take an aspirin when he has a headache). But, little by little, I began to feel better, I took only 2 or 3 quarters of Lexomil, the thorough treatment being enough… on the other hand I have to take it during at least 6 months. I returned to sport (swimming – 1km three time a week – racing breaststroke, crawl, back) even if I was persuaded at the beginning I would die during the effort. The simple advice of my shrink in Marseille: “live in mode carpe diem and accept the death”. I spend my time to sound myself because of all the strange symptoms I have, I am not still firmly convinced I have no disease, that’s the thing. Thus, seeing that I got better all the same (I still have sounds in the ear, cramps, irrational fears, dizzinesses and palpitation), my mother decided to accelerate the process and paid me a WE in a sort of SPA hotel with massages and everything so that I relax well. Yes, my mother has not only defects!

It is in this hotel that it happened. On Fridays, I admit, I just got on with some girls who worked there (like Dolteau would do). But on Saturday evening, seen that I cleared off on Sunday morning : I didn’t gave a damn of all this anymore then I risked everything (method of Brad P – 10 minutes seduction).

At the end of Saturday, I asked one of the masseuses with whom I had established all the same a good eye contact and with whom I had a discussion rather about sex (in a quite abstracted way until that moment I admit) “I really want to masturbate after that, could you recommend me a discreet place?”

I asked in a manly but not threatening way: there was all the same some sweetness in my voice. I wanted that she understands well that even if she did not help me to find a place, I was going to give a fuck somewhere anyway. She advised me ultra-clean toilet with a little smile… then I continued “you know that would make all the thing much more exciting if you came with me and watched?”. She had probably understood that for me the sex was just a hobby and that I would not judge her because she emitted some rhetoric objections but eventually came “I have never done that seriously it is crazy
– Me neither… but life is short and full of pain so let’s enjoy it”. I didn’t believe it! Sensation of irreality.

It is true that it smelt good in these toilet (that’s it the hotels dedicated to relaxation… in addition that probably changed her from the old men whom she usually sees). Thus I began to masturbate, and she was a little bit distant but I read in her eyes that she was excited ! Then I asked her if she wanted to give me a hand… and it turned into a blowjob. Well, first of all, she took it in her hand and everything then she kneeled down and gulped down it. Do not call me an asshole, at no time I forced this girl: only questions and suggestions. Her excitement came from my natural power of man’s body on her feminine body, that’s it, I speak about it very well in The inconvenient truth about gender relations. It overrode her logic.

She admitted to me that what turned her on was especially that I am a total unknown. That I am vulnerable in certain domains but so confident sexually speaking. And that she had a boyfriend but that in the bed it was a little bit the routine while I had offered her the possibility of realizing one of her fantasies: watching a guy jerking off… I was so confident over the moment that I dared to push the cork “that would be better to have a bed next time, no?
– yes, I admit. But I like to make standing love too.” Fuck, me too I love it so much !!!

Finally: I planned to take her in my room and to savor her all night long (what a romantic I am) but I was finally entitled to a standing doggy style in this very bathroom. She loved dirty talk. It was really too exciting, in addition she was far from ugly the scamp. I told her “that must be sooo good to be inside of you… I really want you right now like in a timeless bubble out of our lives…” I guess that it was the trigger. Well, that depends on girls: the important it is to be fixed quickly… either she says yes, or she says no and you move on (until the following one). You need to accept rejection as something that moves closer you to a “YES”. In any case, this is my philosophy of game. What I mean it is that if we base on the statistics and if we have let’s say 1 % of chances that it works, that does not mean that we are going to fail 99 times before succeeding, that means that on 100 tries, that is going to work on average once but maybe during one of the first tries. Then here we are, every failure, and God knows it can be violent (some were very offended by my request ie watching me masturbating) moves us closer to a “yes”. And that’s it to be a pick-up artist. Full stop. You will never fuck all the girls on Earth, you will never seduce them all, but you are rather intelligent to play on the statistics (and to increase your success rate thanks to certain things such as a mastering of your body language) and so achieve exploits that most of the guys find incredible. But that will require courage, just like catching the 151 pokemons, because you will sometimes take the rap and play along on your way: some, instead of appreciating the kind of guys you are (adventurer), will try to humble you!

Women have a power on us (just like we have on them but this is a taboo subject). And this kind of sexual exploits boosts me, so I think that the game can help me once again to beat my fears. Or at least to change my mind. I want to see again my buddies, it is already good… finally that those who did not go away during my depression. For example Hafid.

Well, next time I’ll try to ask girls if I can accompany them in toilet to watch them having a pee and I destroy their ass after in fact. (Yeah I am hot and totally disinhibited, it is maybe a side effect of Zoloft). I specify that I was kidding here, I find that a little bit glaucous to watch her have a pie.

Well other thing, a good news : Virginie started making me very good blowjobs and I showed her what 69 looks like, she loves that. As they say, all things come. I also lick her in all the positions (top, bottom, front, behind, under the shower, on the bed, standing, lied down, sat on a chair, in her university…)

In conclusion I would say that what interests me it is not so much to screw girls, I am not a mentally ill person, otherwise I would use always the same method again and again to have sex. But what interests me it is to try a lot of different things and to deeply understand women. Because I love them. I do not hate them, I do not want to take my revenge on them. I love them, that’s it, and I want to show it to them by giving them a lot of pleasure. And by making them good memories.

May the god of the Game be with you !

On 86th February 2015,

Before you read this, keep sharp objects away from you: I would like to spare my public collective suicide. I alternate, in what follows, navel gazing, vulgarity and poetry: it can make a chemical gangbang in your head and make you so much wanting to you would explode from the basis of your sex. The problem is that on one side, inspiration cannot be bought… but you have to make laugh this audience literally addicted & junkie to sex. There’s this fucking chronic which awaits me at a halt. She taunts me from afar like a dependent child who expects his small strawberry pots and is very greedy! A text on my blog is prepared with as much delicacy as a little whoopee.

So I write this after I warmed in company of young student who had just more than 30 years if we add them (with whom I spent a great evening despite what you’ll read spoke after I wanted to cram). Two girls with oriental charm. “It’s the dough I earn on my blog that interests you so much the chintok? And you want to stay how long this morning the niakoué? Move your ass to leave because last night I needed you to empty my cock but this morning you are no longer useful to me because I have to write what is urgent so do not forget to pick up your panties Petit Bateau. And by the way thank you to the food before leaving bitches, if you could also go scrubbing the toilets and vacuum three dust grains showing off your ass and whistling the Marseillaise before entering your HLM it would be perfect.” One doesn’t say that love lasts three hours and then only if they are two? Well. They not only did not help me to write when I was begging for inspiration, but the more I listened them talking more I liked oysters.

With that said, I must admit, even by myself without being disturbed, I struggled to give birth without an epidural to this text because it is far from my usual writing universe. But my goal is to modernize the language while immersing mine in the one of a young reader: it’s not easy, fucking camel ass, I must go out of my comfort zone! Rereading, I also say to myself that even Amélie Nothomb could have done better by scribbling on a toilet paper (she is very modern but writes without modernism making her responsible for Amazon deforestation hop go to jail). I assume and I still sign the text at the end, taking care to dip my pen in my first drop of semen day. Otherwise, I know myself and I’ll wait until having JP Coffe haircut (long live capillary solidarity to the king of the pain in the ass dictation too) before publishing something else on my blog. And anyway, the result will never be worse than the marriage proposal Domenech. Go soccer players, call me a misogynist asshole and pretentious … it missed me too, band of illiterate !!! Big up to the mélanchonistes nerds!

I know that lately I wrote rather pessimistic articles. At the same time, it’s hard to resist stress attacks (a thought for African countries who do not know the freedom of expression – a world where nobody can say something stupid it is a world of morons) , the stolen photos, hackers tapping, the paranoid Jews (ie a handful of assholes that do not even read me take me for an anti-Semitic), the pressure of finance and moods of the housewife under fifty rods. But hey it’s part of life all this: there are ups and downs (bra and thong) in life. So I decided to take up (or lowers depends on your point of view) the level of my blog based on gender approximations easy jokes on the physics of our last two presidents (seriously these guys bang Carla Bruni and Julie Gayet I fantasize about them from the age of 15?) and racist provocations (the Arab countries have only anecdotal problems such as buying the PSG). I says it all: I’m a motherfucker in this article so let me go ahead of the foreskin! I do not want to have to finish my damn chronic justifying on everything! Fucking lobster!

Right now, I feel rather better, thanks to the presence of my dear Virginie (my friend, my lover, my love) and the lack of Padawan and metallers of my life (they put a great atmosphere by not coming).

I recently went out with guys met on a pickup forum. We will call one Frank Ribery because of the fact that he speaks French very well like a bad translation of Reverso. Small inferiority complex in front of him, however, on learning that he had a 230 cm long cock. We could call the other Marc Lavoine since his main seduction technique is to do his “regard révolver” I talk to a girl (an animal technique that would make jealous Leo Carpaccio Di). This is a somewhat perverse Kabyle who runs a grocery store and scratches his balls looking at his client’s eyes. I do not like peopke try to steal my targets so elegantly so I decided to install a digital code on Virginie’s pussy whose key would be the end of my rod (you never know it could excite her or why not a barbed wire up). Besides speaking of you, dear love Vivie, how long am I begging you on my knees knees to make you redo the breasts ???

Well, let’s go back to Game, who had to approach the first one? Fucking Breton uneducated ass, I was appointed by the cover surprise unanimously. I hope it will not be the same when we will play to determine who will have to Frenchkiss Luc Besson. Fucking ass of leopard not flared!

Well, I saw a chick. I went faster than Speedy Gonzales (only the oldest will understand the reference but small wanker knows that the future belongs to those who get up early): Gammon wind, tie askew, glasses fogged .. I as was like is my habit: funny and vulgar rash (talkative, narcissistic, neurotic) to impress my wingmen of the day and mix my saliva with the one of this naughty origin redhead (she had a passport to reside in France). I decided to pursue my advances until she gives way but hopefully the routine I usually use on silicone young sluts worked “you love big cocks? you should find yourself a guy who has one … random example: me. ”

After a moment her burning brow like a Berlusconi night began to sweat (IDI), she asked me “What is your passion?
– The guys of the PTT bar, Benzema and Jojo my hamster
– Go to castration
– I would not be equipped to make love to you in this case
– Okay [damn I had no more motivation to seek a joke because I was falling on the stairs of the blunder so I decided to play the card of the frankness]
– Go and put your ass in front of me in a bar, it’s not every day that you meet a boy so unbalanced. I swear I have not AIDS, I even cried with joy by dancing in the kitchen when I got my results
– OK well just because you’re funny. And it’s the last holidays after I leave Aix for an internship so I do not care
– OK but I beg you to stop right away to look at me this way I have the impression of being a chicken supreme with orange.
– I warn you right now I will not sleep with you
– You never know, everything is so fast nowadays with NICT”

I played footsie at the bar. By rubbing the right place. She did the same on me. This was my first orgasm in public … her first orgasm (to exorcise there’s nothing better). I asked the tramp who had settled in front of the bar to look down, this kind of twisted was watching us by jerking off (it was a Romanian plaintive begging with his eyes just like you right now dear reader) . She had given me hungry with all this: not a sandwich homegrown but a “falafelation”. A little bonus for her, she was a believer: those who still think that the Bible is not just for stalling a TV manufactured in North Korea by children.

My two wingmen (my comrades in the fight against feminism), these repressed fags were leaving by saying “if we stay we will end up like two gays watching you having sex.” I grabbed one by the collar of his tweed jacket that suits him so badly and I requested him to move his ass and to approach a girl. He crapped on it literally. Amid these AFC I felt like Patrick Sébastien lost in a cultural show and singing “the tight little guy stuck at the bottom of this pussy” according to the principle antagonist comedy by Dany Boon … Leave if you are ready to cook pies I’ll put you in the face fucking losers! The beefier said “c’mon dude go on” but I did not want to inflict a beating last. And I thought these people were interested in football, they were almost frequentable, I am very disappointed …

So I took the girl by the hand, saying “just go to bed and take a shower before in the hope I see you going out of it before you dress up” and they went home too . She enjoyed rubbing against my tuft compressed by her suspender belt. She really liked my comic talent in bed. During the break, we watched a porn with Rocco who was licking his toes stretched range. Damn I’ll erase this passage rereading it makes me look like a big weird anyway. In short, she again suck on my little coquetry I showed her with pride. I then sodomized her with a steel gadget. We qualified our antics of a zest materialism ” your cock is a little tanned
– you haven’t the mark of the swinsuit. ”

Her brother phoned while we fucked and I took the phone because she was handcuffed. He asked what is abortion for a dissertation, I guess. I said “that’s what your parents regret not having done when there was still time.” I am a real motherfucker, I hope he did not want to cut his dick with his zapper television after that and even when it helped a bit. No seriously, to be forgiven I will offer him a useful gift: Prozac. She, the naughty redhead, has not liked me too trolling her brother this way knowing that she was herself to her 6th yoga exercise and 3rd Prozac of the day. She left with the eyes as keen as Doherty at the exit of a custody (I have much affection for him because he is a former drug addict brother to the notorious perversity). I said I was desperate to apologize even plunge my tongue in a titanium condom. Seriously, her wispy look might make me hard just by crossing it in the the tail of the ANPE. Beautiful and not even stupid: I was happy not to keep my miasma for me even if she has left a little abruptly.

After she left, I turned off the camera I left running to my room. This is the Youporn & Michel d’Aix en Provence. I returned picking up because it was not late and came across an ultra-naughty chick. When you picked up so cold woman you can do Pick-Up at the North Pole. I take my ticket? No seriously it made me disgusted.

Well I went to bed naked as a Chernobyl beach and I dreamed that I was eating with Franky Ribery. The guy of the forum, not the real footballer. He reminded me Padawan in the sense that he was a fan of organic food. I’d eat well with complete Quinoa rice, me, his shitty principles. So I was eating at a vegetarian restaurant in front of the other fag then he started kissing me, his little goat was able to thrill the parts of my body until that night completely unsuspected. He insisted licking my toes in a public place, too. What a strange and penetrating dream. It was a very stormy passion. It made me almost as excited as having my first homosexual experience with our national poet Eric Zemmour or take classes of handling crowds with Alain Pipeau Soral at an orgy with his 700 conquests. Know that I am really desperate to go on the show of a certain shortsighted homosexual and communist leader (in the world of showbiz after 10pm we do not order just sushis so I can try my luck). I should point out though that I am not more gay than Teddy Rhiner normally, I just do it for cash.

The next day when I walked into town, I saw an ex,(we share a past oral sex) rich suffering from an huge intellectual complex. The poor took good 20 kilos and as much of cocaine since the last time I saw her. We used to fuck in front of the DVD of Amelie Poulain with condoms YSL, while receiving Bordeaux intravenously. Contact violent wet body, our tongues connected … short preliminary bourgeois type before coitus tendency proletarian. After she fell asleep like a baby of 50 kilos for 1m65. Sometimes we fought then drank discord whiskey before welcoming the rise in us of the orgasmic reconciliation. With her bank account (or rather the one of her parents) we enjoyed complete freedom with all the consequences that it may lead: I should marry her (her or murder her father and marry her mother), I’would not have had to work in my life. But her pussy was wet with alcohol and after a cunnilingus I was still drunk. Too bad because I was feeling good in her frail arms of supermodel anorexic. I look like a homosexual when I write it a bit but it’s like that.

We all the same married in Vegas with this crazy who had not warned her parents we were leaving (it was Bonnie and Clyde but it saved us from a ritual damn religious marriage / divorce / carnage / suicide) . “Are you willing to take to your sexual partner in orgies for wife, miss XXXX?
– Yes
– You can make the exchange of XXL condom latex free” (I wear a vigorous sex, 40cm a piece of choice you can confess you dream the night of my elegant penis little slut reader) I’m a guy very mobilized for the cause of big dicks, I even took actions in Durex. WHAT MY TEXT IS TOO MUCH ???! You do not like the hexagonal red white blue humor, Marine? Oh damn I love these police jokes.

In short my relationship with her had to remain secret (between her, me and her little sister who should not open the door nor mouth). Go do not throw me the stone … what at 5 year old you never wanted to suck something? Remember how you felt when your parents allowed you to take a hand in the cage of the zoo panda … well here is the same.

Having seen her again had moved me so I went to bed early with chamomile (also common syndrome among employees of La Poste but them it is rather when they work) like my grandmother who loves Sarkozy and who has baladuriens breasts! I dreamed last night that Emmanuelle Béart had invited me staying home because I was in the street. She hid condoms in her lips. But like in Toy Boy I cheated on her once installed in her luxurious Paris apartment because she had a furious tend to be more beautiful when I’m in trouble. Then they all tend to resemble to those they were the day before, it is a problem for guys like me for who infidelity rooted in their genetic heritage (I was bitten by a genetically modified gorilla). The alarm clock rang, I had to go to the shrink.

So although my therapist did not want me to take meds and tried to dissuade me, saying that it gave cancer and Alzheimer’s, I decided to go to a “psychiatrist” this time. Like De Niro in Analyze This, there’s no shame. To get there I asked my way to a cop who embodied the authority about as well as I embody humility.

The doctor is a little pedantic and fat dude, exercising for $75 / 20 minutes in a street not far from the nightclub where I banged chicks against the fountain located behind the above-cited nightclub.

I’ll not lie to you, I felt on a psychoanalyst. Direct He asked me how it was going with my mother? “You will find the answer on dequoijememletamerelapute.com and cateregardepasconnard.com”

When he asked me € 75 for half an hour, I had the impression of having participated in a dinner where the stupid guest was the patient. Really felt like the Nabila of psychiatry. ME I WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM BECAUSE WHEN I WAS A KID I LISTENED WISELY MY FATHER CALLING MY MOTHER WHORE AND BITCH ???!

After the first session, he said nothing, given nothing, he only said “see you in three weeks.” Three weeks later, he told me to take Valium morning noon and night just to be well high. Three weeks later, he told me he thought I was going very badly, that my case was serious, I needed a strong thing to get out of my depression but he still did not know what then I had to come back in three weeks. I almost killed him, ransack his waiting room and set fire to hide my tracks.

So know that I fuck the shrinks practicing psychoanalysis and do not reprove me even if I have to get it the peephole of Freudian bourgeoisie. This stuff is really crap. The goal is not even to heal. Fucking Freudian kamikazes! At the middle of an analysis you make yourself hara-kiri, it is not possible otherwise! I’m sure the tubes and envious rejoice that I am sick! It’s ridiculous !

My conclusion is that most psychologists are crazier than their patients. And I have a problem of control / anger. I must go hugging my cat and eating chocolate to overcome this because I feel murder desires. 3 sessions of € 75 for remarks that do not advance me. FUCK !

The passage in bold is the only part of the text that is not totally a joke huh I am a fake megalomaniac, a fake narcissistic and I did not already have a big head at 14 years … neurologically I goes well I’m just trying to lighten the mood with this text. That’s it for the news so I will try to return to the therapist who treated me well during my first depression even though it is farther (Marseille) it’s half the price and he is twice more famous. And he has not already proved he was good not like this loser who thinks he’s a god damn because he gave courses at the Faculty of Medicine (poor students).

Well I stop to talking about it because Ihave phosphenes and the heart that beat hard in my ears. Great birthday present he given me this motherfucker, fortunately Virginie came to see me after. Well. I rather want to throw my ironical venom on my motherfucker brother.

So thank you to my brother for showing me everything I should not do in life. The crap he does in his life is the same level that sending Claude Gueant to a concert of Diam’s the hottie. Smiling did not happen to him since the age of 8. 400 cans of beer under lamp per day that’s a lot anyway! Besides, he dares not without audacity driving by being drunk! He may fall like shit fom his scooter, like Depardieu, they have in common btw that they are helped by their obesity. It hangs in his face like a dry mucus … but he should not expect me to pay a € 5,000 bribe to leave the cabin once the cops will look at how he drives. Personally, if I go to jail one day, it’s because it’s illegal to have such a sex appeal.

I came out picking up chicks after going to the shrink: I wanted to enjoy another courtesan. I felt on a girl who did not want me. But I thought she wanted to play: when I approached her, she pushed me and shouted like I was an assassin. I lost my means like Jacques Attali stammering a brilliant theory left. I was shaking like the hands of Jacques Chirac sweetening strawberries without someone coming checking if they are outdated or not so I pulled out the spoon oyster and poker that I always carry with me to silence her. It was fortunate: my cellar was hopelessly empty, I had noone to hide in it for a while. Traces of my DNA will be found in her hair. Hands tied, she won’t be able to unmake up in addition, she will remain beautiful like that.

Know that I am against this shameless world where some lax husbands still allow their wives to leave exposed ankles in the street (the cellars then what is it for ???). What the fuck those tits apparent in movies, seriously ??? They have in addition civil rights that allow them to sleep with nicer guys, more muscular, richer … and leave us when we still love them! Let’s all wear the veil like in the country were heads fall (some not for aesthetic reasons but for religious) and live in a happy world as a family reunion at my aunt’s …

The last two paragraphs were ironic (Iro who is that?), I hope that you understood.

The time she wakes up, what to do tonight? For the trifle only counting on my left hand? OH NO ! I continued my NPU. This is where I met the two girls I mentioned at the beginning of the article. As pickup technique I invited them to come watching an interview of Mélanchon who thought as usual being in a meeting with me. Big thunderbolt: I immediately thought of engaging both domestic toothless (soon they will know the ideal temperature of my bubble baths ahlala I like the small staff and I’m talking about women of course). Fairly important detail to be noticed, one had huge tits (I had never met an Asian hot like that but apparently it exists) a question nagging me: what was she going to do with all that milk? In short, my little spring rolls I’ve had all the sauces (that’s more than two hours that I have acquired them in a trendy restaurant in the middle of a crowd of mojitos).

I was still tired at 4am, and they would not stop fucking so I pulled out my tranquilizer gun and I put the highest dose (the one I use to get rid of polar bears and elephants Africa who sometimes cross my apartment). I hope they will not mind I stopped them in a full rise of oestrogene it is a blow to become crazy but I’m already so I don’t give a shit! (I have a gastro that’s why I’m in a bad mood). My adrenaline is finally back down playing crosswords on the ground floor at 5am and I could sleep with moist eyes that reviews the unfortunate love of his life and she is not even unhappy without him, he lowers his head and sees that she is expecting a baby. Another has banged her better than him in the soiled sheets of their past love. Note to myself: I must compare my cuckold’s horns with those of my ex!

I ended up releasing the one who lived in my basement because she almost knocked down. It would not have been a bad thing (but that does not happen) : my child would have spent the ENA, Science Po and Normale Sup. I would have signed autographs instead of his dangerous liaisons books. And when he had landed at a new school, his father would have already slept with at least one student and his mother, it is important!

For the rest, I’ll meet you in a club of orgies precisely located between Lille and Marseille (a hint: the one I was expelled for a month for not coupled myself one night). Mind you I do not spend my copyright windfall nights in debauchery, not more than 7 times a week anyway. They distribute condoms like Tagada strawberries. It is a real butcher there, clay pigeon shooting … there is a theme soon I guess: swingers brutal practices animal midst broadcast on Arte. That branch you or you find that it is a crime against humanity television?

I would like to open one later (a swingers clubs). I’d be attendant GHB cocktail and my body would also permanently oiled like a frigid stripper in a club Besançon. Loana Bottle images when she was foraging in a famous pool displayed on screen. There would be almost French dancers to energize average French. There would also be a red curtain, Skins condoms and 235H of shows without intermissions including those devoted to female orgasms.

In short it seems that when you have no talent you make yourself censored then censor me, biatches! Nothing is more difficult than when you have a little talent and culture. I would like to seriously boost myself and not having to suck all the Canal+ gays doing nasty chronic (that makes me laugh but just a little and it would make me outright blubbering like haikus of Belgian origin if it was talking about me) ! Hopefully this text has anesthetized all my readers. Surgeons can operate your brain atrophied now! Thank God or Allah that I write instead of talking to you because otherwise I would splutter in your mouth on subjects that are shit! Well I’m leaving I have to show compassion for a granny who has not had relations since 1908. AND YOU WHAT IS YOUR GOOD ACTION TODAY?

Damn I am furious: I learned that in Pigale we won’t even be allowed anymoreto fuck prostitutes soon (The Girl of the Body Painting works there now) … so I’m desperate to succeed .. . even curling overdose viagra with NKM. Yes yes, different political race can reproduce, like assorted sauces in the middle of the same salad. Word of a former 1st class who retaliates by shooting everything that moves, do not move and has never moved! So here Nadine Morano, this text is a kind of long text message that I am sending you (I hope you appreciate the honor because most of my SMS are studied in Normale Sup). I also like Martine Aubry swollen ankle. Serious Rama Yade, I have difficulties to contain this sexual tension between us. Even you, the reactionary psycho able to put 50 million French furious, I want to fuck you against promotion sofa but then you will need a denture which will not help your already faulty diction. I fantasize finally a first lady of France summoned me to the Elysee to lacerate my back with blows of stilettos, I chews her breasts like a baby with eyes of crazy and then she throws me naked in her full of vodka pool and I expiate my sins until morning (the jerk of a woman’s right excites me more than a lick of Ségolène Royal). I will draw as a child on the hairs of her mustache unless she plucks before. Go, make a little effort, I will even accept to rub against a chest of drawers Louis XV if it carries lipstick and heels 15cm. The only one I could not fuck is Christiane Taubira. Sorry. There’s nothing personal in there but hey she always has fucking bad laws ideas and I think even if I am apolitical I can see that there is something wrong with her.

In summary: I accept any kind of job in which one does not dare to fire me for sexual harassment with my secretary and which includs a golden parachute: overseeing few suicides at France Telecom, organizing Betancourt shenanigans, escort-boy for famous girls with €25,000 extension by extraordinary orgasm, in other words any career invented by a drunk guy full of ecstasy could suit me … I figured resigned: in life is either success or morality! The key for me is to socialize the High order to make orgies with them in hotels (especially with a friend who was almost president but who governed only his cock and to whom I confess I would put one hand in the ass).

I’m like Vincent Cassel: I look good only when I am surrounded by atomic bombs. Damn I want to re-watch the teaser of A moment of madness I everytime I see pictures of Lola Le Lann (a beautiful woman, she just plays good even without acting class). Know that you’re an asshole like me! Bah, I forgive you: a star is very boring, I know it because I have already banged one. NO I WON’T TALK ABOUT IT! Girls ? I do not know this stuff me !!! Well, I confess I climbed over the railing to join Kate Winslet in Titanic and I pushed her in the fleet. No but I do not want to complex the influent people of this world with my phosphorescent cock. One tip, if you are hot and ill: take my cock like a antibiotic morning, noon and night. Accuracy: the same mechanism is at work on the atomic bombs who become ugly when you drank too much.

Anyway, I know I have an annoying physical (like a sports teacher in a provincial-looking gym) but PLZ do not put me in jail, my dear Manuel Valls brushing-ambitious know that you have scratched the floor Francois Hollande with your long vampire teeth.

I am writing bad but it is sincere. Everything I have said in this text is true: I swear on the head of Cyril Hanouna! As true as Bogdanov brothers can scratch their balls with their chin. I thank all the people I’m talking about on my blog to don’t make me trial for publishing it. The trial would be shipped anyway. I would do a cunnilingus to the judge. “According to the testimony of my pussy you lick too good to go to jail sucking cocks so you will be condemned to go to a women’s prison.” Even the guards are teasing! Would I be able to choose between 320 dykes aligned like socialists during a primary? Knowing that they would die of envy groping my chest desert as a Japanese island? A delegation of experts could not decide the question if I was able to string them all by myself or not… they concluded that I should be drunk 7/24 to say “yes” to everyone.

I’m leaving, I’ll go writing my future best-seller on cunnilingus because summer is coming soon and I need money: I greatly desire to hang festively during holidays . Also look forward to waddle like Nicolas Dolteau between two wrong notes during the music festival.

Yes, I made a useless article and if you are happy with that, fuck you. Those who do not like me won’t blame me if I come back in a week, it depends on my finances and my libido.

Signed: French billionaire playboy’s imagination.

May the God of the Game blow you!