French Pick Up Artist

Why do you need me as dating coach ?

The study of evolutionary psychology shows us that competition is the foundation of our sexual life. For example, it is enough to show attractive naked pics to one member of the couple so that the assessment of the partner decrease, and at any age.

In fact, the aim of human genetics is twofold: to ensure its own success and prohibit the success of the others. This is why some Harems had more than 10,000 women, much more than what is possible for a prince to fertilize (the record is 888). Basically, these women were just forbidden to other men. WE THUS UNDERSTAND WHY OUR ELITES DEDICATE ENORMOUS ENERGY TODAY TO TRY TO IMPOSE TO OTHERS AN EXTREMELY STRICT SEXUAL MORALITY. This is pure and simple manipulation to castrate us and most people who are formatted are happy to fall into the trap. If we can predict pretty much the number of burglaries each year (for example), it is powerful, but it mostly means that our freedom does not really exist (neither individual nor collective ). I understand that you may have trouble digesting it, this is why my blog has way more success with student in psychology who already know it all and therefore have less trouble digesting it.

Reason n°1 why you need me : because someone who has said fuck off to the social pressure and who slept with enough women to don’t care about competition is the only profile of coach who can give you sincere and effective seduction lessons… without hiding anything. In fact, most general dating sites I have visited so far give enough to men who visit them for teasing them and making them buy products but never enough so they can become really dangerous and compete.

Lambda men make a distinction between women with whom they would like to have an affair (whores) and those with whom they would like to stay (Madonna). But it’s bullshit: it is easy to demonstrate that Madonna women ask for more money and are often less attractive. The woman who wants to get the greatest success in seduction will have to carefully positioning BETWEEN these two extremes. Well, as always, it depends on the context of what men and women look for and especially the appearance of the woman. EH YES, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ARE OFTEN LESS PAIN IN THE ASS (they have less “things to prove (to themselves)”). And so, it bothers all the other women…

You should know that the behavior of lovers oscillates like the moon and is unpredictable as the weather. A woman you met at a time of her life will not necessarily have the same sexual attitude than this same woman two years later. However, a rule has emerged : The most confident men and women turn to more frivolous strategies than the others… who look for long-term commitment. The most beautiful women would be the easiest too! So what? What the others will try to do ? Paralyzing them of course so they can do well with men.

Indeed, women find it easier to denigrate them (especially the pretty and free ones), and denigrate the guys who reflect on this fucking social pressure, rather than questioning, acting and taking advantage of the situation that is to say seduce genes they desire.

Then, just a few women in positions of leading media propagate the concept of inner beauty and it grows at a larger scale, thereby guiltying men for being attracted to beautiful women. Another huge propaganda : feminine values. Women would all by default have to be considered as sweet, loving, non-aggressive and men as louts who love war, kill, rape and lack of sensitivity in general. Where from the “immaturity of the 50 year old man who marries a younger girl”. He just follows, however, his genetic programming: it has been proven that women seek for older husbands, more stable, with more resources … which is quite the tastes of men who want younger women, more beautiful, more fertile. But from their part, during their fertile periods, women will chase lovers and confess more fantasies about a sexual partner other than the official husband (but they will favor their husbands during infertility) . Women and men it’s just a little the same thing but it is important to do not say it. Shit!

Edouard Servan-Schreiber studied the case of spotted hyenas, absolute matriarchal society in which the females are leagued to dominate males. It’s a little bit what American feminists did: their extremism has allowed them to become one of the most powerful lobbies. Their successes are impressive: they got the right to ask in total impunity castration of men, claiming their death or insulting them the way they want, while the slightest criticism from a man on a woman has to be sentenced as sexism. But the woman does not have the freedom of the female hyena about the baby, the situation is thus not reproducible and it has also been proven that most of the figures and arguments femistats were fake and cheated. However, the society has put a step into this logic and we are up to a disaster! Except that it is not politically correct to say the truth… To illustrate, because of the new social grants given to mothers: some feminists believe the man is now totally useless. So what? It is apparently politically correct to say that…

How hard feminists could they marry and pass on their genes (while keeping their power) if other women accept these biological and natural conditions they are fighting? It is thus observed that many of the more convinced feminists are alone, unhappy and frustrated even though women with the highest social success affirm not being feminists anymore. I’ll not say that feminist are badly fucked cunts but if we talk so much about sex and try at the same time to make it all taboo, it’s precisely because the topic is fascinating. Important detail: almost all women who discover evopsy theories immediately recognize the validity for almost all other women but not for them, for sure! It is the need of difference: how else convincing a man to remain faithful if she is like the others?

Reason n°2 why you need me: because women are in a difficult situation and give you bad advice. Sorry, but if you want to become a really attractive man, you cannot listen to their advice because it is not their interest to give you good ones. Moreover, I wonder if they are always aware of what they are programmed to love. It would be necessary to burn all those shitty women’s magazines and send them on my blog to wake them up !!! Oh, I’m a freak for saying that! But it annoys me when, for example, we take a beautiful girl together with Padawan, she leaves my place with stars in the eyes, then she tells it to her friends who then make her feel guilty until making her regret. It shows that these girls make the others feel guilty because themselves are guilty or frustrated ’cause they can’t do it (or rather do not dare). In the intelligencia of our evolved societies, a woman thinks of depreciating every time she has a new lover, but well she is not  forced to claim it out loud, and the bad fucks are not awesome either. In brief, they can say what they want, she is the only one who knows what actually excited her and what she will always remember (while the others probably watched TV during this time).

Finally, if men and women do not always seem made to make each other happy, we can at least consider that they are both very well equipped to exploit each other. No one has a definitive advantage over the other: feminist and chauvinist extremists are sent back-to-back, losers. The second key point is the relative simplicity of the rules: some obvious objectives (pass on the best genes) and some environmental variables are enough to determine an infinite number of attitudes and behaviors. We can compare evopsy and Newtonian mechanics in which simple mathematical equations explain complex movements. There is no need to use complicated concepts such as the image of the father or internal conflicts to understand and predict the behavior of the childless woman approaching menopause, just like the one of 50 years old man who will divorce and rebuild a new family with a wife who could be his daughter. Yet men and women are struggling to intellectualize the fact that we do not seek the same thing in the other. Basically, the beauty of a woman is the power of a man (which includes alphaness in the strict sense but also money and social status, etc.) Then, if a woman whose instinct in not made for today’s society is unable to recognize an alpha when she sees one, it is a serious problem but for her (it is also part of the hiring test). Or when a girl is under our charm but does fuss and wants us to pray her and give her good reasons to assume her attraction, it is clear that she wants to be sure that we are not a sex-starved and that we really like HER for what she is … but if all this comedy lasts too long and she blackmails with shit, she must be put in the fridge (freeze out: losing interest in her for example do not answering to her last text message if it is a shit and expecting her to do better and realize how much she is interested) a moment to remind her that she needs the alpha male too, if she does not want to end up with a loser. Because yeah, in fact, there’s more cute chicks like her out there than real alpha increasing in power.

 

Who am I to claim I can give you good advice?

How could I have the audacity to write a series of articles about seduction (I want to make an ebook with all of them for an easy reading (which I intend to call The Book Of Personal Development Which Will Kick Your Ass, second degree humour always)) ? And how can I hope that you take me seriously and that you will take time to read me?

Find out the first article HERE then you can click on NEXT at the end of the page.

There are more than five years now, I landed in the community of seduction and I discovered the different theories, the different schools… all American, of course. I devoured everything I could find about seduction: it is a subject that fascinates me. I was completely lost because of this mass of information. When I think again about those years, I’m scared to see how much I needed retrospect. If only someone had put me a blog like Diary in my hands… I would have saved a lot of time and energy… and money! I’m not really modest in this paragraph, but at the same time this is the goal I set myself at the start (not to not be modest, but to be sincere, coherent and comprehensive).

We would be tempted to think that all the universities strive to provide, through their education, people to feed one of the most basic needs of the world? I’m talking about one of our physiological needs, the need at the base of the pyramid of Maslow : sexual satisfaction (Maslow identified five broad categories of needs and considers that a man can move on to a higher need only when the need at the immediately lower level is satisfied.). Well! If there is one practical and sensible class like that in one university, it has yet escaped my investigations.

A survey by the University of Chicago that lasted over 2 years revealed that health is the main concern of men. Then what interests them most is their relationships with others: how to understand and get along with them, gain their sympathy, to seduce and influence them. And it is precisely about all this that I speak so you should assume to read it, because I just showed you that it is a NORMAL concern. Do not listen to those who try to take you down and show them that YOU you think by yourself: for example, liking my FB page is sending a positive message to the whole castrating society.

I found out that the results increase when you find what works FOR YOU. The results are even increasing so much, that while having a full-time job in finance, I can find without problem on average 4 new lovers per month (although this is not a race nor an end in itself for a balanced guy). For comparison, the most famous coaches in America can do about 9 per months, but they do it all day long. Of course here we do not consider everything like libertine clubs and everything, we really talk about the women met in “everyday” life. This means that once you have found a good method, the only factor that determines the magnitude of the results, is the time invested in the seduction “on the ground”.

So I decided to make my contribution to this majestic edifice that is the international community of the seduction, by providing a comprehensive and rational blog that lists what actually works (tested and approved in France) and zap all the crap we are trying to sell you on blogs run by guys actually half virgins. It will thus help “normal” people (teenagers and adults) to flourish in private. I researched a lot throughout my apprenticeship. This is what allows me to offer you the best, no frills (I’m repeating myself but this is important: it will make you save a lot of time and money since you do not waste it with useless stuff).

I therefore propose a rational, practical handbook easily and immediately applicable. It was not “written” in the usual sense. It has evolved. It has developed and grown through all the people I’ve coached and all the girls I slept with (and those with whom I failed). The principles are not just theories or assumptions. They produce immediate results, almost magical. Incredible as it may seem, I have seen many lives transformed by their application. The sole purpose of this blog is to help you to highlight, develop and make the most of the many powers that lie dormant in all of us (if possible in a positive way).

You‘ll benefit from my extensive research, my outspokenness and my experience of PUA and coach on the field. If after reading my work on seduction, you do not feel better equipped, so I would admit that my work is, in your case, a failure. But I don’t think so. Well, the ultimate goal of education is not knowledge but action…. So, action!

Let’s go !

 

To get the maximum benefit from my work, you need :

1) The deep and overwhelming desire to learn more, you want to learn… Imagine the happiest life you want to live, especially with women, applying these tips in life. Repeat to yourself “my happiness, my success, my reputation depends largely on the talent that I could deploy in my relationships with my peers.”

2) To start by quickly read each book to take a comprehensive view. Then read each book twice, unless you read just to have fun. If you really want to know how to act effectively with women, then go back and read again each book carefully. Thus you will save time, and in the end, get good results quickly. Frequently stop and think about what you just read and see how you can apply the different principles. Tick, underline or highlight the advice you intend to use: a printed and annotated book is revised much more easily and quickly.

3) To remember that it is only by keeping in mind the principles of seduction that you will come to apply them automatically and effortlessly, to make it your second nature. You must carefully study and revise regularly.

4) To learn, to be active and not passive. It is by putting a lot in something than we become better. To understand these principles, make use of them, apply them whenever the opportunity appears. Prepare a new rule of life: otherwise if once you are in a bad mood or anything, you would lose your good habits. It will take time and perseverance, but it’s worth it, trust me. When you stand in front of a particular problem, do not get upset, this is counterproductive. Rather search in my work and you’ll find the answer. To be more motivated, you must have invested in ebooks. Buying (not hacking) is an important condition to make your personal development very effective. And I know something because I’ve been there.

The act of paying is part of the specific approach to take charge. It is positioned in a personal desire to change that is to say, to change things FOR you and BY yourself. This sense of responsibility is a real act of independence and founder of a process of investment and motivation, even if the steps are not necessarily identified in the first place. (Source : CIGAP)

5) Check every month the progress you make. Ask yourself what mistakes you made, what progress you made, what lessons you learned, etc.

MY OBJECTIVE IS TO HELP YOU TO BECOME A PROPER MAN, AT EASE WITH HIMSELF AND TO GIVE YOU ALL THE KEYS TO BECOME AN ARTIST OF THE SEDUCTION.

My goal is to teach you how to:
– Welcome new thoughts, new desires, new perspectives;
– Optimize your physical appearance;
– Enhance your personality;
– Be able to quickly attract lovers or girlfriends;
– Understand women and give them a lot of fun;
– Make yourself be more appreciated in all areas;
– Be able to create a powerful sexual aura;
– Expand your influence over others, your well-being;
– Develop your speaking skills, and communication and persuasion;
– Get a better idea of what is called “the game”;
– Have charm, charisma, and how to use it;
– Disassociate alcohol & pickup, improve your lifestyle in general and become more demanding;
– Understand and handle the typical reactions of women in front of a sexual guy, the shit tests;
– Be used to… and take advantage… of the contradictions of babes … (example: those who want to meet guys (officially “people”) to feed their needs of women (officially “just to spend the time because a friend forced me”).
– Appear much in the eyes of others, as a challenging alpha and not as a needy.

Here’s my training plan at the present time :

The (inconvenient) truth about gender relations , this is my ebook that complements this series of articles. Indeed, having the knowledge and the attitude of an alpha that I have teached you and the mindset and Mojo given by this book, you can easily be twice more successful than before. This is a simplified view of the Game that works: I even fuckclosed until 5 girls in one week with (and two threesomes in a weekend and an open relationship which is becoming more serious with a pretty girl that I like very much). And all this without headache!

How to sublimate your body language, this is my ebook a little wiser but still relevant that complements everything we saw about “how to look like an alpha and deeply become one step by step. “There are many other topics that I fully intend to develop into ebooks as frank, clear, accurate, concise and effective as what I try to do with my blog: sexy humor, evolutionary psychology , interpersonal communication with women, flirting on the Internet, how to make love way better than average guys, etc. Moreover, subscribe to my newsletter if you want to be kept abreast of my news!

Diary of a French PUA makes you spend a year of pickup on the field with me. Maybe I’ll write the continuation and I do not lose hope of continually improve my knowledge and mastery of the game… but this ebook is already really full and itself raises most of the questions you can ask yourself on your field.

My other ebooks like Ne Me Lis Pas that will make you realize that the people who inhabit the Earth are not all very smart. So therefore that girls are not always right on the pretext that they are girls: there also are stupid ones just like for guys. Une histoire de Cyprine also discusses the problems of society related to the sexuality of each sex.

I intend to translate some Ross Jeffries, Cajun and the Game Accelerator to give you more points of view. These authors are American very high level PUA who may not have quite the same vision than me and are very interesting. Just for our own culture of the Game, I have to do these translations.

I do not do all this for the money (luckily for me LOL) or recognition (I even take it on the chin more often), but you do realize that this is a huge personal investment. So I do not lose my motivation and everything, knowing that most guys (because of their genetic programming) will not share the URL of my blog with their friends (fear of competition, ego that says they must guess everything alone and owe nothing to anyone, etc.) and will never buy anything here, be aware that every time you offer to yourself one of my ebooks… not only you give yourself the tools to succeed more quickly but beyond the fact of buying one of my books, you help me manage the whole blog (and it’s not because others are fucking stingy who enjoy the work of others but never reciprocate that you need to do the same: I hope I have given you the will to think by yourself and so to see what is the interest of everyone). I am not talking about girls, but it is obvious that in some of my books they would learn more about men they want to seduce than they would find in all those fucking women’s magazines – that stuff fill up their skulls with bullshit (in good faith maybe even if I still think that they voluntary make fun of them). In short, all that is way more shocking when you see videos like Norman (who would be hung high and short if the lack of manhood and the fact of being uninteresting were punished by law) are viral and he fucks us and earns 8000 € per month and has become a model and a symbol of success thanks to the people flock. In other words, you are free to do as you want but if you want to help me continue the fight for our manhood, this is the page with my products.

 

When you will have done my training course :

It would be pointless to list all the scenarios that can occur with women: you are now imbued with the right mindset and react naturally without much thought in all situations… Above all, avoid regrets and remorse! Important: I‘m not talking about what I’m not sure so you can trust everything you read on my blog…

You have all the cards in hand to achieve a meteoric rise. I did sort through all the things I know to give you immediate and effective progressionwithout wasting time. The content is comprehensive but simple, clear, concise. By reading me, you learn more about seduction than your competitors and than the girls themselves … so go for it on the field! Get started with girls you already know, socialize online, approach in the street or in a club. Direct, indirect, groups, girls alone, etc. Have fun because seduction is a game and DARE!

Congratulations, you have become independent of dubious advice, confused and sometimes contradictory given by many blogs that claim to teach you how to seduce! The sad truth is that they do unfortunately have no interest in making you game better : they just want to shine but do not actually seek to liberate their readers from their chains… so that they come back visiting their sites to bring them money (in exchange for hope). You have understood now : they are into manipulation and not into sincerity and do not actually want to help others (I even suspect they deeply hate or at least feel smarter than their readers)! By the way, if my blog is not very famous it is not a coincidence because that is a good thing for all the profiteers, but fortunately the fate led you to me and you stayed, it is certainly not a coincidence either.

Finally, remember that in your interactions with women, you are the most important and you do not care about them in fact (except for your future wife, your sister and your mother). You do not care at least as long as they do not demonstrate that they deserve you. Do not do bad things around you and respect them all (even if they are sometimes pain in the ass) so try to be always in a good mood and fair-play! In all cases, it is better to make friends than enemies (or at least do not make enemies for bullshit)…

You now know how to act in any situation with women … because you understand what is the mindset underlying the success with the opposite sex. Congratulations, you have acquired the wisdom of human relationships! Understanding human relationships is something fascinating in my opinion … and I hope having given you a part of my passion.

See you soon on blog,

Your coach expert in men/women relationships and friend,

Fabrice

Advises to make a success of a relationship

You have to keep your dominance: reward the good behavior and punish the bad one. For example: by giving her or by removing your attention. Clarify the limits and do not tolerate the bad behavior, it will stop if you are strong.

You must be strong about your limits because you are free to leave at any time. Do not quarrel with her, do not offend her. Do nothing, wait that the storm passes and then start again just like that.

YOU DO NOT GO INTO THE SILLY SMALL GAMES OF OTHERS.

Imagine that you are there to offer her a protection: open doors in a dominant way or walk on the road side, on the pavement. Respect yourself and she will also respect you. Do not explain nor justify yourself all the time. The women love chasing us, thus let them run, that makes them go in for sport! 😉

The responsibility of the virile man it is the sex and not the everyday life relationship! That, it’s more a girl’s thing! Relax, she is going to do the job for you. It is her who calls you most of the time to see you. Do not call her too often. She has to believe that she is more attracted by you than you by her. Do not see her every time you can see her. But she must know that you appreciate her all the same “I like you”. She thinks she puts a lot more than you in the relation and is rewarded by you for her efforts!

Surprise her with little presents (cheap = you remain a challenge) like the CD of a group she likes because you listen carefully what she says. Do not let the relation become too predictable, it would be the best way of killing it. Offer flowers by surprise! Invite her without reason in a secret place.

You accelerate the process of making her fall in love with you by evoking “the fate which led to you to her”. She must be able to live her dreams through you.

Be confident and dominant. Give her positive emotion. Have frequent and good sexual relations. She needs more you than you need her, because you are the best lover of her life. Do not put into words the idea of breaking (never), even negatively (the brain doesn’t know the negation).

Be stable, strong. Be even-tempered. Be in control over on the emotional level, never upset. The woman is relaxed because you take control and decisions. Anyway, if she does not agree, she will let you know, don’t worry about that, and thus you will choose something else. Take the initiative. If she has to take a decision: give her the choice between two or three options.

USE POSITIVE TERMS.

If a woman feels a negative emotion for you, she can lose all the attraction which she had felt until now. It is thus necessary to react correctly! Do not give up to her whims, have your own opinion and your own personality. You are not a dog, right? Then keep your alpha frame. Being a man is an immense responsibility, you are the cornerstone of her life. You must be emotionally strong as a rock. Find a balance between the jerk who slumbers in you and the guy too needy who does not understand why he has a such amazing darling like her so that your relation has a chance of survival. Do not lie, it would be disrespectful. Prefer telling her the truth and not granting it too much importance, she will do the same and then that’s it.

Apologize if you screwed up. Knowing how to put aside your ego when it is necessary is a dominant alpha attitude. On the other hand, apologizing all the time is an attitude of submitted beta male. Say that you are sorry, say exactly why you screwed up and how you plan to correct it in the future. When the girl accepts your excuses (accept that she says that it’s fine) reward her (take her in your arms, and tell her that she is important for you). Then, do not talk any more about the quarrel.

With you, she has to have a feeling of safety, security and intimacy, thus avoid getting angry or snivelling (what a shame) because it demonstrates some insecurity. A trick to avoid losing your cool: control yourself and think of something else. Avoid being in a bad mood, it is an obvious fact that we have more success when we are joyful and relaxed. If she starts a quarrel, then go out and ignore it. If it really disturbs you, it is because you let her affect your reality (in the wrong way). Show that you do not find it serious! It should be noted that sometimes, the women sublimate their sexual desires by provoking quarrels. Do you enjoy becoming reconciled on the pillow?

Do not leave the principle that you have to pay for her for everything nor that they are the weaker and fragile sex. Psychologically, she has to pay enough to feel involved in your relation. Trick: give her some money and ask her to go to pay because when you pay, it is simply because you have a generous nature : you wait for nothing in return.

When you are in a relation, continue to take care of yourself! Avoid problems of alcohol, drug, unemployment …

Saying “I love you” too early is an error (psychological anchoring). It is necessary to say it when we know in 110 % that she feels the same thing, and of course when we are sure that it is the truth and not a finally filled lack of affection. Trick : if we still ask ourselves the question, it is because it is not good. Tell her that “you like her”, it is without risk and you do not put the pressure on her, you should not put her under pressure!

If she uses a lousy excuse to break up, do not take it personally, it is just that you do not attract her anymore: it’s like if SHE became obese. Thus accept your responsibility for what went wrong, and learn to do better the next time on the other hand, if it went well, accept laurels!

From time to time, do not forget to maintain the desire by telling her that you find her body very sexy with your small megasexy half-smile and your naughty eyes. To receive more, give more. Give without caring of what you have already given.

Do not make your girlfriend do something unwillingly, she would lose her affection for you: do not be aggressive.

DO NOT BE AGGRESSIVE.

Think in terms of punishment and reward, no blackmail. Do not ask to the common friends to choose: staying friend with somebody does not have to depend on others. Keep in mind that your ex is valuable people because you made out with. On the other hand, being appreciated by friends and family FIRST is a technique which will push her in your arms THEN.

Tell her that you date her exclusively, only if she asks for it and does the same thing (logic).

Your girlfriend does what she wants with her life, do not thus try to control her but have fun when you are with her.

Do not fully dedicate yourself to your girlfriend, you have other centers of interests which allow you to stand back and to appreciate all the more your darling.

 

Advise for a successful breakup

There is no reason for avoiding your ex or for ignoring her : you are cool and pleasant!

If she considers you as a loser, that is going to be difficult to make adjustment! Already that making a good first impression is difficult then rectifying a bad relationship is very hard… However, if you were her kind submitted and not exciting doggie and that you changed a lot, she can feel it. If it evolves in the right direction, continue what works!

Apparently, the women react better if they think that you abandoned left during your previous relation and that you turned over a new leaf at the moment (rather than the opposite) on condition that you do not specially talk anymore about your ex.

You can sleep with your ex: indeed, when a woman slept with a man, she thinks that it does not count if she goes back to bed with him… but be convinced that there are heaps of women somewhere else who are beautiful and who will know how to take care of you too and why not better than her!

Last point, it is very difficult to remain just “friend” with an ex. In any case, never do the things that she does with her “friends” and “the gays” like waiting for her at the hairdresser’s or the shopping.

What the evolutionary psychology teaches us about the break-up ?

This is about protecting yourself from retaliation of the opponent. First there is the risk of being killed or injured by jealousy, yourself or the new person you have chosen. Then there is the legal risks: the abandoned woman can obtain large amounts from the courts, so putting the man in a delicate situation with his new girlfriend, whom he can sometimes not provide sufficient resources. He should also worry about what will become the children already born: if the woman remarries, they have a higher risk of being killed or abused by their stepfather. Finally, we can mention reputational risks: some secrets or inventions can have devastating effects. It seems that this is the man who has most to fear from a break-up : apart from the initial risk of violence and murder, rare in educated circles, the woman does not have to fear retaliation extended, man being far less rancorous and quickly find ways to move forward. This does not mean that a woman can break up without any risk, she will also gain to be cautious, but the frivolity of the man provides her a natural protection which he does not have and in addition, the law (at least in France) is to her advantage. Learning how to break smoothly, that is to say without suffering retaliation thereafter is a necessity: a mistake at this level can challenge any optimization promised by the change of partner.

It is found that the most dangerous person in a rupture is not necessarily the one who has objectively lost the most, but the one who believes it. A woman may very well have earn a lot in alimony and other aid and yet continue to claim. Similarly, a man can continue to be jealous of the new companions of his ex-wife, and can be dangerous against them, even if he found another woman. It is rare that a break-up is going really well and it is much more common that each one account to the extent of the pride how much he or she lost because of the other. Whoever believe being the loser of the story, whatever the objective reality is, is the most dangerous. This distinction between reality and feeling is essential to understand how to break smoothly. The husband who goes away and whose wife feels humiliated will not win anything if he gives her more money or other things : all these generous attitudes act at the level of the reality, not on the feelings and are totally useless. Many divorce cases show us men who have almost left everything to their wives at the outset of the proceedings and woman continues to sue them forever. The man who thinks buying the pride of his wife is wrong and often pays it dearly.

The only effective way is to act on the feeling. Since the risk is high that someone of the couple feels like losing a lot more than the other during the break-up and establish retaliation, the only solution is that this person is not the other one. The man who has managed to make his wife believe that it was her who left him and that he will lose a lot, not only severely limit the risk of retaliation but perhaps may even benefit from her support later because she will try to stop feeling guilty. Similarly, the woman who will be left before leaving with her lover avoid any fit of jealousy, and maybe get a useful help from her husband. The goal is simple: to do not to suffer of a rupture, the only solution is to make the other believe he or she initiated it.

It is relatively easy for a man to be left by his wife: it is enough to observe all what his wife expects from him and to be systematically heartbreaking on each of these criteria. If the woman has chosen him for his resources or professional future, it will be enough to express concern about his future financial situation, or to show lack of ambition so that she can calls into question her commitment and looks around her the opportunities that present themselves to her. If she wanted him for his macho, distant, cold side, it’s enough for him to cling to his wife, to make her feel all the weight of his love, so she soon leaves and goes elsewhere to get some fresh air. He will have to obviously be careful not to wake up the possible side “nurse” of his wife.

This kind of attitude is extremely effective and it is not certain that it is always conscious. One could even imagine that some depressions, real, are only due to the unconscious brain choice to exactly fill the conditions necessary for the woman to leave. After that, the man will of course complain of being abandoned but in reality he will fully achieved his unspoken objective: Breaking without swirls. For a woman, the right strategy is rather to become the shrew who is hated by the family and close friends of her husband (consciously or not).

It would be ideal that the breakup is going well, without all that shit and all of these manipulations, that everyone honestly notice the couple’s situation and that the decision of rupture is common. The French law btw recognizes this possibility for divorce. However, do not dream too much. Intellectual discussion which could decide the two members for the full shared agreement separation way may not be in phase with each unconscious desires. This is not because everyone will accept this separation on the paper that he or she will not feel like losing too much and seek for revenge.